Alive And Victorious
by Kitsune1978
Summary: GaaraxMatsuri story, from their first day as a teacher and student till the ending of the Fourth Shinobi World War. COMPLETE.
1. 1 The girl with balls of steel

**A/N.**

**The idea of the story came to me when I started watching "Naruto" and GaaMatsu became my OTP. I began to search for well-written GaaMatsu stories, but there weren't many. I wanted a multi-chaptered story with a happy ending and a slow build-up, where it would take them quite long to grow interested in each other, and their bond would slowly strengthen through the years until they would realize they fell in love with each other. Actually, I didn't find such story, so I decided to write it myself.**

**Since it's my first story of such length, plus I'm not a native English speaker, the story has a few flaws, and I'm aware of them. It might be I will rewrite it one day but I can't make such a promise.**

**Anyway, people seem to like the story. I've been complimented on keeping Gaara's character in canon, and it made me happy. I think I can easily write him IC because I like him just the way Kishimoto had created him.**

**Btw if anyone would be interested, you can also follow this story on deviantArt.**

**Beta-reader: RANCHII**

**Story image by tariah23 . deviantart . com**

**I have her permission to use it.**

**Alive And Victorious**

**Chapter 1. The girl with balls of steel**

Matsuri sighed deeply and picked up her jouhyou. She tried to hit the target with it but missed. She was determined not to give up so easily, so she whipped her weapon again.

Missed again.

She couldn't pretend any longer she was focusing on her task while the only thing she was thinking about was her teacher's absence. Since their return from Konoha Gaara hadn't shown up on the training ground. Matsuri supposed he must have been feeling ill after fighting Shitenshounin. It was the only explanation she could come up with till now, even if during their trip to Suna he didn't seem to be exhausted or weakened.

The girl hurled the jouhyou at the training dummy. The rope wrapped around it, immobilizing her imaginary opponent, but she wasn't satisfied at all.

It was the third day since she was coming here and waiting for her teacher. During their return Gaara wasn't talking much and was paying only slight attention to her, but she already knew he was just like that – quiet and withdrawn. She didn't ask about their training then since she was sure they would resume it just after arriving at the village. Obviously she was wrong.

Matsuri disentangled the rope from the dummy and held the dart in her palm, pondering. She vividly remembered her first accurate hit at Seimei after he activated Gariantou. She was able to immediately understand her teacher's words and discover that her fear of weapons could decrease considerably when she had to protect someone important to her.

Of course Gaara wasn't especially important to her at that time. The girl had known him for a few hours and didn't know anything about him. She chose him to teach her because he was the least intimidating from the three teachers-to-be. Matsuri was surprised by other's reactions, but she thought they were exaggerating. Gaara really didn't look dangerous. He was short and frail. He wasn't talking much, but it turned out he was very patient and didn't laugh at her fears. It was all she needed to put her trust in him.

When Shitenshounin kidnapped her, she wasn't hoping someone will rescue her. She'd been living in Sunagakure only for a few weeks and she didn't have any friends. As it turned out, Gaara had come to save his student and if it wasn't for Konoha shinobi's help, he could even die from Seimei's attacks. Matsuri had learned about what Shitenshounin attempted to achieve just after arriving at Konoha. They wanted to capture and use for themselves the power which had been sealed into Gaara. They challenged him and even if he realized they must've been quite formidable enemies, he rushed to claim his student back. The student he had known only for a few hours.

Matsuri coiled up her jouhyou and stuck it into her pouch. She had enough of waiting here. She decided to act.

o0o0o0o

Kankurou was lecturing his students on molding chakra, truly hoping that they would quickly catch the idea. The puppeteer just hated to explain things again and again. He knew perfectly well he wasn't cut to be a teacher for a severe lack of patience, but all he could do at the moment was quietly curse the elders to manoeuvre him into teaching the future shinobi. The council decided to establish the Shinobi Academy in the village, similar to the Academy in Konohagakure, but Kankurou was deeply convinced they didn't start well. Of course he was keeping his mouth shut and didn't complain even once.

Temari seemed to be better teacher than him. Well, she had two younger brothers after all. She quickly learnt how to deal with unruly brats, or rather how to deal with the ones she could boss around and how to deal with the ones nobody could as much as think of bossing around.

As for Gaara... Kankurou really couldn't tell if his sibling was pleased with having a student who chose him to teach her, but after Matsuri's abduction it was clear Gaara was ready to do anything necessary to save her. Kankurou watched the two during their journey from Konoha. Matsuri seemed to genuinely like her sensei and was staying close to him. His older siblings obviously were intimidating her.

The puppeteer chuckled inwardly. The girl was very stupid, or very brave, or – what was the most possible – she didn't know anything. Maybe she didn't come from Suna. Kankurou had never seen her in the village, but it wasn't enough to tell since he didn't know all the children from Sunagakure. The girl seemed to be Gaara's age, so she must have known who he was. And even if she really didn't know, she had seen him half-transformed into Shukaku. She must have been frightened... except for she wasn't. Or was hiding it perfectly. During the trip she was constantly cheerful and was chattering almost all the time, not discouraged by Gaara's reclusive attitude at all.

"Kankurou-san," Darui said coyly, interrupting his teacher's musings.

"Hm?"

The kid pointed at something behind Kankuro's back. The puppeteer turned back and furrowed with astonishment when he saw Matsuri.

o0o0o0o

Gaara sat at the table and began to eat onigiri Temari had made in the morning. It wasn't exactly what he wanted to consume, but for a time being he had to be satisfied with rice balls filled with bamboo shoots. The meal was bland for his tastes but there was nothing else to serve himself. Temari was still gone and she was the one making the cooking here. Gaara would never do as much as even think of cooking. Besides, he hadn't been eating at Kazekage's house for five years, after being served with gobou karaage poisoned with strychnine. He almost died then and after that he had been going to canteen or restaurants whenever he was hungry. Of course he had never paid for his meals, but no one had ever protested. No one dared to utter a word. Sometimes Gaara was just walking into people's houses and demanding to be served with meal. Of course he was always getting what he wanted so why would he trouble himself with cooking.

Now he could also go to the canteen. He would wait in a line for his turn and pay for whatever they would serve him with, but he was certain that everybody would just leave after they had seen him. And Gaara wasn't in the mood for watching terrified faces and people fleeing from the canteen as if the leper had entered.

Those sombre ruminations have been interrupted by Kankurou's arrival. The puppeteer threw his hood back, sighing, and carefully lowered his puppets after unstrapping them from his back. He leaned the wooden dummies against the wall and poured the water into the mug. After that he collapsed on the chair and swallowed the water in one gulp.

"Man, what a day. Those brats will be the death of me."

"Hm," Gaara muttered and grasped the rice ball.

"Gaara," the puppeteer said and the redhead looked at him questioningly.

"Yes?"

"Matsuri came to me today when I was at the training ground. She asked me about you."

Gaara was slightly surprised. He took a bit of an onigiri and chewed on it for a moment before glancing at Kankurou again.

"She was worried you're feeling ill and that's why you're not coming," the puppeteer said and began to eat, watching his brother.

The redhead sank in his thoughts. He had never revealed to his siblings that he wasn't training with Matsuri anymore. He assumed it was obvious she would never want to have anything to do with him. At first she was kidnapped because she was somehow related to him, then she could see him half-transformed into Shukaku. No wonder she would want to find another teacher. Gaara was absolutely certain she had already found the one.

"I didn't know what to tell her," Kankurou said, chewing on the rice. "I lied you were still recovering from chakra exhaustion after the fight with Shitenshounin. I think she bought it."

Gaara nodded even if the lie was transparent. The reserves of his chakra were restoring considerably faster ad his wounds were healing better than on an ordinary shinobi, due to Ichibi's influence. It was strange Matsuri didn't notice that.

Gaara thought to himself that apparently Matsuri gave him more acceptance than he supposed to get from her. He couldn't understand it at all, but he wasn't going to push her away, since he decided to cherish even the slightest bond he had.

o0o0o0o

Six weeks had passed. Matsuri had been learning shinobi basic knowledge, at first in theory, recently in practice. She almost forgot she had ever feared of weapons. She was constantly training with her jouhyou but Gaara also instructed her how to throw kunais and shurikens. The girl had learnt about chakra and began to train how to control its flow and mold it. Matsuri's chakra type was doton and as for advanced techniques Gaara couldn't help her since he didn't know any. Even if he was wielding sand as his weapon, his chakra type was fuuton. Besides, he didn't really need anything except for his sand.

This time Gaara resolved on training taijutsu. He himself wasn't expert on it, and even was seriously lacking in this area as his fight with Rock Lee had revealed earlier. Training taijutsu was in his case just attacking, since nobody could hit him with regular speed due to his automatic shield. Of course Matsuri was endlessly attempting to do that, to no avail. So he was just standing there with his arms crossed, waiting for punches that were never reaching him, and from time to time he assaulted his student as well, surprising her.

After a couple of hours of constant training, Matsuri was exhausted so they settled themselves in the shadow of the stone wall and rested. The girl took a sip of water from her canteen, watching a large, blue bruise on her calf. She pressed it with her fingertips and hissed quietly, reminding herself to put an ointment on the bruise after coming home. Her sensei, being short and fragile-looking, was pretty strong and his attacks were powerful, even if she knew he was considerably holding back while fighting her.

Matsuri could hear voices of other ninjas from here. Many people were practicing on near training grounds, but she and her teacher were alone. Sometimes she really yearned for a larger company since her sensei wasn't very talkative. It was not so long ago when Matsuri had met a few other students, training under Temari and Kankurou, and she realized at once how much she was missing having friends. She had her teacher of course, and she really liked him, but he wasn't someone one could easily befriend. She tried to do that with her all, but she couldn't cross a barrier he set around his heart.

"I've heard there will be a shinobi academy here," Matsuri said, wanting to drag him into a conversation.

"Hn," Gaara muttered. "It'll be designed upon the Academy in Konoha."

Matsuri had no idea what he was talking about since she was in the said village only once before. She glanced at him and waited for the continuation.

"Students attend the Academy for four years and usually graduate when they're twelve. After the exam they become genins," he explained. "They have lectures there, and jutsu classes with chuunin instructors. Our Academy will be modelled upon that."

"Will you be a teacher at the Academy, sensei?"

Gaara glanced at her.

"I don't think so. I'm still a genin."

Matsuri frowned. It was one of the things she couldn't understand – why Gaara was still a genin, if his skills were like jounin's?

She imagined herself attending such Academy. She would meet many people and make friends. It would be fun to go to school with them and learn together in the evenings. She wouldn't feel so lonely then. But on the other hand she doubted if any instructor could dedicate needed amount of time to every student, and she probably wouldn't be one of the most brilliant. What if she needed an extra explanation and everybody would laugh at her, or even worse, the instructor would belittle her? What if they found out that she was afraid of weapons? In that case she would be never allowed to continue her training, and no wonder.

Gaara didn't mock at her fears and didn't belittle her. He was patient and didn't care about her clumsiness. Due to his attitude she was gaining more and more confidence and number of her lapses had considerably decreased. Would it be possible if she was Academy student?

She didn't think so.

o0o0o0o

"Hey, Matsuri!" somebody called so loud that each and every passerby turned his (or her) head into the direction where the person who gave the scream was. Matsuri recognized the voice immediately. The girl turned around and waited for Sari, Yakku and Darui. She had met them just two days earlier in the canteen. She had been sitting there and enjoying her favorite snack, taiyaki, when she noticed them, whispering, elbowing each other and pointing at her. After a few minutes they approached her and introduced themselves. Yakku and Sari were Temari's students, and Darui – Kankurou's.

As it turned out, Sari was a cheerful, noisy girl, laughing and happily fidgeting all the time. She had ordered okonomiyaki, but was also taking bits of food from her friends' plates, continuously commenting on what everyone was saying.

Yakku was calmly enduring Sari's unkind remarks, interrupting her from time to time to lightly sneer at her. Not even for a moment did he stop watching the entire canteen like he was expecting to be attacked at any time.

Darui's attitude could be described only as nonchalance. Sari's light sarcasm and Yakku's distrustful attitude didn't seem to reach him at all. The boy was slowly chewing on his ramen and listening to his friends' bantering.

Matsuri greeted them with smile since from that day she hoped they will meet again. She really wanted to have friends.

"Going home?" Sari chattered. "We finished the training, maybe we could drop in on you?"

Yakku rolled his eyes and Darui muttered something about tactlessness.

"Did you say something?" Sari growled. "Nobody forces you to go!"

And they did. They arrived at the building and climbed the stairs until they reached the last floor. Matsuri opened the door and let them in. She was glad to have guests, hoping only for them not to mind the mess.

The three began to look around curiously. There was only one small room and even smaller bathroom. At the window there was a table standing and Matsuri asked her guests to take a sit. They pulled the chairs while Sari gazed through the window.

"Wow, what a sight! Nice view of the Kazekage Tower, by the way," she giggled.

"And pity there's no Kazekage there," Yakku muttered.

Matsuri glanced at him curiously, taking off her kunai pouch and placing it on the shelf.

"The last Kazekage had passed almost a year ago and the council still can't make a decision who should be the next," Yakku explained.

"I've heard something like that," Matsuri said. "How come it happened at all?"

The boy shrugged.

"Ask your sensei."

Matsuri frowned, since the answer confused her a lot. To stall for a time, she walked up to the window slowly and sat on the wide window-sill, her feet dangling in the midair. Yakku's words didn't go unnoticed and the atmosphere quickly became thick. Sari stared at the girl without blinking, obviously waiting for an answer. Yakku was also curious, but hid it well. And Darui... it was rather difficult to fathom what he was thinking.

"Why him?" Matsuri said, the edge of bewilderment lingering in her voice.

Sari eyed her with disbelief.

"Because he is the son of the last Kazekage," she announced bluntly and Matsuri was nor far from falling from the window-sill. She clawed at the edge and fought to regain her balance.

"W-what?" she stuttered. "Gaara-sensei is Yondaime's son? Then Temari-san and Kankurou-san..."

"You don't know anything about him, do you?" Yakku asked suspiciously. "Where have you been living until now? On the moon?"

"When I was seven, my family left Sunagakure. We moved to Hanabira," Matsuri said proudly.

"Hanabira? This is near the border with Kawa no Kuni," Darui said and Matsuri nodded.

"How old are you then?" Yakku asked.

"Fourteen. And you?"

"I'm fourteen too," Sari beamed.

"Me too," Darui added.

"I'm fifteen," Yakku said, shrugging.

Matsuri was mute, digesting what she has heard. She just couldn't contain it in her head that Gaara was Kazekage's son. How come the demon had been sealed within him? His father ought to protect him from such a terrible fate. Why didn't he do this? Why didn't he save his child? The Kazekage was supposed to be the strongest shinobi in the village, for pity's sake!

"How long have you been staying in Suna?" Darui asked, interrupting her musings.

"Two months."

"And you really don't know who Gaara is?"

"My teacher," Matsuri answered angrily. "He's extremely patient, never rebukes me nor yells at me, thanks to him I stopped being afraid of weapons and began to believe in myself. Do you want to add something?"

"Do you know he has a monster sealed within him?" Sari said quietly.

"Yeah, I know," Matsuri snorted and rolled her eyes. "I've seen him half-transformed, and what ab—"

"WHAT?" Sari erupted, jumping to her feet. Yakku and Darui were gaping at Matsuri with their jaws dropped. "What did you say?" Sari asked with a calmer tone. "You've seen it? You've seen Shukaku of the Sand?"

"Shukaku of the Sand?" Matsuri echoed with astonishment. "This is how you call it? Ah, I see. That's why Gaara-sensei can manipulate sand, right? Because of that spirit?"

The three teens watched her with dumbfounded expressions.

"Yes," Sari said at last, her eyes sticking to Matsuri's face, "That's why".

Darui and Yakku exchanged cryptic glances.

"She really doesn't know anything."

"I do not know anything?" Matsuri said, her voice tinged with sarcasm. "So you could explain it to me, you know."

"Do you know how many shinobi from our village he has killed?" Yakku asked with serious face and Matsuri felt like the air has been sucked from her lungs.

"Wh-what?"

"He was killing on whim, whoever he wanted dead, and when he was furious, he was changing into Shukaku and only Yondaime could stop him," Yakku blurted out.

"My friend's little brother didn't want to play with him. He still has huge scars over his legs where the sand wounded him," Darui added.

"My granny's neighbour looked askance at him—"

"My uncle's friend didn't go back from the mission. He was found dead deep in the desert with all his bones crushed—"

Matsuri was glancing at them wildly with her mouth open.

"My grandfather told me—"

"There was a shinobi with a scar on his face, do you remember?"

"...the sand broke his legs—"

"...he was only eight years old—"

"...her dad didn't come back home—"

"Stop it!" Matsuri screamed with her legs wobbling beneath her, blocking up her ears with her palms. "I can't listen to this anymore!" Tears ran down her face. "You... you like talking about that!'"

They were silent at last, staring at Matsuri with quite bewildered looks, watching her rub her eyes with the fists. Matsuri felt nauseated and scared, not knowing why would they blurt out such things to her.

"What are you up to?" she whispered, watching them with the miserable expression. "Even if it is true what you are saying—"

"It is _true," _Yakku interjected callously.

"So why do I feel we're talking about two different people? Gaara-sensei I know never hurt me. He never did as much as yell at me. Even when I'm clumsy and dense he never grows impatient. Never. He always helps me. How are you going to explain this to me?" Matsuri asked, yearning so badly she could answer those questions herself.

o0o0o0o

Gaara glanced at his student and for the next time could ascertain that Matsuri was acting awkwardly. Different than usual. Like she wasn't herself.

"Matsuri," the redhead uttered, attempting to draw her attention. "Today you're going to try another technique, Henge no Jutsu."

The old Matsuri would express her enthusiasm immediately, clap her hands, overrun him with inquiries, and shift impatiently, her entire being full with intention to learn. The new one only nodded in silence, apparently lost in her thoughts.

"Gaara-sensei, I'm ready," she said uneagerly, not looking him in the eyes.

The redhead deliberated what to do. It must have been a serious matter, to change his student's attitude to such an extent. However Matsuri didn't mention at all what was eating her, so he decided she wanted to keep it to herself. On the other hand her concentration was almost non-existent due to whatever was nagging at her. Sometimes he had to repeat the same line twice, after her absent-minded question: "Gaara-sensei, I'm sorry... Did you say something?"

He shook his head to himself. Having no experience at all in lending a sympathetic ear he couldn't imagine Matsuri choosing him to tell him about her problems, so he decided to simply continue the training.

"Seals you need to form to execute this technique are the following: dog, boar, ram."

The girl nodded indifferently and echoed in a low voice:

"Dog, boar, ram..."

"This is an E-ranked supporting technique."

"E-ranked supporting technique..."

Gaara suppressed the sigh. He just wanted Matsuri's grim mood to go away quickly since he didn't exactly know how to deal with it. He didn't realize earlier, how much he got accustomed to the sunny, cheerful traits of her personality.

Hoping to shake her enough to change her state of mind he chose to share the last news with her that he had previously decided to keep in secret until now.

"In a week we'll have to temporarily stop our training ."

"Why?" she asked curiously.

"I have a mission assigned," he said, adjusting the gourd on his back.

"A mission?" Matsuri repeated, frowning and eyeing him suspiciously.

"I volunteered for the regular troops."

His words had exactly such an effect as he expected since Matsuri parted her lips, gasping, and stared at him with disbelief.

o0o0o0o

Kankurou put a tray on the table, unwrapped his two puppets from his back and rested them against the wall. He sat down, raised the chopsticks and began to consume, listening to the rustle of voices of many shinobi gathered in the canteen. Suddenly his attention was caught by what he decided was Gaara's name uttered in a quiet tone.

"Yeah, I've heard about it," a shinobi said. "Who would have thought?"

"Why would he join the regular troops? It's odd."

Someone chortled loudly.

"Poor Reki! He almost wet his pants when they told him who leads the mission!"

The other men's laughter rippled through the air.

"Yeah, especially since Reki is twenty seven, and his captain thirteen!"

Kankurou listened carefully, trying to eat calmly like he didn't have the care in a world and wasn't eavesdropping to that particular conversation.

"Laugh until you can!" a younger voice has uttered. "What will you do when they assign you a mission with him?"

A silence fell at once, heavy, grim silence. Kankurou swallowed a bit of his okonomiyaki and wondered if they noticed him at last.

"They say he has changed," a voice uttered at last.

"Phew, I wouldn't believe it," someone mocked. "Piss him off and you'll see what happens."

"Poor girl, this student of his."

"A student? You're telling me he has a student?"

"Yeah, he has! He's teaching her for almost two months now."

"You just came back from the border post so you don't know any news."

"Unbelievable... And she's still alive? I have to see her!"

Kankurou winced. He knew people detested Gaara, but this was a bit too much. The chopsticks cracked in his palm and the puppeteer had to call for all of his self-control not to explode. He took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes, reminding himself of how he used to hate and fear Gaara and how long it took him to trust his younger brother completely. Those people weren't any different and Kankurou was sure that the time would come when they will change their minds.

The shinobi, oblivious to his presence, continued talking.

"What is her name then?"

"Matsuri. The girl must have been born with the balls of steel!"

"Matsuri?" another voice interjected, an older, hoarse voice. "Aoba's granddaughter was named Matsuri."

"Aoba's? You mean the old Aoba, who died commencing the mission 1023—"

"SHHHH!" the shinobi, who sounded like Mukade, hissed loudly. "Don't talk about that! The walls can grow ears at any time!"

Kankurou froze, not listening to them anymore. It was a coincidence... it had to be. There could be more missions with respective numbers starting with 10, which stood for a high difficulty of the assignment and its top secrecy. The beginning of the reference number sounded awfully familiar, but the puppeteer forced himself to push that thought away. He quickly finished eating, slung the puppets on his back and quickly exited the canteen. The only unwelcome thought that dared to shot through his mind was if Matsuri knew – assuming his guess was correct – at whose hands her grandfather suffered the death.

o0o0o0o

Matsuri was trying to focus on her feet and sensed a diminutive tingling when the chakra began to accumulate at her soles. The girl continuously repeated the instruction in her mind. _If the stream of chakra is too weak, you will lose your footing on the wall and fall off. If it is too strong, you will be pushed away_.

She glanced at her sensei, who was effortlessly standing on the stone wall twenty feet above her head with his hands crossed upon his chest, patiently waiting for her. The loose strip of his sash was fluttering with the light breeze.

Matsuri took one unsteady step, then another. She looked at him again and after all her focus was immediately distracted, she fell off onto her back.

The girl slowly pulled herself to a sitting position and hissed, touching her shoulders and the back of her head, where she could touch the small bump. Gaara jumped down easily and stood next to her.

"Matsuri," he emphasized. The girl raised her head and gazed at him questioningly. "What is it?" he finished, his expression serious.

The girl grimaced and averted her eyes. He already tried to raise that topic with her once, but she managed to put him off. What was she supposed to say? To ask about the truth? About the crimes he commited? The cruelty? The bloodlust? Those were topics extremely hard to raise with anyone, and with him in particular. Matsuri's instinct was telling her there were many secrets lying in the shadows of her teacher's past. There was evil there, darkness, hatred, intent to kill – but there was also something more. She could sense clearly the boundless sorrow, humiliation, suffering. If she could she would rather not learn all those things, but people made sure the blissful ignorance wasn't her option anymore. They were sharing the terrible details with her with almost sadistic satisfaction and Matsuri knew much more things about Gaara tha she had ever wanted to know. It was not only about Sari, Yakku and Darui, no. Since Matsuri became Suna's infamous monster's student people took the same unhealthy interest in her that they had in Gaara, with only one difference – they were never approaching him, but with her there was a different story. The strangers were pestering her on the streets, inquiring (or interrogating rather) and bothering her. And the things they were relating could make shinobi even tougher than her nauseous – and she wasn't tough. At first Matsuri tried to defend him, but they didn't listen at all and she realized no one was willing to learn the truth about him – her truth. Those horrible stories were exciting them and they seemed to be addicted to the sensation.

"What is it?" Gaara repeated and the girl sighed heavily, rubbing her bruised shoulder unconsciously. She knew she couldn't hide the truth anymore.

"People are... pestering me," she admitted and looked away. "They tell me... things."

"Things?" he asked, frowning.

"Things about..." Matsuri swallowed visibly. "About you."

Gaara didn't comment on that and Matsuri grabbed a fistful of sand, her gaze sticking to her knees. She could feel the burning rays of sun on her exposed neck. Finally she peeked up at him, troubled with the silence. Gaara was standing with his arms crossed, staring into space. The girl got up slowly.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. The readhead glanced at her wordlessly. His pale eyes were empty and Matsuri bit her lower lip. "I'm sorry," she repeated, her voice barely audible. Gaara shook his head, still silent. Matsuri scanned his face thoroughly.

She couldn't imagine these large, almond-shaped eyes glaring with hatred and fury.

She couldn't imagine this deep, calm voice spitting venom.

She couldn't imagine these delicate hands stained with blood.

She just couldn't.

**The end of chapter 1.**

**The next chapter: The boy with X-ray eyes**

**A/N:**

I was too lazy to devise original names for ooc characters in my story, so I just borrowed Darui's name from Kishimoto-sama. In the manga Darui comes from Kumogakure and is a kinda powerful shinobi, right hand of Raikage. In my story Darui is just a regular student and his role is only to be one of Matsuri's best friends.

Yakku is one of Sunagakure's genin, 18-year-old, and appears in 253th chapter. In my story he is younger and has a certain role to play, but it is still to be seen.

Shitenshounin= four ninjas from Takumi Village, appearing in Naruto fillers, who abducted Matsuri (shi=four; ten=sky, heaven; shounin=holy priest, saint; also nin=ninja)

Seimei=founder of Takumi Village

Gariantou=Seimei's sword with the ability of amplifying user's chakra

onigiri=rice balls with various fillings

doton=earth release

fuuton=wind release

gobou karaage=small pieces of _arctium lappa_ (greater burdock) roots marinated in a mix of soy sauce and garlic, then lightly coated with a seasoned wheat flour and fried in a light oil.

taiyaki=fish-shaped cake, filled with red bean paste made from sweetened azuki beans

Hanabira=a city not existing in Narutoverse, created by me for this fic's purposes

Kawa no Kuni=Country of Rivers

Mision 1023098 – the concept borrowed from an amazing fanfic „Lucky Number" by Storymaster Caith. To learn about that mission check the story (id:4460390) or wait until my story unfolds.


	2. 2 The boy with the X ray eyes

**Story image by tariah23 . deviantart . com**

**I have her permission to use it.**

**Beta-reader: RANCHII**

© "Naruto" is created and copyrighted by Kishimoto Masashi and owned by Shueisha Publishing Co., Ltd. and Studio Pierrot.

Enjoy.

**Alive And Victorious**

**Chapter 2. The boy with the X-ray eyes**

Matsuri took a deep breath.

"I didn't ask anybody, I really didn't, they accost me, nag at me, they talk to me even if I don't want to listen-" she recited desperately, pressing her hands against her chest.

"You want me to stop teaching you," Gaara interrupted. It wasn't a question.

The girl shook her head frantically.

"No! I didn't say that! I-I'm just..." Her voice quivered. "I just don't understand, sensei," she admitted timidly. "I know you would never hurt me. I'm absolutely sure of it. I trust you. I would trust you with my life."

The redhead watched her with an impassive face.

"How is that possible that you didn't know anything?" he inquired.

"My family moved out of Suna seven years ago, after my grandfather died on the mission. I can't remember seeing you earlier. I have only one memory when the village had been evacuated and only Yon-" The girl hesitated and looked at her feet. "Only Yondaime went back to the village with ANBU escort."

Gaara didn't comment on her words so she glanced at him shyly.

"You remind him a bit," she admitted.

"Who?"

"Yondaime."

He turned his head, gazing away, and slowly closed his eyes. Matsuri quickly dropped the topic.

"I might hear some stories, but I don't remember even one. Even if I did I don't think I could bring them all together and figure out the truth. Not until recently-" her voice faltered.

Gaara breathed deeply, opened his eyes and nodded, still looking away. His lips parted like he was about to say something.

"Sensei," Matsuri threw in quickly. "I don't want to pry into your past. I began speaking about it only because you asked me. I fully understand people of the village still live in a vast fear of you, but I don't have a reason to be afraid. That's why I'm going to believe in what I experienced by myself. I wish I could understand all of this, but I-" She broke off. "Let's not talk about that again, okay?" she offered, focusing on her feet and forcing chakra into them. She approached the stone wall they have been practicing on and glanced back at her teacher, who was still standing motionless where she left him.

"Sensei," Matsuri said with confidence and pressed her foot to the stone surface. "Let's continue."

o0o0o0o

The sky over Sunagakure has darkened and the blazing, gusty wind picked up suddenly, carrying the red and yellow sand dust from the inside of the desert. The villagers began hiding behind the closed windows and doors since they knew perfectly well what was coming.

Matsuri was sitting in the canteen, near the window, and calmly observed the bustle on the street and the sand's assaults on the plexiglass. Next to her Sari was sitting, sipping the grape juice – the delicacy rarely available in Suna, and very expensive. Sari must have spent the half of her allowance on it, but she obviously didn't regret it. Matsuri, who also spent most of the money that her relatives had sent her this month, was eating a most common vegetable tempura and talking with Yakku and Darui. The boys were sitting with their backs facing the window and Darui was rocking on the chair, glancing back from time to time.

"Seems a sandstorm's coming," he commented.

Sari nodded, drinking her juice with small gulps, her eyes half-lidded with delight.

"It's a tiny one. It will subside in no time," Yakku said, shrugging. "And you better be careful or you'll fall."

Darui acknowledged his words with a nod and started rocking back and forth again. The four watched an empty street, where only the wind was raging, hurling the clouds of dust. The sand was spiralling higher and higher, obscuring the sun.

"Just like Gaara-sensei's jutsu," Matsuri muttered absent-mindedly and her friends perked their ears. They were always interested in any news of her training, although they stopped feeding her with the gruesome stories with Gaara as the main character.

"Hmm?" Sari made a noise which, Matsuri just knew that, was meant to encourage her to share further details with them.

"His sand is just as the same unpredictable and fast. It is very difficult to fight it," Matsuri explained, raising the last bit of tempura with her chopsticks. "Just like you were trying to battle with a sandstorm."

Yakku leaned back in his chair with a nonchalant smirk.

"Phew," he snorted. "Tell me, why our conversations always end up around him?"

"You're asking about him himself," Darui mumbled and rocked back. The chair's legs scraped against the floor and the boy landed on the hard surface with a surprised "Ow!".

"I told you so," Yakku chided, stretching his hand. Darui grasped it and pulled himself to a standing position, hissing and cursing quietly. His other hand sneaked behind his back and he rubbed his rear end with a wince.

"You didn't train with him today, did you?" Sari inquired and tilted the mug to sip the last drops of the juice.

"Yrrght," Matsuri let out an unintelligible answer. "Yesterday as well," she continued after swallowing the food. "I had to train alone since Gaara-sensei is on the mission. A joint mission with Konoha."

"Oh?" Darui's interest was picked. "A joint mission?"

Matsuri shrugged.

"He said so. He went yesterday with Yaoki-san and Korobi-san. I don't know any extra details."

"And you miss him already?" Yakku mocked.

The girl glanced at him with a frown. There was something in his voice she couldn't figure out. She grasped the mug and took a sip of water.

"Always Gaara-sensei this, Gaara-sensei that," Yakku wasn't done with his mocking. "Bet you're sweet on him, aren't you?"

The girl goggled and burst with laughter, sputtering the water on her friends. Darui wiped his face with a disgusted pout and Yakku shook the liquid off like a dog.

"Some-somebodyyy is jealous heeere," Sari hummed and Yakku's eyes threw daggers at her.

Matsuri couldn't stop giggling with tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

"Look... who's...talking," she choked out at last. „"Yet it's you who is always staring at Temari-san's breasts, maybe not?"

The blush rose to Yakku's cheeks immediately.

"Matsuri scored a point on you," Darui chuckled, patting his friend on the shoulder.

"Gaara-san is cute," Sari said dreamily and Matsuri glanced at her from the corner of her eye. She sipped the water again and tried to picture her teacher's face in her imagination. She had never pondered over his looks but it was not necessary to tell that he looked completely different from all of the Sunagakure shinobi, even his own siblings, with his pale skin, red hair and large, pale, mysterious eyes. She had never seen such a bloody red hair before nor the eyes making her feel like she was being X-rayed. But what was the oddest was his skin, white like alabaster. Matsuri wondered if it was due to the monster living within him, but she didn't make any constructive conclusion.

Thinking of her teacher brought her to the topic of the mission he was assigned at. The girl hoped with all her might that there will be no trouble during the mission. She wanted so much other shinobi would look at Gaara with different eyes. She wanted them not to be afraid. When Gaara announced her that he joins the regular troops, she was astonished, to say the least. She didn't understand his reasons at all and wasn't in a position to voice her doubts then, but now she knew what his purpose was. He wanted the village to accept him and was ready to do anything necessary to achieve this goal.

And Matsuri could help him.

o0o0o0o

Matsuri was walking towards the training ground, or rather shuffling along. She really wanted to see for herself her teacher was fine, but on the other hand she just didn't know what to say. Since his return the gossips were roaring around the village because it turned out that the elders sent an ANBU assassination squad after him and his two companions. That thought gave Matsuri chills. Yes, she knew that villagers dreaded Gaara and despised him because of his past misdeeds, but the girl was convinced that they also accepted him, even though reluctantly, as the Suna's ultimate weapon, and considered all his madness being an indispensable price for them to pay for being able to use such a power. Matsuri has never thought before that their hatred and fear reach to such an extent as to murder Gaara.

The girl tried to push away that thought and concentrate on something else, which was maybe even more surprising. As the rumor ran, two Gaara's subordinates stood up for their captain and fought the assassins shoulder to shoulder with him. Matsuri was very happy to hear that since the prospect of two other people genuinely accepting her teacher was very exciting. Having that in mind, she quickened her pace and entered the training ground almost running. She could see Gaara in a distance and her heart began to sing. She wanted to throw her arms around his neck and express all her delight but it was Gaara – no hugs, please, at least until you don't want to be strangled by sand.

The girl walked slowy towards him, scrutinizing his face, but it was impossible as usual to read his expression. Her ribs ached from her frantic heartbeat and she dropped her gaze, scanning his entire figure to discover any traces of fight, but finding none. Nobody would say he battled an ANBU assassination squad a few days ago. Finally she stopped in front of him and put her hand on her chest.

"Gaara-sensei," she uttered with a trembling voice, her eyes watering. "I'm so glad you're back..."

He nodded calmly and opened his mouth, presumably to greet her, but gasped softly and flinched a bit, when twin salty streaks poured down his student's cheeks. Matsuri quickly called an apologetic smile upon her face and wiped the tears with her fist, taking few deep breaths to calm down. In this very moment she set the certain task for herself to complete. She decided to do anything to grow stronger and protect her teacher, even it it would mean fighting an ANBU assassination squad.

o0o0o0o

"I hate this!" Matsuri shouted, throwing her shirt aside furiously, and picked up another one. "I hate this, hate, hate, HATE!"

Her body started to change when she was twelve, but recently the changes increased that much that she couldn't adjust quickly enough. Her hips were becoming broader and broader, and her breasts were growing fuller and fuller and began to bulge too visibly for her taste, continuously frustrating her. Due to alterations in her physique she had to buy new clothes more often than she could afford it and, what was bad as well, the twin mounds were interfering with her training when she was throwing her jouhyou or flinging shurikens.

The girl put another shirt on and snarled quietly. The shirt was emphasizing her breasts way too much due to its low neckline. Even if she wasn't gifted with such assets like Temari, Matsuri didn't feel comfortable to wear an outfit exposing that particular area of her body.

_I need new clothes, again!_ she thought to herself, annoyed, because she knew her family wasn't willing to increase the amount of money they were giving her. On the contrary, she had a suspicion that it would decrease soon. _If it continues, I'll have to spend less money on food!_

Matsuri wrapped the thin shawl around her neck and left her apartment. She closed the door, went downstairs and left the building, turning left to make towards Sari's house, since they were to meet at 11. After making a few steps Matsuri stopped, realizing her feet carried her on their own. She turned around and walked towards the shopping district where the sewer resided.

The girl was looking around the district with interest, even if she didn't have money to purchase most of the things she'd like to have. She even worried she would be forced to sell some of her belongings soon. That thought made the girl grim.

"Ohoho, look what do we have here," a voice uttered from behind her back. Even before she could glance back, a shinobi appeared next to her. His face seemed to be familiar, but Matsuri didn't think she had seen him many times. The guy watched her lasciviously.

"Need to walk you home?" he inquired sweetly, grinning. Matsuri glared at him with disgust.

"No, thank you," she stressed.

"Oh, we're sooo menacing, aren't we?" he mocked teasingly, winking at her. "You're very pretty, you know?"

The girl snorted and scowled. She could hear a low chuckling from behind her and it infuriated her.

"Ittetsu, do you know who are you trying to pick up?" the male voice asked and shinobi walking by Matsuri's side glanced back and shrugged carelessly.

"She's Gaara's student," another voice interjected, the name of her sensei sounding like the low hiss in the man's throat. Matsuri observed with kind of bewilderment how the guy named Ittetsu gasped and paled immediately. He stuttered, turned on his heel and went away quickly. The girl looked back where the voices she had heard before were coming from and her eyes caught the small group of ninjas standing in front of the weapon shop. They waved at her, turned around fast and entered the shop as if assuring her they didn't mean to pester her. Matsuri scowled at the shop window and resumed her pacing with a huff. She was almost reaching her destination when she spotted Temari in the crowd. The older kunoichi nodded at her and stepped closer.

"Good morning, Temari-san," Matsuri said, unable to completely erase the anger from her voice.

"Hello, Matsuri," Gaara's sister said. "What is it? You look annoyed."

Matsuri growled under her nose.

"I just managed to turn an idiot away. He tried to flirt with me but fortunately he decided to sod off when his companions enlightened him on who did he accost."

Temari gazed at her with astonishment.

"They told him I'm Gaara-sensei's student and he ran away," the younger girl beamed. "I will do this again when men will pester me, ha!" she exclaimed triumphantly.

Temari made a face like she wanted to say something but Matsuri bid her a quick farewell and went into the sewer's shop.

o0o0o0o

Kankurou was lying on his bed with his head settled comfortably against the pillow and the headboard and his eyes closed. He was bathing in the tranquillity and the silence he yearned for so much after an entire day of babysitting. The puppeteer hoped that the Academy in Suna will be established fast and he was sure he would never do as much as step through the threshold. His patience was always thin and now it was dangerously stretched to the extent where he almost couldn't control himself sometimes.

Children just weren't his specialty.

The footsteps sounded in the corridor and Kankurou perked his ears, immediately recognizing Gaara. The redhead was usually moving around silently, but when he decided to announce his presence with a shuffling of his sandals, it sounded kind of... sinister.

"Gaara, is that you?" the puppeteer asked even if he knew perfectly well that the person slowly walking down the dark corridor was his younger brother.

"Hn," the short, almost unintelligible answer came.

Yeah, definitely Gaara.

Kankurou propped himself up on his elbows and gazed at the open door. Frankly he wanted to talk and that's why he had decided to say something, but he still couldn't tell if Gaara was in the mood to talk. This new, reformed Gaara was still an awful introvert and you could count on the fingers of one hand the times when Gaara had been uttering five sentences in a row.

"You didn't have a training with Matsuri today?" the puppeteer called tentatively. "I've seen you watching my genins."

The short, fragile figure appeared in the doorway and Kankurou waved his hand invitingly. Gaara stepped inside, scanning his brother's face. _Like I was being X-rayed_, the puppeteer thought.

"Matsuri didn't feel well," Gaara answered at last with his usual indifferent tone.

Kankurou pulled himself to a sitting position when Gaara dragged a chair and settled himself on it. The puppeteer frowned.

"Is she sick?"

The redhead shrugged.

"I think I could catch the scent of blood from her but she insisted she wasn't wounded."

"The blood...?" Kankurou echoed hesitantly and when the realization hit him, he smacked himself at the forehead. "The blood!" he repeated, disconcerted, and leaned backwards.

Gaara glanced at him searchingly, obviously waiting for a continuation.

"Blood... you know..." Kankurou stumbled, scratching his head and laughing nervously. He could clearly recall the scene from few years ago when the old Gaara had approached the kitchen table his siblings had been sitting at and growled with a hateful expression: "I feel blood." Temari's red cheeks could rival the desert sunset when the poor girl had to explain her mad younger brother where did the smell come from. Gaara didn't look perturbed or disgusted at all with all those details of female physiology; he was too excited with the very scent. Since then Temari was avoiding him like a plague during these particular days of the month.

"It's a, uh, a girl's thing, you know," Kankurou shot at last with his cheeks flushed slightly when Gaara's steady gaze became too difficult to endure. "Maybe her stomach was aching."

"Girl's-" Gaara cut short and nodded – the puppeteer didn't know if it was to him or himself. "I see. Why didn't she tell me then?"

Kankurou's eyes widened and he watched his brother with the dumbfounded expression. This was not a joke since Gaara and jokes didn't mix. The redhead was absolutely serious and the puppeteer scratched the back of his own head. As the older brother he really should do something, tell something, but he didn't have the tiniest idea how to introduce the word _embarrassment_ into Gaara's dictionary.

o0o0o0o

Gaara went into the canteen and approached the last shinobi standing in the short line next to the counter. The silence that surrounded him almost immediately was almost tangible, like he had been closed in the transparent bubble, which was expanding bit by bit in every direction. The shinobi sitting closest to the entrance were the first to stop eating and watch him with consternation. Then a man standing in front of him was pushed by someone and swayed unsteadily, until he lost his balance and roughly stepped back, almost trampling over Gaara's foot. Almost, because the sand reacted in a flash. The man, two heads taller than Gaara, turned around with a suspicious frown. When he didn't see anyone, his gaze lowered and in the very moment his eyes reached Gaara's face, he paled until his complexion matched Gaara's white skin. Gaara wasn't looking at the man. He stood with his arms crossed, watching the cooks on the other side of the counter and pretending that nothing had happened. The older shinobi turned again, very slowly, and Gaara could see from the corner of his eye the pure shock and terror in the man's eyes. His name was Ittetsu, if Gaara remembered correctly.

By this moment each and every one shinobi in the canteen realized already who had appeared amongst them. They were sitting still and casting glances at him, their eyes full of despise and fear, eyes which Gaara detested the most. He started to regret he came here but now he just couldn't retreat so he waited patiently for his turn. He took a tray with his meal and walked towards the unoccupied table by the wall, then unstrapped the gourd from his back and put it next to him. Ignoring people's gazes, trying to burn holes in his skull, the redhead settled down, split the chopsticks and began to eat.

The silence reigning in the place had been suddenly disrupted by an exclamation.

"Gaara-sensei?"

The redhead raised his eyes when he heard his own name. From the entrance Matsuri was striding towards him with the big grin plastered to her face. The girl didn't realize the tension in the air and obviously didn't notice the looks the other shinobi were giving her. Gaara nodded in acknowledgement and Matsuri stopped next to him, putting her palms on his shoulders and leaning forward to look at his plate.

"What is it? Looks tasty!" the girl chirped and the shocked whispers reverberated in the air. Gaara was literally frozen, unable to choke out a word, when her hair tickled his cheek. He regained his composure when he sensed trembling in Matsuri's hands. In fact the girl didn't place her palms on his body. Her fingers hovered an inch above his shoulders, brushing them gentler than a feather's touch.

"Chicken karaage," he stuttered out at last.

Matsuri pulled her hands back and sat next to him, eyeing his lunch curiously. Gaara glanced at her suspiciously. There was something in her attitude and her tone he couldn't understand. She wasn't Matsuri he knew. The redhead looked into the girl's eyes. They were frightened, but full of the unshaken determination.

It seemed that Matsuri wasn't that ignorant or naive as he thought. She spotted pretty fast that the atmosphere was thick and decided to carry on the little show for every shinobi present. Her words and actions were meant to carry on the certain message and Gaara thought he knew what message it was.

"Can I have a piece?" the girl asked and he knew she was doing it for him so he only nodded in silence.

The black-haired shinobi sitting in the farthest corner chortled quietly.

"This is Aoba's granddaughter, no more no less! Brave girl!" he said almost inaudibly, so the two he had been watching couldn't hear.

"Aoba's?" the younger voice added in a whisper. "The one fighting with chakra blades?"

"Yeah. He said he borrowed this trick from one of Konoha kids."

"Shhh!" another shinobi shushed them. "Look at them!"

They watched Matsuri who picked a bit of food from her teacher's plate and began to chew on it.

"Kyaaa!" she screamed and everyone jumped to the ceiling. The girl pressed her throat with one palm and searched blindly with the other until she grasped the mug standing on the table. She put the mug to her lips and drank the water so fast that the liquid poured from the corner of her lips and streaked down her chin and neck. "Th-thi-this is SO SPICY!" the girl could speak at last, with her chest falling and rising rapidly.

"This is how I like it," Gaara said nonchalantly and slowly took a piece of his meal with the chopsticks. Matsuri tried to wipe the tears staining her face while her sensei raised the chopsticks to his mouth and began to chew on the food with an apparent delight.

A few shinobi dared to utter a low chuckle. More of them grinned, turning their heads away or covering their mouths with their hands.

Matsuri glared at her teacher with her jaw dropped. Her astounded expression slowly changed into the infuriated one. Gaara wondered if it was still the show or was she really angry.

"Gaara-sensei!" she reproached, pouting. "You should have warned me!"

The redhead glanced at her and didn't say anything.

"Did you see it? Did you?" shinobi began to whisper. "What a girl!"

"I'm going to order the meal," Matsuri announced with a huff. Gaara only nodded, so the girl snorted and paced towards the counter. The cooks standing behind it were also staring at the two. Everyone in the canteen just couldn't decide if to watch Gaara, consuming his lunch with an indifferent face, or his student, who began to scold one of the cooks.

"Oji-san!" she called. "Close your mouth before a fly gets in. Okonomiyaki, please – but not spicy!"

Another surge of hushed laughter accompanied her words. The shinobi sitting in the corner elbowed his companion in the ribs.

"Brave girl, didn't I say so? And pretty."

"What does she have in herself that she managed to tame the monster?"

"She would never do that if she knew about Aoba."

"You think she doesn't know? But everyone knows."

"Shhh," another man hissed. "Look, look at them!"

Gaara didn't hear what they were talking about but he thought he could easily figure what that was. Most of the shinobi in the canteen still sat with their eyes stuck to Matsuri, who looked like she was completely oblivious. She held a tray with her meal and two mugs of water in her outstretched hands. She was just near the table, when she stumbled and the tray tilted dangerously. The people around gasped audibly and leaned back when the cork from Gaara's gourd shot up and the spiralling sand propped up the tray. Matsuri glanced at her teacher with a smile and released the grip, letting the sand put the tray on the table-top.

"Thanks for help," the girl said merrily and took a seat next to him. After the slight twitch of Gaara's hand the sand whirled in the air and obediently went back into the gourd. Matsuri didn't even glance at it. She raised the chopsticks and split them.

"Itadaki-" The girl ceased talking and grabbed the mug with the other hand. "Gaara-sensei, I'm sorry I drank your water," she apologized and pushed the mug in his direction, then glared at him with her eyes narrowed. "You've deserved it, you know?"

If Gaara didn't know that his student was capable to change her mood every minute, he would have been surprised, when Matsuri beamed a bright grin at him.

"Here you are," she let the mug go and looked down at her meal. "Itadakimasu!" she exclaimed and began to eat. Gaara sipped the water and the people around began to relax tentatively. Matsuri opened her half-lidded eyes and gave him a knowing smile. "So, Gaara-sensei, what is your favourite food?"

**The end of chapter 2.**

**The next chapter: Control issues**

A/N: I decided to make Matsuri's personality a mix of Tsukino Usagi and Yuuki Miaka. Even if she is growing up physically, her emotions and way of thinking are still that of a child.

As for the title of this chapter, does anyone still remember the band Babylon Zoo and its album "The Boy With The X-Ray Eyes"? Well, I do and I thought it fits Gaara perfectly :3

tempura=vegetables or meat battered and deep fried;

jutsu=ninja technique;

Ittetsu - a shinobi from Sunagakure, appearing in the manga and anime;

chicken karaage=small pieces of chicken marinated in a mix of soy sauce and garlic, then lightly coated with a seasoned wheat flour and fried in a light oil;

oji-san=mister;

itadakimasu=let's eat (literally: I humbly receive)


	3. 3 Control issues

**Beta-reader: RANCHII (thanks a lot!)**

**© "Naruto" is created and copyrighted by Kishimoto Masashi and owned by Shueisha Publishing Co., Ltd. and TV Tokyo.**

**Slight warning for non-descriptive autoerotic behaviour.**

**Alive And Victorious**

**Chapter 3. Control issues**

Matsuri was sitting on the stand, impatiently waiting for the chuunin exam to start. Twelve participants who made this far were standing in a row in the middle of the fighting ground. Gaara stood first; his red hair was perfectly visible even from that large distance. Matsuri still wondered why he had to take this exam since his skills were those of an experienced jounin and he had led many missions as a captain even though he was still a genin.

"Formalities," he had said to her.

As for now those formalities made other participants almost wet their pants with fear. When they began to pick the numbers from the box which examiner was holding, some of them looked like they were sticking their hands into the sandworm's mouth.

Matsuri sighed heavily. Even if she had been Gaara's student for six months and continuously worked over people to change their minds about her teacher, this task was still far from completing. The villagers' distrust was deep-rooted and strong. They hadn't been expressing it earlier due to the terror, but now, when the fear subsided, suppressed hatred began to surface. The only good thing in all of this was the indirect acknowledgment of the change in Gaara's personality.

If Matsuri was a genin already, she would gladly fight him during the exam. She knew there was no reason to be afraid. Her sensei fought with her many times and his attacks were always carefully measured to gain the upper hand but not to crush her. If they took the exam together it would still be the same and Gaara would have won, but Matsuri wouldn't care the slightest bit.

The randomization ended and participants were brought in pairs. The genin standing next to Gaara looked like he was positively sick and about to faint, even if he was a head taller than his opponent and supposedly twice as heavy.

The first fight began and Matsuri watched it, still pondering. Before Suna's invasion chuunin exams were usually taking place in allied Konoha. Now there were no more joint exams and shinobi from Sunagakure were banned from approaching Konoha, except of envoys and negotiators. Besides, the rumours began to rise that the elders wouldn't let most of the shinobi leave the village at the same time. The council still didn't choose the next Kazekage and the threat of the other villages to assault Suna was still existing.

The fight ended before Matsuri could realize what happened.

"Boring," Sari commented, pouting. "He settled it in no time."

Matsuri nodded absent-mindedly.

To choose the Kage meant to pick up the strongest shinobi from the village. His most important duty was to protect the village from danger, just like Yondaime who was powerful enough to stop raging Shukaku. Matsuri made a mental list including almost every shinobi she knew, and with a certain surprise she concluded none of them was as strong as Gaara.

The girl couldn't imagine him taking this position though. The council would never agree on that, as well as the people from the village. Gaara was too young, too inexperienced in politics, but above all he was still considered to be dangerous and unpredictable.

Matsuri saddened a bit. She still couldn't understand how the Yondaime Kazekage could allow for such a horrible thing happen to his child. He was the Kazekage, moreover Gaara's father and for some reason he let his son suffer. Matsuri decided she would ask her teacher about it someday. Maybe in a year. Maybe in two.

Sari interrupted her musings, leaning forward and exclaiming. "Look, look!"

Matsuri glanced at the arena where Gaara was striding towards the centre with his usual slow pace. His opponent didn't move an inch. Instead he whispered something to the proctor who nodded and waved his hand in Gaara's direction.

"The winner is Gaara!"

The stands rustled with whispers. The boy obviously let Gaara win by default. Matsuri sighed and sank into the seat while her sensei disappeared in the cloud of the sand dust.

She remembered vividly when she wished him luck before the exam. He made the puzzling face then and Matsuri couldn't figure out what he was thinking. Now she knew that he was perfectly aware that all his opponents will let him win by default.

And he wasn't happy about it.

o0o0o0o

Kankurou adjusted the straps fastening the puppets to his back. He felt regret he didn't have time to perfect manipulating Sanshōuo but fighting while using three puppets was still beyond his power. Not that the third puppet would change the outcome of the upcoming fight. Kankurou knew already who would be the victor but he wished he could keep up with his brother long enough not to hurt his pride too much.

The puppeteer glanced at Gaara. The redhead was walking downstairs and the other genins eagerly stepped aside. Kankurou thought to himself that the fate had a strange sense of humour, making the short, delicately looking boy the reason of the fear of the entire village. He chuckled inwardly, remembering his two students talking about Gaara and Matsuri, unaware that he could hear them. According to their words, Matsuri picked Gaara to teach her because she considered him to be the least intimidating from three siblings. Kankurou still didn't know how it was possible that Matsuri was ignorant about Gaara but in this case the saying "ignorance is bliss" was very apt. The girl's effort to make villagers see his younger brother in a different light began to pay off and the people slowly started to accept the fact that Gaara had changed for the better. The puppeteer was very grateful to Matsuri and, even if she didn't know about it, was willing to help her in any matter.

The puppeteer let the long exhalation through his nose and made for the arena. It was sure Gaara would kick his ass but Kankurou still hoped for his inevitable defeat not to be very spectacular.

If Kankurou wasn't his last opponent, Gaara would probably make a chuunin by default, so the puppeteer was partly happy that they would face each other instead. Partly – that was the key word.

o0o0o0o

Kankurou went to the infirmary to have his minor wounds tended and Gaara was waiting for his older brother when he saw Matsuri running towards him.

"Congratulations, Gaara-sensei!" she exclaimed, bringing herself to a halt just in front of him, with a huge happy grin adorning her lips. "You're the chuunin now!"

He nodded in acknowledgment, glad that the exam was over. From the very beginning he claimed that if he would participate in the exam the other candidates would panic but the council stubbornly insisted on him to take the exam to get the rank.

„This is my friend, Sari," Matsuri uttered cheerfully. Gaara glanced at the said girl who was timidly hiding behind his student's back. Matsuri turned to her and waved at her, calling. „Sari, come on!" Then she looked back at him. „She really wanted to meet you, sensei."

Gaara could see that the shinobi standing near were observing them with curiosity. He wondered if the girls schemed all of it together or Matsuri's friend genuinely wanted to meet him. If it was the latter, the redhead couldn't figure her reasons at all. Even if he remembered her face only vaguely, he was still certain she lived in Sunagakure. Therefore she had to be aware of his past. Maybe she was even one of the people who were speaking "things" to Matsuri.

The long-haired girl approached them shyly. She didn't look avid for the sensation. In her eyes he could spot only anxiety and interest.

"Gaara-sensei, this is Sari, my best friend," Matsuri introduced her and Gaara nodded. Sari's bashful smile grew wider. "Sari, this is Gaara-sensei I told you about."

Sari nodded too, still eyeing him curiously.

"They let you win two rounds by default, this is so boring!" Matsuri grimaced hilariously. "But Kankurou-san faced you bravely, didn't he?" The girl sank in her thoughts and before Gaara or Sari could comment on her words, she furrowed. "Gaara-sensei," she opened, "Tell me, have you ever been defeated by anyone?"

Sari glanced at her friend, apparently frightened. "Matsuri!" she whispered reproachingly.

"What?" Matsuri gazed at her innocently and when Sari didn't answer, she turned to Gaara again.

"Sensei?"

The redhead was used already to his student's ways so her blunt question didn't surprise him but Sari still seemed to be positively shocked.

"Once," Gaara said after a while.

"Huh? Once? You mean once in a lifetime?" Matsuri's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. "Wow... I mean..." she stuttered, when Gaara nodded. "It's amazing..." The girl's face brightened. "Gaara-sensei, you're amazing!" she exclaimed. "Right, Sari?"

Her companion nodded eagerly in agreement. The shinobi scattered around pretended to ignore them but Gaara could see clearly that they'd been listening to every word.

Matsuri stepped back.

"Gaara-sensei, we're going to go now," she said and bowed slightly. "Sorry for bothering you. See you tomorrow on the training ground!"

"Gaara-san, it was nice to meet you," Sari said politely and bowed as well. "Good bye."

The redhead nodded in silence and watched them leaving. Finally his gaze reached the infirmary and to his contentment he could see Kankurou walking out of the place with the dressing on his forehead and his wrist bandaged. Once the puppeteer reached him, he pointed at the girls with his chin.

"And who was that?"

o0o0o0o

Gaara and Kankurou were walking down the main street in the village. For a couple of last weeks they had been extremely busy. The village got many assignments and most of the shinobi were continuously sent on missions. It was a long time since the village received that many assignments and the council was determined to take advantage of it. The village's funds were really low and needed immediate support.

For those weeks Gaara couldn't see Matsuri at all. He had no time for it, just like his siblings didn't have time for their own students. It made Kankurou happy, but Temari used to grumble at her students going to forget most of what she had taught them. It turned out that Sari, an enterprising girl as she was, solved that problem quite cleverly. She gathered all the students and interviewed them about who was best at which field; after that they had been asked to instruct the others.

"They're managing rather nicely without us," Temari had commented and Gaara couldn't guess if she was glad or annoyed.

The day before they had been endowed with two days off duty and they could rest, but just after a few hours of sitting at home the initial contentment quickly turned into boredom. Kankurou and Temari, apparently frustrated by the lack of an adrenaline, began to argue, while Gaara discovered that his urge for being alone started to increase with a rapid pace. So their bonding time ended with the three of them leaving an empty house behind. Temari made for the training ground while her brothers decided to take a walk.

They've been just walking down the shopping district when Gaara spotted a familiar girl figure in a crowd. She was carrying a large box in her outstretched hands and carefully putting her steps. When she noticed them, her eyes widened with an astonishment.

"Gaara-san," she greeted him. "Ohayo."

The redhead nodded silently, irked with Kankurou elbowing him in the ribs.

"Sari," Gaara uttered. "This is my brother, Kankurou." The puppeteer nodded, and the girl smiled kindly. "Kankurou, this is Sari," Gaara continued. "Matsuri's friend," he added on the second thought.

"May I help you with this box?" Kankurou asked with a sweet voice, reaching for the said box. "It looks heavy."

Gaara curiously watched his manoeuvres.

"No, thank you," Sari said with a smile. "My dad's waiting for me just there."

The boys looked back to see a man standing next to the one of the stalls. He slanted a glance at them, his lips pursed, and waved at Sari with an impatient gesture.

"I have to go," the girl winced a bit. "See you soon, Gaara-san. Kankurou-san." She nodded and made for her father, still managing not to lose her balance.

The puppeteer sighed.

"No luck. Such a pretty girl though, don't you think? Temari's student if I'm not mistaken. Where did you meet her?"

Gaara shrugged and stepped forward.

"Matsuri introduced her to me after the chuunin exam."

"Huh? I don't remember."

"You were in the infirmary then."

Kankurou's features reflected a quick realization.

"Of course," he said and nodded. "No wonder I couldn't recognize her. I've seen only her back then." He raised his arms and put them at the back of his head with a heavy sigh tearing out of his chest. "Man, what a damn life. We don't even have a time to date nice girls."

Gaara glanced at his brother without a word. Kankurou was often expressing his willingness to date girls but never did anything about that. All that he was doing was complaining about the lack of time.

"And what do you think about her?" the puppeteer asked.

"About who?" Gaara said, surprised.

"About that Sari, of course."

The redhead pondered for a time before he gave his answer..

"I don't know her at all—"

"I'm not asking about that," Kankurou interrupted. "Do you like her?"

Gaara shrugged again because he didn't know what to say. In opposite to Kankurou, he never deliberated upon unknown girls' looks.

"No?" the puppeteer pressed. "Maybe someone else? Maybe Matsuri?"

Gaara glanced at him wordlessly.

"So it's Matsuri after all!" Kankurou guessed, his eyebrows raising, and chuckled shortly. "Not my type. You can date her if you want."

The feeling that he was losing control over the conversation sparked within Gaara and increased to the point where he narrowed his eyes and drawled with a low voice. "Kankurou?"

"Huh?" the puppeteer cast a quick glance at his younger brother and laughed nervously at his expression, raising his hands with a defensive gesture.

"I don't plan to date Matsuri nor anyone else. Do you understand?" Gaara drawled. The last word sounded quite menacing.

"Okay, okay!" Kankurou exclaimed. "I was just asking!"

Gaara crossed his arms upon his chest, even if it was not the most comfortable position while still walking, and was quickly lost in his thoughts. Until now he was just too absorbed with pursuing his goal: gaining villagers' acceptance and taking a Kazekage's seat in the further prospect, to be concerned about his social life, or rather the lack of it. All his thoughts were focused on the path he had decided to walk and it was his only dream. The dream which – he was certain of it – he was able to make true.

He had never spared a single thought for girls. He didn't even know if he found the concept of dating endearing or rather annoying. But even if he did... Well, Gaara had learned that lesson long ago.

Do not yearn for what you can't have.

o0o0o0o

Matsuri wiped the sweat from her forehead. She was tired. Exhausted even. Her teacher wasn't going easy on her. Each time she was beginning to think she was growing better, stronger, faster, he'd been attacking her with techniques on even higher level, and Matsuri couldn't help but stare in awe at those power. Yes, she had known from the very beginning there was a difference between them – but she didn't have a slightest idea, how enormous it was.

Gaara approached her when she was still trying to catch her breath, with her hands supported on her knees. She raised her head, looked at him and slowly pulled herself to a standing position. When she had met him for the first time they had been the same height, but as the months went by he slowly started to grow taller than her.

He put his hand inside the pouch, the action interrupting her musings, and took out the hitai-ate with Sunagakure's symbol carved on it.

"Matsuri," he uttered, "You're a genin starting from today. Here you are." He outstretched his arm, handing her the protector. Matsuri didn't take it; she only gaped at it with her eyes widened. Finally she gazed at her sensei's face. "You have a right to wear it now," Gaara added and repeated the gesture. "In Konohagakure they have a ceremony to give hitai-ate to new genins. In Suna there is no such thing; it's teacher's resposibility to give his student the hitai-ate."

Matsuri carefully reached for the band and unfolded it, unable to choke out a word. The redhead looked like he was confused by the prolonging silence.

"From now on you're a shinobi," he announced seriously. "Prepare yourself for being assigned a mission at any time."

"Sensei, I— Thank you!" the girl beamed and made a move like she wanted to throw her arms around his neck but she immediately stopped herself. With a nervous giggle she tied the protector around her neck like a choker. "Gaara-sensei..." she said quite grimly. "I... Uh, I mean..." she stuttered. "I don't want to question your decision, but... is it not too early? As far as I remember, students from Konoha attend the Academy for four years before they become genins. And I'm training under you for only seven months..."

"That's true," Gaara answered. "If it was up only to me, I would wait for the next seven months at least."

Matsuri glanced at him curiously and, when he didn't continue, she pressed:

"What do you mean?"

"The council puts the pressure upon us," he explained, "to promote as many new genins as we can." Seeing her face, he added hastily. "I think you're ready to go on simple D-ranked missions. It works on your favour that we have one-on-one trainings."

The girl giggled. "They should have known better when they had chosen Temari-san or Kankurou-san!"

He cast a questioning look at her.

"Nobody wanted you to teach them," Matsuri expounded, taking a mockingly superior expression, "but now, when they have enough of Temari-san's caustic remarks or Kankurou-san' impatience—" she broke off and flushed. "Gaara-sensei, I'm sorry. I didn't want to badmouth your siblings."

The redhead nodded, not looking offended, and Matsuri took a deep breath and resumed speaking.

"I mean that some of them begin to regret not choosing you for the instructor. Poor ones, they don't have luck." Suddenly the girl gazed at him gravely. "Sensei..." she said uncertainly. "What about our training?"

"We definitely won't be able to train together as often as before," he answered and Matsuri nodded absent-mindedly. It was quite obvious. Now, when she had become a genin, they would be very busy, both of them. She would have to train alone.

"Yes, we will have missions..." She beamed a smile at him. "Will we go on missions together?"

He shook his head slowly. "I don't think so."

The girl sighed. She should have been expecting that. He was a chuunin after all, for a long time being assigned difficult missions where there was no need for such a callow genin like her. Well, they would train together from time to time, maybe it'd be sufficient. She would have to work by herself to get even more skills and strength.

Matsuri lowered her head and happily watched the protector hanging around her neck. She stroked it with her fingertips, thinking about the long road she had been walking since her family had sent her to the hidden village to have become a shinobi. Suddenly an unpleasant thought hit her; what if her relatives would stop giving her money? Being a genin she couldn't expect earning much, at least not that much to make a living.

The girl bit her lower lip. If they would stop helping her, so be it. She couldn't change their minds about that. The amount of money she was getting from them was slender already.

She would just have to cope with it.

o0o0o0o

Gaara was sitting on his bed, staring at the darkness. The moon was full so he tightly curtained his window off; not that it could help if Ichibi had decided to roar. But this night the demon was relatively calm, its chakra quiet like a peaceful lake just under the surface of his host's consciousness.

So why did he feel so restless?

It was not the first time when this particular feeling appeared within him. It had been stuck down his body and mind for quite a long time, but he was ignoring and suppressing it. But this night it was more overwhelming than usual. It had been suffocating him until he couldn't breathe, and pouring the exotic heat into his body.

If he was to choose one word to describe the feeling, it would be a 'tension'.

There was a time when he attributed the tension to the unsatisfied Shukaku's bloodthirst. During full moon nights Bijuu's chakra was pushing against his own rapaciously, aggressively. It had been whispering to him. Tempting him. And he learned how to muffle its enticing voice with his own will, to shift it down into the depths of his consciousness, to bottle it within himself so deep that it could almost drive him crazy. But this night was different. Even though the air was serene, even though the Ichibi seemed to sleep, Gaara still felt more and more restless.

The growing tension started to accumulate down his abdomen. The blood pounded in his ears when the hot, pulsating sensation enveloped the troublesome part of his body. Just like every time before he growled impatiently, determined to do something about that – but he didn't know what. During his life he had been observing many people from shadows, and gathered quite an amount of the snippets of information. He had been listening to the obscene jokes of the older shinobi, to mischievious banters of his siblings, to the conversations on the streets. Sometimes during his sleepless nights he could see men and women doing something he couldn't understand then. He only knew they'd been embracing each other, naked, but what was attracting him the most, and in the same time utterly disgusting him, was the expression of affection and devotion on their faces. He knew perfectly well such feelings would never fall to his lot and that was why he hated the cuddling couples from the bottom of his heart. He had been killing them, fast enough not to let them realize what happened. He'd been erasing their love from the world, because in his world there was no place for such feelings.

Intentionally or not, he just got familiar with that side of life and had a certain idea what lovers do and what consequences the said actions can have. It was basic knowledge for every other shinobi, because seduction could be a dangerous weapon. Ninjas have been undergoing a psychological training, how to use their own and other people's sexuality to complete the mission. He has never undergone such a training. No one in their right mind would let him. There was no risk after all anybody would try to seduce a serial killer, a murdering machine. He could still raise the topic with his siblings, but it was out of question.

He had to depend only on himself. He was sure there had to be a way to release that insufferable tension and was determined to discover it.

Gaara slowly slipped his hand into his trousers. With every stroke and pull it felt better and better, forcing the muffled moan to escape his lips. His breathing was ragged and he could feel his heartbeat growing from steady to frantic.

He could never imagine he could make himself feel so good.

The quiet, constant rustle absorbed his attention. Gaara opened his eyes and froze. For a moment such terror overwhelmed him that he literally couldn't move even a finger.

Something was moving in the darkness, slowly, tardily. The narrow spirals danced above the floor only to fall down inertly onto it. He recognized that whisper at once. He knew it as well as the sound of the beating of his own heart.

It was his sand.

The redhead pulled the hand back and glanced at the corner of the room. The gourd looked like a pale spot in the dark, and the sand was pouring from it in cascades like water. To his bewilderment, Gaara couldn't sense any disturbance. His own chakra was unstable from intense emotions but Shukaku's energy was still absolutely motionless; both chakras were in perfect equilibrium. So why did the sand...?

The longer Gaara pondered, the weaker sand's movements were. When his heartbeat had become even and his chakra had stabilised itself completely, the sand on the floor didn't shift anymore.

The redhead licked his dry lips, closed his eyes and resumed his previous ministrations. The sand reacted again but this time Gaara was aware of the reason of its movements, so he didn't stop. It felt too wonderful. The outside world seemed to disappear behind the ecstatic veil, until the only things he knew were his thumping heart and rapid breathing.

He felt so good.

He felt tipsy, even if he never drank in his life.

He felt mesmerised.

He felt like he was starting to lose control.

The redhead vehemently pulled his hand back and dropped onto the bed, panting and trembling. Losing control was too high price to pay for the upcoming release. He didn't like to lose control. He didn't want to lose control. He swore to himself he would never, ever lose it again, that he would go insane first from his pent-up feelings, from the terrible memories kept at bay with his will, from Shukaku's assaults on his integrity, than he would lose control once more.

This sensation was too much like letting go, and he couldn't let go. But... But the paralyzing mist, which had been enveloping his mind until all his rational thoughts faded away and he didn't know anymore who he was... It felt so _good_. His thoughts were scattering like a fistful of sand thrown on the wind... and what would left would be a pure delight.

Gaara decided that losing control was sometimes not so bad at all.

o0o0o0o

Matsuri was getting closer and closer to Sunagakure's gate. Yaoki, the captain of the mission, was walking in front of her and next to her other genins were going. They had just finished their first mission and could finally go back to the village. Matsuri wasn't particularly happy, just like others, but she wasn't expressing it aloud like her friends.

"If every mission looks like that, I will get bored to death," Darui groaned again. "I'm not cut to be a babysitter!"

"But it was Matsuri who was looking after them," Yakku commented. "You only had to herd the livestock."

"Yeah, but what would have been if Matsuri wasn't with us?" Darui whined, frustrated.

The girl watched her friend with an interest and astonishment. Until now Darui was always rather reserved. He was not talking much and he particularly wasn't complaining in such manner. However their whimpers were completely ignored by the captain. He said to them before: "A mission is a mission. You get an assignment and carry it on as best as you can. No fussing, no picking. This is how shinobi's life goes."

Darui and Yakku only snarled at his words, but didn't look convinced. Soon they'd begun to grumble again. Matsuri agreed with them, but in her opinion such whining meant lack of professionalism. True, she expected something different from her first mission but she didn't think expressing her disappointment was a proper behaviour for a rookie genin.

When Darui's complaints grew louder and more bothersome, she decided to break it off.

"Gaara-sensei has never had a D-ranked mission," she stated, fully aware she's been throwing a firecracker.

"Huh?" Darui gaped with his mouth open, and Yakku snorted under his nose. Yaoki eyed her with an unreadable expression.

"Gaara-sensei this, Gaara-sensei that," Yakku sneered. "You can't even bear a few hours without talking about him. You sure you don't have a soft spot for him?"

"Are you jealous or what?" Matsuri answered, smirking, and to her bewilderment she noticed a slight flush creeping her friend's cheeks. Other genins let out the suppressed laughter.

"Forget it," Darui interjected, scanning Matsuri's face intensely. "How's it possible he has been never assigned to a D-ranked mission?"

"Because he is Gaara-sama," Yaoki uttered and genins glanced at him, surprised. Matsuri was the one most surprised since she had never heard before someone talking about her sensei with such obvious respect.

"Yaoki-san, what do you mean?" she asked, her tone quiet. The gate and the guards were too close to speak carefreely of those matters.

The young captain sent her an incomprehensible look.

"Since you're his student you should have known." Matsuri made a disoriented face and Yaoki continued. "He might have officially become chuunin not so long ago, but the demon sealed inside him gives him the power to defeat even the strongest jounins from our village."

Genins mutely deliberated over his words. Matsuri remembered the unfortunate joint mission with Konoha, when Gaara had been attacked by the ANBU assassination squad. Yaoki had been on that mission as well.

"Even ANBU are not a threat for him," she said quietly. The captain sent her an intense look and nodded.

"He would have been mad if he had been assigned to complete such a trivial task," he said.

They entered the village's gate at last. The sun's burning rays weren't reaching here and the air was considerately cooler than in an open desert. They passed by a group of shinobi heading for the mission and smiled briefly at the sight of the adobe buildings visible in the gap between cliffs.

"Is the council—" Matsuri uttered and broke off, watching Yaoki uncertainly. Their eyes met and she continued. "Is the council still planning to—"

The young captain furrowed and averted his eyes. "I don't know," he answered, shrugging. "People are still scared."

"But why?" she whispered.

"Even if he has good intentions, the demon still lives within him," Yaoki said with strange tint in his voice. Matsuri, to her bewilderment, recognised it as sadness. "Gaara-sama is very powerful, but this power is too unstable, too unpredictable. If the monster would attempt to break free—"

"Then Gaara-sensei would stop it with his will!" the girl exclaimed, clenching her fists. "Just like before!"

Yaoki and the other genins were apparently curious. Yakku and Darui had already heard that story, but they remained silent.

"He started to transform, but he stopped it," she said, gazing at her companions. "He will never allow it—"

"You've seen it?" Yaoki interrupted, suddenly coming to a halt. „You've seen Shukaku of the Sand?"

Matsuri couldn't help but sigh. He sounded exactly like Sari.

"Yes," she nodded. "The sand wrapped around his head," she gestured with her hands, seeing the disbelief on their faces. "And his arm. And here was such a huge claw..." she finished awkwardly.

"You've been lucky to survive it," Yaoki said and Matsuri shook her head.

"I'm telling you," she said with a pout like she was rebuking insolent children. "Gaara-sensei would never lose control."

o0o0o0o

Gaara was suspicious. _Very_ suspicious.

They ran across the meadow, then plunged into the forest. Half a day until they would reach the desert. He wanted to cross the distance as fast as possible.

Matsuri must have realized eventually he was in a grim mood since she went quiet, only shooting glances at him from the corner of her eye. Her usual optimism and cheerfulness vanished because of his attitude, even if she didn't know the reason. For her it was a normal mission – well, maybe not as normal as always, since she had been sent only with him. It inflicted the honest happiness within her, and the immediately raising suspicions within him.

The councilman who had assigned him the task didn't give away that anything was wrong. Pinned by Gaara's distrustful, questioning look he smoothly announced that due to the lack of the available shinobi there would be only one genin accompanying him during the mission. Simple C-ranked mission, that's all.

However, the old rascal didn't say that particular genin would be Matsuri.

They completed the mission quickly and now were returning to Sunagakure. Gaara's anxiety and suspiciousness were growing in a hasty pace. If the council was planning something bad, now was the perfect chance to carry it on. They wouldn't let them reach the desert, where he would have the advantage, and surely they would try to use Matsuri in some way. Every time when they were resting, Gaara observed his student, wondering if someone was already impersonating her with Henge no Jutsu. But Matsuri was still herself, at least it seemed so. Of course they could try to maintain the illusion for a longer time to put him off guard.

There was still a chance his fears were groundless, but he knew it wasn't the case when he sensed the presence of the other shinobi, hidden amongst the trees.

"Matsuri!" he warned her and she halted at once. She gazed around and her legs seemed to fail when she fell from the tree trunk with a frightened cry. Gaara jumped towards her and cut the chakra thread attached to her foot, but it was too late. The tall, bulky shinobi wearing jounin flak jacket and ANBU mask caught Matsuri and landed on the trunk below. The kunoichi struggled and wriggled in his grasp, and he twisted her left arm behind her back until she cried in a high-pitched voice.

Gaara froze, perfectly aware Matsuri will be the first victim if he would attempt to do anything.

"Surrender," the ANBU commanded loudly. "Or the girl—"

Matsuri raised her head and sought Gaara's eyes, shaking her head. The man holding her twisted her arm even stronger and she drooped, biting her lower lip. Blood trickled down her chin, but her eyes still held an iron determination.

Gaara quickly analysed every aspect of their position, aware that he could depend only on himself. There was no Naruto anywhere to help him this time.

"No!" Matsuri yelled, her voice hoarse and almost unearthly. "No, no, noooo!"

Her shriek echoed through the woods when she jerked her arm. Joints and tendons gave up with an audible crunch and she managed to free her hand from the masked ANBU's grasp. Still screaming, she turned around in a flash, kicking with her knee at shinobi's groin, and threw herself back, with her left arm dangling limply at her side.

Plummeting, she put her hand into her pouch and took something out. Gaara darted towards her to rescue her from hitting the ground, but one of the ANBU was closer and caught Matsuri in the midair. He jumped down on the ground and after short examination shook the lifeless body like a puppet.

"The girl's dead," he announced contemptuously, casting the body aside. "She jabbed at her neck with the poisoned senbon."

Gaara could feel how Ichibi's chakra raged along with the sound of those heartless words, resonating with his own fury and despair. His blood boiled and for a moment he was willing to let Shukaku out, to lose control so they would have known his anger, but his student's innocent face appeared in his mind. She had believed in him. He couldn't betray her trust – even if she wasn't alive any longer.

Gaara strengthened his resolve and forced Shukaku to retreat. The long tendrils of sand raced from the gourd and the hell has been unleashed.

**The end of chapter 3.**

**The next chapter: Paying off the debt**

A/N:

I know there are no sandworms in Narutoverse, but I love "Dune" and I felt like mixing those two universes even if only a bit. (the call of the desert teehee)

In my story ninjas from Sunagakure don't form teams like they do in Konoha so Matsuri, Sari, Darui and Yakku will not always be together on missions.

Ohayo=hello

hitai-ate=forehead protector

Yaoki – Sunagakure ninja, appearing in "Naruto" fillers ep. 182. His rank wasn't given out but he probably wasn't a jounin, like he is in my story, plus he was rather "wimpy and cowardly around Gaara", as they wrote in Naruto Wikia LOL

COMMENTS ARE VERY APPRECIATED.


	4. 4 Paying off the debt

**Beta-reader: RANCHII (thanks a lot!)**

**I wanted to thank those few people who commented on my story. Comments keep writer's juices flowing!**

**© "Naruto" is created and copyrighted by Kishimoto Masashi and owned by Shueisha Publishing Co., Ltd. and TV Tokyo.**

**Enjoy.**

**Alive And Victorious**

**Chapter 4. Paying off the debt**

Kankurou patted his own stomach, nicely full after the hearty supper, and sighed with content. Temari snorted under her nose, watching his blissful expression.

"Okay, you know the rules," she mocked.

The puppeteer glared at her and raised himself from his seat. He began to gather the dirty dishes when he heard the front door creaking. Both siblings froze. The stifled clatter followed the creaking noise, and then they heard someone's weak voice.

Kankurou felt an unpleasant jerk in his chest. Even if he couldn't distinguish the words, he was certain he had just heard his younger brother's voice. But that was impossible. Gaara was on the mission, supposedly coming back the next evening at the earliest.

The puppeteer glanced at Temari and carefully put the dishes down on the table, when Gaara appeared in the doorway, carrying Matsuri's lifeless body on his back. Kankurou gasped, and Temari stepped back, furrowing. Gaara raised his eyes at them, glassy, feverish eyes, unnaturally large and ghostly-looking in that pale face covered with drops of sweat.

"Kankurou... help me..." the redhead panted, his legs visibly wobbling.

The siblings jumped towards him. Kankurou couldn't help but feel amazed after hearing for the first time the words _Help me_ coming from his brother's mouth.

Temari gently supported Matsuri's limp body and turned her to see the girl's face. Matsuri's eyes were closed, her skin pale with the cold sweat breaking out. Her breathing was dangerously slow and she choked, when the older girl touched her throat.

"Gaara!" Temari exclaimed when Kankurou was trying to unstrap the gourd from Gaara's back. "She needs to be treated immediately!"

"I—I know," Gaara answered hoarsely, pushing away Kankurou's hand from the straps. "I don't... trust them. I... needed... you. I—"

He went silent. The puppeteer moved his finger along his brother's forehead and licked the thick sweat, wincing.

"Man, you need to go to the hospital too. I don't think I have ever seen someone dehydrated to that extent. It's a miracle you can stand at all!"

He turned to Temari, who darted towards her room without any delay. She came back quickly, placing the fan on her back and fastening the pouch to her belt. Gaara and Kankurou watched her lifting the unconscious girl. The puppeteer helped Gaara lean against the wall. The tiny ribbons of sand were snaking up the redhead's calves as if attempting to cover his body. Kankurou frowned and cast a questioning look at his brother.

"It's... Shukaku..." Gaara explained quietly, his eyes half-lidded. "He's... trying to—"

_What a mess_, the puppeteer thought, nodding.

"Go," he said to Temari. "I'll take my puppets and we'll be there in no time."

He ran towards his room, his mind buzzing with tons of questions. What in the hell had happened? His brother was on the simple C-ranked mission with Matsuri. Did the rank suddenly change? Did the mission go wrong? But how? They were not supposed to come back in such condition! Not even mentioning how great their speed must have been to reach the village the day earlier!

Kankurou felt certain suspicions growing within him when he remembered council's attempts to get rid of Gaara. He would know later if it was the case, but there was no time for inquiring. He grabbed Karasu and Kuroari and threw them on his back. He hurried towards the kitchen where Gaara was kneeling on the floor. Kankurou flung his brother's arm over his shoulder, briefly wondering when he saw him in such condition for the last time. _Must've been after fighting Takumi nins..._

They ran out of the house, or rather Kankurou was running, dragging Gaara along. He got a canteen from his pouch and handed it to the redhead.

"Drink," he ordered, "before you collapse."

o0o0o0o

Gaara needed all his willpower not to lose consciousness. His head was spinning, his lips were dry like the desert itself, his muscles flabby. The level of his chakra was dangerously low and Shukaku was determined to take advantage of it. The demon was charging from the inside of Gaara's mind, struggling and howling, and the redhead's skull seemed to split at any time.

He was barely aware they reached the hospital. Kankurou briefly stopped, asking one of the medics about something, but Gaara couldn't understand the words. He dangled inertly over his brother's shoulder, completely focusing on his inner battle with Ichibi. The puppeteer went ahead and they quickly reached the room where apparently Matsuri was being treated. The screen was blocking their view but Temari was standing by the wall, observing whatever was going on at the other side of the screen. She noticed them and nodded. They slowly went inside but the kunoichi stopped them with a wave of her hand.

"They're examining her," she explained shortly.

The other medic nin entered the room and approached Gaara, obviously ready to examine him too. The redhead scowled and moved away. "I'm fine," he growled and turned to his sister. "Temari, what's with her?"

"Still unconscious," fell the answer. "What happened?"

"The senbon," Gaara choked out. "She jabbed herself with it."

The siblings and medic nin stared at him, bewildered.

"Wha—" Kankurou started and immediately broke off at his brother's expression. "Wait, you mean those senbons she has got from me?"

The redhead nodded, forcing himself not to clutch his head with his hands. Kankurou drew a chair toward him and pushed him onto it.

"I administered two full doses of an antidote to her," Gaara panted and shook Kankurou's canteen, listening to the lapping of water inside. Unfortunately, none came. Temari hastily gave him her own canteen and returned to her self-assigned post by the wall.

"This is bad!" Kankurou murmured. "Two doses are not enough in such case!"

"I know," Gaara snarled, frustrated. "But I couldn't dose her with even more of it! It would've killed her!"

The puppeteer put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed – the firm, steady grasp Gaara could put his trust into. The redhead inhaled deeply, glad to have his siblings by his side.

"For how long is she unconscious?" Kankurou asked.

"Thirty hours."

"Oh shit!" the puppeteer released his brother's shoulder and began to pace in circles. "I hope she had started to develop immunity as I instructed her or things will go awful!"

"Gaara," Temari interjected. "Where did it happen?"

"Suigen Forest," the redhead answered wearily. "Yesterday morning."

The puppeteer froze in his steps. Temari gaped.

_"What?"_ they asked in unison.

"I covered the distance in forty hours. I would have done it faster, but I couldn't make it without a rest. And I couldn't use Hyourougan."

"Oh man..." Kankurou whispered. "You're crazy."

"It explains such a serious dehydration," Temari commented dryly. "If you would use the pill in your condition, you'd have died."

The puppeteer stepped towards the screen and Temari gripped his arm, stopping him.

"Don't go there," she warned.

"Hey, if you need to know the poison's ingredients, I can help you!" he called. One of the medical nins showed from behind the screen, holding some papers. Taking advantage of the general commotion in the room, Temari leaned over Gaara and murmured: "What happened?"

"ANBU assassination squad," he wheezed and Temari's eyes widened slightly. "They took her hostage to make me surrender. Matsuri managed to escape and—"

He turned from Temari and his head fell on his chest. Shukaku was attacking him mercilessly and he had to crush demon's will with his own, and he needed all his strength and determination to do that.

He owed it to his student.

o0o0o0o

Gaara walked slowly along the corridor in Kazekage's Tower. He entered the administrative part of the building and headed for the conference room where the council was just debating. He decided to turn directly to them and try to talk some sense into them, or, in case it wouldn't have worked, threaten them.

He shook his head, knowing the threats were out of question even if their last machinations almost got Matsuri killed. He couldn't afford threatening the elders even if he was seeing red just thinking about them. He had to show them he controlled himself and they should rethink his father's idea to get rid of him. He had to prove them it would be more useful for them to have him on their side.

The guard standing at the doorway turned around at the sound of the steps and grew pale when he had seen Sunagakure's most feared monster approaching him but he mustered his courage when he saw the boy was pacing directly towards the conference room.

"You can't go in there," shinobi warned with a trembling voice, instinctively straightening himself. "The council debates right now."

The redhead came to a halt and raised his head, eyeing the taller shinobi. "I know," he answered with a deadly low voice. "That's why I'm here." He moved again and the guard wasn't that stupid to block the door. Instead he escorted Gaara inside. The redhead stopped right after entering the room and looked around, watching the elders. Those who have been facing the door, held their breath and glanced at him, apparently scared. The others began to turn around and one after another were letting out the startled gasps, seeing their guest. Only Ryuusa stayed calm and observed him curiously.

"Honourable elders, excuse me for the interruption, but—" the guard uttered but Gaara waved his hand and the shinobi went silent immediately.

"What is it?" Jouseki said angrily. "We have a meeting here. Why do you interfere?"

The redhead stepped closer and the councilman moved back, raising his hand like he meant to block the hit. Gaara would really like his village's elders were not such despicable bastards. They were mere cowards, cowering fearfully when the would-be victim of their machinations faced them. They were glancing at his gourd like they've been expecting the sand to flow from it at any time.

"I wanted to ask you something," he said, looking at their faces.

Ryuusa nodded slowly.

"Go ahead," he commended.

"How many shinobi are you going to sacrifice before you finally admit you can't kill me?" Gaara shot and the councilmen averted their eyes, shocked by his boldness. Jouseki bit his lip and began to play with his quill.

"You know it is only my good will which prevents this place from becoming a living hell," Gaara said, turning back. His words still seemed to sink in when he approached the doorway in silence and glanced at them above his shoulder. "You could try to win me over to your side, you know," he continued seriously. "Don't you think we could accomplish a lot together?"

With those words he left the room, leaving the council and the guard frozen still, with their jaws dropped.

o0o0o0o

Matsuri opened her eyes slowly. She found herself in an unknown room which clean, white walls and the characteristic smell floating in the air let her guess it was a hospital. She looked around, not raising her head from the pillow, and hissed, when the sudden sting of pain seared through her left shoulder. Memories emerged with the pain; the mission, ANBU, the blackmail. Her inflexible decision to save Gaara even if she had to pay the highest price for it.

She made it. Admittedly, she had thought she was done but then she came back, lying on the moist forest floor, with her sensei kneeling by her side. She could feel he was dosing her with the antidote. She had held her breathe then, having never seen that expression on him before: eyes darkened from hatred and bloodlust, teeth bared in a wolfish grimace, the sand spiralling dangerously at his feet... and blood. The drops of blood on his pale skin, the sticky, red stains on the white sash.

At the sound of her gasp his eyes searched for her face and the hatred faded away, replaced by anxiety and concern.

"Matsuri," he whispered in a wheezing voice. "Are you fine?"

She had shaken her head because she was everything but fine. Her heartbeat was unsteady, her body covered with cold sweat. Every muscle ached like she had been flogged. She began to develop immunity to poison according to Kankurou's instruction, but it could be not enough. She had jabbed herself at the side of the neck, close to the carotid, and the poison had been diffusing fast.

Gaara had taken the second syringe from the pouch and jabbed at her thigh with the needle. The ribbons of sand were still dancing and rippling around him and Matsuri pushed away the thought about what had happened to their fifteen opponents, or more. Had Gaara killed them all?

Her sensei had thrown an empty syringe away and gently lifted her inert body. He wasn't touching her wounded arm, but she cried nonetheless. She had been in so much pain. Her eyes had been burning and the migraine had been becoming unbearable. She was praying only for being put down onto the cool forest floor and wait until the pain would vanish, but Gaara had been dragging her along even though he could positively hear her miserable whimpers. They had been moving very fast. Occasionally, Gaara had been letting her drink from his canteen, but he himself wasn't drinking at all. Matsuri could have felt she was weakening and with the last effort she asked the question bothering her the most. "Did you kill them?"

"Only two," he had said with a strange lilt in his voice.

She had nodded then and drifted into darkness.

Now she awakened in the hospital. It meant her sensei managed to save her. She was so proud of him, and so grateful. She scanned the room more intently and sighed with relief after noticing the characteristic roughness of the adobe surface under the white paint.

She was home.

o0o0o0o

Gaara put his palm on the doorknob, searching for the right words, but he couldn't find any. At the other side of the door, in the hospital room, a person who decided to sacrifice her life for him was lying. In fact if she hadn't been lucky to have him by her side she would have been long gone.

The medics were saying she wasn't in danger anymore. The poison seriously damaged her body but the antidote prevented the worst from happening. Since she had started to develop the immunity in advance, her organism was being able to metabolize the poison quite effectively. What awaited her now were many weeks of the intense rehabilitation to entirely clean her system from the poison and heal the wounded tendons. Few months without missions and training meant great reduction in the physical fitness. She would have to work hard to return to form again.

But the only thing that mattered now was that he managed to save her.

He knocked, waited for the answer and opened the door. Matsuri looked at him when he entered the room, and smiled. It wasn't the smile he knew. There was sadness and resignation in this smile, not like Matsuri at all.

He stopped at her bed and gazed down at her.

"Thank you," he said, looking into her eyes. Matsuri nodded sadly. "Thank you for everything," he repeated, meaning anything she had done for him, for his reputation. The girl sighed deeply and smiled again, more heartily this time.

"How are you?" the redhead asked.

Matsuri raised one shoulder in a half-shrug, like she didn't know what to say.

"I have been better."

"You didn't have to do that," Gaara said softly and she glared at him, obviously annoyed.

"No? What was I supposed to do then? I had to pay off the debt."

Gaara furrowed. He pulled one of the white wooden chairs close to the bed and sat down. Matsuri gripped the edge of the covers, when he looked at her, apparently waiting for the continuation.

"Gaara-sensei, do you remember when Shitenshounin kidnapped me?" the girl inquired and the redhead nodded. Of course he remembered. Such events were rather hard to forget. "You came to help me, even if I was abducted by shinobi powerful enough to dare to challenge _you_," Matsuri explained._ "_And you saved me. Now I saved you. I paid off my debt. So please, don't tell me I didn't have to do that."

Gaara nodded, sunk in his thoughts. He has never been thinking about that incident as the debt Matsuri had to pay off. He had just saved his student. Any teacher would do the same thing. It was natural. He paid the high price for it, but he didn't regret it. It seemed Matsuri's line of reasoning was identical. She just saved her teacher. Any student would do the same thing. It was natural.

She paid very high price for it, but she didn't regret it at all.

o0o0o0o

Matsuri walked slowly towards the tombs. She felt much better now, even if the rehabilitation hadn't finished yet. There were few reasons why she just couldn't wait when she'd be able to train again. The most important reason was the letter from her family. They informed her with great regret that they couldn't afford to support her any longer. Matsuri had never thought about humiliating herself by asking them to change their minds. They didn't care for her at all, and she herself wasn't particularly fond of them as well. She decided to thank them for their previous support and officially offer to give them back the money when she would earn enough to be able to pay the debt. That's why she had to start training as fast as possible, to become chuunin and then jounin. The higher rank meant more difficult missions but also more money. But before she could gain chuunin rank, she had to use the money she managed to save, and it wasn't much.

The girl sighed deeply, approaching her grandfather's gravestone. If he would lived, if her parents would lived, everything would be different. She felt so lonely now, and scared of what the future had up its sleeve for her. She knew she wouldn't get lost. Sunagakure, like other shinobi villages, had the fund for the orphans and shinobi who were disabled. But the thought of using public money raised the shame and discomfort in her.

The grandfather Aoba never wanted her to become a shinobi. He had been always hammering into her head how hard and thankless such a life was. His dream had been for his little granddaughter to marry a nice young man – not shinobi in any case – and give birth to many children he could nurture and spoil. When Matsuri could see him just after the mission, tired and wounded, she agreed with his wishes. But sometimes, when she could watch him training, when she could listen to the stories about big citites, weird people and green places where there were rivers flowing and the rain was falling, then she had been really thinking shinobi's life was so exciting.

Then the grandfather died. She could vividly remember the night when she peeped on him, watching him taking on his flak jacket and carefully checking on his ninja weapons. In the dim moonlight she could see his hands were shaking and his face was covered with sweat. A sudden realization hit her then – her grandfather was scared almost to death. He licked his lips and took a deep breath, and she watched with her heart pounding his tall figure leaving the house and disappearing into the night.

She hadn't seen him ever again.

He had been burned like other Suna shinobi and buried fast, like his death was something shameful. During the burial ceremony Matsuri's father was eyeing the gravestone with his lips pursed. Her mother was weeping, hiding her face in her hands. The family had gone back home, not exchanging even one word, and hastily packed their belongings. A week later they had left the village without looking back.

**The end of the chapter 4.**

**The next chapter: The troublesome teacher**

A/N.

Suigen=source of the river, fountainhead

Suigen Forest - the place not existing in Narutoverse, created by me for this fic's purposes

Hyourougan=military rations pills

COMMENTS ARE VERY APPRECIATED.


	5. 5 The troublesome teacher

**Beta-reader: RANCHII (thanks a lot!)**

**I wanted to thank those few people who commented on my story. Comments keep writer's juices flowing!**

**© "Naruto" is created and copyrighted by Kishimoto Masashi and owned by Shueisha Publishing Co., Ltd. and Studio Pierrot.**

**Alive And Victorious**

**Chapter 5. The troublesome teacher**

Matsuri stood on the training ground, balancing a kunai in her hand. She slowly raised her arm and threw the weapon at the wooden pole. Kunai plunged into it but far from the spot she was aiming at. She didn't forget how to do that but her weakened body couldn't adjust. She was rapidly getting tired from repeating the same moves again and again.

The kunoichi pulled the kunai out of the wood and started to hit the pole with the side of her hand. Her skin wore through quickly and the red stains appeared on the spot she was hitting. When the pain became hard to endure, Matsuri switched to kicking, but it wasn't too long when she had to stop and find her refuge in the shadow under the stone wall. She sat on the sand, breathing heavily and biting her lips. _I'm so weak!_ she thought desperately. _Four months of being immobilised and I have to start almost from the beginning!_

The painful throbbing in her chest grew unbearable and the girl began to weep. How was she supposed to live like a ninja in this condition, to go on missions? She needed to feel she was self-reliant, able to live without anyone's support, and above all she needed money!

Matsuri rubbed her eyes with the fist and sniffed a couple of times. She inhaled deeply, trying to level her breathing and supress the despair raising within her. When she heard someone's footsteps scrunching on the sand, she hastily attempted to force a smile onto her face. Licking her lips, she glanced up at the person who came to a halt in front of her.

It was Gaara. He was eyeing her calmly but Matsuri could feel the uncertainty in him and cursed herself for crying. She didn't want him to see her tears. He could have thought she regretted what she had done. Of course, he would be wrong, because if Matsuri could turn back time, she would do exactly the same thing.

He settled himself on the sand next to her. Matsuri was still smiling, even if she knew her smile was probably unconvincing, plus her cheeks were stained with tears.

"Matsuri," Gaara uttered without any opening, "I want to tell you a story."

The girl's eyes widened. Her sensei, being so taciturn person as he was, was going to tell her _a story_?

She could only stutter: "Y-yes, Gaara-sensei." The redhead cast a short glance at her and averted his eyes, looking into space.

"Almost three years ago I fought one of the Konoha ninjas. His name was Rock Lee. During that fight I completely crushed his left arm and leg," Gaara said, a tint of guilt lingering in his voice. Matsuri put her hand on her mouth. She thought she had heard that name before... Rock Lee... Hadn't he been amongst other Konoha genins, who came to help Gaara during the Shitenshounin incident? She could barely remember Lee since most of her attention had been drawn to the noisy blonde, dressed in orange, who tried to protect Gaara with such determination, even if he himself was wounded and exhausted. Naruto, that was his name.

"When I had met him many months later, he was still suffering from the effects of that fight," Gaara continued. "He had been told he couldn't be a shinobi anymore. From what I had learnt he had almost broken but he never gave up." He looked seriously at his student. "Do you know how the story ends?"

Matsuri started to ponder. If she remembered correctly, that Lee guy didn't look seriously injured during the battle. It meant he had to return to his best form somehow. The girl sighed with relief at the thought. If Gaara wounded his opponent to that extent it must have meant he had been still living in disregard for human life then and killing without the second thought. Matsuri didn't want to deliberate over such things and hoped she would never have to meet other victims of her sensei.

She raised her eyes and after noticing Gaara's intense look she quickly smiled and nodded.

"Thank you, sensei," she said, trying to brush the back of his palm with her fingertips. The redhead flinched and seemed to be about moving away. Matsuri sent him another smile, this time the apologetic one, and hugged her knees with her arms, gazing into space. She had been a coward. Her teacher had hurt so many people and she couldn't just turn away from that truth. She didn't know any reason why would he become such a cruel, heartless murderer and why would he stop being one. Sometimes she thought she wanted to discover all those secrets, to understand what he was hiding behind that reserved, introverted attitude but on the other hand she wasn't sure she really wanted to hear about his crimes from his own lips. The villagers told her enough already.

The girl sighed quietly, her eyes returning to Gaara's face. She spent so much time with him and she still couldn't honestly say they were friends but at least she learnt how to read him. She knew he couldn't be born a killer, he had to become one, and she knew his soul had been tortured before he began to kill. She couldn't say how she could know it but she was absolutely certain her intuition was right.

The redhead turned his head and glanced at her. Matsuri didn't avert her eyes. She couldn't speak frankly with him and she couldn't touch him. People could kick him while fighting, or punch him (at least give a try) but they couldn't touch him and Matsuri could only try to speak with her eyes. She gazed straight into his eyes and smiled, thinking intensely about how much grateful she was, how much proud of him, how much she believed in him and how much she wanted he would let her befriend him.

He answered with a look so intense that Matsuri couldn't help but blink. Soon it became unbearable and she had to avert her eyes. He was just staring at her!

No, it was impossible. He couldn't be staring. He was Sabaku no Gaara, the one above such things.

She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. He was still staring!

"Gaara-sensei..." she began timidly. "What is it? Do I have something on my face?"

The redhead shook his head and stood up.

"Good luck," he said without looking at her and paced away. Matsuri gazed after him, nonplussed. Actually she didn't want him to go but on the other hand it would be better for her if anyone wouldn't witness her pathetic attempts at training.

Sighing, the girl pulled herself to a standing position and reached into her pouch, grabbing a few shurikens.

o0o0o0o0o

Matsuri was sitting by her window, drinking water. On the table next to her there was an empty container; the instant ramen was the only food she could afford lately. She just came back from the mission but volunteered for the next mission already since she really needed money. Her family stopped supporting her; they also didn't send any letter answering her offer to pay off her debt. Matsuri thought they ultimately cut the bond and she decided to contact them again only when she would need no support. Now she bore a slight grudge against them and was worried about her own condition so there was no way she could write cheerful letters to them.

Somebody knocked at the door. Matsuri put the mug away and opened the door. Behind it Sari was waiting, holding a package wrapped in the linen cloth.

"Hi, can I come in?" she asked but Matsuri moved aside already and waved at her friend to come inside. Sari resolutely stepped into her friend's room (she just felt like home here) and put the package on the table. "How was the mission?" she turned to Matsuri, who was watching the mysterious parcel with astonishment.

"Well, thanks, well enough even though I'm completely worn out."

"And no wonder," Sari commented and approached the countertop where the container with the filtered water was placed. The girl poured some water into the mug and took a sip. "It was your first mission for about... six months?"

Matsuri nodded and pointed at the package.

"And what is it?"

"It's for you," Sari announced and unwrapped the cloth, revealing the basket filled with the anpan buns. "I baked them with my mom."

Matsuri watched her friend agape since Sari had been never making such presents for her.

"Thank you very much but—"

"You need to eat better food. My mom also asked you for a dinner the day after tomorrow."

Matsuri felt herself blushing. Did her friends discover she didn't have money?

"Sari, I—"

The long-haired girl hastily raised her hand like she wanted to silence her friend.

"This is not for free," she said, grinning. "You will do me a favour in exchange."

"Of course," Matsuri bit her lip impatiently. "What can I do for you?'

Sari took a bun and chewed on it, then glanced at her friend, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Tell me, what kind of girls your sensei likes?"

Matsuri burst out with laughter but quickly controlled herself, staring at Sari with widened eyes. The long-haired girl huffed a bit.

"I'm sorry, I— You surprised me with that, uh, question..." Matsuri stuttered. "Sari, you... you're talking seriously?"

Sari nodded in silence. Matsuri digested the surprising news for a short time and began to ponder.

"I don't know," she answered in a serious tone. "Really, I don't know."

Her friend rolled her eyes.

"Oh come on. You've spent so much time with him."

"But we weren't talking about his preferences!"

"You didn't have to talk! Didn't you notice what kind of girls attracts his attention?"

"Sari, I can't help you with this matter, I really can't. He doesn't pay attention to—"

"Impossible," Sari answered with irritation. "All guys do."

Matsuri started to ponder again. She took the bun from the basket and rolled it in her hand.

"Maybe," she said at last, biting the food. "But not him."

Pouting, Sari sat down on a chair and crossed her arms on her chest.

"You want him for yourself, don't you?" she shot and Matsuri choked. Her face became red all over, she coughed heavily and for a good few minutes she wasn't able to utter a word.

"What?" she exclaimed at last. "What are you talking about?"

"You like him," Sari explained grimly.

"No I don't!" Matsuri exploded, her cheeks still reddened. "You can have him if you want!"

"Then please help me," Sari said in an imploring voice.

Matsuri sat down as well and sighed deeply. She really didn't have the tiniest idea in what kind of girls Gaara was interested. Moreover, she didn't know if he was interested in girls at all but she had to devise something for Sari's sake.

"You know..." she began slowly. "Gaara-sensei is a very reserved person. It's very hard to get close to him. That's why you need the long-standing plan if you want him to trust you, at least I think so. You have to know it will take a really long time. He..." the girl ceased speaking and bit her lip, lost in her thoughts, until she continued. "He needs to know you accept him regardless of his past... well, I suppose so. Um, I—" she sighed again. "Sari, please understand that I don't know him too well. He is the most withdrawn person you can imagine. It seems to me he is not interested in looks only, I've never noticed him watching the pretty girls like other guys do. Well, at least the appearances is not the most important for him since..." her voice softened. "He needs someone he can trust. You know... sometimes I think he had been betrayed in the past. The person he loved hurt him. I don't know why I think so but—"

"As for the person who declared not to know him well you seem to perfectly understand him," Sari sneered and Matsuri flinched, flushing.

"Sari, those are only my suppositions... my intuition. I never talked with him about such things. We're not friends."

"But you want to be his friend?"

Matsuri rolled her eyes.

"I'm only trying to help you!"

"Fine, fine," Sari mitigated her friend. "Please continue."

The other girl growled and shook her head.

"If you want to pick him up, do not try any tricks working on most guys. You will only annoy him. Do not let him know you fancy him. Act like you only wanted to make friends. Do not ask for anything personal."

Matsuri broke off for a second, having a strange feeling she wasn't the best matchmaker in the world. She had been just asked to introduce the guidelines to her friend on how to pick up Sabaku no Gaara, no more no less! If he would ever learn about it...

Watching Sari who was nodding eagerly, obviously memorising each and every word, Matsuri suppressed the sigh. "Gaara-sensei cares deeply about the condition of the village and you have to prove you do too," she finished.

"And you think it will be enough?"

"How can I know?" Matsuri shrugged, eating at the anpan. "But it seems to me it would be a very good opening."  
"Matsuri, you know what?" Sari said with a strange lilt in her voice. "If it's anything you need to pick him up, I believe you've already made greater progress than I ever could."

o0o0o0o

Matsuri collapsed on the sand near the stone wall, panting. Shadowed from the burning rays of the sun, she reached for her canteen and began to drink greedily. Gaara settled himself next to her and also sipped water but in opposite to her he didn't look very tired. They've been practicing for a couple of hours and the heat was becoming more and more nagging. Matsuri could almost feel her skin tanning but Gaara still looked like he spent last few years in the cellar, never seeing the light of the day.

After her last conversation with Sari, Matsuri started to watch her sensei critically. Sari called him 'cute' once and 'handsome' on the other day, and Matsuri decided she had to establish her own opinion on the topic. What she was mostly sure of was that he changed much since the time she had met him. During that year he had become taller (even though he was still short in comparison to his peers), stronger and more muscular. Matsuri had become taller as well but she wasn't growing quickly enough to catch up with him. His hips were still narrow while hers were growing wider and his chest was broader yet still flat while her own... well, Matsuri still wasn't sure if she liked the bulges under her shirt or not but they were certainly the hindrance when it came to whipping the jouhyou.

Both of them changed so much, it was apparent. She could feel it vividly during their rare trainings, and today she could feel it stronger than ever.

Musing in silence, the kunoichi took another sip of water. This training was different than other ones. It has been... odd. Whenever they've been practicing taijutsu, Gaara was always standing motionless, letting her punch and kick him. Not that she could ever land even one hit on him; the sand was always getting in the way. Sometimes he was attacking her but it had never been the full contact fight... until today. At first Matsuri was quite surprised by the strangles, chokeholds, joint locks and pinning holds that suddenly rained down upon her but she felt no fear. The more fighting techniques the better. He was a bit too hard on her and she could ask for mercy of course but what would she do if any other shinobi attacked her? She could clearly recall the encounter with ANBU assassins. Asking them for mercy wasn't the option, was it? She just had to deal with it.

She could sense that Gaara wasn't acting like himself during the training but she was pushing that thought away. Only when he gripped her and threw her at the ground, straddling her and pinning her hands above her head, the sting of the real fear stabbed at her chest. Under her uncertain, apprehensive gaze he seemed to regain his senses and let her go, announcing the break. Now they were sitting in the shadow the stone wall was casting and Matsuri wasn't sure if she ever wanted to continue.

She slanted a glance at her teacher who seemed to be oblivious to her uncertainties. He was calmly looking at something distant and Matsuri felt confused. What if she was only imagining things? What if he only decided there was no handicap for her anymore? She has never been seriously injured during any of their trainings. Yes, she would like him to inform her first what he was going to do but maybe he was only testing her determination?

Her breathing was level already and she quenched her thirst; there was no reason to procrastinate. Matsuri took a deep breath and braced herself up for the inevitable.

"Sensei," she spoke timidly. "Maybe we should continue...?"

o0o0o0o

Gaara was walking down the corridor when he heard the voices. It seemed a few people were talking loudly, and one of them at least was very angry.

"All of them only want to gather as much as they can! They're unscrupulously taking advantage of the situation!"

Gaara quietly stopped, recognizing Baki's voice.

"You said earlier they've already accepted it," someone answered. The redhead's curiosity was immediately picked when he heard his older brother's voice.

"Yes, they have!" Baki raged. "They know perfectly well they have no other choice than to accept him taking the position! That's why they're trying to delay. Kazekage's absence made them going definitely too far!"

Gaara held his breath. He knew he shouldn't eavesdrop but he just had to know what they were going to say.

"What are their arguments then?" Kankurou asked in a quieter tone.

"Oh, always the same! He's too young, too inexperienced, people don't trust him..."

"As for the youth, it might be true, but I don't think so. As for the inexperience, it doesn't matter since he's more devoted to the village than all of them together. As for the trust—"

"I know," Baki interrupted. "The villagers can see what is going on. Even if they're still afraid, they're trying to accept him. At least some of them."

Gaara took a few steps back since he was almost sure who they were talking about. He just wanted to hear the rest and deliberate over it in solitude. The strange warm feeling began to expand in his chest but he suppressed it until he could be absolutely certain what Baki meant.

"They know they won't be able to manipulate him. Besides, Gaara had seen too many mistakes the previous Kazekage had made not to repeat them," Baki said and the redhead's heart pounded. Was his dream about to fulfil faster than he expected? Gaara knew his former teacher respected him and supported his efforts to gain people's acceptance but he would have never guessed that Baki considered him to be the best candidate for Kazekage's position. It was a surprising and encouraging thought.

The redhead headed forward, shuffling his sandals to announce his presence. Baki and Kankurou ceased talking and waited for him to show himself. He walked from behind the corner, eyeing them calmly.

"Hey Gaara," Kankurou said with his usual tone, not even a slightest twitch betraying his thoughts. Gaara greeted Baki with the nod while the puppeteer continued. "How was the training?"

"Fine, thank you" the redhead answered indifferently and walked away, feeling their looks on his back. He decided not to mention the conversation because he was certain he wasn't meant to hear it. Judging from Baki's words he could tell that secret preparations to make him the village's leader started some time ago and were still unfinished. If they have never uttered a word about it, they apparently wanted him not to know anything.

He entered his room, lost in thoughts. Kankurou's question about training drew his attention to other matter of his gradually increasing interest. This training was different. Odd. He wasn't acting like himself, for the first time attacking Matsuri in such aggressive manner. He could say it was for her sake but it would be an apparent lie. Since he considered lying to himself stupid and useless he still had to answer the nagging question: why?

He carefully closed the door and let his gourd turn into the sand, ignoring the straps. The sand swirled in the air and gathered in the corner, forming the familiar shape. Gaara stopped in front of the window and watched the sun going down. The previous question had been answered in his mind already but he still didn't want to admit it to himself. His gaze lowered until it reached a certain building where he knew Matsuri was living in. He knew which her windows exactly were even if he had never asked his student about it.

Sighing, he closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. The emotional turmoil caused by the training and then the conversation between Baki and Kankurou, all of this greatly disturbed him but he had to be honest with himself and admit that he'd been attacking Matsuri the way he did because it excited him. It excited him when he could feel her body close to his own, when he could easily overpower her. Her flushed face popped in front of his imagination, her futile efforts to fight him off and finally the fear in her eyes when he pinned her to the ground.

He had been using her without her knowing, and the notion made him feel guilty and scared. He should know better than to use his powers like that. In his life he had tasted already what it meant to have the absolute power. Because of Shukaku, his nemesis, he could rule human life and death and found the great delight in it. Such power would corrupt even the purest mind, and his mind wasn't pure, not since Yashamaru's betrayal.

The only difference was he didn't feel like killing this time. His Bijuu's chakra had been endlessly testing the strength of his mental barriers but it wasn't too offensive now. His desire to overpower Matsuri obviously had a different source.

His trusting, cheerful student definitely changed. She was still trusting and cheerful but she wasn't a child anymore. Her body changed just as his own. He could feel it when they were fighting and the need to discover, to taste, to possess overwhelmed him. And he succumbed – he had been discovering, tasting, possessing, all of this without her knowing.

It was... improper. He shouldn't do that anymore.

Willing to distract the disturbing thoughts he decided to ponder over something else. Amongst many things he had discovered during the training was Matsuri's surprising physical weakness. Of course she had been weaker than him but she wasn't supposed to be that weak. From her words on the other day he had learnt her once injured shoulder had been healed completely and it shouldn't influence her fitness any longer. What was the cause then? Was she sick?

He decided to watch her closer to see if the weakness was growing. Maybe Matsuri didn't realize it, and maybe she did but wanted to hide it? Whatever case it was, he had to know the truth.

o0o0o0o

Kankurou adjusted the scrolls on his back and grinned to himself when he came out from between the cliffs and the familiar sight of the yellow and ochre coloured buildings welcomed him.

"Home sweet home," he murmured. The other chuunins who had been on the mission with him looked content as well. Kankurou turned to face them and waved his hand.

"You're dismissed," he said. "I'm going straight to Kazekage Tower to give my report."

"Yes, Kankurou-senpai," one of them uttered and they marched off.

"Setsuna, don't forget about tomorrow!" the puppeteer called and one of the chuunins glanced back, grinning and nodding.

Kankurou snorted funnily and went towards the Tower. Since the last Kazekage's death (Kankurou couldn't think about him as his father – the man was just Yondaime Kazekage) and council's obvious inability to choose the next one, the amount of ninjas who could have been sent on missions considerably decreased. The village's security was the top priority but fewer missions meant less money. The Sunagakure's reputation had been gradually ruined and the elders decided to send even Kankurou or Temari to complete certain tasks. Gaara, being a part of the regular troops, was being assigned many more missions than his siblings and every time he was leaving village Kankurou was truly worried (not that he ever let anyone know about it). It seemed though that after the feral mission which almost got Matsuri killed the council finally ceased attempting to murder 'the container of the demon Shukaku.'

Kankurou couldn't help but wince at the very recalling of the phrase.

Anyway the councilmen's decision could have something to do with the confrontation with Gaara right after that mission. No one knew anything certain about it since the only source of information was the council's guard but the gossip ran that Gaara indirectly offered them the truce. Besides, Gaara, even if oblivious to it, was currently the most serious candidate for the position of Kazekage. It could be another reason of ceasing killing attempts directed at him.

Suddenly, the person Kankurou had been so intensely musing about walked from behind the corner. The puppeteer flinched and stepped back, still influenced by the old habit drilled into his brain long time ago, the habit of the immediate retreat at the sight of those piercing eyes and 'ai' kanji on the pale forehead. The puppeteer's hands left the scrolls on his back he had instinctively grasped and he could feel his body relax since he knew his brother was no threat anymore.

Gaara's eyes widened a bit at Kankurou's reaction. The older boy scratched his head and chuckled nervously.

"Man, you got me scared. You've shown like a ghost."

Just saying those words Kankurou knew it was kind of a blunder since Gaara looked quite like roiho with his porcelain skin and bloody red hair, and definitely didn't need to be reminded of that fact. Fortunately Gaara didn't seem to be offended.

"How was the mission?" the redhead asked and Kankurou sighed inwardly with relief.

"The absolute success," he answered boastfully, grinning.

They headed towards Kazekage Tower in silence until the puppeteer thought he spotted a familiar figure on one of the terraces. Raising his head, he recognized Matsuri sitting there with a boy. Kankurou glanced at Gaara from the corner of his eye and noticed his younger brother also caught the glimpse of the two.

Matsuri was laughing while her companion was whispering something into her ear with his hand snaking at the small of her back. Kankurou finally remembered the boy's name. It was Yakku, one of Temari's students. From what Kankurou had heard Matsuri was the world to the boy.

The puppeteer slowed his pace deliberately.

"Gaara, look," he said quietly, waiting to gauge his brother's reaction.

"I see," Gaara answered emotionlessly and the puppeteer snarled inwardly. Sometimes it was so damn annoying not to be able to read his brother. Not even the slightest twitch nor the blink of the eye betrayed what Gaara was thinking.

The boy sitting with Matsuri spotted them walking down the street and visibly stiffened. His hand left Matsuri's back and he moved away from her. The kunoichi followed his gaze and noticed them too. She stood up and said something to the boy who hastily hid in the building while she jumped down onto the ground.

"Gaara-sensei, hello. Kankurou-san," she greeted them and the puppeteer glanced at Gaara's face. The redhead only nodded so Kankurou decided to do something to test if the gossips running around the village were true.

"You shouldn't leave your boyfriend alone," he teased and Matsuri blushed lightly, shaking her head.

"Yakku is not my boyfriend," she explained in a serious tone. "He's one of my best friends."

"If you say so," Kankurou answered ironically, winking at her.

Matsuri pouted visibly.

"Kankurou-san, you're mean," she commented. "I wanted to ask you how the mission went but now I'm going to go." She looked at Gaara and beamed a smile at him. "Gaara-sensei, see you soon on the training ground," she said and turned away. Stunned, Kankurou watched her running into the building she had left earlier. How could he not notice that before? He had been never paying much attention to Matsuri since she was less than average looking according to his standards but he shouldn't omit such distinct changes in her. The voice, the smile. The hair, the lips, the chest, the hips. The legs; damn, Matsuri had such nicely shaped legs! He wondered if Gaara could also see those changes and how he was taking them. While it was true Gaara had said earlier he wasn't planning to date Matsuri nor any other girl, Kankurou couldn't help but wonder how much longer his younger brother would stay completely oblivious to the dreamy looks more and more girls were sending in his direction. It was true the forbidden fruits were the most attractive but Kankurou hoped there were a few girls at least who wanted to approach Gaara because they genuinely liked him. The puppeteer had to reluctantly admit that his brother, once a vicious little midget, changed much as well, month after month gaining new and new levels of the physical attractiveness, leaving Kankurou far behind.

The puppeteer was honestly curious if Gaara was generally aware of how the changes in him influenced the opposite sex. Unfortunately, the most likely thing was that he wasn't. Kankurou was certain that deep down Gaara still thought of himself as someone less worthy than other people, someone undeserving any kinder feelings. Of course Shukaku had been still sealed within him and it would be stupid to ignore the fact but Kankurou was absolutely certain Gaara would rather crush himself with Sabaku Kyuu than hurt any villager.

The puppeteer sighed quietly, scrutinizing his brother's face from the corner of his eye. He wanted so much Gaara would to have a normal life. As normal as Jinchuuriki's life could have been of course. Kankurou always thought it was not possible but he changed his mind after meeting Uzumaki Naruto and seeing him interacting with other Konoha genins.

In six weeks Gaara would turn fifteen and he should have been able to have a normal life, and in Kankurou's opinion girls and dates were the part of the normal life. Not that he himself had ever dated any girl but he decided his brother deserved a better fate. In any case it seemed Gaara would have much more chances than him anyway.

Gaara wasn't any different from other boys at his age and Kankurou knew this perfectly well since the certain day when he had entered the bathroom where Gaara had been having a shower just minutes earlier. The heavy, musky scent wafting in the air hit the puppeteer's nostrils, the scent he could unmistakably recognize, knowing it from the moments of his own blissful releases.

Yes, Gaara definitely needed to wake up.

"_He's one of my best friends_," the puppeteer repeated Matsuri's words in the mocking tone. "The girl is surely blind. This Yakku guy is head over heels with her but he's not going to tell her."

"Hn," Gaara murmured and Kankurou winced with an irritation.

"He's afraid of you," the puppeteer added, trying to make his brother spill anything about his relationship with Matsuri. Gaara blinked and gazed at him, obviously surprised, waiting for the continuation. "Nobody knows for sure what kind of relationship you have with Matsuri and I seriously doubt you would find a single guy in Suna who would have challenged you to win her over," Kankurou finished, holding his breath while waiting for the answer. For a fleeting moment he seriously wondered if it was wise to offer the Kazekage position to a guy who was such ignorant when it came to social matters.

The redhead frowned.

"Do you think I'm standing in a way of Matsuri's happiness?" he inquired and it wasn't the answer Kankurou had been expecting even if he could draw a certain conclusion from it. But the puppeteer didn't know Matsuri's opinion on the matter so "I have no idea" was the only thing he could say.

o0o0o0o

Matsuri stood in front of her water meter and watched it with her lips pursed. The water limitations were one of the most troublesome things while living in the hidden village located in the heart of the desert. Each and every one member of the small society had a certain amount of water to use every month, depending on his position and rank. The people who overdrew the limit had to pay and Matsuri couldn't afford it. The girl really wanted to have a long, nice shower but what she could only do was to fill the bowl with the water and wash herself with a white linen cloth until she felt clean at last.

She entered the bathroom and glared at the innocent bowl. Limits or not, she just couldn't deny herself a shower after long, exhausting training session. Stripping her clothes off, Matsuri pondered over Yakku she had been training with. Her friend was still scared of Gaara and seemed to have a grudge against him but Matsuri couldn't figure out the reason. A week earlier when she had been sitting with Yakku on the terrace of his house and when Gaara appeared almost out of nowhere on the street below them, with his brother by his side, she could clearly sense that Yakku panicked.

With a sigh, the kunoichi stepped inside the cabin and succumbed to the pleasant sensation of the cool water flowing down her body. Why everything was always about Gaara? Sometimes – but only sometimes, she quickly admonished herself – she felt just so tired. Trying to change people's minds was such a thankless task, and it was undermining her confidence when she could see that even one of her closest friends still lived in a fear of her teacher. And what if Yakku had been right? What if Matsuri would be also scared if she had known the old Gaara, if she also had been terrorized and constantly feared for her life?

Sealing off the water, Matsuri reached for the towel and wrapped it around her body. All those 'ifs' meant nothing since she didn't know Gaara's reasons at all and still had no courage to ask him. Not that she regretted she had chosen him to be her teacher but sometimes... he was just too troublesome.

**The end of chapter 5.**

**Chapter 6: The troublesome student**

anpan=sweet bun most commonly filled with red bean paste. Anpan can also be prepared with other fillings, including white beans, sesame or chestnut.

roiho=kind of ghost appearing in a Polish fantasy&sci-fi novel „Pan Lodowego Ogrodu" (eng. „The Lord of the Ice Garden") by Jarosław Grzędowicz; or lava field on Rapa Nui island


	6. 6 The troublesome student

Beta-reading: Katakiari (katakiari . deviantart . com)

© "Naruto" is created and copyrighted by Kishimoto Masashi and owned by Shueisha Publishing Co., Ltd. and Studio Pierrot.

Enjoy.

**Alive And Victorious**

**Chapter 6. The troublesome student**

"Let's call it a day," Gaara said to his student. Matsuri nodded and glanced aside where a long-haired girl had been standing in a distance, obviously waiting for them to finish. The redhead tried to recall her name. It was Sari, if his memory was correct; she was Matsuri's best friend.

The girl had apparently realized they just finished because she slowly stepped towards them. Matsuri waited for her patiently, oblivious to the fact she was being observed. Gaara was looking at her from the corner of his eye, watching how her breathing grew steady. The sweatdrops were still breaking out of her skin and trickling down. One of them went down Matsuri's neck and disappeared behind her shirt, just between her breasts.

The redhead averted his eyes.

Sari reached them and smiled.

"Hello, Gaara-san," she greeted him and it seemed there was a hidden message in her voice. Matsuri rolled her eyes.

"Hi, Matsuri," Sari said to her friend, pouting a bit. Matsuri's chin shivered like she was suppressing her laughter.

"Gaara-sensei," his student only said. "I'm going to get my shurikens."

The redhead nodded, watching her go away and gather the metal stars, stuck in the sand. He realized Sari had asked him something in a timid voice and he gazed at her questioningly.

"Nah, forget it," she said quickly, glancing at him with her eyes narrowed. He nodded, his attention snatched by his student once more. Matsuri was getting closer to the furthest shuriken and Gaara focused, letting his consciousness expand and weave his chakra through the countless grains shifting beneath his feet. The shuriken floated up, carried by a ribbon of sand, and Matsuri turned back and grinned thankfully at him. She deftly caught the weapon and stuck it into her pouch, then ran towards them while the sand dispersed in the air.

"Thank you, sensei," the girl said, smiling, and the redhead nodded wordlessly. "So what are we going to do? Maybe eat something?" Matsuri asked her friend. Sari looked happy and shot a glance in his direction. "Gaara-sensei, would you like to come with us?" his student uttered, surprising him completely. He didn't answer at once, musing over her proposition. "Oh c'mon," Matsuri recited, smiling invitingly. "You won't have to treat us, I promise. You can have something spicy, just the way you like it."

Sari was eyeing them curiously and Matsuri laughed, obviously embarrassed, and scratched the back of her head.

"Um, you know, sensei let me try what he had been eating in the canteen once. You would never believe how savoury it was. I had been thirsty for the entire day after that." Matsuri wrinkled her nose and Sari giggled. Gaara watched both girls intently. They seemed to be so close to each other, best friends indeed. His siblings were also acting that way sometimes, teasing and bantering, but never with him. As if the remnants of the old fear still resided within them.

Only Matsuri was unafraid. Absolutely, completely unafraid.

"I drank so much water that I didn't have enough left to wash my clothes," the girl finished her story, glaring at her friend who was still giggling. After a minute Matsuri laughed as well and gazed at Gaara. "Sensei, will you go with us?"

"Yes," he nodded and Sari made a face of a shinobi who had just completed an A-rank mission perfectly. They left the training ground and headed towards the shopping district. The girls continued their friendly chattering and from time to time Matsuri was attempting to draw him into the conversation, but to no avail. Actually, he had always thought he preferred solitude and silence to an empty jabbering but, to his bewilderment, he kind of liked listening to two girls going by his side. The trio, just walking down Sunagakure's narrow streets, was arousing great curiosity in the villagers. Everyone was used to seeing Gaara walking alone. Sometimes his siblings were with him but no one else, and now all of a sudden two pretty girls were accompanying him.

The redhead was used to people staring at him and pretending they weren't staring at all, so he just ignored the stares. Sari seemed to feel slightly uncomfortable, while Matsuri was getting more and more annoyed.

"It's very impolite to gape at people!" she exclaimed for the tenth time, rebuking a group of girls her age. The girls glared at her and turned away but they were continuously glancing over their shoulders and Matsuri sighed, shaking her head.

Sari waved her hand as if she spotted someone familiar in the crowd. Gaara followed her gaze and noticed the boy named Yakku, the one hopelessly fallen for Matsuri, according to Kankurou's words. The brown-haired genin slowed down his pace when he realized who was accompanying his friends. He looked like he had been positively scared and about to run away.

"Heeeey!" Sari screamed and there was no way for the poor guy to sneak away unnoticed. "We're going to eat something, wanna go with us?"

Gaara watched the boy drawing himself nearer and nearer. Finally, Yakku came to a halt right before them and Matsuri beamed a bright smile at him.

"Gaara-sensei, this is my friend Yakku," the girl said. "Yakku, this is Gaara-sensei, whom I told you so much about."

This statement surprised Gaara but what was even more surprising was the pride in Matsuri's voice. The redhead glanced at her briefly and looked at Yakku, who nodded at him with a rather unfriendly expression. Since Gaara's usual expression was not the friendliest one either, to put it mildly, he only had to send the other boy the long look to make him shift uncomfortably and avert his eyes.

"Gaara-sensei," Matsuri whispered, nudging him gently at the elbow. "Do not look at him like you want to hurt him!"

Gaara peeked at her and their eyes met. Matsuri nodded seriously to emphasize her words and turned to Yakku who explained he was going to get a new pouch. Looking like he was truly relieved, the boy excused himself, but Matsuri quickly offered to go with him and, before Gaara could realize what was happening, he had been left only with Sari in the middle of Suna's shopping district.

o0o0o0o

Matsuri stopped in front of Sari's house and knocked at the door. Her friend opened it and grinned at her sight, putting her finger on her lips and pulling Matsuri inside. She led her friend into her room and when the door was closed behind them Sari started to giggle uncontrollably. Matsuri waited with a big grin plastered on her face until her friend was calm at last. It was obvious that the date with Gaara made Sari extremely happy. Not that he knew it was a date, anyway.

"And?" Matsuri asked, impatient and curious.

"Great," Sari answered dreamily. "Fantastic. Matsuri, he's so _handsome_! Of course, he wasn't talking much, only observed everything with those eyes... Tell me, how can you look into those eyes and not fall for him?"

Matsuri felt slightly abashed, not sure if it was proper to listen to such things about her own teacher. Besides, she really didn't want to ponder over her own feelings towards him. Even if she would be unlucky enough to fall for him, she doubted she could ever make friends with him, let alone be his girlfriend.

"He is my teacher," she said sternly.

"Oh, come on," Sari waved her hand with disregard. "If only I had such a teacher, I—" she broke off and furrowed her brows. "Matsuri, maybe you could ask him to teach me, too?"

"Uh... what?" Matsuri stuttered, astounded. "And how are you going to explain this to Temari-san?"

Sari looked perplexed. "I don't know... I'll think of something!" she shot. "I really have to get closer to him!"

Matsuri watched her friend, astonished. It seemed Sari really had a soft spot for Gaara.

"Remember what I told you," Matsuri remarked and Sari waved her hand.

"I know, I know. I carried out all of your instructions. No joking, no winking, no flirting. I've been dead serious. I piqued his interest only when I touched upon the subject of the Academy." Suddenly Sari jumped to her feet and stood in front of Matsuri. "Hey, Matsuri... are you sure you are not jealous?" she asked coyly.

Matsuri rolled her eyes but couldn't help the soft blush surfacing her cheeks.

"I told you already you can have him if you want," she said with a huff and Sari smiled, floating into her own dreamland again. For the rest of the evening Matsuri had to tell her friend stories about Gaara until she decided it was late and she had to go home. Quite relieved, she left Sari's house and headed towards her home. The sun had set already and the streets were lit only by dim light of the street lamps; the first quarter moon was not giving any distinctive light either. Matsuri quickened her pace when from behind the nearest corner two ninjas appeared, or rather stumbled. They were wearing chuunin flak jackets and looked positively drunk. Matsuri tried to go around them while they were clinging to each other, searching for support. Blinking, they focused their eyes on her. One of them pointed at her with his finger and sputtered some words that made her blood boil.

o0o0o0o

Matsuri opened her eyes. She was lying on a narrow, hard bed in a small place without windows. In the wall just above the door there was a shallow cavity where a lamp had been placed behind the thick sheet of plexiglass. No other equipment was there.

The kunoichi pulled herself to a sitting position and groaned, touching the back of her head. She could feel a huge bump there and her head was spinning and aching. Plus, she was very thirsty. Her hand instinctively sneaked into her pouch and after she sensed the sharp edges of the metal blades hidden there, she already knew she must have been taken into custody since they didn't take her weapons.

Her heart hammered at the thought and she jumped high when the door lock clashed. Matsuri timidly turned her gaze in that direction, watching the door being set ajar and revealing one jounin standing there. The man waved at her wordlessly and Matsuri gulped, lifting herself and walking towards him with her knees buckling. Her calf ached slightly and she also realized the sleeve of her shirt had been cut open. Through the hole she could see the neat, long cut from a kunai blade but it wasn't bleeding anymore. The jounin peered at her assessingly with grave expression and led her out. They went down the long corridor, went upstairs and finally entered a sparsely furnished room. There was a table standing in the middle with two wooden chairs on both sides. There were also a few chairs next to the door and a small cabinet hanging on the wall.

The jounin showed the girl to sit down. She settled herself into the chair facing the wall, opposite to the door, and soon her neck began to ache because she was forcing herself not to turn away and look at the entrance. She started to inhale deeply and tried to concentrate on the wall when someone approached the table and sat down in the chair in front of her, at the opposite side of the table. Matsuri held her breath. It was impossible not to recognize that face, partly covered with a white sheet hanging down from the turban and marked with Kaze no Yaiba tattoo. Matsuri's heart was about to leap out of her chest.

Baki-sama.

She knew she hadn't been in such deep shit since the Shitenshounin incident.

The jounin's expression was extremely stern and his only eye was sparkling dangerously. Matsuri broke out in a cold sweat, her lips going dry immediately. When Baki cleared his throat, the girl jumped to the ceiling. He leaned backwards and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Matsuri," he uttered in a deep, menacing voice which sounded in the poor girl's ears like a funeral bell. "Yesterday evening you attacked two chuunins. One of them is concussed; the other has his testicles nearly crushed. I'm waiting for your explanation."

Matsuri's face went red all over and she pursed her lips, disobediently averting her gaze. Baki's eyes narrowed.

"Answer now, shinobi!" he ordered and Matsuri flinched. She wanted to stay silent, she wanted to forget about it, she wanted to pretend that nothing had happened... but she couldn't ignore the jounin's command.

"...were calling me names," she growled quietly.

"I can't hear you!" Baki roared.

"They were calling me names!" she repeated louder and bit her lip. Baki looked like he was about to roll his eyes.

"Calling you names?" he echoed in a sneer. "And what names were they calling you that you decided to severely hurt them and cause their prolonged inability to go on missions?"

The girl swallowed and closed her eyes. Let them punish her, let them trample and humiliate her but may it be the end at last...

"Answer me!" the jounin raged, suddenly leaning forward. Matsuri shivered, raising her hand as if she wanted to block the hit.

"They were calling me names!" she repeated defensively. "They...They said..." she gulped. "_Isn't that the little pussy who managed to tame the beast?_" she mimicked the chuunins' disgusting, lustful voices. Her blood boiled at the very remembrance and her body trembled all over, her fists clenching until her nails dug in her flesh. "_I wonder how did she manage to do that, huh? Come here, monster's plaything!_"

The jounin's chest rumbled threateningly. He glanced at the door and hit the tabletop with his fist.

"Gaara, where are you going?" he yelled and Matsuri turned around immediately, shocked to the core. Her teacher was standing in the doorway, his back facing them. Finally he glanced at Baki over his shoulder.

"I'm going to find them," the redhead drawled in a low, ominous voice. Matsuri felt her cheeks burning when she realized he had heard the worst part of the story, or maybe even more. The girl sank into her chair, miserably watching Baki who stood up and glared at his former student.

"She punished them quite appropriately already," the jounin said.

"You want me to pretend that nothing has happened?" Gaara answered in the same voice as before, giving Matsuri chills.

Baki snarled impatiently and squeezed the bridge of his nose with two fingers.

"Of course not," he said. "But you will speak with them when you've calmed down, do you understand me? In your case it will be more than enough!"

Matsuri grabbed the edge of the tabletop until her knuckles turned white. If only she could crawl under this table and not show herself for another year!

"Please, don't make it worse!" Baki roared, obviously furious with having to deal with the unruly teacher and student at once.

The quiet footsteps announced that Gaara decided to go back, making Baki sigh with irritation and also relief. The jounin turned to the girl.

"Matsuri, your punishment is three months on the border post," he commanded and the kunoichi gasped, forgetting her previous embarrassment. Her eyes widened and her lips trembled. Gaara stepped closer until he stood next to her.

"Border post?" he asked, surprised. "But she is only a genin."

Baki pursed his lips as if he wanted to show that even Gaara shouldn't question his orders.

"The border with Hi no Kuni," he drawled at last. "Do you still have any doubts?"

Gaara didn't say anything and Matsuri screwed her eyes shut. The tears were forming in the corners of her eyes and even biting her lip didn't help. She lowered her head, sniffing.

"And now talk some sense into your student!" Baki commanded and left the room. The sound of his footsteps faded away and the only sound audible was Matsuri's stifled weeping.

"Gaara-sensei..." she stuttered. "'m sorry... I'm sorry! I only brought you shame—"

The gentle pat on the shoulder made her shudder. She straightened in her seat but before she could look at Gaara she felt the comforting squeeze on her shoulder. The redhead leaned forward and murmured into her ear: "Don't worry, Matsuri. If I were you I would do exactly the same thing."

o0o0o0o

Matsuri gasped, seeking for more air and frantically looking around. She couldn't concentrate on the place she had been in, she didn't know what happened. The heat had become overwhelming and she threw away her covers, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

There was a dream... yes, she definitely had a dream. A dream like none other. There were so many strange things in the dream. It was full of mists, mysterious voices and awkward heat which overwhelmed her entire body and finally accumulated down her abdomen, forming an exotic sensation of wetness down there.

The girl rolled onto her stomach and moaned into the pillow. The sensation had been so unfamiliar yet so wonderful. There was someone in her dream who had been responsible for inducing the heat. Someone had been touching her in all places like she had never experienced before. Her heart pounded under the touch and her breathing turned uneven. The tension had wound up inside her, leaving her frustrated after the sudden awakening. She wanted the dream to go on so she could... she could what?

Her hand shyly rested over her stomach before it uncertainly sneaked under her clothes, heading towards the spot she identified as the source of the tension. When her fingers brushed it, the sensation wasn't as great as it had been in the dream but it still elicited a gasp from her, inevitably drawing her to continuation. She let her fingertips find their own rhythm, and she writhed on the bed, whimpering into the pillow, until the wonderful ecstasy she had only heard of before hit her. Then the dream returned to her mind and in one shocking glimpse she could clearly remember the face of the mysterious person she had been dreaming of.

Matsuri jumped from her bed and ran out from her room. She had been sleeping in her usual ninja outfit, which was a normal thing on the border posts where there could be no time to change if the enemy suddenly decided to attack. She darted towards the bathroom, passing by a shinobi who just came back from his night guard duty, and locked the door. After stripping off her clothes, she turned on the cold water and let it flood over her body, squeaking in a high-pitched voice when the cold had become unbearable. She quickly dried herself with the towel and got dressed, not letting the remnants of the dream haunt her.

The other ninjas already began to move around the place. The cook had started to prepare the morning meal, and many ninjas were training on the training ground. Matsuri was the only girl here so she got her own room, and now thanked the gods for it.

Since the profound training would nicely serve her goal to push away the unwelcome thoughts for as long as she could, she approached one of the wooden poles and began to punch it. All of her efforts were in vain and the memory of the dream slowly resurfaced in her mind, the face she knew so well haunting her beyond all imagination.

Gaara. Her teacher. Her _teacher_! Sometimes she enjoyed the thought they could be friends, but _this_?

Matsuri went to the room, serving as a kitchen, where other ninjas were already waiting for the meal. She talked to somebody but she barely knew who it was and what they were talking about. Her thoughts could focus on only one thing: the dream that stirred up such turmoil within her.

Maybe the dream had been vague and quite unclear but Gaara was definitely a part of it. She only needed to close her eyes to vividly remember his face from the dream. He was there and reached for her as if she belonged to him...

Matsuri felt her cheeks heating. She had dreamed about him before just as she dreamed about her other friends but never in such manner. Where did the dream come from just now, when she hadn't seen the redhead for almost three months?

She couldn't think of seeing him again. She wouldn't be able to look him in the eye.

Someone patted her on the shoulder. Matsuri raised her face, dazedly staring at the older jounin who was smiling at her kindly.

"Matsuri-chan, are you ready to train after breakfast?" he asked and the kunoichi nodded with contentment. At least she would be able to disperse the unwelcome thoughts while having to concentrate on practicing ninja techniques. She hastily ate her meal and followed the man out of the place.

The jounin's name was Yue and he had admitted once he liked her a lot because she'd been reminding him of his granddaughter. When he found out Matsuri's chakra type was doton he had been even happier since he was a doton user and not one of his children and grandchildren inherited his chakra type. Since that moment they had often been training together and Matsuri came to like the cheerful, good-tempered jounin. He taught her a few doton techniques and gave her theory basics on a few others she hadn't been able to perform yet with her current level of chakra.

There were many younger ninjas at the post but none of them had been trying to make friends with her. Not that she was eager to befriend them but she wondered sometimes if the gossips about _monster's plaything _reached even there. The thought itself was very irritating and sometimes Matsuri wished someone would mention it so she could correct their opinions but it never happened.

Matsuri had been practicing with Yue for a couple of hours when a chuunin came to call everyone back to the post since there were important news brought from Sunagakure. When all ninjas gathered in front of their captain, forming a line, he rubbed his chin and uttered with a loud voice:

"The messenger from Sunagakure visited this morning, bringing the following news: the new Kazekage had been elected!"

All the ninjas began to whisper in hushed voices, obviously surprised, but it was nothing in comparison to the next shot. The captain raised his hand and added calmly: "Gaara-sama is the new Kazekage."

Matsuri froze. The shocked, disbelieving voices reverberated in the air but they seemed to be so far, far away until they eventually vanished, leaving her staring at the captain with her eyes widened, unable to hear anything.

They made Gaara-sensei Kazekage? The thought itself was too huge, impossible to embrace, even if she had been repeating the word numerous times. Kazekage... Kazekage...

Yes, there were rumours. Of course there were but who could have believed them? The shinobi who turned fifteen two months ago had been chosen to lead the Village Hidden in the Sand. It was just... nonsense, even if Gaara was indeed the most powerful shinobi in the village.

She vaguely remembered the previous Kazekage, with his long white and blue robe and hat. She had been trying to picture Gaara wearing that outfit but the images from the dream were interfering, and Matsuri felt the shame raising its head again.

_It doesn't mean anything_, the kunoichi scolded herself. _It was just a regular dream. Well, maybe not very regular but we can't control what dreams are showing to us. It's not our fault._

_It's not my fault._

o0o0o0o

Matsuri couldn't stop herself. A few jumps and she reached the top of the cliff. Standing on the hard, stone surface she took in the view with tears blurring her sight.

Round ochre buildings, no plants and rivers and the sand floating everywhere. She was home! After three months of exile, without her friends and everything she held dear, she could finally come back. Her punishment had its advantages, too. She had been paid regularly, so she was able to save some money, and she learnt a few doton techniques, but it was not enough to ease her home-sickness.

Her soul wanted to sing.

Going down, she headed towards her home, looking around curiously to check if anything had changed. It seemed the building where the Academy was supposed to be had been intensely worked on, plus the jounin's office seemed to be busy, apparently making preparations for the next chuunin exam which was supposed to take place in two months. Matsuri sipped some water from her canteen, wondering when they would let her take the exam. Unfortunately, she had started to train when she was fourteen already, not even mentioning her last misdeed which could have a negative influence on her ninja career.

Three people appeared from behind the corner, interrupting her musings.

"Matsuri!" Sari squealed with joy and threw her arms around her friend's neck. "I missed you so much!"

Matsuri pressed her face against Sari's shoulder, feeling the stinging in her eyes again. Now she could definitely feel she was home.

Sari giggled and let her go, rubbing her eyes with her fist and sniffling. Darui gave Matsuri a quick hug and Yakku nodded at her, grinning widely.

"I thought you were supposed to meet me at the gates," Matsuri pretended to pout.

"We would have come earlier if it wasn't for a certain person whose name I'll omit in silence," Sari snarled, glancing meaningfully at Darui. The boy scratched the back of his head and laughed nervously. Matsuri's smile was so broad her cheeks started to ache. Those familiar, dear faces, the dry, hot atmosphere, the sand dust in the air... She didn't realize earlier how much used to all of it she had become for those two years since she had come here to train as a ninja. To think she was going to turn sixteen in a month!

"Come on, tell me everything!" she pressed when they were going towards her home. "Any news?"

Her friends exchanged meaningful glances.

"Well, you probably know the biggest news already..." Sari said with hesitation.

Matsuri nodded, gazing at the Kazekage Tower. Gaara had been leading the village for ten days. How was he coping with the many problems he had surely met?

"Yeah," she admitted, nodding. "I still can't believe it."

"There are many who can't either," Yakku commented dryly. "After all the things he had done the council made him Kazekage."

They were walking in silence for a time and Matsuri pondered over Yakku's words. For the first time the thought that Yakku had to have a personal reason to bear such a grudge against Gaara entered her mind, but what could it have been?

"They apparently had their reasons," Darui placated. "After all he's the strongest ninja in our village."

Yakku snorted under his nose and didn't say anything.

"You know Darui has a girlfriend?" Sari interjected, obviously attempting to change the topic.

"Really?" Matsuri was surprised and honestly happy for her friend. "Who?"

"Sana," Sari answered, grinning. Darui sighed, slightly embarrassed.

"Sana? Lucky one!" Matsuri giggled, remembering the short, plump genin, always watching Darui with dreamy eyes. "And you two?"

Sari exhaled miserably and her shoulders slumped.

"Well... you know... when you left I didn't have any chance to approach him... Not even mentioning what happened later..."

They went into the building where Matsuri's apartment was located. Climbing upstairs, they reached the last floor and Matsuri took out her key. She unlocked the door and ran inside, turning around like she was dancing, and laughed wholeheartedly.

"I'm finally home!" she exclaimed.

Darui put on the table the basket he had been carrying. Sari poured water into the mugs. Matsuri looked around, noticing the room had been nicely cleaned. Obviously Sari used her spare key and came here earlier.

"This is from my mom so you won't have to make dinner today," Sari announced, pointing to the basket. Matsuri flushed, nonplussed.

"Sari, thank you... You didn't have to—"

"Come on," Sari interrupted. "I owed you a favour, remember?"

Their eyes met and Matsuri smiled softly, remembering Sari's efforts to pick up Gaara. Suddenly unwelcome echoes of a certain dream erupted in her mind and her cheeks burned. Laughing nervously, she took a mug from the table, drank the water and threw herself on her bed.

"I already forgot how comfortable it was!" she cried enthusiastically with her heartbeat growing faster. Before any of her friends had a chance to ask what was wrong, Matsuri continued the previous topic. "So you couldn't meet him again?"

Sari nodded.

"He was always with his siblings. I think they were making preparations already, at least such rumours were running rampant, but who would believe them? Even after I saw him in the robe and the hat I couldn't believe it."

Matsuri got lost in her thoughts. She completely understood Sari's reaction since it was unheard of that the person, despised and hated in the village, suddenly took the position of the village's leader. Did Gaara ever think he would be chosen as Kazekage someday? Or maybe he had been planning it from the very beginning, slowly working on people to accept him, easing their fear and breaking the barriers between him and others... and Matsuri had greatly helped him to achieve that goal.

Her heart throbbed painfully when the thought that she had been used surfaced her mind. No, she was wrong. She knew her sensei. She genuinely wanted to support his efforts even if she didn't have the tiniest idea it would end this way. Gaara must have realized it earlier and maybe was even happy she trusted him that much but he would never take advantage of her trust.

"And now I have no chance at all," Sari uttered, interrupting Matsuri's thoughts. "They will surely make him marry a heiress of an oh-so-very-important-clan, that's all."

"So you're giving up?" Darui asked. "It's not like you."

"Oh, come on," Sari snorted. "I won't try to pick up the _Kazekage_!"

"Why not?" Darui asked innocently. "He might have been chosen Kazekage but under all this elegant robes there is still a normal guy with his—"

He broke off when Sari punched him in the shoulder, her cheeks beet-red.

"You perverted idiot!" she screamed but before he could answer Matsuri left her bed and swept them both with her arms.

"You have no idea how much I missed you!" she exclaimed, embracing them tightly. Darui freed himself gently, murmuring something and smoothing his hair. Sari grinned and patted the other girl on the shoulder.

"Touchy-feely, aren't we?" she mocked lightly and Matsuri stuck out her tongue. Yakku had been watching them bantering but didn't utter a word and Matsuri turned to him.

"And you? Did you find yourself a girlfriend?"

Darui gasped quietly and Sari burst into laughter. Yakku glared at them and shrugged.

"No," he said only.

Matsuri frowned. She thought her friend had been acting strangely but she didn't want to pursue the matter. Besides, she was hungry. Opening the basket, she took out the small box and inhaled the savoury scent wafting from the inside.

"He likes a girl," Darui suddenly uttered behind her back. "But she had been, um, kind of interested in someone else."

Yakku straightened and cast a warning glance at his friend. Matsuri's eyes wandered between their faces.

"It turned out this wasn't the case but he still has no courage to tell her," Darui finished. "He believes she will push him away."

"Are you serious?" Matsuri asked, bewildered. "I think any girl would be happy if someone like you asked her out."

Sari let out a stifled giggle and Darui sent Matsuri an incomprehensible look. The kunoichi furrowed, shrugging to herself. She really didn't want to pry into Yakku's love life, especially when he seemed not to appreciate it. Taking the onigiri from the box and eating it with delight, she just decided to leave the topic.

o0o0o0o

Gaara rubbed his eyes with the pads of his fingers. He had been tired and anxious. The pile of documents on his desk was still growing higher and his schedule was completely full. Over two months have passed since he became Kazekage and he still couldn't sort out the administrative mess. He wondered sometimes if he could ever solve all problems which had arisen over the long time when the village was devoid of its leader. He dedicated almost all of his time, working, even on nights, on agreements, arrangements, deals and negotiations, signing treaties and devolving many of his duties upon a few other people he trusted.

His musings had been interrupted by his assistant. He had no other choice than to engage one and didn't feel comfortable with it since none of his predecessors needed such a person. The young woman, Kotori, turned out to be a diligent, reliable worker but, unfortunately, all of her good traits were denied by the obvious, annoying truth - she had been continuously trying to seduce him.

When it turned out he needed to employ an assistant all the councilmen had so many suggestions. All the young women they offered were their close or distant relatives and even if it irritated Gaara, he couldn't accuse the elders of promoting nepotism, not when his closest advisors and confidants were his own siblings. He had no other choice than to search through all the offers. Finally, he picked Kotori, Ryuusa's daughter. She was seven years older than him Gaara and was helping her father in his work so she had at least some experience. The Kazekage would have never thought he would have to put up with her wheedling, her meaningful sighs and dreamy glances. It had been all so vexing to him. First of all, he expected more professional behaviour from his assistant. Second, even if Kotori was 'hot', as Kankurou put it, she definitely wasn't his type. Finally, the third and most important thing, he wasn't interested in being pursued or hunted. He wanted to be the predator himself.

And he had already chosen his prey.

**The end of chapter 6.**

**The next chapter: Old habits die hard**

Kaze no Yaiba= Sword of Wind; the powerful ninjutsu Baki uses. I took a concept of his tattoo signifying the power to use this jutsu from one of the Sand sibs fanfics. Besides, in the manga Darui from Kumogakure also bears a tattoo which means he inherited special skills (namely the Black Lightning).

Hi no Kuni=the Country of Fire

Yue – one of my ooc, I named him after Katou Yue from "Angel Sanctuary" even if his personality is quite different

Kotori – my another ooc, I named her after Fuuma Kotori from "X/1999". It was fun to imagine the shy, submissive Kotori trying to seduce any guy, LOL


	7. 7 Old habits die hard

**Dear readers, thank you very much for your comments, favs and follows. I must say I'm flattered that even Tiger5913 found my story worthy of following. Her story "The End Of Solitude" is one of my great inspirations while writing my GaaMatsu fanfics (yes, it's plural ;P). I wish I could read more GaaMatsu stories from her.**

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**Enjoy.**

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

**Alive And Victorious**

**Chapter 7. Old habits die hard**

The sun was setting down and the night was approaching at a rapid pace. The air was becoming cooler, which was an extremely nice thing after another long, hot day. Matsuri got her window wide open, inhaling the fresh waft coming along with the falling twilight. Her friends were sitting around in her room, settled comfortably on her bed and chairs, serving themselves with the exotic dumplings Darui had brought from his last mission in Hi no Kuni. Matsuri's apartment was being visited the most often since she was the only one living alone; not that Matsuri wasn't jealous sometimes, missing her parents or anyone who would have welcomed her when she was coming back home. But she had her friends at least and was grateful for it. Thinking of her friends, she gazed at the Kazekage Tower and ran through its windows, bays and terraces but she couldn't spot anywhere the familiar slender figure with the characteristic mop of red hair.

Just like he had never been there.

"Falling into reverie again, aren't we?" Sari teased. "Yes, he's somewhere there, somewhere there..." she hummed and Matsuri sent her a thunderous look. She hated those allusions, especially because they were partly true. She never told any of her friends but she missed Gaara. Even if she wasn't sure if she really wanted to face him after the disturbing, embarrassing dream she had had, she still missed him.

"He forgot about you," Yakku uttered in a gloomy voice. "He doesn't give a damn for you."

Everyone glanced at him. Matsuri was surprised with his tone but couldn't deny her chest throbbed painfully at those words.

"Gaara-sensei do-"

"Now he is Kazekage-sama," Yakku interrupted fiercely, "and he forgot you have ever existed."

Matsuri shook her head, more to herself than to deny Yakku's words. Since she had come back home after her three-month exile another three months have passed and she hadn't seen Gaara even once. She would have seen him during the mission assignments but the task had been devolved upon Kankurou even if it was usually Kazekage who had been executing it, and the chuunin exam, which Matsuri had thought would be her chance to see her teacher again, took place when she was on the mission.

Six months... without a word, a message, anything. She still believed there had to be an explanation for his disregard though. He had been extremely busy, that was apparent. Matsuri could see herself the intense activity in the Tower. Day and night the messengers, representatives, negotiators and envoys were going in and out, and the council was debating almost constantly. She could see it... but it didn't soothe the feeling of being abandoned.

Did Gaara really took advantage of her naivety and trust and now, when he had achieved his goal, he had just deserted her?

To her dismay the tiny tears sprung to her eyes and she bit her lip. Yakku embraced her gently and when she didn't protest, he tightened his grip on her. Sari and Darui quickly left and before Matsuri could realize they were gone, Yakku brought his lips to her ear.

"Don't think about him, Matsuri," he whispered hoarsely. "He's not worth it."

She moved back and scowled at him with tears blurring her view. Yakku was probably right but she still couldn't stand him insulting her former sensei.

"Don't talk like-" she started when he just leaned forward and gave her a quick peck on the lips. Matsur gasped and flushed, blinking. She put her outstretched palms on his chest, trying to slow down the action. Yakku took one of her hands and kissed her fingertips.

"I wanted to do that for so long," he admitted in a whisper. "But he was always in my way."

Matsuri couldn't choke out a word. All pieces of the jigsaw fell together and she finally understood that none other but she herself was the girl Darui had been talking about while revealing the truth about Yakku's love interests. _He likes a girl but she had been, um, kind of interested in someone else..._ So her friends really thought she was sweet on Gaara!

"I-I-" Matsuri stuttered but Yakku didn't let her speak. He hugged her and tentatively brushed against her lips with his, the movement making Matsuri come to her senses.

"I'm sorry, Yakku, but I-" she began, stepping back and raising her hands as if trying to stop him. "You must have misunderstood... You are my friend but-"

The boy swallowed and Matsuri had to avert her eyes, hurt by the painful expression on his face.

"Is it him?" he asked in a low voice.

"No!" Matsuri, slightly irked, shook her head vehemently. "Why does everyone think so? It's not like that! The reason is I love you as a friend, like Darui-"

"I can't be your friend any longer," Yakku said, gazing away. "It's a torture to me."

Matsuri watched him, despaired. She didn't want to lose his friendship, it was too precious for her, too comforting! On the other hand, she wasn't able to return his feelings, to give him what he wanted. The tears stained her cheeks when she watched Yakku walking away and opening the door.

"If you ever change your mind, let me know," he said and quietly closed the door behind him. Matsuri hid her face in her hands, the rapid weeping shaking her shoulders. The girl threw herself on the bed and cried for two precious people she felt she had irretrievably lost that day.

o0o0o0o

Kankurou went into Kazekage's office, sighing. Until his brother finally took the position, Kankurou really had no idea how many papers, deals, contracts, tasks and problems he would face. Baki didn't overreact a bit when he told him the village's administration and accountancy were just an unruly chaos. After three months the knot had been still - still! - far from being unraveled.

The puppeteer approached Gaara's desk and for a few minutes watched him skimming through the files and making notes.

"You're still here? Let's call it a day and go home, okay?"

Gaara shook his head, his eyes still sticking to the papers. He closed another case and wrote something down.

"I don't have time to rest," he said. "I have to finish this before tomorrow."

Kankurou looked around, searching for his brother's assisstant.

"Why did you send Kotori away? You two would have finished it faster."

The redhead finally raised his eyes.

"Kankurou, I have an urgent work for you to do tomorrow," he announced and the puppeteer scratched his head, dropping into the chair in front of Kazekage's desk. He really wondered what miracle would let him add another task to his to-do list and complete it with a satisfactory result.

"And what would that be, hmm?" he murmured reluctantly.

"You will find me a new assisstant," Gaara answered emotionlessly. "If it would be a woman she has to be forty at least."

Kankurou's laughter shook the walls of the office. Gaara glared at him but it didn't stop the puppeteer who pressed his hand to his stomach, literally howling.

"No problem," he choked out at last. "Man, is she really that bothersome?"

The Kazekage didn't answer and resumed his previous activity. Kankurou watched him from under his brow.

"You know, I saw Matsuri today," he threw in casually. "She's been training with one of my genins, Darui. Her skills are quite impressive."

"Hn," Gaara muttered under his breath.

"I know it's not my business but did you see her at all after she had come back from the border post?"

The redhead shrugged lightly and dipped the quill in ink.

"You know I didn't. I had no time."

"I know but does she know as well?" Kankurou pressed, glancing at his brother intently. It was hard to believe Gaara had been willfully ignoring his former student. Did he already forget what she had done for him? He should have been able to find a few minutes to thank her personally for supporting him in his efforts to gain the villagers' acceptance. Moreover, Matsuri's punishment was caused by her fight with two chuunins during which, as Kankurou had heard, she had been called names strongly connected to her association with Gaara. Wasn't that reason enough to meet her and give her at least a few kind words?

Kazekage didn't show he had heard his brother's last words, so Kankurou raised himself to a standing position and left the office, shrugging. Gaara definitely didn't appreciate prying into his personal affairs and Kankurou, even if he felt a bit sorry for Matsuri, had enough tasks already to occupy himself with.

o0o0o0o

Matsuri waited on the training ground just like she had been told. When she came, there was nobody around, so she started to hit and kick the training dummy. Her last week had been really full of surprises. First Yakku's declaration, and now this.

A few hours earlier a genin had asked her to go to the training ground for a test. Matsuri was puzzled and anxious, wondering what test they meant but, of course, she couldn't guess at all. She decided to ask her friends later if they also received such a message, or maybe it was a stupid joke?

Raising her leg and kicking at her imaginary opponent's jaw she suddenly met the firm resistance of the sand sheet screening the dummy. Matsuri quickly bent herself and, instead of kicking, she made a cartwheel. Just after her feet reached the ground, she jumped high with her knees close to her chest, scanning the area to find her opponent. She spotted him, standing in a distance, from the corner of her eye, and immediately took out shurikens from her holster, flinging them at him. When the shield of sand rose, easily repelling her weapons, Matsuri was certain she knew who she was fighting against. She ground her teeth when she remembered the word 'test'. So this was how she was being welcomed after six months without seeing him? He obviously needed to be taught a lesson or two!

She outstretched her arms, preparing to land on the ground, when Gaara exclaimed: "Suna Shuriken!" Matsuri knew she couldn't dodge the attack so she only clenched her teeth and forced her body to relax, wincing when the whirling sand hit her shoulder, back and thigh. It hurt but she could endure it. As usual Gaara was measuring his attacks not to inflict any serious injuries on her.

She stumbled and fell but quickly pushed herself from the ground and jumped aside. She had been working hard on her taijutsu since she knew it would be very useful while trying to defeat her former teacher. Even if she wasn't physically strong she was light and therefore fast. Running in semicircle the girl watched the sand charging at her like a miniature version of Ryuusa Bakuryuu. She hastily formed the necessary seals and exclaimed: "Doton: Doroku Gaeshi!" The low rock wall appeared in front of her, blocking sand's wave for a moment. Matsuri formed seals again but this time didn't say the jutsu's name outloud. She had been drawn down under the ground and when she reached the spot where Gaara had been standing, she immediately stuck her hands out, attempting to catch her opponent's ankles. Unfortunately, she only heard the muffled order: "Sabaku Fuyuu" and her fingers locked around the empty air. She released the jutsu and emerged from under the ground, gazing around. She couldn't see Gaara anywhere but when the small streams of sand began to pour onto her she looked up at once. Frozen with shock, she observed her former teacher standing on the sand platform, easily floating in midair about thirty feet above her. She had never seen him executing this specific technique and she held her breath, still staring, until the rain of sand got thick and she remembered that Gaara was usually using Suna Shigure as a lure, distracting his opponent from the attack from below. She rapidly pushed herself from the ground and jumped high, not wasting time to glance down, where she was sure the field of the shifting sand was being formed under her feet, preparing to suck her down. It didn't take her long to realize she had been sadly mistaken. The sand, showering from above, whirled in the air like a spring and caught her within a blink. Matsuri tried to fight it off but it was futile, of course, since no human could escape Sabaku Kyuu, at least not without being able to commence very powerful ninjutsu. Suddenly the sand's grasp on her slackened a bit and she would collapse onto the ground if the countless grains didn't support her lightly until she reached the ground. Matsuri growled under her nose, frustrated with her helplessness, while Gaara jumped down onto the ground in a distance and raised his hand. The sand moved back like a low-tide and the girl adjusted her stance, hurling a smoke bomb to the ground. Whe the cloud of the smoke concealed her, she made a clone and left it standing there, forming seals for Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu for the second time. She was under the ground again and she was completely surprised when she managed to grab Gaara's ankles and drag him into the earth until only his head protruded out of it. The kunoichi emerged from under the ground but her victory had been denied when her opponent turned into sand dust, obviously being a clone. She hastily jumped aside, seeking for him, and threw kunai blades the moment she spotted him, which he easily blocked with his annoying sand. She needed this distraction, anyway, to gain time to form seals for one of her more advanced techniques, Doton Doryuusou. The hard stone spikes stuck out from the ground, hitting her opponent, but he turned into sand again.

Another clone?

Matsuri slightly bent her legs, scanning the area in all directions. In her right hand she was holding a few shurikens, the other hand was clenched in a fist. She felt the ground shaking and she ran forward with her greatest speed when suddenly the sand under her feet shifted and her calves sunk into it before it hardened like shackles, immobilising her completely.

Gaara approached his former student, watching her vain efforts to free herself. She should have known better than to waste her energy on this. Eventually, Matsuri gave up and stood motionless with her head lowered, instinctively rubbing her forearm, where the purple bruise caused by the sand shuriken's hit was forming. Gaara released her legs and came to a halt in front of her.

"Matsuri, you've grown much stronger," he praised and she blushed slightly with her gaze sticking to her feet.

"Thank you, Gaara-se-" she broke off quickly and flinched. The blush on her face grew darker and spread across her neck. "Thank you, Kazekage-sama," she corrected.

She was still holding her head low and Gaara wondered why. It was apparent she was abashed by his praise but also happy, at least it seemed so. The only thing certain was that she definitely didn't waste those last six months they hadn't seen each other. Her taijutsu was much better and she learnt a few basic doton techniques. He was sure she didn't use all techniques she knew during the fight but it was reasonable. Every shinobi needed to have an ace up their sleeve.

Matsuri shifted restlessly and twiddled her fingers but quickly stopped. The redhead could clearly see she was embarrassed. He himself felt quite awkward, too. What was he supposed to say to her after those six months during which their life had been changed so much?

"Did I... pass the test?" she asked in a squeaky, miserable voice and Gaara frowned.

"What test?" he asked, confused.

"Well... the test," she repeated and he only wanted her to look him in the eye at last. "A genin who brought the message told me I was supposed to go for a test..."

The Kazekage growled inwardly. It was Kankurou who sent the message and he obviously talked quite a bit of a nonsense to the genin who carried it.

"There wasn't any test," Gaara answered firmly. "I only wanted..."

And now he realized already what he wanted to say.

"I wanted to thank you for everything," he epmhasized, putting his hand on Matsuri's shoulder. The kunoichi blenched under the touch and her gaze finally met his. Her eyes widened and the inaudible gasp tore out from her lips while the thoughts raced through her head like crazy.

Was it only her or during the last six months her former sensei turned into the most handsome man she had ever met? It had been six months only. Impossible he would change that much. At first it seemed he still looked the same. The red hair standing in spikes; the bangs too short to cover the scar on his forehead; the piercing eyes making her feel like she was being X-rayed, like he could easily look into her soul and read everything he could find there. There was still the aura of mysterious sadness around him but he also seemed like he was a completely different person.

_And maybe_, Matsuri thought to herself with disbelief, _maybe_ _it was always there but I've never seen it. I've been completely, absolutely blind._

She swallowed, painfully aware she was staring at him in a very improper manner but she wasn't able to stop. She just couldn't take her eyes off him. Well, at least she wasn't the only one who was staring since Gaara's expression apparently matched her own. Matsuri licked her dry lips and his gaze reached the spot, making her hold her breath. Both of them flinched and it seemed they regained their senses.

"I wanted to thank you," Gaara uttered in a low voice, "for everything you've done for me."

"But I-" Matsuri answered and fell silent. It was a nice thing to be modest but denying her own deeds and their effects wouldn't be modesty but belittling herself. Of course she had done much for him. She was continuously repeating to those who listened and to those who didn't that her sensei was a good person, good person, good person... She wanted to prove with her own example that people could get close to him without fear, and finally, when he faced the ANBU assassins, she was ready to sacrifice her life to protect him.

Matsuri looked at him defiantly. Yes, she was willing to sacrifice her life, she had been called filthy names because she had been associating with him, and he did what? He had been elected Kazekage and in an instant he began to ignore her completely, like he really didn't give a damn.

"You're welcome, _Kazekage-sama_," she sneered and Gaara's eyes widened a bit. Matsuri felt her heart skip a beat while panic overwhelmed her. _He is still my superior!,_ she scolded herself inwardly. _I can't talk to him in this manner!_ The girl parted her lips to let out an apology but Gaara spoke first.

"If you would ever need anything, Matsuri," he uttered, "you can always come to me. _Anything._"

This statement perplexed her completely.

"Yes, Gaara-se-"

Old habits die hard.

Matsuri couldn't remember when was the last time she had felt so embarrassed. Her cheeks burned and she was positive she must have been red like a sunset. Ducking her head, she could only mutter: "Kazekage-sama, is this all? If it is, I'll-"

"Yes," he answered slowly. "You can go."

o0o0o0o

Matsuri entered Kazekage Tower with her teammates. They waited in front of the room where the missions were being assigned until it was their turn. They walked inside and approached the long table where the Kazekage was sitting with his new assisstant and two councilmen. From the very beginning Matsuri held her eyes sticking to the floor or her shoes while Yaoki stepped in front of them and they listened to the mission details. They were assigned to escort the merchant from Kawa no Kuni who had been heading back home after a couple of weeks spent in Sunagakure. Normal C-ranked mission with a good payment, which made Matsuri satisfied. It wasn't long ago when she had to sell some of her belongings and she needed money now more than anything else.

The kunoichi growled to herself. Since the moment they went into the room Sari had been continuously elbowing her in the ribs. Matsuri ignored it but she promised to herself that right after walking outside she would give her friend such a nudge that Sari would be sorry.

Finally, Gaara finished speaking and the team made for the door. Matsuri successfully resisted the urge to look at him. Three weeks have passed since they fought each other on the training ground. Her former teacher's words soothed a bit the feeling of rejection but Matsuri wondered if he had been honest or just polite and what would he actually do if she really went to him, needing help. Of course she wasn't going to do it. She was a shinobi and she could manage without pathetic pleas. Besides, she knew it before already and now the truth had been confirmed: they were never friends. She chose him to instruct her so he had been teaching her but his mind always wandered somewhere else and she finally got to know where.

She didn't want to think about him; she avoided it as much as she could. Now she was grateful he was a very busy man, sitting all the time in the Kazekage Tower and rarely walking down Suna's streets. She was seeing him only while being assigned the mission and each and every time she was carefully avoiding his gaze, afraid that if she would look at him it would stir up certain... feelings, which she really didn't want to put up with.

Yaoki turned to them when they exited the Tower.

"We meet by the gates in six hours," he commanded and they nodded. "See you soon."

When he walked away, Sari couldn't stay silent anymore.

"Matsuri, did you see-"

She couldn't finish the sentence since her friend nudged her at the ribs with her fist.

"Awww! What for?"

"What for?" Matsuri hissed. "For my side being bruised after were elbowing me all the time!"

Sari raised her hands in a defensive gesture.

"I only wanted you to look at him!"

"At who?" Matsuri asked even if she suspected who the person Sari meant was.

"Who?" Sari snorted. "Kazekage, of course!"

Matsuri cursed inwardly. She hated this topic being touched, especially in Yakku's presence. Since his declaration and her refusal he started to grow apart from them slowly. Sari and Darui noticed it as well but never commented on it and Matsuri never revealed what exactly Yakku had told her during their conversation.

"He was staring at you!" Sari shot and Matsuri winced slightly.

"What?" she frowned, attempting to fight the heat creeping up her cheeks. "What are you talking about?"

Sari leaned forward, putting her hands on her hips and looking Matsuri straight in the face.

"I'M TALKING ABOUT KAZEKAGE," she recited. "And he was staring at you."

Matsuri rolled her eyes nonchalantly. At least she wanted it to look that way.

"Yes," she answered ironically. "The Kazekage was staring at me. Something else?"

Sari shook her head, eyeing her friend with disbelief, while Yakku and Darui mutely listened to the conversation.

"Matsuri, are you blind?"

"Meaning?"

"Meaning he had been staring at you before, and the time before!"

"She's right," Darui suddenly confirmed and Matsuri felt anxious throbbing in her stomach. She wondered what her friends would have said if they knew about her meeting with Gaara on the training ground. They still didn't know about it and she was glad she kept it secret. Sari would never leave her alone if she knew what transpired between her friend and the Kazekage.

Yakku turned away, mumbling something about having to go, and marched down the street. The three followed his steps with their eyes but none of them commented on his odd attitude, only Matsuri glared at Sari.

"You'll see, he'll make a move now," Darui said and Matsuri didn't know if he meant Yakku or Gaara.

**The end of chapter 7.**

**The next chapter: Realization**

Hi no Kuni=Country of Fire

Doton: Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu=lit. Earth Release: Double Suicide Decapitation Technique (Eng. TV - Earth Style: Headhunter Jutsu)

Kawa no Kuni=Country of Rivers

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

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	8. 8 Realization

Dear readers, thank you very much for your comments, favs and follows. Your feedback means so much to me. Comments keep writers juices flowing! :D

Beta-reading: Katakiari (katakiari . deviantart . com)

Story image by tariah23 . deviantart . com

I have her permission to use it.

© "Naruto" is created and copyrighted by Kishimoto Masashi and owned by Shueisha Publishing Co., Ltd. and TV Tokyo.

Enjoy.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

**Alive And Victorious**

**Chapter 8. Realization**

Gaara rolled the quill in his fingers, gazing down at the paper lying in front of him on his desk. For a few minutes he had been trying to sign it but...

_Matsuri came to me today when I was at the training ground. She asked me about you._

Young Kazekage inhaled deeply and put the quill to the paper where his signature was supposed to be left.

_They should have known better when they had chosen Temari-san or Kankurou-san! Nobody wanted you to teach them but now, when they have enough of Temari-san's caustic remarks or Kankurou-san's impatience- I mean that some of them begin to regret not choosing you for the instructor. Poor ones, they don't have luck._

He wrote down five kanji marks and put the quill aside, staring at the document. After a few minutes he grabbed the paper and put it aside, propping his elbows on the desktop and leaning his chin against his palms.

_Yes, we will have missions... Will we go on missions together?_

Slowly his surroundings came into blur and the familiar face appeared in his imagination.

_Gaara-sensei, you're amazing! Right, Sari?_

The corners of his mouth unexpectedly twitched but then footsteps reverberated in the corridor and someone knocked at his office's door, asking for permission to come in. Gaara recognized Kankurou's voice.

"Come in," he answered and the puppeteer opened the door.

_Matsuri? Not my type. You can date her if you want._

The redhead watched his brother approaching the desk. He had heard many comments concerning girls' looks from Kankurou and knew his brother considered Matsuri less than average looking. Appearances meant much to Kankurou, after all that was why he couldn't quite embrace Gaara's decision to remove Kotori from assisstant's position even if he didn't openly object.

Gaara didn't know what to think of it. He himself was forced to watch people from a distance for the most of his life and it didn't take him long to learn that appearances could be very deceiving. In fact Yashamaru's betrayal was his very first experience with the mask of trivial courtesies and false beauty being ripped away, revealing the devastating, frightening truth hidden behind, and since then he began to master the ability to look into people's hearts and find out who they truly were, no matter if they were men or women.

_People are... pestering me. They tell me things... about you._

"Gaara?" Kankurou asked. "Everything fine?"

Kazekage nodded and was quickly lost in his thoughts again. He had been intently watching Matsuri from the very beginning and after a time he apparently came to an unintentional conclusion: she was beautiful.

_I just don't understand, sensei. I know you would never hurt me. I'm absolutely sure of it. I trust you. I would trust you with my life._

She was understanding, considerate, forgiving, trusting, selfless. Cheerful and kind-hearted.

Just beautiful.

_Gaara-sensei, do you remember when Shitenshounin kidnapped me? You came to help me, even if I was abducted by shinobi powerful enough to dare to challenge_ you._ And you saved me. Now I saved you. I paid off my debt. So please, don't tell me I didn't have to do that._

Clumsy at first, right before his eyes she changed into a determined, strong kunoichi.

_The senbon. She jabbed herself with it._

She was willing to sacrifice her life for him. Actually, he still couldn't believe that someone except for Naruto and his siblings would go to such lengths to protect him.

"Gaara?" Kankurou insisted, furrowing. "You haven't signed it yet?" he asked, flipping through the heap of papers lying next to Gaara's elbow.

"I've been... thinking," the redhead admitted and pulled closer the documents demanding his attention.

"Thinking?" the puppeteer echoed, surprised. "About what?"

_Do you think I'm standing in a way of Matsuri's happiness?_

"No, nothing. I'll finish it soon."

Kankurou scrutinized his face and eventually nodded, tapping with his index finger at the mission reports he had brought with himself. Gaara glanced at them and Kankurou turned away, walking towards the door. When he put his hand on the doorknob, Gaara decided to make his request at last.

"Kankurou, please do me a favour." The puppeteer looked at the Kazekage over his shoulder. "Find Baki and tell him I want to talk to him."

Kankurou's eyes narrowed slightly as if the request rised a suspicion within him but then he shrugged and nodded, his features softening.

"Sure," he answered and went out.

o0o0o0o

The jounin peeked at his former student sceptically.

"Matsuri? Why did you decide to take care of her training all of a sudden?"

Gaara calmly looked him in the eye. Of course he could avoid asking for Baki's opinion but he wanted to make things official, and Kaze no Yaiba's master was in charge of arranging training for chuunin exam candidates.

"I owe her much," the Kazekage said and Baki nodded cautiously.

"Of course," he agreed smoothly. "The girl was very useful about changing your image. It was wise to choose her for your student."  
"I didn't choose her," Gaara answered sharply. "She chose me."

Baki seemed to be slightly nonplussed but didn't comment on it, eyeing the Kazekage's features as if searching for a hidden meaning in his words.

"The council will be disgruntled."

"I know," Gaara said indifferently because the elders' protests would be the last thing which could prevent him from having things his way.

"I also think it is not a wise decision."

"And that would be because..."

"Full schedule. Many other problems to solve. Political reasons. Besides-" Baki broke off and pursed his lips.

"Besides?"

"Have you ever considered they could try to use her against you?"

Gaara shook his head.

"I don't think Matsuri would let someone use her that easily."

"She's still a naive girl," Baki insisted.

"Do I have to remind you that that 'naive girl' concussed the chuunin and nearly crushed the other's testicles when they called her a 'monster's plaything'?" Gaara asked ironically and the jounin winced with disgust at the memory.

"You may be right," he admitted, rubbing his chin. "But she wasn't, I hope?"

"She wasn't what?"

"Your plaything."

The redhead faltered, blinking.

"_Excuse me?_"

"I'm sorry for asking personal questions but your relationship poses a certain threat," Baki continued and Gaara had a strange feeling he totally lost control over the conversation.

"What relationship?" he asked in a dangerous voice, feeling compelled to knock the absurd thoughts out of Baki's head, and quick. "What threat?"

"I'm sorry to pry into your private affairs- -"

"Matsuri is not my 'private affair'!" Gaara interrupted angrily and the tall jounin glanced down upon him wordlessly. For a quite long while they looked into each other's eyes with an inflexible resolution until Baki cleared his throat, not looking convinced at all.

"As I told you earlier, my intentions are not to pry into your business until it poses a threat for you or the village," he said.

"You consider Matsuri a threat?" the redhead asked with disbelief.

"Do I really have to remind you an incident from over two years ago, concerning a certain group of ninjas who called themselves Shitenshounin?"

The Kazekage mused silently over his former teacher's words. There was no denying Baki had a point and even if he was partly mistaken about Gaara's intentions, the safety of the village had been still his highest priority and it was definitely worth listening to him.

"I see what you are hinting at," Gaara acknowledged with a nod. "I'll think about it."

o0o0o0o

Matsuri opened her eyes and sat on the bed with a rapid motion. Shaken out of the deep slumber, she couldn't realize at first what was happening. Someone banged at the door again and she recognized it as a noise that awakened her.

"Matsuri?" the person located on the other side of the door cried impatiently. "Get up, we have an alert of the highest degree!"

The girl felt her heart leaping to her throat. Such alert meant the village was in a direct danger. It could be a sandstorm but Matsuri was aware that the last sandstorm powerful enough to raise such alarm occured before she was even born. The other possibility was, and the girl shivered at the thought, a war.

The banging repeated.

"Matsuri, are you there?" the voice yelled and she recovered from her initial bewilderment and terror.

"Y-yes!" she answered loudly and jumped from her bed, not even switching the light on since the full moon, glancing through the window, was giving enough of its pale glow to distinct her familiar surroundings.

"Report at the A-10!" she had heard an order.

"I'm leaving immediately!" she yelled back, dressing her clothes on and fastening the pouch to her belt. Suddenly the moonlight became considerably obscured and Matsuri instinctively glanced through the window.

She could see the full moon on the night sky, and something was moving against its fair globe. Something huge, something enormous. The girl froze motionless, watching the exotic phenomenon with her heart pounding and the blood hissing in her ears. Then the earth shook and the giant spirals and ribbons of sand rose in the air, ascending higher and higher, until they completely obscured the view.

With the inflow of adrenaline pumped into her body with every beat of her heart, Matsuri jumped to the window and skipped across the windowsill, not troubling herself with running downstairs. She gazed around, taking the breath-taking scene in.

On each and every rooftop and terrace ninjas were standing with their heads thrown back, their eyes watching the unprecedented fight between their Kazekage and his opponent, supposedly a short blonde woman wearing a long black cloak. Civilians poured out on the streets, staring in awe at two small figures floating high above Sunagakure. The sand was whooshing literally everywhere and Matsuri, even if aware Gaara wouldn't hurt the villagers, couldn't help but being deadly scared for a moment, wondering if it was really right to let the human being wield such an overwhelming power.

Judging by the chaos on the streets the battle must have been started not so long ago. Matsuri applied chakra to her feet and ran down the adobe wall, continuously glancing at the sky. Only when she bumped into a jounin who scolded her thoroughly before he went, or rather rushed, his way, she forced herself not to raise her eyes until she reached the rallying point.

Many ninjas were already waiting there and the jounin jumped from the nearest rooftop, commanding a dozen of chuunins to follow him. Matsuri waited, shifting restlessly like the others, wiping her sweaty hands against her jacket. They were supposed to fight by their leader's side... but unfortunately, they needed to learn how to fly first.

The sand formed a giant claw Matsuri had already seen once, and gripped the enemy's arm. All the spectators let out the triumphant exclamation when the blonde woman hovered in the air with one of her sleeves empty after her arm had been ripped off her body and mercilessly crushed by Gaara's trademark jutsu. The drops of blood sprinkled around and Matsuri furrowed, watching the redhead's opponent critically. At first she had been sure it was a woman, mistaken by the long hair covering half of the enemy's face, but then it seemed to her that it could also be a young man, judging by his posture. Not that it mattered much. She would learn every detail later, after the enemy was finally defeated.

Her musings were suddenly interrupted by another jounin who announced they were going to form two squads to protect the water reservoirs by Baki's orders. Matsuri was utterly happy she could do something at last, not only stand and gape at the fight. She had her task now to complete and even if her legs were slightly faltering and her heart was hammering, she still tried to keep calm, continuously asking herself the only question. _What would Gaara-sensei do if he was in my place?_ Oddly enough, thinking about her former sensei strongly helped her to keep her cool and she threw her head back again only to see the giant white lump falling down onto the village in a hasty pace. She didn't even have time to let out a terrified squeak when the ground under her feet rippled with a low rumbling sound. Matsuri could barely stand on her legs while the unimaginable mass of sand ascended from the ground, forming a shield covering almost the entire village. The stifled sound of the explosion came from above the shield but the village wasn't harmed. The people stood still with their mouths gaping and Matsuri could easily imagine what they felt, because she felt exactly the same, the greatest admiration mixed with deadly fear.

She couldn't see what was transpiring above the vast sand shield but the longer her view was obscured the stronger her intuition grew that something was wrong. Her heart throbbed painfully and she pulled out her jouhyou, licking her dry lips and preparing for battle, while ninjas on the rooftops launched the ballist fire.

The loads of sand protecting the village began to move aside slowly, revealing Kazekage's lifeless body dangling limply in the midair, the sand sheath around him crumbling and falling down in cascades. Matsuri swallowed but the lump stuck down her throat didn't want to go away. The jouhyou slipped out from her trembling hand. Suddenly all the ninjas let out simultaneous gasp of horror when the last reserves of sand supporting the Kazekage's body dispersed and Gaara plummeted upside down.

Matsuri watched it, attempting to dash forward, but her body didn't listen to her, even if her mind was strangely clear. In a flash of unexpected, sudden realization all her thoughts, feelings and experiences crystallised into the single vivid notion that the red-haired Kazekage, who had been tumbling down to his death right before her eyes, was nothing but a world to her, and if she would have been able to swap their places by any chance she would have done it without a second thought.

Falling to her knees, Matsuri watched the enemy flying down on the awkward giant bird-like thing until the creature swept Gaara with its tail, saving him from falling but definitely not out of pity. The kidnapper started to fly away even easier since Suna ninjas had to cease fire. The entire village had been, in fact, helpless and Matsuri felt like the light had been gone from her world, leaving her standing completely alone in the darkness. Nothing could more accurately express the devastation she suffered than the desperate, terrified scream in which she recognized Kankurou's voice - the scream that had shaken the earth and the sky, echoing from Sunagakure's cliffs.

"GAARA! ! !"

**The end of chapter 8.**

**The next chapter: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger**

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	9. 9 What doesn't kill you

I wanted to thank **Annabella Colt** for betareading this chapter since my regular betareader is currently too busy to help me.

© "Naruto" is created and copyrighted by Kishimoto Masashi and owned by Shueisha Publishing Co., Ltd. and Studio Pierrot.

Enjoy.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

**Alive And Victorious**

**Chapter 9. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger**

Matsuri was sitting by the fire, watching the dancing flames. All other ninjas were settled by other several fires, talking, laughing and even singing. They celebrated the successful mission to support Kazekage rescuers, and only few of them didn't look very happy, glancing at the stretcher where Elder Chiyo's body had been placed after being wrapped in the black bag.

Matsuri was one of those shinobi who didn't rejoice too zealously. Even if she had been relieved beyond all imagination, the shame burned stronger, like a brand. There were only two words that could describe what she had experienced: public humiliation.

She wanted to vanish into thin air after making herself a laughing stock. When her most precious person, supposedly dead, sat up and looked around with widened eyes, the eyes which just a minute ago seemed to be closed forever, Matsuri couldn't control herself. At the wonderful sight her mouth had gone on its own and the most embarrassing words had spilled.

_Gaara-sama is quiet, cool, strong, hot, elite _—

She quickly grabbed the thin wooden stick and jabbed at the fire with it, causing the bunch of sparks explode. The heat burst into her face and the tears welled in her eyes as a result. She moved back, painfully aware that the fire he was sitting at was just next to her on the left. There were other ninjas sitting near him, two teams from Konoha and Temari, but Matsuri just couldn't look there let alone join.

She wanted it. Oh yes, she wanted nothing as much as revel in the sight of his gorgeous features she thought she had lost for all eternity, but her hurt pride didn't let her even glance at him, so she only stared at the fire, attempting to forget the moment when she tried to support Gaara only to having been shoved away.

She had just realized that she actually fell for him, only to be humiliated in this manner.

_Publicly._

From the corner of her eye Matsuri could see Sari making slow circles around the spot where Gaara was sitting, apparently trying to find an excuse to join him and his companions by any means. Well, let her try. Matsuri wasn't going to interfere.

Someone leaned over her.

"Matsuri, everything fine? You seem to be rather glum."

Dismayed, Matsuri raised her face to meet Kankurou's gaze. Unwilling to let anyone learn how embarrassed and hurt she had felt, the kunoichi forced the flimsy smile upon her mouth and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand.

"I'm just exhausted and so much that relieved Kazekage-sama had been saved."

_Kazekage-sama._ Yes, that was how she ought to call him. It would ler her fully comprehend the distance between them, the distance standing between Kage and ordinary genin-level kunoichi.

Kankurou peered at her in silence and Matsuri was grateful for the red and orange reflections the burning fire was casting upon her face, surely shrouding the blush which surfaced her cheeks.

"I see," the puppeteer murmured and looked at his younger brother who had been still listening to Naruto's constant blabbering. Matsuri followed his gaze and her heart thumped faster at the sight of her former sensei's profile.

"Naruto-san is Kazekage-sama's friend, right?" she quickly asked, forcing herself to look at the blonde Konoha ninja. "I've never seen Kazekage-sama so... comfortable in anyone's presence."

Kankurou nodded slowly.

"They have much in common," he said mysteriously.

"I remember Naruto-san fighting Seimei," she commented. "He had been seriously injured and exhausted but his determination to protect Gaara-sama had been absolute."

_No, not Gaara-sama! Kazekage-sama._

"That's what I meant," Kankurou said. "Each one of them would have ran across entire world to save the other."

In this very moment Naruto burst into ringing laughter. Temari and Sakura laughed as well, while Kazekage only smiled with his eyes.

Tears threatened to spill from Matsuri's eyes at the sudden flood of tenderness.

"Why is it that way?" she asked, avoiding Kankurou's gaze.

"I told you before," he muttered. "They have much in common."

Matsuri considered the notion strange to say the least since if there was any person in the world who was everything what Gaara wasn't, this person would be Naruto - noisy, cheerful, sociable and energetic. What was the thing they could have in common, Matsuri had no idea.

"I don't understand," she admitted at last.

The puppeteer peeked at her.

"Well, it's of no great importance now."

Matsuri looked again at ninjas gathered by the next fire and to her dismay she noticed Kazekage watching her. It took all her will power not to flinch but only gaze away calmly.

_The public humiliation._

Suddenly she realized Kankurou had been talking to her. She smiled sweetly and chirped. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. Can you repeat, please?"

The puppeteer sent her long, incomprehensible look.

"I said I was going to sit down there," he said, pointing at the next fire with his thumb. "Are you going with me?"

"I think I, uh —" Matsuri stuttered. "I need to rest after the run and, um, there's a crowd already..."

The last statement was an exaggeration since even Sari managed to push herself into the circle and now was sitting next to Temari and staring at her favourite Kazekage with admiration. Kankurou didn't comment on it though. He only nodded and calmly paced towards his siblings.

o0o0o0o

Three days have passed since their return to Sunagakure and Matsuri couldn't take it anymore. She turned the light off, locked the door behind her and ran downstairs. The icy night air gave her chills and she briefly thought of coming back and getting a shawl, but she quickly dropped it. Instead she rushed forward through the sleeping village, barely encountering anyone. She was sure there were ANBU somewhere there, observing her, but she wasn't going to leave the village. She only planned to make it to the tombs.

Soon the girl reached the neat line of the white gravestones along the cliff. She headed towards the newest one without hesitation, and came to a halt right before it. Swallowing, she fought to utter right words but they seemed to be stuck down her throat, and she only brushed the smooth surface of the stone with her fingertips.

Several feet below there was an urn buried with the ashes of the woman whom Matsuri had seen maybe once or twice in her life, but that stranger gave her back the most precious thing she thought she had irretrievably lost. The kunoichi leaned forward and whispered. "Thank you, Elder Chiyo. Thank —"

Then it happened at last. The tears of pain, loneliness, relief, gratitude and shame escaped her eyes and Matsuri pressed her palms to her lips, suppressing the weeping that shook her entire body. Her lungs were burning, but after three days of bottling it all up she had no choice but to let the tears out and cry, or she would have gone crazy. The images had been still haunting her - the lifeless body plummeting upside down, the same body lying peacefully on the soft grass, the red bangs tousled by the light breeze, the eyelids, darkened from long-standing insomnia, closed forever...

"Thank you, Elder Chiyo!" Matsuri sobbed, falling to her knees in front of the tomb. "I — I think I love him!"

o0o0o0o

Matsuri threw kunai blades at Yakku and jumped high, attempting to kick her opponent in his face, but he wasn't fooled. He only leaned backward slightly and reached for her ankle. Matsuri pretended she had lost her balance but when her outstretched arm reached the groud she pushed herself from it at once, kicking at Yakku's stomach with her other leg. The boy gasped and fell backwards but didn't loosen his grasp on her ankle, causing her lose her balance for real. Matsuri didn't give up though; she managed to slip the jouhyou out of the pouch and threw the rope over Yakku's neck. When he gripped her wrist and attempted to twist it, Matsuri mercilessly drew the rope tighter until her opponent choked and raised his hand, showing her the sign which meant his surrender.

The kunoichi released her weapon and rolled onto her back, panting. Both of them rested for a long while, ignoring the trickles of sweat streaking down their faces and the blazing rays of sun burning into their skin.

Matsuri was the first who sat up slowly. She sipped the water from her canteen and corked it up carefully.

"Let's continue," she said, coiling the jouhyou.

Yakku covered his eyes with his arm and chuckled lowly.

"I'm worn out," he said, getting his own canteen. "Not that we have much time left."

"That's right," Matsuri answered, breathing deeply. "That's why we don't have time to lie idle."

She was exhausted as well, of course she was. Yakku didn't go easy on her, just as she asked him, and she was ruthless as well. Her entire body begged for rest but she ignored its call. She had to train harder. She had to be stronger.

The tiny voice at the back of her head continuously whispered that she had no chance to become strong enough to protect _him_. _He_ surpassed her so much and he still had been defeated while fighting to protect the village. Matsuri decided to ignore the voice and the aching sensation it caused. She was aware she was weak in comparison to _him_ but all she could do was to clench her teeth and work harder. She had to be stronger, simple as that, and if she would fight to protect _him_ against the enemy more powerful than her, she would do what _he_ had shown her that was needed to be done.

She would gladly give her life to save _him_.

This determination made her disregard any sign of exhaustion. Even when her old injury troubled her, she didn't let anyone know and continued to train, pushing away any thoughts concerning the certain person. In her mind she avoided even saying his name because it hurt much more than any hit and cut could hurt, but exactly for the sake of that person she must have grown stronger.

She wanted so much he could have been proud of her.

Yakku slowly pushed himself to a sitting position and sighed. "You're made of iron," he commented and glanced up at her. Matsuri averted her eyes, not willing to acknowledge what she could see in his gaze. Since Kazekage's abduction Yakku started to associate himself with his friends again. He had been trying not to make the impression he had been imposing himself but Matsuri still felt like she was a mouse and he was a raptor circling above her. She carefully treated him exactly the same way she treated Darui, to let him know he shouldn't let his hopes raise. Sometimes though, when there were only two of them, she felt uncomfortable since it didn't seem the message was sinking in as planned. That was also why she wanted to continue practicing and not indulge into the conversation.

"We can train on the other day," she said nonchalantly, assuming Yakku was really too tired to continue. "Our time is almost up. Thanks for help."

He stood up, brushed the sand and dust off his trousers, and put his hands in his pockets.

"You're welcome," he answered with a tone suggesting that in fact Matsuri could return the favour. "Will you go with me to eat something?"

Matsuri opened her mouth to utter a few words of a soft refusal when Yakku added: "My treat."

She scanned his face in silence, pursing her lips. A free meal was something she couldn't resist too hard since she was still short on money, but she had to think how would Yakku take her consent. Would he decide she wanted get closer to him which she had earlier declared she didn't?

Matsuri nodded slowly at last, hoping she had already given him to understand that they would never be more than friends. Her heart was already captured by someone and it wasn't Yakku. Not that the latter was aware of it; all of Matsuri's friends were completely oblivious in that matter and she planned it to stay that way until she managed to drive the unwelcome feelings away. Unfortunately, she couldn't make any progress, no matter how hard she tried.

o0o0o0o

Gaara felt his heart flutter when Yaoki's team entered the room. This was how people began to call the four genins who were most often sent on missions with the young captain. Matsuri was staying behind, her eyes sticking to the floor. Every time she had been walking into that room Gaara was trying to meet her eyes, to no avail. He watched her intently though and noticed that there had been a subtle, but profound shift in her personality. Next to her usual cheerfulness and mildness there was an intensity about her, a passion and keen determination that was almost tangible and Gaara wondered what was the cause of it.

The young captain carefully listened to the detailed explanation, oblivious to the fact he was a special person for Gaara as well. Yaoki had been a very first Sunagakure ninja who called the future Kazekage his comrade and fought ANBU assassins to protect him. The redhead cherished this memory even if never showing it and Yaoki probably had no idea what Kazekage thought of him.

Yaoki took a scroll from Kazekage's hands and the team marched away obediently. Gaara couldn't stop himself from following Matsuri's figure with his gaze, wondering why his former student had been completely ignoring him. He recalled their last encounter and the uncharacteristic sneer in her voice when she had uttered: "You're welcome, _Kazekage-sama_." That undertone had had a certain meaning, which Gaara couldn't figure out, but it seemed Matsuri had wanted to hint at something. Something she couldn't or didn't want to say out loud.

_Kazekage-sama_.

She had said his title as if she wanted to emphasize the distance between them, as if she wanted to let him know... what?

The next group of ninjas came in and Gaara couldn't continue his musings until the work was done. Two hours later all the missions were eventually assigned and Kazekage headed towards his office. Walking down the corridor, he was glancing through round windows, still thinking about the conversation he had with his former student.

"I wanted to thank you for everything," he had said and she replied: "But I —" It seemed she had wanted to deny his words but then she broke off, and her shy expression changed into the one revealing pride and self-confidence. "You're welcome, _Kazekage-sama,_" she had mocked even if almost instantly her features reflected the shock and fear that must have hit her when she realized what had slipped out from her lips.

Gaara wondered what she had been thinking then. It wasn't like Matsuri he knew. Remembering the old times when they were still teacher and student, it seemed to him that Matsuri had been trying to befriend him then, to get him into her world, until she realized it wasn't possible. She had never expressed any disappointment or anger though, even if it seemed she had been sad sometimes. Then she had earned new friends and Gaara had said to himself she definitely wouldn't regret if she would grow apart from her teacher.

Now he knew he hadn't been honest to himself. It was not about Matsuri's regret at all. It was him who had been keeping her at arm's length, for the fear of rejection had held him too strong in its grasp. Gaara felt compelled to test his student in every possible way before it would be too late and he would trust her, and Matsuri... Matsuri decided to sacrifice her life for him. It was her selfless act that made all his struggling futile, and before he could even realize what was happening, he found himself trusting his student completely. Moreover, she seemed not to realize it as well. Oblivious to his feelings, she didn't even notice when they evolved from mere teacher-student relationship into something deeper and more intense. Gaara wondered briefly if his siblings had also encountered such complications with their own students but he wasn't going to raise the topic with them. Not when he could still remember Kankurou's obvious attempts to make him give specific details about the relationship between him and Matsuri. And if the matters weren't complicated enough, Matsuri had been sent to the border post as a punishment for temporary disabling two chuunins on his account, and when she was gone, the council finally decided to let him take Kazekage's position.

_You're welcome, Kazekage-sama_.

The redhead froze in his steps when the realization hit him. Matsuri was hurt! Kankurou must have been right when he pointed out Gaara's inadequate attitude towards his former student. During last two years she had been constantly supporting his efforts and definitely deserved something more than being ignored after coming home from her three-month's exile. Not that Kazekage was truly able to give her what she deserved. He had been way too busy then. But still, Matsuri's selflessness obviously had its limits and he exceeded them too far, eventually getting what he most likely deserved - a few words delivered with such disdain and irony he had never thought Matsuri was capable of uttering.

Yes, she must have been hurt. Appointing a session on the training ground, he planned to erase the grudge and let her know she had been still important to him regardless of his actions, but things went out of control when he had seen her practicing taijutsu on the training dummy. The teacher in him got the upper hand and he attacked Matsuri to learn how far her skills progressed. He must have admitted she did really well and he was proud of her. Then he approached her and was quite perplexed with feelings that overwhelmed him while facing her for the first time from six months. He found it rather hard to speak at all and when he eventually expressed his gratitude, he had got a sneer in reward. It stung, and he had been hurt as well until he could fully comprehend what Matsuri's attitude meant.

The Kazekage walked into his office and greeted his assistant. Kashiko sat down after a moment and resumed her work.

"Yes, Kazekage-sama?" she asked while noticing he had been still standing in the same spot.

"Kashiko-san, please reorganize the schedule so I could train my student twice a week. Also, please notify her to come to me tomorrow evening."

"Matsuri-chan?" Kashiko said, before he could continue. Gaara nodded, quite surprised Kashiko knew his student's name. "Of course, Kazekage-sama," the assistant continued. "Will Thursdays and Fridays be fine?"

"I'm leaving it to you," Gaara only said, entering the next room where his actual office had been. He wondered how would Matsuri react to the news. He hoped her reaction would be just the same as on that day on the training ground. When he had come closer to her and touched her arm, Matsuri finally raised her head and looked him in the eye, immediately taking on expression that surprised and pleased him. Her eyes widened and sparkled, her cheeks reddened and her lips parted, letting out the small enthralled gasp, revealing how much she liked what she had seen. If he could ever read human expressions, there was no mistake Matsuri enjoyed the sight, and she enjoyed it much. Since then he decided to try testing the boundaries of their relationship but his duties were always getting in the way, not even mentioning Akatsuki's successful attempt at abducting and killing him while unsealing Ichibi from his body. After that he needed time for himself, he needed to accept the enormous gift Elder Chiyo had favoured him with, not even mentioning learning how to satisfy one of the most primary needs he had been so long denying himself due to Shukaku's presence in his body and mind.

Remembering the moments after his revival he could find they were ones of the strangest in his life. Everything seemed to be very clear and vivid, and in the same time blurry and incomprehensible. Matsuri had been also there, he could hear her rejoicing voice, but the words had been hard to distinguish. Then the shock had struck him when he had heard the explanation of Elder Chiyo's actions, and he faltered, only to sense someone's gentle supporting touch on his back and shoulder. "Gaara-sama, are you okay?" the caring voice uttered into his ear, and he growled under his breath, pushing that person - her - away. Dismissing the obvious sign of her devotion.

Matsuri - because he was certain now it had been her - obviously had more reasons than he expected for ignoring him. Most likely, she believed he didn't give a damn about her. It was the highest time to show her how much she had been wrong.

o0o0o0o

Matsuri entered Kazekage's office but the assistant hadn't been there. The girl shifted restlessly, wondering what to do. The best thing would be probably to wait for Kashiko-san's return so the assistant could announce her arrival. On the other hand Matsuri didn't know for how long the assistant would be gone, and she definitely wanted to finish the matter as quickly as she could.

Approaching the door on the other side of the room, Matsuri raised her hand, preparing to knock. Before she did, she promptly withdrew her fist and peered at it from close-up.

Her hand was visibly shaking.

The kunoichi drew in the prolonged breath. There was no way she could ignore Kazekage's order so she had to walk into his office even though her knees were slightly buckling. She knew that they wouldn't stop, not at the close prospect of meeting the person she fancied, so she decided to pretend everything was fine.

_Knock, knock,_ her fingers tapped at the wooden surface and the muffled "Come in" could be heard from the inside. Matsuri set the door ajar and peeked inside, to catch a glimpse of her superior working at his desk. When he noticed her, his hand froze over the scroll he was apparently about to sign.

"Matsuri, is that you?" he asked awkwardly and stood up, walking from behind the desk and heading towards her. The girl closed the door behind her, wondering if she didn't let someone make a fool of her after all. It it was a stupid joke, she would find the one who made it and drag him into the desert, to bury him into the sand with only his head sticking out. If it was not a joke, Ga — no, _Kazekage-sama_ shouldn't look so nervous. The message had been clear after all; she was supposed to meet him at 6 p.m.

Waiting for him to explain the situation, Matsuri pressed her trembling hands to her sides, her eyes sticking to the wrinkle on his robe. She couldn't guess why she had been called here but if something was wrong and she was going to get another three months on a border post as a punishment, she wanted to know it already without having to deal with her unwelcome feelings, which were roaring much too high for her liking at the moment.

"I've got a message today that I'm... uh, that I have to come here at 6 p.m." she stammered at last, unable to endure silence any longer. The Kazekage let out surprised murmur and went back to his desk, shuffling through the papers.

"That's right, I asked Kashiko-san to call you here but I haven't read the confirmation yet," he said with a nod and Matsuri relaxed a bit. She obviously wasn't going to be punished in any way... well, at least not intentionally, because Kazekage's very presence, especially when he had been standing so close to her, was exactly like punishment to Matsuri, the most painful punishment in the world.

"How was the mission?" the redhead asked all of a sudden and Matsuri glanced at him, bewildered.

"Fine, thank you," she answered quickly, and to her dismay her voice trembled a bit. Swallowing, she ducked her head and stared at the floor. Did they send after her only because Kazekage wanted to ask her how the mission went? "I'm sure Yaoki-san had reported the mission already," she continued, raising her gaze a bit but carefully avoiding Kazekage's eyes.

"Yes, he had," the redhead answered shortly.

The silence reigned again and Matsuri felt her self-confidence rapidly decreasing to none. The girl forced herself to breathe steadily, considering the meeting her personal ordeal. _What doesn't kill you makes you stronger_, she repeated inwardly. And she wanted to be stronger, did she?

"Matsuri, your skills have progressed far enough to let you take the chuunin exam," the Kazekage said and Matsuri looked at him, blinking. The chuunin exam... in February? In three months? To be honest she had already thought she deserved the rank but why she had been called to Kazekage's office to receive the news? The jounin who had chosen to take care of her training should have met her in person, not devolve the task to Kazekage himself.

"Thank you, Kazekage-sama," she answered officially with a nod, expecting to be dismissed at any time. The impatience flickered over redhead's expression.

"Wait on the first training ground at sunrise on Thursday," he ordered and Matsuri bowed her head.

"I will, Kazekage-sama," she answered with a tiny voice. "But... who is in charge of my training?"

The Kazekage crossed his arms over his chest and sent her a long look she couldn't quite puzzle out, and then he finally answered.

"I am."

**The end of chapter 9.**

**The next chapter: Stay still, my stupid heart!**

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

A/N.

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	10. 10 Stay still, my stupid heart!

_**Dear readers, if I could write thousands of words to entertain you, you could certainly give me a few words of feedback, don't you think? ;P**_

Betareading: **Annabella Colt**

Story image by tariah23 . deviantart . com

I have her permission to use it.

© "Naruto" is created and copyrighted by Kishimoto Masashi and owned by Shueisha Publishing Co., Ltd. and Studio Pierrot.

Enjoy.

**Alive And Victorious**

**Chapter 10. Stay still, my stupid heart!**

Matsuri walked down one of Sunagakure's streets with her legs wobbling. Her thoughts were uncontrollably rushing in circles, like the clouds of the sand dust stirred up by the wind. In her imagination she could only replay again and again the scene which took place an hour ago in Kazekage's office. All her efforts to keep her calm were futile. She didn't even know where she was going, and when someone yelled her name straight into her ear, she faltered but then the strong arm supported her, not letting her fall.

The kunoichi raised her head and stared at her friend, stunned.

"Darui..." she breathed, leaning against him heavily.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "Are you sick?"

Matsuri shook her head slowly, brushing her forehead with her palm.

"No, I'm just—" she broke off, trying to gather her thoughts. "I'm only—"

"You sure you didn't get a sunstroke?" he insisted, pressing his hand against her brow. "No, your forehead is okay..."

"Darui," Matsuri groaned desperately. "Please, walk me home!"

"Uh..." Darui bit his lip. "Alright," he said, scrutinizing Matsuri's face. "But you will explain this to Sana later, okay?"

They had to wander through almost entire village before they reached the building where Matsuri lived. They climbed upstairs and Matsuri opened the door with her hand trembling.

"What happened?" Darui pressed when the door closed behind them. Matsuri hesitated, unable to find adequate words. At last she decided just to start with the message she had received this afternoon. Darui listened to her with a serious expression, not interrupting even once. The story didn't take long and when Matsuri ceased talking at last, both of them mutely pondered over unexpected turn of events.

"Man, what a total mess," Darui commented, shaking his head. "Did you agree?"

Matsuri shrugged.

"I didn't say 'yes' or 'no' but I didn't think I had any choice. It was an order, wasn't it?"

"Did he say it was an order?" the sandy-haired shinobi asked, frowning.

"He didn't say it this way, but..." Matsuri began to replay the scene in her mind. "I thought it was obvious."

Darui watched her intently as if he wanted to read her mind. His lips parted like he was about to utter something but any words didn't come. He only sighed and averted his eyes, looking through the window in the direction of Kazekage Tower.

"Do you want it?" he asked, crossing his arms on his chest. Matsuri shuddered and blushed slightly.

"I don't know," she answered helplessly, lowering her head.

And that was completely true. Not so long ago she would be happy if something like this had happened, but now there were too many questions left without answers to carelessly marvel at the prospect. At first Kazekage hadn't acted like he was going to give her any orders, until he said _Wait __on the first training ground at sunrise on Thursday_. It sounded exactly like an order, but didn't Kazekage look at her like he'd been waiting for her approval? In the old times, Matsuri would be able to read his mood. She had to develop that ability due to his aloofness. But now they weren't seeing each other on a daily basis, and her former teacher's thoughts and reasons were a mystery to her. Nevertheless the fact remained: she had been ordered, or asked, to train under him to make herself prepared for taking chuunin exam in three months. The most important question was why. Why did he do this? Why did he remember her all of a sudden?

"Training under him, you will become a powerful shinobi," Darui stated, interrupting her thoughts. "You will develop all your skills. Though..."

Matsuri raised her eyebrows questioningly.

"If anything happens, it will be your word against his," he said in a warning tone.

"If anything—" Matsuri echoed but her friend didn't let her finish.

"You know what I mean," he interjected, looking into her eyes. Matsuri bit her lip and lowered her eyes, disconcerted.

Too many questions without answers, definitely.

o0o0o0o

Tucking in the late dinner, Kankurou briefly glanced at his younger brother, but the latter didn't seem to notice, lost in his thoughts. The puppeteer exchanged looks with Temari, who apparently was curious as well what was the cause of Gaara's sudden reverie. Any of them didn't ask him about the unexpected decision even if they had many speculations concerning their youngest brother's attitude.

After Gaara took Kazekage's seat, he seemed to ignore Matsuri completely, to the point of making Kankurou wonder if it was possible his younger sibling had really been such a selfish, arrogant jerk. The puppeteer had been always certain he knew Gaara quite well. That was why he mentioned Matsuri during one of the conversations but the redhead seemed to ignore any hints. Now it turned out that even if Gaara was silent about his student, seemingly disregarding her, he was still thinking about her, until he decided to train her again.

Kankurou steered the conversation towards the genins the three of them have once instructed, and finally decided to mention a certain brown-haired girl.

"I've seen Matsuri today in the shopping district," he said casually. "She's been selling things. Weird, isn't it?"

"It's not the first time," Temari said, shrugging, and raised the chopsticks to her mouth. "I've seen her as well." She chewed on the food and swallowed. "I had to chase away the loathful guy who didn't want to buy her trinkets but... something else."

The words definitely knocked Gaara out of pensive mood but Kankurou pretended not to notice.

"I wonder what's going on," he said outloud.

"Maybe she needs extra money?" Temari replied with a frown.

"I think she rather doesn't have _enough_ money," Kankurou contradicted.

"But she's getting paid for missions—" Temari said and the puppeteer rolled his eyes.

"Oh please. How much do you think she earns as a genin?"

"Well, probably not too much," his sister agreed and began to ponder. "Hey, Gaara," she turned to their youngest sibling. "What do you think about it?"

The redhead thought for a moment as if carefully measuring the words he was about to utter.

"As far as I know her family from Hanabira was providing for her," he explained and Kankurou nodded in acknowledgment.

"Has she ever got any support from our fund for orphans?" the puppeteer inquired and Temari shrugged, while Gaara slowly shook his head.

"No, I don't think so," he said, only to be silenced by his sister.

"Okay, that's enough prying into other people's business," she announced, lifting herself to a standing position and putting her hands on her hips. "You know the rules. My turn - cooking, your turn - washing dishes."

Kankurou growled quietly but maybe it was the best not to draw out the conversation, even if there were still too many questions left without answers. If Gaara really cared for his student he would touch the topic with her sooner or later, and eventually the three of them would find out if Matsuri needed any help. Not that she would happily reveal the secret; Kankurou suspected she would be embarrassed. Nevertheless, any shinobi couldn't afford being malnourished and short on weapons, and someone had to introduce that truth to her, even if it meant embarrassing her.

o0o0o0o

Striding down the street, Gaara couldn't even notice the fresh morning breeze tousling his hair and stirring up the small clouds of the sand dust. All his thoughts were focused on the nearest three hours of the training, the first training he would have with Matsuri in ten months. So many things had happened since then but Gaara hoped to rebuild the bond that held them together once. He wished they could easily go back to the way they were back then. He would listen to Matsuri's wholehearted laughter and look into her sparkling, mirthful eyes. The list of his wishes was much longer but he had to learn first what Matsuri thought of their reunion. Judging from her actions it was hard to tell, since she avoided him in a strange way, just as if she had been afraid.

The Kazekage entered the training ground and walked towards his student, watching her attentively. She didn't welcome him like he was used to, with a genuinely happy smile proving she really enjoyed his company. Instead she kept her eyes low and when he stopped in front of her, she bowed slightly.

"Kazekage-sama," she said formally, her voice trembling a bit as if she was nervous. Gaara was a bit surprised since he knew Matsuri was doing quite well as a shinobi and there was no reason for her to get nervous. Was she scared of him then? It would be strange because there was no one who would know better than her that fighting him while training didn't put anyone in danger. Besides, Matsuri had already expressed her trust in him. _I know you would never hurt me_.

And he wouldn't, definitely.

"Are you ready?" Gaara inquired and the kunoichi took a stance, her body a far cry from relaxed. Looking into her eyes, which she averted almost instantly, he discovered there was no joy in them, but only trepidation. Forcing the cork out of the gourd, he recalled Kankurou's words his brother had uttered to his chuunin friend the other day, both unaware that Gaara was listening to them. They had been commenting on village's girls' looks, and Kankurou had said about Matsuri:_ She might be a bit prettier now, but she grew too shy for my liking._

The sand floated from the gourd and Matsuri watched it intently, immediately jumping back to measure the scale of the oncoming attack. She was still avoiding Gaara's eyes, which was the best strategy only while fighting Sharingan wielders, and the redhead wondered if her attitude had something to do with her shyness. Actually Matsuri had never been shy in his presence before, but if she had developed such trait during last ten months, so be it. The shyness would be much easier to deal with than the wheedling, let alone more challenging.

He raised his arm and sent a coil of sand in Matsuri's direction. It was obvious she got used to his fighting style, concentrating only on repelling his sand attacks. When the sand briefly obscured his student's view, Gaara took out several kunais from the holster and flung them at Matsuri. Just as he expected, it surprised her more than it should, and she was barely able to ward the attack off with one of her doton techniques. She quickly adjusted the stance, and he called his sand back, surveying Matsuri while holding his arms crossed on his chest.

"A routine may be dangerous," he remarked and the girl nodded quickly, her cheeks flushing. "You should never let yourself believe you know everything about your opponent."

She swallowed visibly, her expression miserable, and Gaara couldn't help but being astonished. Matsuri had never acted this way since their first meeting two and a half years ago. Thus there must have been change in his plans; discovering the reason for her weird attitude would be the first step.

o0o0o0o

Fastening her pouch, Matsuri approached the door reluctantly and put her forehead against the smooth, cool surface with the miserable sigh. Her hand had locked around the doorknob but she couldn't force herself to press it.

She didn't want to go there. She just didn't. Every Thursday and Friday she had been tortured for three long, excruciating hours and she just had enough.

_Enough._

Tears formed in the corners of her eyes when she knelt in front of the door with her shoulders sagging. The chuunin exam was to take place in two weeks and then it would be over. The only problem was she couldn't endure those two weeks. Her feelings had reached the point where she wasn't able to hide them anymore. She wasn't able to hide the blush overcoming her cheeks when Gaara was looking at her. She wasn't able to control the trembling in her voice while talking to him. She wasn't able to calm down the wild beating of her heart when he was occasionally touching her. She even wasn't able to think of him as Kazekage any longer. He was just Gaara for her - and she cursed him for it.

_Enough._

The worst thing of all was his comfortable, easy attitude around her. The way he was talking to her and looking at her; the way he was _touching_ her! It was a completely new and shocking trait, which puzzled her to no end. She could remember his old self quite vividly, the way he had been always shying away from any physical contact except for fighting, until she had learnt to restrain herself from what had been so natural to her. She had grown to respect his aloofness only to watch it slowly disappear at time when she needed it the most.

_Enough._

Wiping the tears and sniffling, Matsuri steeled herself for another three hours of torment. In two weeks it would be over, she would become chuunin and Gaara would have no reason for seeing her again. She couldn't decide what was worse, to see him twice a week, having to strictly conceal what was blooming inside her, or the prospect of not seeing him at all.

The kunoichi ran downstairs and rushed towards the spot where they were to meet. Gaara was waiting there already, talking to the masked ANBU guard. Matsuri stopped in a distance, assuming she shouldn't interfere, but Gaara gazed at her and nodded as if inviting her to join. She walked towards them slowly and he actually seemed to wait for her, so she quickened her pace.

"Kazekage-sama, I'm very sorry for being late," she said to him, bowing, and turned to the masked shinobi. "ANBU-oji-san."

The masked shinobi nodded at her wordlessly.

"We're going now. We're back in three hours," Gaara announced in the tone of finality.

"But, Kazekage-sama!" the ANBU argued. "It's about your safety! If the Akatsuki—"

The redhead shook his head impatiently. It seemed they were discussing the matter for quite a long time and none of them was convinced at all.

"The Akatsuki had already taken away what they wanted," the Kazekage said. "Besides, I can't always work on my techniques within the borders of the village because I have to restrain myself not to do any harm."

Matsuri wasn't content at all at those words. Did he mean he wasn't going to restrain himself this time?

"Send extra ANBU patrols to check on the vicinity," Gaara commanded. "Notify them not to get close to us."

"Yes, sir," the ANBU answered shortly and glanced at Matsuri. The girl could swear that in his eyes visible through the mask holes she caught the glimpse of sympathy.

o0o0o0o

Gaara signaled the end of the training and Matsuri just collapsed on the sand in the spot she had been standing, her chest rising and falling rapidly. The redhead was certain that if he would have come closer to her, he could have heard the frenzy beating of her heart.

He had never gone on her so hard before. Naturally, he didn't unleash his entire power since it would have got Matsuri killed, but he had done enough to render her completely exhausted. Kunai blades, shurikens, senbons, and summoning scrolls were lying around scattered on the sand. The girl rested motionless amongst them, with her hand still clinging to the jouhyou in the last, half-conscious effort. Thick drops of sweat were breaking out of her skin and her outspread legs and arms trembled slightly, obviously overexerted. Not that she had uttered even one word of complaint; she fought him until the end, clenching her teeth and eventually showing more determination than he had ever seen while practicing with her. Even if she didn't officially get the rank yet, for him she was a chuunin already, quite skilled and reliable one.

Since Matsuri didn't do anything to shield herself from the blazing rays of the midday sun, he quietly shifted his sand until it hovered above girl's body, forming a thin screen. At first Matsuri didn't even realize it, probably thinking it was a cloud that momentarily obscured the sun, but after a few minutes she frowned and slowly opened her eyes, blinking and then suddenly lifting herself to a sitting position. She looked around quite frantically until she spotted him in the distance. The redhead began to walk towards her, watching her getting her canteen from the pouch. She put it to her lips and after a few gulps moved it away, shaking it with irritation.

Gaara stopped next to her and reached into his own pouch, aware that his canteen had been still half full. He sat down next to Matsuri, who was wiping the sweat from her face with her sleeve, and handed her the canteen.

"Please, take mine," he offered and she gave him that look again, confused and scared.

"I—" she started, licking her lips, and visibly blenched when he held her palm gently and locked her fingers around the canteen. Her entire expression yelled that she only wanted to move away from him, exactly like he would have once done, many months ago. He could unmistakably feel the trembling in her fingers and decided to test her further, looking into her eyes while he was still holding her hand.

From observing her interactions with her friends he could tell quick embraces, pecks on the cheeks, holding hands and light nudges and punches were absolutely normal to them, and Matsuri didn't look particularly embarrassed while receiving and giving them. Yet now she refused to look him in the eye and eventually attempted to free her hand inconspicuously, while the blush on her cheeks, elicited by an intense training, grew a few shades deeper. Gaara let her hand go, watching her hesitantly open the canteen, but when she tasted a first sip of water, her hesitance vanished in a flash and she drank greedily until the thin streak trickled down her chin. Matsuri drew the canteen back at once and collected the drops of liquid with her tongue, obeying one of the most important rules which ninjas of the desert had to abide by: save the water under any circumstances.

"Matsuri," the redhead uttered and she glanced at him, wiping her chin with the back of her hand.

"Yes, Kazekage-sama?" she replied quickly, giving the canteen back to him. Naturally, he didn't miss the chance to brush against her fingers with his, scrutinizing her as if waiting to gauge her slightest reaction; the reaction she couldn't quite control, damn it.

"There's no need for me to train you any longer. You're perfectly prepared to take the exam," he stated and the girl nodded, all her conscious effort channelled into suppressing the sudden pain stabbing at her chest. So this was it. The man she loved was going to shove her away again. Maybe not literally this time, but still.

The man she loved... Yes, there was no denying any longer. No way to pretend.

She was in love with him.

Disappointment and hurt were too much to bear and tears threatened to spill. Matsuri panicked and turned away, pretending she was going to gather her weapons, when the sudden hold on her wrist stopped her.

"Please, wait," Gaara said and added in a lower voice. "Matsuri."

She glanced back, quite astounded. She had never heard before a single word coming from his lips in this soft tone, let alone her own name. Staring at him, she caught his eyes and the strange feeling hit her. He was giving her a certain look and she knew she had seen that look on someone before. She had seen that look on a person who she had known for a couple of years, but would have never thought he would be interested in her.

Yes, she had been seeing this look on a daily basis on Yakku. Wistful and dreamy, leer and possessive. And now she could see it on Gaara.

_If anything happens, it will be your word against his,_ Darui's words reverberated in her mind, and for a moment she was literally frozen with terror. Her weapons, lying here and there, were the ultimate proof how helpless she was against her opponent. _If anything happens..._

"Y-yes?" she stuttered, forgetting all formalities in the face of the pristine fear. Something incomprehensible flickered over Gaara's face and he stepped back, swiftly releasing her hand.

"When I decided to train you before the exam, I wanted it to be the way of expressing my gratitude," he said with a flat voice, and it seemed to her he was bracing himself for something. "Besides, you are a rewarding and smart student. But most of all—" he hesitated and briefly averted his eyes, as if not knowing if to continue or not. "I wanted to know you better," he admitted at last in a quieter, more serious tone and Matsuri blinked with shock, wondering if she hadn't just misheard. "It seemed to me you wanted the same thing," he added uncertainly, and first Matsuri's instinct was to deny it, to hide from the truth, but she knew she would look like a complete idiot if she would try to deny something so obvious. She had known already that it was only a matter of time when he would realize how she felt about him. Not that she had been happy because of it; it would be utterly humiliating and painful, to hear from him the same words she herself must have said to Yakku. She had expected this humiliation every day but it turned out Gaara's thoughts on the matter were quite different from what she had imagined... weren't they?

"Y-yeah..." she mumbled, forcing herself not to let out a hysterical, nervous laughter. She swept her hair behind her ear and finally dared to peek at him. To her relief, and disappointment, he wasn't looking at her. She followed his gaze and noticed a few ANBU guards approaching them.

She just forgot they watched Kazekage almost all the time, especially when he was leaving the village. Their presence made the world feel real again and Matsuri shook her head slightly, wondering if she wasn't just hit by a sunstroke.

"Kazekage-sama, we'll escort you to the village," one of the ANBU said and Gaara nodded but Matsuri could swear she had seen a glimpse of annoyance deep in his eyes.

"I'm—I'm going to get my weapons," she said quietly, gazing around with a small sigh.

"There's no need for you to do this," Gaara answered calmly.

Well, his sand might come in handy sometimes.

"Thank you, Kazekage-sama," she said with a timid smile, deftly catching blades floating in her direction. ANBU guards watched the scene mutely and there was no way to tell what they were thinking. Eventually the group headed back to the village, still silent.

o0o0o0o

Matsuri walked down Sunagakure's street with Sari and Yaoki by her side. They just returned from an easy C-ranked mission and their moods were excellent. The girls were teasing each other in a friendly way and even Yaoki got rid of his usual calm attitude. They were just about to part their ways when Sari came to a halt and pointed at the certain building down the street across.

"Look!" she said, obviously meaning the group of people standing in front of the building.

"Oh?" Yaoki let out a surprised sound and strode in that direction. Sari followed him while Matsuri hesitated, noticing amongst them all-too-familiar figure in the crimson coat.

Four days had passed since their last training and she still couldn't quite grasp what had happened then. She needed to learn more; she needed to hear more from him before she would have let her hopes get too high. Not that they weren't speeding high anyway; she had already experienced both happiness and despair due to what Gaara had said to her, even if the rational part of her mind was constantly telling her he actually didn't give her much to hold onto. And now she was reluctant to face him, in case all her hopes would be irretrievably crushed.

_Stay still, my stupid heart!_

"Come on, we'll see what they are doing there," Sari, oblivious to her friend's doubts and uncertainties, swept Matsuri with her arm and pushed her forward. Both girls followed Yaoki, who had already reached the group and greeted the Kazekage, Kankurou and three councilmen. Matsuri didn't think it was a proper thing to disturb them but Yaoki turned to his teammates and waited until they came closer.

"Kazekage-sama," Sari uttered and then welcomed the councilmen and Kankurou. Matsuri repeated her words automatically, feeling quite uncomfortable in the company of people who were in charge of leading the village. She was just a mere genin and didn't know much about politics and such. Besides, she still didn't forget the council's machinations which could have made her lose her life. She wondered how come Gaara had forgiven them. Well, maybe 'forgiven' wasn't the key word. He simply decided not to mention it since they were working together now on rebuilding village's reputation, but she could sense he didn't forget as well.

"The Academy will be located in this building," Yaoki said to them and the councilman standing next to him cleared his throat.

"That is, if the budget for the next three months will pass," the man said with a meaningful tone, glancing at two other elders.

Matsuri decided she wanted get out of here, and fast. When the elders began to discuss over Academy project, she turned to Yaoki.

"Captain," she said quietly. "Am I dismissed?"

The chuunin looked at her, bewildered. There had never been such formalities between them but Matsuri thought it would be better to abide by certain rules in Kazekage's and councilmen's presence.

"Sure," he replied with a nod. "Good work on the mission. See you later."

The kunoichi held her breath and turned to Gaara. Since she decided to abide by rules, she also had to be dismissed by him since he was the person with highest rank there.

"Matsuri, please wait a minute," he asked and peered at the councilmen. "I think we have nothing to discuss at the moment. The meeting on Academy's program is scheduled on the next Tuesday. I suggest to give your propositions on Academy staff members to my assisstant. I'll take my leave now."

One of the councilmen rubbed his chin thoughtfully and went away. Yaoki bid his farewell to his teammates and superiors and also left. Kankurou and Sari still didn't move, while two other councilmen took several steps and stopped, talking and gesturing.

"I-I'll be going now," Sari said at last, her eyes wandering from Gaara to Matsuri and back. Matsuri glanced at her with an apologetic half-smile and nodded. Sari raised her brow and walked away after Kazekage dismissed her. Only Kankurou stayed, watching the two quite boldly.

"I'll walk you home," Gaara said and Matsuri's heart skipped a beat.

"Yes, Kazekage-sama," she answered, shifting restlessly under Kankurou's surveying gaze.

"Go to the Tower, I'll be back soon," Gaara said to his brother and Kankurou looked at him in the same way.

"Fine," he answered after what seemed to be an eternity, his voice nonchalant, and shoved his hands into pockets. Matsuri didn't say anything after the puppeteer went away. First, she had no idea what to say. Second, if she could even find the right words, her throat felt too dry and constricted to say anything.

Gaara stepped forward and the girl followed him, feeling utterly exposed. Even if she wanted to walk with him like this, she had never imagined her dream coming true in such manner - in the very midday, under the scrutiny of the entire village. The fact was the people were quite used to the sight of the redhead and his student walking down the streets together, but Matsuri had never felt before they were staring so intensely. Previously she just ignored the stares or got irked because of them. Now it seemed to her that literally everyone gaped at them. Each and every head was turning in their direction and the people were whispering, covering their mouths with their hands.

Since her apartment was near, both of them didn't have to walk for too long. Suddenly a strange thought hit Matsuri. She didn't lead Gaara but he knew perfectly well where to go, even if he had never been in her place before. He must have known quite well where she lived. She thought he must have seen her address in her papers, but it was still shocking how easily he had led her to her own house.

They came to a halt in front of the building and looked at each other. The tension was growing unbearable and Matsuri felt her face burning again.

"I-I have to go..." she said, aware that her neighbours were peeking through the windows. "Um... thanks for—"

"Matsuri, would you like to go out with me tonight?" Gaara interrupted, standing even closer to her. His palm tentatively locked around her own, his fingers entwining with hers.

The voice died in Matsuri's throat and she stood motionless and silent, rolling Gaara's words in her head with disbelief. Her heart pounded against her ribs while the mixed sensation of joy, apprehension and amazement overwhelmed her. The outer world seemed to vanish into meaningless void, and eventually, only delicate grip of Gaara's hand upon hers felt real.

She didn't know how long they had been standing there, wordlessly looking into each other's eyes. It seemed to her that everything they had been through together blended in a whirl and the outcome was just like this - her hand in his, their gazes sticking to each other, their eyes speaking what they had no courage to say outright yet.

"Yes, Kazekage-sama," she whispered, even if he probably read the answer in her expression already. Even now she couldn't call him by his given name, not until he asked her for it. Her voice sounded awkward in her own ears and she instinctively raised her other hand, putting it over her heart and nervously fidgeting at the fabric of her shirt.

Gaara closed his eyes briefly and shook his head.

"It's not an order from your Kazekage," he replied, leaning forward a bit. "You can refuse if you want."

_Refuse?_

He must have been crazy.

Matsuri felt small, bashful smile creeping up her lips, and she could see the same smile reflecting in Gaara's eyes. "I'll be waiting here at 7," he said in a low voice and she nodded, the magic of the moment suddenly shattering while she realized the gaping stares of the people passing by, not even mentioning her neighbours.

"So... see you at 7!" she said hastily, withdrawing her hand and shooting a quick grin at him. Entering the building, she darted upstairs and stormed into her room, closing the door behind her and collapsing against it in a clumsy manner. Her legs gave up and she sat on the floor, laughing to herself and shaking her head with disbelief, with only one question running in her mind: was it only her or the Kazekage had just asked her for a date?

**The end of chapter 10.**

**The next chapter: Is this how dreams coming alive feel like?**


	11. 11 Dreams coming alive

I'm verry happy more and more people like my story to the point where they decide to follow it and/or leave the comment. There's nothing more the fanfiction writer can dream of :) It really keeps my writer's juices flowing :)

The idea of the story came to me when I started watching "Naruto" and GaaMatsu became my OTP. I began to search for well-written GaaMatsu stories, but there weren't many. I wanted a multi-chaptered story with a happy ending and a slow build-up, where it would take them quite long to grow interested in each other, and their bond would slowly strengthen through the years until they would realize they fell in love with each other. Actually, I didn't find such story, so I decided to write it myself.

Btw if anyone would be interested, you can also follow this story on deviantArt.

kitsune1978. deviantart. com

Betareading:** katakiari. deviantart. com**

Story image by tariah23 . deviantart . com

I have her permission to use it.

© "Naruto" is created and copyrighted by Kishimoto Masashi and owned by Shueisha Publishing Co., Ltd. and Studio Pierrot.

Enjoy.

**Alive And Victorious**

**Chapter 11. Is this how dreams coming alive feel like?**

Matsuri was drying her hair with the towel when someone banged at her door. She jumped, almost letting the towel slip from her hands.

"Who is it?" she inquired, approaching the door reluctantly.

"Us!" Sari's stifled voice came from the outside. Matsuri sighed and opened the door, moving aside to let her friends in.

"Matsuri!" Sari exclaimed reproachfully. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"About what?" Matsuri replied, vigorously rubbing at her hair with the towel until it covered half of her face. She knew her friends would interrogate her and she didn't know how to evade it. The time was possibly the worst for such interrogation because she was already jittery due to the oncoming date and now she would have to explain how come she was going to date Gaara after all, even if she had previously insisted she wasn't interested in him in a romantic way.

Sari breathed deeply through her nose and looked at the water meter critically.

"Gaara-sama walked you home, right?" she asked with the tone of the utmost certainty.

"Yes, he did," Matsuri answered, not gazing at her friends. She particularly avoided Yakku's eyes, since she could still remember how he continuously scoffed at her supposed infatuation with Gaara. Now Yakku probably thought she was the most disgusting hypocrite ever.

"You took a shower even if you are about to cross your water limit?" Sari inquired as if she had been a pursuing ninja, holding investigation. Matsuri shrugged in silence. Since every shinobi in Suna was quite sensitive when it came to catching humidity variations, she didn't need to answer the question. All of them could sense pretty well the fading waft of the steam coming from her bathroom.

"Would you like some tea?" Matsuri said, trying to change the topic. Yakku and Darui nodded and sat down on her bed, still observing her with expressionless faces. Sari didn't move, looking like she was concentrating hard.

"Matsuri?" she asked at last, her voice dripping with suspiciousness. "Are you going on a date?"

Matsuri closed her eyes and took a deep breath. There was no way to keep it secret for long. They would find out one way or another. Besides, it was obvious people would be shocked, and maybe even mocking.

"Yes, I am," she replied, attempting to sound matter-of-factly.

"You have a date with the Kazekage?" Sari said, stunned, and Matsuri felt her cheeks flaring. She persevered repeating she had no eyes for Gaara. No, no, no. _You can have him if you want_, she had said to Sari, and this was how everything turned out. Did her friends consider her a liar now?

Suddenly Yakku got up and left the apartment without any word of explanation. Matsuri gestured like she wanted to stop him, but then she decided it was pointless. There was no comfort for him when all his hopes were finally destroyed. She knew all too damn well how it hurt.

"I'm sorry," she said to all, and to nobody. Yakku didn't seem to register her words. He just closed the door behind himself quietly, and after a moment his footsteps faded away in the corridor. Matsuri urged to suppress the sense of guilt and searched Darui's eyes desperately, but he only pursed his lips and shrugged.

"Remember what I told you," he remarked. It stung and Matsuri had to comment on it.

"You think his intentions are evil?" she asked straighforward, frowning disbelievingly.

"I have no idea," Darui answered, standing up. He went towards the window and peeked through it, apparently gazing at the Kazekage Tower. "It was obvious from quite a long time that you had snatched his attention. But you insisted that..." he let the comment hang in the air.

Matsuri lowered her head.

"I'm sorry," she echoed, her voice just above the whisper.

"What a mess," Darui sighed and Matsuri remembered their conversation after she had found out that the Kazekage himself would train her before the chuunin exam.

"So you want him after all?" Sari interjected and Matsuri couldn't force herself to look her friend in the eye.

"I—I didn't realize earlier that I— that he—" she stuttered. "I really thought—" she swallowed at how pathetic she sounded. "I wasn't lying to you," she finally admitted, raising her head to confront Sari.

The long-haired girl watched her for a few minutes in silence, her expression unreadable. Matsuri felt the lump growing in her throat under the scrutiny. Was she about to lose another friend?

"You were always too dumb for your own sake," Sari shot, tousling her friend's hair. "And I always knew... _Gaara-sama is quiet, cool, strong, hot, elite-" _she repeated Matsuri's words, and Matsuri screwed her eyes shut, blushing madly at the remembrance of the moment which she had successfully erased from her memory. But now it hit her full force how stupidly she acted. "Hey," Sari swatted her at the shoulder. "No need to look so miserable! I told you before you have made greater progress than I - than anyone - ever could."

Matsuri glanced at her friend, astonished. She supposed Sari would be more saddened by the news. That she would even be crying. Sari looked a bit disappointed, yes, but definitely not despairing, and Matsuri wondered if her friend was just so good in concealing her true feelings or maybe her interest in Gaara was only a brief enchantment?

The girl peeked at the clock and the strange anxiety overwhelmed her. What if it was only a dream? What if Gaara didn't come?

"We're going to go," Darui said, pressing his hand against the small of Sari's back. "Get dressed to kill," he added, winking at Matsuri before he headed for the exit. Sari went with him obediently, sending a smile in Matsuri's direction, and finally the girl was left alone. She wished she could have her friends by her side to support her when she needed their encouragement the most, but things turned out to be too complicated and she couldn't ask Sari, let alone Yakku, to help her in this case. She had to endure nervousness and trepidation completely alone.

Wincing, Matsuri looked into the mirror and began to brush her hair. _Get dressed to kill_, Darui had said, but how was she supposed to do that? She had never deliberated over her looks before but now she had to admit they were just mediocre. An average looking face, an average looking figure. She was nobody special. How come Gaara liked her? He could surely date girls prettier than her if he wanted, and Sari definitely wasn't the only one who considered him attractive and attempted to draw his attention. Matsuri had never been jealous of her friend's beauty, but now, when she compared herself to Sari...

_No_, Matsuri admonished herself sternly. _No._ Even if Sari was more beautiful, Gaara didn't pay attention to her. He didn't ask her to go out with him this evening. He didn't look at her like she was someone... well, special. All those things fell to Matsuri's lot, and the appointed hour was getting closer and closer, making butterflies flutter in her stomach.

Was this how dreams coming alive felt like?

o0o0o0o

Matsuri left the building and looked around. Her heart pounded against her ribs when she spotted Gaara standing rather close and talking to some children from the neighbourhood. Matsuri stood motionless, taking in the entire scene. The redhead made the sand under the children's feet ripple and take different forms, and they squealed with joy when the sand made them float in midair.

In a distance two girls stopped and began to whisper to themselves, obviously trying to snatch Kazekage's attention. Gaara seemed not to notice their encouraging giggles, and glanced at Matsuri who flinched slightly and smiled bashfully, caught off-guard. The redhead turned to the children and said something to them. They looked greatly disappointed but didn't protest when he walked away. Matsuri waited for him, wishing again her dream coming true wouldn't be watched and talked about by the entire village. Unfortunately, it was inevitable. Better not to think what rumours would rise if he had visited her in her apartment!

Gaara stood in front of her in silence and she smiled at him weakly, all her uncertainties speeding back at her. What was she supposed to do? What was she supposed to say? When they had been still teacher and student she had been the one who was always maintaining the conversation, but now she had no idea what to say. And even if she knew, she would probably find no courage in herself to utter anything, considering she couldn't even greet him properly.

"Matsuri," the redhead said and she was amazed again by the unusual softness in his voice. An exulted smile curved her mouth and she didn't hide it; not that she could even if she tried. She wanted so much for him to say her name again in this voice, since it sounded so... so... "Would you like to go for a walk?" Gaara finished, interrupting her dreamy musings, and she was quite grateful for it, since it wouldn't be the best turn of events, falling into her own private dreamworld just after the date had begun.

"Yes, Kazekage-sama," she answered automatically, and the redhead shook his head slightly.

"It's Gaara to you," he remarked and Matsuri nodded, swallowing and rolling this name in her thoughts. Well, both of them were equals now, but it was so hard to say that name aloud, the dear name she had been whispering to herself so many times, crying at night or praying in front of Chiyo's grave.

"Yes, Gaara," she said quietly, tentatively, as if trying how it would sound, and grinned to herself since it sounded wonderful to her, so sweet, so breath-taking, so... perfect.

Just like him.

Gaara looked like he was about to ask of something, probably her stupid grin, but she shook her head and stepped forward, definitely unwilling to reveal what she had just thought. The Kazekage followed her in silence and they slowly went down the street. The sun was going down and the shadows were growing longer. Other couples were passing by, walking towards Sunagakure's gates, obviously heading there to watch the sunset together, and Matsuri's heart jumped at the prospect of sharing such a beautiful moment with the redhead walking by her side.

Gaara decided to break the silence at last.

"How was the mission?" he inquired casually, and Matsuri was grateful he chose such a common topic.

"Okay, nothing special," she said. "We delivered the scroll without troubles. Yaoki-san reported the mission already, didn't he?"

"Yes, he did."

The silence fell again and Matsuri sighed inwardly. Apparently, hoping that Gaara would ever grow more talkative was pointless.

"I liked that city very much," she admitted, feeling quite like in the old days when they had been the teacher and student, and she had to draw each and every word from him. "It was similar to Konoha. Very green. And the air was nicely humid. Fresh. Not like here, in Suna."

"You don't like the village?" the redhead asked, looking a bit surprised.

"No, it's not like that. I mean, I've been living outside of the desert for seven years and I've grown quite unaccustomed to water limitations, hot, dry winds, the sand dust everywhere... But don't get me wrong. Sunagakure is my home now and I like it," Matsuri explained, thinking about her three-month's exile and how happy she was after coming back.

"I always wondered how come you arrived here to train as a ninja," Gaara inquired and Matsuri swallowed. As far as she could remember it was the first personal question he had ever asked her. "It seemed awkward to me since you were afraid of weapons."

"It wasn't me who decided I was going to become a ninja," Matsuri said with a small painful sigh. "I think my family just wanted to get rid of me. They agreed to send me to Suna even if they knew about my... trauma. They said I just needed to get over it."

"I see," Gaara said and Matsuri knew she didn't have to give more detailed explanation on how lonely and unwanted she had felt then. She was sure he understood it perfectly well.

"I think nobody really believed I could have been able to become a ninja," she added quite miserably and Gaara peered at her.

"They were wrong. You are a good shinobi, Matsuri," he stated with the absolute certainty in his voice and the kunoichi couldn't help but blush at the praise.

"Thank you, Kazeka—"

"Gaara," he interrupted and Matsuri bit her lip briefly, nodding. Old habits die hard.

"Thank you, Gaara," she repeated, and damn! His name tumbled off her lips so wistfully and tenderly that it really wouldn't be much difference if she had just said: "I love you, Gaara."

Feeling utterly defeated, Matsuri lowered her gaze until it reached the sandy street. She couldn't look her companion in the eye but she still tried to force the nonchalant expression on her face; unfortunately, there was no way to check if her attempts succeeded at all.

For a time they walked in silence. Matsuri kept her promise to herself that she wouldn't speak no more since she already managed to embarrass herself. Besides, if Gaara asked her for a date, he could also take some pains to overcome his usual withdrawn attitude, couldn't he?

"The sun is almost setting," the redhead suddenly observed and stopped. "We could take a look at it from the top of the Kazekage Tower," he offered, peeking at Matsuri invitingly. She pondered over it for a moment and decided that it would be nice to escape the villagers' scrutiny. The Tower was probably the only place where they could find a refuge, so she nodded in agreement, and they skipped a couple of rooftops together, eventually reaching the terrace at the top of the Tower. The guard standing there greeted his superior with respect and glanced at the girl, trying to hide his curiosity.

"Kazekage-sama, should I, um, leave you alone?" he asked politely and Gaara shook his head.

"Thank you, Suname, but there's no need for you to walk down."

The guard bowed slightly and moved to the opposite side of the terrace, turning his back to them. Matsuri watched him, perplexed, but when she looked around she quickly forgot all her embarrassment.

"Wow..." she breathed, leaning over the balustrade. "It's the highest point in the entire village, isn't it? What a wonderful view!"

"Yes. Only the cliffs are higher," Gaara replied from behind her back.

Matsuri threw her head back and marvelled at the sky, at the gold, orange and purple threads entwining high above her. It was Suna at its best and Matsuri was certain that even if she wandered all over the world she wouldn't find a place where sunsets were just as spectacular. Suddenly she spotted a wisp of cloud shaped like a bird, and her chest constricted painfully. The memory of Akatsuki's attack was still giving her nightmares and she shook her head, trying to disperse the bad thoughts.

"What is it?" Gaara asked, standing by her side.

"No, it's nothing," she said, briefly closing her eyes. "I just remembered something... unpleasant."

The redhead waited for a few minutes before he answered.

"I see."

Matsuri pointed at the sky.

"There are nowhere such beautiful sunsets like here, are there?" she said with a smile and Gaara gazed at the sky as well, contemplating splendid colours. Matsuri glanced at his profile from the corner of her eye and her heart leapt in her chest. Here he stood, the man of her dreams, watching the sunset with her, just as she dreamed, and she wasn't able to stop staring at him, even if she pretended to watch the deep hues of red that painted the darkening sky.

Before she could prepare herself he turned his head and his eyes met hers. The heat crept up her cheeks immediately and she blinked, abashed. The images of a certain dream popped out of nowhere inside her mind and she ducked her head_,_ dismayed.

"I-I have to go now. I have a mission tomorrow," she stammered, even if they had just come here.

"I know," Gaara said calmly and Matsuri wanted to wince at her own pathetic explanation. Of course he knew. He assigned the mission himself.

Before she could bid him farewell, she suddenly sensed the warm palm locking around her own and squeezing lightly.

"Matsuri," Gaara uttered, eyeing her intensely. "If you would ever have any problem, please do not hide it from me. Okay?"

The girl had been surprised, to say at least. What did he mean? He sounded like he wanted to hint at something without saying it outright and Matsuri was supposed to guess what he had meant. The only problem was that she really didn't have any idea what it was.

"Okay," she answered in a serious tone because he had been serious as well. "I won't."

Reluctantly, he let her hand go.

"Good luck on the mission," he said and Matsuri smiled, relieved.

"Thanks," she answered and jumped onto the balustrade, definitely unwilling to go downstairs and meet all those curious gazes of people walking down the Tower's corridors, Gaara's siblings in particular. "Good luck with those stubborn Iwagakure negotiators!"

The redhead looked astounded but the realization must have hit him quick that his ninjas knew perfectly well who and when he must have dealt with.

"Thank you," he replied, looking up at Matsuri, who hesitated for a moment. She began to regret she finished the date so quickly; she did it on impulse and it was too late now. She decided that she really needed to find a way to deal with the memory of a dream so it wouldn't disturb her the way it did moments ago. After all, Gaara had no idea about what she had been dreaming of.

Actually, he didn't look disappointed, but Matsuri had a feeling he didn't want her to go already. Not that he would say it out loud after she had expressed her willingness to go home and rest before the mission. He surely didn't want to push her, even if Matsuri wouldn't protest against being pushed in this particular case.

With a sigh, the girl applied chakra to her feet and shot the last glance towards her companion, knowing she would cherish forever the way he had been looking at her when they were alone. There was nothing left to say and she ran down the adobe wall, even if she only wanted to stay there with him.

o0o0o0o

Kankurou and Temari were heading towards Kazekage's office, looking quite broody.

"What are you going to say right now?" Kankurou asked as if hinting at a previous argument. "The rumours are spreading around the village like crazy."

Temari didn't answer at once, still pondering with a deep furrow on her brow.

"What are we going to do?" the puppeteer asked and his sister glanced at him with a half-shrug.

"We'll see what Gaara says," Temari said, reaching her hand to knock at the Kazekage office's door. She announced her and Kankurou's names, and pushed the door, striding inside.

Gaara, as expected, was sitting at his desk and glanced at them, slightly bewildered.

"Temari? Kankurou?" he asked, putting the quill away and blinking. "Did something happen?"

"Well..." Kankurou stuttered, not knowing how to start the topic. "In fact not but—"

"In fact yes," Temari interrupted, shooting a threatening glance at him. "Everyone gossips about your date with Matsuri yesterday."

Gaara slowly leant backwards in his seat and the slight frown creased his forehead.

"And...?"

"Listen, Gaara," Kankurou opened, willing to take control over the conversation. "We wouldn't pry into your private affairs if—"

Temari saw fit to interrupt him again.

"The entire village rages. Most of the councilmen have been disgruntled before because they thought you wasted your time training Matsuri. Now they are even more disgruntled, claiming you will be negligent in your duties because of her."

Kankurou glared at his sister but couldn't deny what she had said. Temari, even if sounding a bit harsh, deeply cared for Gaara and it was what was driving her while speaking to him in this manner.

Gaara's gaze wandered from one of his sibling to the other. He looked positively calm and suddenly Kankurou suspected that the redhead expected all this uproar and already had the plan how to mastermind it.

"What is the real reason for their grudge?" Gaara asked in his usual indifferent tone.

Temari rolled her eyes.

"Come on, Gaara, don't tell me you're oblivious. You know perfectly well many of them would want their daughters or nieces to be in Matsuri's place."

This statement drew a sigh from Gaara's chest and he lowered his head a bit, rubbing his forehead with his fingers. Kankurou knew his brother wasn't oblivious, not after having to deal with Kotori's advances.

"What matters the most," the puppeteer said, stepping forwad, "is that you are endangering yourself and your girlfriend. Have you thought about that?"

"Matsuri is not my girlfriend—"

"Not?" Kankurou was taken aback.

"—yet," Gaara finished in a low-pitched voice.

Kankurou shut his mouth and nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving Gaara's. So his brother admitted it aloud. Well, if that was the case, Kankurou was rather certain that Gaara had already considered all the measures he would have to undertake to protect himself and his... well, girlfriend. Because regardless of what Gaara had said, Kankurou considered Matsuri to be his brother's girlfriend from now on.

Temari looked like she was about to say something but Kankurou turned to her and warned her with his eyes.

"We've gotta go," he emphasized, pointing at the door with his chin.

The blond kunoichi narrowed her eyes but didn't protest and they left the office after saying "Bye" to their brother who just took the quill again and resumed signing his name on papers like nothing had happened.

**The end of chapter 11.**

**The next chapter: The captivating smile**

**A/N.**

And how was it?

It's sooo damn hard to bring those two together! ;P They just keep resisting each other ;P

Btw, I'm looking for a certain kind of GaaNaru fanfiction, where Naruto is in love with Gaara but the latter doesn't return his feelings (he may be single or in relationship with someone else, I don't mind). Have you ever come across such a fanfic? Anyone?


	12. 12 The captivating smile

Betareading: Annabella Colt

Story image by tariah23 . deviantart . com

I have her permission to use it.

© "Naruto" is created and copyrighted by Kishimoto Masashi and owned by Shueisha Publishing Co., Ltd. and Studio Pierrot.

Enjoy.

**Alive And Victorious**

**Chapter 12. The captivating smile**

Matsuri met her friends in front of Kazekage Tower and immediately noticed Yakku still wasn't there. When another genin appeared and Yaoki announced they would march away, Matsuri had to protest.

"But Yakku is still missing," she said, surprised and slightly irritated. Even if her friend was late it was not a reason to leave him behind.

"He volunteered for the border patrol on the border with Tsuchi no Kuni," the captain explained. "There's no telling when he would come back to Sunagakure."

Matsuri blinked with her mouth agape.

"Yakku... left the village? But..."

Sari elbowed her and Matsuri quickly nodded. The team set off and Matsuri went with others but she had been still in a deep shock. He didn't say anything to her concerning his departure, not even mentioning biding farewell...

"You should know why he had left," Sari said quietly and Matsuri glanced at her wordlessly. Well, she couldn't say she didn't know. In fact she understood perfectly why Yakku left Suna. She could still vividly remember the agony Gaara's mere presence was inflicting on her when she thought she had been completely unimportant to him. Yakku must have felt the same way about her. But still leaving without a word...

Yakku left but Sari remained. Matsuri watched her friend, trying to gauge her reaction again.

"How was the date?" Sari whispered. "Did he kiss you?"

Matsuri gasped, disconcerted. It really wasn't the best topic to raise while walking with other ninjas, heading for a mission to complete! Someone could have eavesdropped and the rumours would roar again about Kazekage's supposed way of kissing...

"He didn't!" she growled under her nose and Sari looked disappointed. "We'll talk about it later, okay?"

Sari nodded, looking completely neutral, as if the prospect of her favourite redhead kissing her closest friend didn't perturb her at all. Matsuri decided she needed to ask Sari straightforwardly if she wasn't bearing any grudge but on the other hand she didn't want to do that because she felt kind of anxious of what answers she would get.

o0o0o0o

Gaara was growing impatient. The preparations to establish the Academy were getting his schedule overfilled and he had no time at all to see Matsuri. The elders seemed to be happy about it but he was definitely not. The meeting on the regulations, program and Academy's future staff, even if long and quite tiresome, fortunately brought to him the solution to his dilemma. Before the council could notice what was happening he drove them to the agreement on the necessity of having the Academy project coordinators. Then he casually suggested he would choose them himself from amongst the offers he had received earlier when he had to engage the assistant and, in case he wouldn't find any person meeting his expectations, he would decide himself on what to do next.

At least a few of the councilmen suspected a trap but they didn't make any observations, probably sure that if anything would go awry they would easily talk him into changing his mind.

Well, they would be greatly surprised. After all he was the one in charge there and even if he usually held his ear open to his advisors' voices and took them seriously into account, there were times when he intended to do exactly as he pleased, just as he was planning to do now.

Gaara had made sure earlier he would have a half of an hour free this afternoon so he could leave the Tower without any objections. Since he had checked the training grounds schedule before, he knew precisely where to find Matsuri, and he headed there without hesitation. Coming to a halt in a distance before his former student could notice him, he watched her practicing taijutsu on the wooden dummy. Unfortunately, he didn't have much time to spend on enjoying the sight, so he approached her after a few minutes. Matsuri looked positively surprised and bowed slightly, muttering a formal "Good afternoon" under her nose. To his contentment she didn't use his formal title but she didn't call him by his given name either.

"Your taijutsu skills are on quite high level. You must have been working hard on it," the redhead commented, the praise bringing slight pink tint to Matsuri's cheeks. "I'm sorry I couldn't train you thoroughly enough in that field. Taijutsu just wasn't my specialty."

Matsuri blinked and shook her head. "You just don't need it," she said as if it was explaining everything.

"Baki had been always reproaching me not to rely only on my sand but I ignored his instructions," Gaara added and Matsuri giggled. Then she frowned slightly.

"You mean Baki-sama?" she asked, obviously astonished.

The redhead nodded.

"He was my teacher," he explained and Matsuri opened her mouth, letting out an inaudible "Ah."

Gaara knew he had to go back to the Tower soon so he decided to go to the point at once.

"Matsuri, I had an offer for you," he said and the girl furrowed her brows.

"An offer?" she echoed, glancing at him a bit suspiciously.

"I want you to be an Academy project coordinator," he announced shortly, watching her eyes widen and her lips part. "I need someone I can devolve the part of my work upon as well as my assisstant's work concerning mainly Academy program, regulations and staff."

Matsuri nodded slowly and he knew it was only to acknowledge his words, not to express her willingness to take up the job. In fact she looked rather scared of the very prospect.

"You don't have to answer now. Just think about it," Gaara said, with a feeling that his plans might have run into certain difficulties. Matsuri swallowed and nervously drew her hair behind her ear, searching his eyes for the encouragement.

"But I... I've never..." she uttered in a doubtful voice.

"I know," he replied with a nod, his eyes never leaving hers. "And I think I can understand how you feel. I've never been Kazekage before as well, you know."

The girl looked more self-confident immediately, letting out a merry giggle. Her eyes twinkled and he knew she would agree, even if she didn't say it yet.

"Is it very hard?" she inquired, tilting her head. "Being Kazekage?"

"Yes, extremely," he replied seriously. "And no, not at all."

Matsuri smiled at his words, and the smile was unbelievable. Simply captivating.

"I like how you can say so much with only a few words," she uttered softly, looking straight into his eyes, and the warmth enveloped his heart at her admission. Instinctively, he raised his arm and lightly touched Matsuri's cheek with his fingers, quite surprised by his own action. On the other hand he was glad he had done it, since the affection arising within him simply had to be expressed this or either way. Matsuri blinked and reddened but didn't flinch away from the touch. Moreover, she leaned into it after a while, and covered his palm with hers, slowly closing her eyes as if enjoying the physical contact.

He could count the people who were willingly touching him on the fingers of one hand.

"So... you think I can do it?" she asked, peeking at him with those beautiful black eyes, her gaze dazed a bit. Gaara nodded in answer, aware that the softness of Matsuri's skin under his fingers grew dangerously enticing. Besides, he had to hurry back to the Tower, even if Kazekage's duties were actually the last thing on his mind.

"I wouldn't ask you if I thought the opposite," he replied and pulled his hand back, eliciting a small disappointed sigh from his girlfriend. "I—"

"You have to go now," Matsuri interrupted with a nod, her expression rather glum. "I know."

o0o0o0o

Matsuri was sitting by her window, peeking through it almost constantly. It was almost midnight but she couldn't sleep.

It had been her first day in her new temporary job. Kashiko-san, Kazekage's assisstant, had turned out to be a very amiable and patient woman, who explained everything to her in details. Matsuri was grateful for it since she had been unnerved and it could render her clumsy all-too-easily. She didn't feel like she belonged there, in Kazekage Tower, amongst all those high-ranked ninjas. She was intimidated and maybe even scared, but every time she had been walking into Gaara's office, all intimidation and fear were immediately going away, replaced by determination. Since he put so much trust in her to make her the coordinator, she was going to complete the task perfectly.

They were supposed to see each other after work, but Gaara didn't come. Matsuri waited for him and finally went back home, uncertain what to do. Her first impulse was to go to the Tower and check if something happened but she quickly banished the thought. Instead she settled herself by the window and observed the Tower, and after a short time it appeared to her there was an excessive activity in the village. ANBU squads were moving all around, messenger hawks were coming and leaving, jounins were hurrying down the streets.

She had been watching them until the midnight came, and she still didn't feel like sleeping, searching the sky for any possible attackers. The icy claw slowly locked around her heart at the memory of Gaara's abduction and—

Matsuri shook her head vehemently, forcing herself not to remember those events again. That night, bathed in the pale glow of the moonlight, had been her worst memory, next to her parent's death. That night when she had realized that Gaara was more precious to her than anyone else, even her best friends. That night when she thought she had lost him...

The quiet, almost inaudible sound interrupted her musings. Matsuri looked around, unsure if she had really heard anything at all. Then it repeated again, the light knocking on her door.

The girl wondered who could have come to visit her at this hour, and secretly. There was only one such person so Matsuri approached the door and set it ajar.

Gaara slipped inside, putting his finger on his lips as if giving her signal to stay silent. Matsuri nodded and closed the door carefully, while the redhead switched the light off. He walked towards the window then and glanced through it, scanning the vicinity until he was satisfied with the result. Matsuri watched him wordlessly, curious and worried in the same time. Eventually she stepped towards him and looked through the window as well.

"I'm not supposed to be here," he said in a low voice as if explaining his strange actions. "I'm sorry I didn't come but it was emergency."

Matsuri nodded, swallowing.

"I thought so," she whispered back. "Is it—" The name 'Akatsuki' seemed to be stuck down her throat and she couldn't choke it out.

"I know it's very late but I've noticed you weren't sleeping yet," Gaara said apologetically, turning to her. "So I concluded that—"

"Nevermind," she interrupted impatiently, grabbing his forearm. "Gaara, it's not Akatsuki, is it?"

"Akatsuki?" he replied in a whisper, surprised. "No." He sighed and added in a grave voice: "And yes."

"What?" Matsuri furrowed, confused, and released his hand. "What do you—"

"They're not attacking Sunagakure, if that's what you meant. There's no point in it since they had already taken Ichibi."

"Ichibi?" the girl sought his eyes in darkness, clasping her palms and pressing them against her chest. "Oh, I see... You mean Shukaku of the Sand?"

She could guess rather than actually see that Gaara nodded.

"They destroyed Konoha," he said, his voice heavy with an unrecognizable emotion, and Matsuri faltered, shocked to the core.

"D-destroyed?" she stammered, and Gaara stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her smaller frame.

"The village is utterly annihilated," he explained quietly, his breath warm against her forehead, and the girl quivered, gripping the fabric of his coat tightly. She recalled all those genins she had met once. Some of them came to help retrieving Gaara after the abduction. Naruto, who was supposed to have _so much in common with Gaara_, as Kankurou put it. Lee, the determination personified. Sakura, the genius medic ninja, who saved Kankurou from Sasori's poison.

Were they all... gone? The entire village was _gone_?

Letting out a frightened gasp, Matsuri leaned into the embrace, perfectly aware Suna would have met the same fate if it wasn't for Kazekage's utmost determination. So this was Akatsuki, the organization nobody had heard about before the sudden assault at Suna five months ago, which fully revealed their power.

"But why?" she sniffled, crying quietly for all those ninjas who had surely died facing such mighty enemy. "Why are they doing this? What do they want?"

Gaara didn't answer, only stroked her hair, and Matsuri swallowed.

"Konoha needs our support," he whispered, brushing the top of her head with his chin. "Hokage managed to save the villagers but—"

"So they are alive?" Matsuri exclaimed, straightening, and hastily put her hand upon her mouth. "I'm sorry," she muttered. "I forgot myself."

Gaara shook his head, the dark silhouette in the midst of an inky blackness.

"Yes, they are alive," he replied simply and took a deep breath. "Matsuri, I have to go back to the Tower before they realize I'm gone."

"Sure," she nodded eagerly. "I'm glad you came anyway. I was worried a bit. So... see you tomorrow."

"Yes..." Gaara replied slowly but didn't move from the spot. They stood in silence and Matsuri shifted restlessly, with a sudden jittery feeling flooding over her at the consciousness of the situation. Here they were, alone in her room in the dead of the night, and to her, the darkness never seemed to be so impenetrable before, the silence so overwhelming, the tension between them so high that is was almost tangible. The girl gulped audibly and shuddered at the touch of Gaara's palms on her shoulders, her knees suddenly wobbling. She lifted her hands instinctively, searching for support, and put them against his chest, sensing a frantic heartbeat under her fingers, its rate matching the frenzy fluttering of her own heart. Gaara stepped closer until only inches separated their bodies, and slowly raised his hand, brushing her cheek just as he had done a few days before on the training ground. Matsuri could feel that his fingers were slightly trembling, but it was nothing in comparison to the tremors running up and down her frame. Letting her hands meet at the back of his neck, she licked her mouth nervously, and Gaara hesitated for a moment, before he leaned forward with a slight tilt of his head until his lips hovered just above hers. He pressed his other hand against the small of her back and Matsuri gasped lightly at the sensation of their bodies pushing against each other, while Gaara eventually touched her lips with his.

For a few minutes they just stood motionless, as if they had entered completely unknown territory and needed time to get themselves familiar with it. Matsuri closed her eyes, lost in a sea of the foreign feelings, which Gaara's hot breath fanning over her face and soft, constant touch of his lips over hers had elicited. His grip on her waist tightened and she diffidently moved her fingers, resting at the nape of his neck. The tickling of the soft wisps, which she had felt since her hands arrived at the spot, eventually grew irresistible, and with a small sigh she weaved her fingers into his hair.

Gaara chose that moment to brush his lips against hers tentatively, and Matsuri's breath hitched in an instant when she decided to respond with the same delicate move, the kiss so soft and gentle that it was almost innocent. The redhead shifted his hand, still resting on her cheek, until his thumb stroked the sensitive skin right below her lower lip. Matsuri drew in the shaking breath, and the exotic tingling she felt in her lips spread all over her body, stirring up the new, strange urges which burned to be expressed in some way. Finally the quiet moan of an alien frustration escaped her throat, and she froze, the memory of the dream she had once had hitting her with the full force. The moan she had just uttered vividly reminded her of her actions which had followed the dream, and she cringed at the thought what doings were exactly required to release the tension swiftly building up inside her.

Oblivious to the turmoil within her, Gaara tilted his head further and parted his lips, slowly deepening the kiss. Matsuri entangled her fingers tighter into his hair, with her other hand grasping his shoulder to stop herself from toppling into him. Her legs buckled when she tested the gesture herself, slightly opening her mouth so he could gently suck at her lower lip.

There was no way she could stay silent any longer. She let out another moan, clearly distinct in spite of her attempts to muffle it. Embarrassing as it was, it apparently invited Gaara to continue the caress, and he moved his hand from her cheek to the back of her head and pressed against it lightly, obviously willing to take control. Matsuri gave another whimper, louder this time, and the redhead moaned into her mouth as well, pushing with his body against hers while the tip of his tongue hesitantly licked at her upper lip.

The girl froze momentarily, quite shocked by the boldness of his action and baffled by the fleeting thought of where both of them were exactly going. It seemed to her they were proceeding a bit too quickly... but on the other hand she had a feeling that one single lifetime could be not enough to explore all the possibilites in the land where they had just made their first step into.

Gaara swallowed hard and broke the kiss, pressing his forehead against hers. Matsuri blinked, surprised and slightly disappointed, before she remembered he was supposed to go back to the Tower, and soon. Breathing heavily, they waited for themselves to calm down, but Matsuri decided the position wasn't helpful at all. It was just too enticing, so the girl stepped back uncertainly, sighing, and smoothed her ruffled hair with the nervous gesture. She was glad the light was off since she would have surely felt uncomfortable if she had to look Gaara in the eye after what had just transpired. Yet on the other hand, the velvety darkness in which they were hiding was just too inviting to continue, and Matsuri could sense her heartbeat growing unmistakably faster at the mere thought of repeating the kiss.

"I'd better go," Gaara murmured and Matsuri let out an unintelligible sound in asnwer, which was meant to express she didn't want him to go, but yes, he'd better go, and fast. The redhead walked towards the door and Matsuri opened it for him. He didn't step through the threshold though, only wrapped his arms around her again. She gasped and faltered but he simply hugged her to his chest, and she relaxed, leaning into the embrace. Her heart was about to burst with the warmth which spread from inside her, filling her with the most intense sensation of happiness and love she had ever experienced.

Was this how dreams coming alive felt like?

"Gaara..." Matsuri only breathed, her voice just above the whisper, and he clasped her tighter in reply, obviously catching everything she wanted to express. It didn't last long though, and eventually the redhead released her, turned away and disappeared in the darkness filling the staircase, his steps so quiet that the girl couldn't catch them, no matter how much she strained her ears.

**The end of chapter 12.**

**The next chapter: You will not fail**

**A/N: Hope you liked it :3**

**List of tracks I'm listening to get myself into the mood for writing:**

**(at random)**

**Tatu "All About Us"**

**Houk "Transmission Into Your Heart"**

**Alex C "Doktorspiele"**

**Regy Clasen "Ergib Dich"**

**Laava "Wherever You Are"**

**Skillet "Whispers In The Dark"**

**Nightwish "She Is My Sin"**

**Smile dk "Mr. Wonderful"**

**Kelly Family "I Can't Help Myself"**

**Чай вдвоём "Моя"**

**Goya "Smak Słów"**

**Nightwish "I Wish I Had Your Angel"**

**Skinny Patrini "YSMF"**

**ABBA "Honey Honey" (I prefer the movie version, performed by Amanda Seyfried)**

**Plus One "Going Crazy"**

**SES "Dreams Come True"**

**Clay Aiken "I Will Carry You"**

**Lodoss OST "Ad'esso E Fortuna"**


	13. 13 You will not fail

Dear readers, I'm so grateful for your comments, favs and follows. You make me want to write even more GaaMatsu stories. Actually, I have a few ideas for more stories, but I need to finish this one first.

Warning: This chapter contains no overly romantic scenes. You can skip it if you want :)

Betareading: Annabella Colt

Story image by tariah23 . deviantart . com

I have her permission to use it.

© "Naruto" is created and copyrighted by Kishimoto Masashi and owned by Shueisha Publishing Co., Ltd. and Studio Pierrot.

Enjoy.

o0o0o0o

**Alive And Victorious**

**Chapter 13. You will not fail**

Matsuri entered the office uncertainly, relieved at the sight of Kashiko-san sitting at her usual place. The older woman looked unbelievably calm, despite of some jounins who were obviously reproaching her for something.

"I'm sorry, gentlemen, but the Kazekage is unavailable at the moment," she said with a polite smile and turned to Matsuri, who stopped just after walking into the room, not knowing what to do. "Matsuri-chan, there's a lot of work awaiting you. Better start fast. Kotori-chan will help you."

Matsuri blinked at the sound of an unfamiliar name, and turned her head from left to right. There was another table placed just next to hers, already piled with heaps of documents. A young pretty woman was sitting at the table, giving Matsuri quite unfriendly scowl.

"Hello, Kotori-san," Matsuri greeted her politely, and the woman pouted slightly.

"Hello, Matsuri...san," she replied coldly, and Matsuri shrugged inwardly. Obviously the girl didn't feel like working here or just didn't feel like being nice this morning. Better leave her alone.

Eventually, the jounins decided to go out, muttering angrily under their breaths. The masked ANBU guard appeared in front of them and headed straight towards the door leading to the Kazekage's office. Kashiko didn't stop him. She only glanced at him, and he nodded before he quietly slipped inside.

Matsuri sat down at her table and began to shuffle through the papers scattered on it. Soon it appeared to her many of them ought to lie on Kashiko's desk, or even Kazekage's, and the girl glimpsed at the assistant questioningly.

"It's because of destruction of Konohagakure," the older woman explained. "From now on you have to take up everything concerning Academy's project, while Kotori-chan will work on preparations for chuunin exam."

Matsuri nodded, pondering. To be honest she quite forgot the devastation Gaara had introduced to her at night. After he had left she couldn't sleep at all, remembering everything they had done. Even if she felt sorry for Konoha villagers and ninjas, the happiness blooming inside her just didn't let her grieve for too long. Besides, Gaara had said that Hokage managed to save them somehow, and it was encouraging thought.

Sighing, the girl began her work when Kazekage walked out of his office, looking quite grimly.

"Kotori-san, I need you to find someone to deliver this message, and fast," he ordered, and the young woman took a scroll from his hand.

"Yes, Kazekage-sama," she replied sweetly. "As for tomorrow's afternoon meeting, it has been cancelled."  
"Cancelled?" Gaara frowned briefly. "I suppose nothing can be done about it, considering the current situation. The meeting aside, please notify Sekka to prepare the list of herbs we're short on. It's urgent."

"Of course," Kotori said with the same voice, and Matsuri glanced at her suspiciously. Was it only her or the girl was just trying to flirt with Gaara? "Kazekage-sama, Iwagakure threatens to place embargo on us-"

"Jouseki will handle them," Gaara answered indifferently. "Please tell your father he'll be needed here before the negotiations start."

"I will," Kotori said and bowed slightly, walking out of the room gracefully. Matsuri shook her head to herself. That woman was five year older than Gaara, or maybe even more! What was she hoping to get from addressing him with this tone?

"Matsuri," the redhead uttered and she gazed at him with a nod, carefully avoiding his eyes. If she looked at him, it would be hard not to remember last night's events, and who knows what reaction it could cause in her. It would be a different story if they were alone, but there was Kashiko sitting near, not even mentioning that any councilman or jounin could enter the room at any time.

"Yes?" she answered hesitantly, not knowing if to address him by his title.

"Please, bring me the report after the meeting," he said.

"I will," Matsuri replied and nodded officially, realizing that Kashiko was eyeing them curiously. The older woman surely didn't miss her hesitation nor the fact that Gaara had already addressed her without any honorifics.

The Kazekage walked away and Matsuri followed him with her eyes, with the big happy grin threatening to force itself upon her face. When he finally disappeared behind his door, Kashiko cleared her throat. Matsuri glanced at her, to see the small, friendly smile adorning assistant's lips.

"Matsuri-chan, congratulations," she said, and the girl swallowed, her cheeks immediately warming up. Matsuri briefly considered pretending not to know what Kashiko had meant, but she quickly decided it would be stupid. Probably, the assistant was more or less aware of their relationship, and even if she wasn't, there was no way she would ignore the casual way Matsuri was talking to the Kazekage.

"Um, thank you," she chose to mutter, and began to search for the report she had already finished, with her eyes sticking to the tabletop.

o0o0o0o

Gaara took a few letters, which needed his signature, from his assistant.

"Kashiko-san, please tell Matsuri to bring the report immediately," he said before she walked out. "I can't wait for it any longer."

The older woman inhaled deeply and stopped.

"There's a problem with it, Kazekage-sama," she stated. "It seems it's lost." Before Gaara could comment on her words, she added in a maternal manner: "Being Kazekage isn't an easy task. Especially when the Kazekage is young and handsome."

The redhead glanced at her, astonished. He had no idea what the connection was between Matsuri's lost report and his age, let alone appearances.

"I think the report isn't lost. It just inconspicuously went into someone else's hands," Kashiko explained and Gaara's chest rose with a long, heavy sigh. "If I could suggest something... it would be better to separate Matsuri-chan from Kotori-chan," the woman continued.

The redhead leaned back in his chair and rubbed his chin wordlessly.

"There is so much space in here," Kashiko added and bowed, ready to leave. "Excuse me, Kazekage-sama, I have many things to attend to."

Gaara nodded, wondering if it really would be the best action to let Matsuri work in this room until the chuunin exam ended. Actually, he asked her to be the Academy project coordinator to see her more often, but his plans didn't run that far. Unfortunately, Akatsuki's attack on Konoha turned the schedule upside down, and there was no other way than temporarily reinstate Kotori, who obviously decided to bring up her irritating attitude.

The gentle knocking on the door announced someone's arrival at his door.

"Come in," he said and dipped the quill in ink, getting down to the letters Kashiko had left on his desk. He glanced at the person who entered the room, and was surprised to see Matsuri holding some papers in her hand. It seemed she had already got her report back somehow.

"I brought the report," she said with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry it took so long-"

"Don't worry about it," he interrupted with an emotionless expression. "Probably someone accidentally took it. There's such mayhem in the office."

Matsuri looked stunned, and it seemed that she wanted to say something. The soft red tint coloured her cheeks and Gaara could say Kashiko was actually right about Kotori's messing. Maybe it was time to ponder over his assistant's idea to bring Matsuri and Kotori apart, after all.

The redhead rose to a standing position, waiting for Matsuri to approach the desk. She handed him the report and smiled brightly at him, easily getting him under her spell again. He could have never believed a simple smile could be as much bewitching as the one which adorned her lips at the moment. Moreover, he had never seen Matsuri giving anyone that kind of smile before, and it made him feel even more special. He left the spot swiftly and stepped closer towards his girlfriend, pinning her gaze with his, as if trying to gauge any sign of insincerity, but he didn't find any. Matsuri shifted restlessly under the scrutiny, and he remembered they were still in his office, where any displays of affection would be better withdrawn. He was already seduced into enjoying the prospect of repeating certain actions from the last night, and the notion made him realize that letting Matsuri work next to him wouldn't be the best option, definitely.

o0o0o0o

Matsuri rolled on her back and stared into the darkness, irritated and nervous. She needed to rest thoroughly before the exam, but she couldn't sleep at all. Too many thoughts were disturbing her, preventing her from relaxing and falling into nice slumber. She repeated to herself she would get the rank for sure. Even Gaara himself said so. She was surprised with his utmost certainty, while he was surprised with her lack of self-confidence. "I know what you're capable of," he had only said with the tone of finality, unintentionally putting fair amount of pressure upon her.

The kunoichi drew the covers away and slid to the edge of the bed, letting her feet rest against the smooth cold floor. With a sigh, she got up and slowly went towards the window, looking at the Kazekage Tower, which dark silhouette could be easily distinguished against the starlit sky. She imagined she could spot the familiar figure leaning against the balustrade on the top of the Tower, and the nervousness dwelling within her began to grow at the single thought nagging at her mind. _What if I fail?_

If it was only about her, she would have coped with it. But it was also about Gaara. What people would say to him and about him if his student failed the chuunin exam? The thought itself was unbearable, and Matsuri bit her lip anxiously, embracing herself with her arms. She needed someone to comfort her, to ease her apprehension, but there wasn't anyone she could ask for help. Yakku was out of Suna for gods knew how long, patrolling somewhere far away on the northern border. Darui still didn't accept her relationship with Gaara, and sometimes it seemed to her that he wanted her to go out with Yakku instead. Not that he had been straightforward about it, anyway; he probably realized where her inclinations lay even before she did. The same went for Sari, who still seemed not to bear any grudge, but Matsuri couldn't talk to her like she would do in the old days. They needed to talk everything out first, and Matsuri couldn't actually bring herself to start such a conversation, not even mentioning she simply didn't have time to do that. She had been constantly busy during last several days, to the point where she didn't even have time to see Gaara after work, let alone her other friends. Being overworked made her forget her nervousness, but now it returned with the full force, and Matsuri sighed, remembering Gaara's words. He was absolutely certain she would pass the exam and her doubts seemed groundless to him, so she couldn't find the comfort with him as well.

Taking the deep breath, the girl glanced at the alarm clock. 1.15 and she still couldn't sleep, damn it. What was she supposed to do? Taking herbal sleeping pills before the exam wouldn't be a wise thing, to say the least. Not even mentioning she didn't have any. Going out and training wasn't the option as well, so she only cursed quietly and went back to bed. Lying down on her back with her forearms crossed under the back of her head, she closed her eyes and tried to relax. It didn't take long when Gaara's face appeared in her imagination, and she smiled dreamily to herself. They were going to see each other in the morning, before the exam would start, and she just couldn't wait. Even if she could see him on a daily basis in the office, it didn't satisfy her at all. She needed to be alone with him, just like before, when he came to her place at night. They would sit next to each other, talk and enjoy each other's company. She would look at him and secretly revel in the sight, and he would say her name with that voice...

Dreaming about her precious redhead, Matsuri slowly drifted to sleep without even realizing it. When she woke up, it was dawn already and she jumped out of the bed as if she'd been stabbed with a kunai. She wasn't supposed to oversleep for the date, damn it! Growling to herself, she dressed and washed herself swiftly. Then she jumped across the window-sill, dashing towards the place where Gaara was supposed to wait for her... if he didn't get angry and went back to the Tower yet.

Fortunately, he patiently waited there and watched her running, until she came to a halt right before him and panted, leaning forward and putting her hands on her knees.

"I'm... sorry..." she choked out at last. "I... overslept—"

"I can say," he replied, and the spark of amusement lit deep in his eyes. Matsuri straightened up and pouted slightly.

"I've never overslept for a mission," she remarked, as if trying to confirm her value.

"But the date is a different story?" Gaara asked innocently, and she narrowed her eyes.

"You're trying to make me feel bad on purpose!" she accused, scowling at him. "I'm really sorry... but I couldn't sleep at night," she admitted, attempting to make it sound like it was something normal, even if unpleasant. The redhead shook his head at her.

"I told you that you have nothing to worry about," he said. "Matsuri, shinobi need to have faith in themselves."

The girl didn't answer, slightly irritated at how easily he had read her. Of course, she knew he was right, but even if she repeated the statement to herself, it didn't make her self-confidence grow stronger.

"Excuse me for a moment," Gaara said and walked away towards three jounins, who had been standing in a distance as if announcing they needed to talk with him without any witnesses. Matsuri waited until they finished talking, and noticed there were more ninjas were moving around, peeking at her with their curiosity piqued. Even if her relationship with the Kazekage became a common thing and most of the people grew accustomed to the novelty, the couple had gone out together in public only once before. Of course, people would be shooting glances at their direction, and Matsuri sighed at the thought, but there was nothing she could do about it, except for quietly accepting the nuisance.

Gaara approached her and they slowly walked towards the training ground where the exam was going to start at 12. Since Sunagakure didn't host any guests during the exam, except for a few people from other villages who happened to be currently staying there, the security measures weren't much stricter than usual. The only difference was the new pattern the exam was supposed to follow. The candidates were going to fight against each other in preliminaries, but the final fight would have those facing jounins instead of other chuunins-to-be. Matsuri wondered who she would be fighting with, and she had a bad feeling about this. Kotori was the person, who was assigning sparring partners to respective candidates, and she certainly wanted Matsuri to be defeated in a very spectacular manner.

"What is it?" Gaara asked, obviously noticing her uneasiness.

"Nevermind," she replied, shaking her head slightly.

"You won't fail," he stated, and Matsuri swallowed painfully, pushing away the image of Kotori's triumphant smirk.

"Please, stop saying this," she pleaded, and the redhead gazed at her with a frown. "You're putting... pressure on me."

Gaara didn't comment on her words, only pondered over something in silence.

"I guess it wasn't good for you to train under me," he said at last, and Matsuri blinked, surprised. She wanted to deny it, but he continued. "The longer we trained, the clearer you could see the difference in our powers, couldn't you?"

The girl nodded slowly, knowing already where he was getting to.

"I never regretted choosing you," she remarked, slightly shaking her head.

"So didn't I," he said, and she grinned happily. He didn't smile in return, but the look he gave her was so warm that she had a hard time to control her spontaneous impulse of hugging him. "But it wasn't exactly my point."

"You think I lost my self-confidence because of you," Matsuri guessed.

"Yes, you could say that," Gaara answered, glancing at her from the corner of his eye.

"Well, I've never had much of it in the first place... but now, when I think about it..." The girl nodded to herself, rubbing her chin.

"You started comparing yourself to me and you decided you were weak. You only forgot most of the ninjas from our village are quite weak in comparison to me," Gaara said and Matsuri blinked, slanting an uncertain glance at him. The words would sound conceited if someone else had uttered them, but Gaara's tone was matter-of-fact and the girl knew pretty well that what he had said was the obvious, undeniable truth.

"I couldn't help it, could I?" she tried to defend herself. "Students always compare themselves to their teachers."

"That's why I said it wasn't good for you, nor anyone else, to train under me," the redhead said and Matsuri shook her head impatiently.

"You're wrong," she argued zealously. "You were the best teacher in the world."

"I think you're exaggerating a bit, to put it mildly," Gaara contradicted, and Matsuri rolled her eyes.

"Maybe. But only a bit. Don't you remember what I told you about your siblings' students? Seriously, they cried so much over not choosing you!" She laughed at the memory. "They really envied me!"

The Kazekage looked quite stunned.

"They... envied you?"

"Yeah," Matsuri said with a beam. "I told them you were always patient, never laughed at me nor mocked me, you just accepted that I was afraid of weapons, and you helped me to overcome that fear. And they envied me so much!"

Gaara stopped walking and gazed at her with unreadable expression. Matsuri stopped as well, bewildered. Eventually, she shifted uncomfortably under the stare he was giving her.

"What? Did I say something wrong?" she asked in a quiet voice, with a slight frown creasing her forehead. The redhead didn't answer her question, though. He only lifted her palm with his, and brushed the knuckles of her fingers with his lips, bowing slightly. Matsuri's eyes widened, and she instinctively put her other hand upon her heart, then pressed it against her lips to block the surprised gasp tearing out from her throat. The blood rushed to her cheeks at the thought of people passing by and watching the scene, but she would better not to look around to meet their avid stares.

"I will never be able to fully express how much I appreciate what you have done for me," Gaara uttered quietly, softly, raising his eyes at her and looking at her in a way that made her heart pound faster. Matsuri gulped and nodded swiftly, the corners of her mouth curving upwards with a timid smile.

"You were worth it, weren't you?" she replied playfully, but her smile faded when she had seen his serious expression. Actually, Gaara still looked slightly confused with her previous words, and the realization hit her that she wasn't the only one lacking self-confidence there. She was just lacking it in a different field than him, and oddly enough, she found the notion quite endearing. It was good to know he wasn't perfect either. "I admit though that I would have never thought you would become Kazekage someday," she added with an impish little smile, and to her amazement Gaara's expression reflected a sense of guilt.

"I'm sorry," he said seriously, and she blinked.

"For what?" she stammered, completely unknowing what he had meant.

"For hurting you," the redhead replied, and Matsuri held her breath, looking away when the pain and humiliation, which she had already managed to forget, went back into her consciousness. She shook her head, biting her lower lip, and definitely wishing the conversation would take place in somewhere private. She wanted to hear this apology again, followed by the detailed explanation; besides, she needed to express some of the sadness and anger she had experienced because of him, and ask many questions that needed answers from such a long time. Unfortunately, they had to part now. Gaara had to go back to the Tower before the exam, to put on his Kage robes and take care of many things she probably didn't even know anything about, and she had to walk back to her place and prepare for the exam. Then they would probably see each other after the exam has ended, but she already missed him.

**The end of chapter 13.**

**The next chapter: Fights and explanations**

A/N

Sekka=talented Suna medic nin appearing in manga ch.251 and anime ep.10 of Naruto Shippuuden


	14. 14 Fights and explanations

Hello, everyone.

Before you plunge into the story, please help me choose the plot I should develop next. Go to my profile and check on two "trailers" I submitted. You will find extensive summaries there, plus some random fragments. Then you can leave a comment or cast a vote in the poll in my profile.

Betareading: none. I have no luck with betareaders *sigh*

Thanks to ZelgadisGW for help with the fighting scene.

Story image by tariah23 . deviantart . com

I have her permission to use it.

© "Naruto" is created and copyrighted by Kishimoto Masashi, and owned by Shueisha Publishing Co., Ltd. and Studio Pierrot.

Enjoy.

o0o0o0o

**Alive And Victorious**

**Chapter 14. Fights and explanations**

Matsuri felt her hands sweating a bit when she paced towards the centre of the training ground. The crowd, filling the wooden stands which were built especially for that event, rippled with whispers, and the kunoichi imagined she knew perfectly well what people were talking about.

Kazekage's student. Moreover, Kazekage's girlfriend. They probably couldn't wait to see what she was capable of.

_Most of the ninjas from our village are quite weak in comparison to me_, she remembered Gaara's words and forced herself to inhale slowly, to blunt the apprehension which started jarring at her chest after she had been told who she would be fighting with. Because, unfortunately, the jounin she was about to face in battle wasn't amongst the 'most' Gaara had mentioned earlier.

Matsuri reached the spot where her opponent was waiting for her, and stopped. Trying not to show that she was rather scared, she nodded at him, scanning his face to read his thoughts hidden under purple lines of Kabuki paint. He nodded back at her, his hands still shoved into his pockets, and took a defensive stance, visibly relaxed. Matsuri ground her teeth and thought that Kotori should die a very slow and painful death for setting this up.

The proctor signaled the beginning of the fight, and the girl grabbed several kunai blades from her pouch, trying to decide what strategy would be the most effective to fight one of the best puppeteers in Sunagakure; or maybe even the very best after Elder Chiyo's passing. Matsuri threw the blades at him and took out a few shurikens immediately, while he easily dodged her attack, knocking her weapons off with his own kunais. He didn't even touch the scrolls on his back in which his puppets were sealed. It meant he wanted her to fight him seriously, to corner him until he had no other choice than using the puppets. On the other hand, he might be demonstrating that he considered her a weak, unworthy opponent, and it sparked anger in her. Hurling shurikens in his direction, she jumped back to extend the distance between them in case he attempted to engage her in full-contact fight. She knew she wouldn't last long if he had done it. The puppeteers usually avoided direct attacks, but there was no telling what Kankurou would do while fighting his brother's girlfriend.

Naturally, he knocked shurikens off, too. Matsuri concluded he wasn't going to attack her, at least not yet. Maybe he waited for her to get tired. Taking a neutral stance, she breathed deeply through her nose in attempt to control her anxiety and irritation. Even if Kankurou was planning to provoke her, she shouldn't let his endeavour succeed. She knew pretty well that she severely lacked skills and experience to fight him equally, so she decided that she would try to make him use at least one of his puppets. From fighting Darui, she had learnt quite a bit about puppeteers' weaknesses, but she was rather sure she wouldn't have any chance to explore them during this particular fight. Darui was aspiring to become a puppeteer, too, but he wasn't even close to Kankurou's level, actually.

There was no point in delaying the inevitable. Puppetmaster or not, she had to fight him and give her best, to make Gaara proud of her. To prove him that he was better teacher than he thought.

Matsuri took out four kunai blades and threw them in the air. They floated in front of her, connected with a thin, blue thread of her chakra. It required a lot of concentration from her, not even mentioning she could handle only four kunais at the same time. She wasn't cut to be the puppeteer, definitely. The corners of Kankurou's lips, rimmed with purple paint, curved upwards almost imperceptibly at the sight. The kunais rippled when Matsuri's focus momentarily distracted, and she reacted immediately, shooting them straight in her opponent's direction.

"Soushuujin!"

As expected, the puppeteer knocked them off with the same technique, launching at her twenty shurikens at least. _So it finally started_, Matsuri thought and formed seals, kneeling down and pressing her hands against the ground. "Doton: Doroku Gaeshi!" she exclaimed and the shurikens dug into the earth wall, which appeared before her. Jumping back, she released the technique and grabbed the scroll from her pouch; the secret scroll, which even Gaara didn't know she had.

"Kuchiyose: Fuuma Shuriken!" she called and flung the weapon at her opponent, who deftly dodged it, shooting chakra threads from the tips of his fingers to connect them to the metal blades. Matsuri pulled the large shuriken back with the wire, and Kankurou nodded in approval. That type of shuriken wasn't popular amongst Suna shinobi; when Matsuri learnt that such weapon existed at all, she decided it would be worth an effort to master it.

"So you weren't hanging around with Sakura for nothing?" the puppeteer asked with a wink, and Matsuri blinked, completely surprised. With her hand steadily clinging to the giant shuriken, she watched her opponent's face critically. Kankurou was quite relaxed but she could finally see he wasn't particularly happy that he had to fight her. Both of them were unwilling to face each other, but they didn't actually have any other choice. Now she could better understand his attitude, and the anger she had felt gradually vanished. He wasn't trying to provoke her at all; he only decided he would let her take the initiative.

Kankurou sent her knowing look and she nodded lightly, before she threw the smoke bomb onto the ground. When the smoke enveloped her, she swiftly fastened the explosive note to the fuuma shuriken and threw it at her opponent. Kankurou jumped back but then he noticed the note which began to burn already. Before it exploded, he immediately shielded himself with Karasu. The explosion made the puppet fly into the air. _Yes!_ Matsuri yelled to herself, but it was too early to celebrate, since Karasu launched a shower of senbons onto her. Actually, Matsuri developed immunity to the most common poisons, but Kankurou could use the new rare ones, most probably his very own inventions. The girl decided she couldn't let the needles hit her, and pulled the shuriken back with the wire again, rotating the weapon in her hand until it knocked all the senbons off. The puppet attacked her with more senbons and Matsuri planned to repel them with the shuriken, just as before, but the weapon was wrenched away from her hands unexpectedly. The kunoichi felt her heart leap when she noticed the active chakra thread connected to it. Throwing herself onto the ground, she made the earth wall raise again just before the needles hit her. Several ones dug into the wall, but most of them only rose higher and eventually floated above Matsuri, who just stared in awe. She knew she would never have a chance to behold advanced Soushuujin on that level, and survive it. The girl formed seals for Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu and was promptly drawn down into the ground. She moved towards the spot when Kankurou had been standing and grabbed his ankles, pulling him down. As it turned out, it was Karasu again. Matsuri cursed mentally but she had no time to react at all, before the puppet's wooden sides opened wide, and then closed around her, effectively restraining her.

Kankurou was moving back, preparing to release his prisoner from inside the puppet, when he noticed the blood dripping down Karasu's joints. The puppeteer froze in the mid-step, his palms sweating immediately. What the hell has happened? There was no way he could accidentally hurt Matsuri. All the hidden weapons rested motionless in their sheaths, so how did the blood...?

The puppeteer blinked, confused. If anything would happen to his brother's precious girlfriend, Gaara would simply kill him. No, he would do much more than only kill him. He would make him beg for mercy for hours. The thought made Kankurou's skin tingle unpleasantly, since he had heard already Gaara's victims begging for mercy, and he knew he would do anything to avoid such fate. Immediately activating chakra threads connected to his puppet's bulgy trunk, he made the wooden lids move aside swiftly, and... his brother jumped from the inside, sprinkling the drops of blood. The spectators let out an astounded cry, and Kankurou faltered in a momentary shock, either, before he glanced at the stands and caught a glimpse of Gaara's white and blue robe and hat. The girl used Henge no Jutsu, obviously, even if it was certain it wouldn't distract her opponent for too long. The puppeteer scrutinized the figure standing before him, as he briefly marveled at the flawlessness of the technique. _This fight is becoming more and more interesting_, he thought to himself, when suddenly the fistful of sand obscured his view, and the grains got into his eyes, making him squint. Damn, he shouldn't let his guard down even for a moment. He was fighting his brother's student, after all. True that many Suna shinobi could manage manipulating a little bit of sand by weaving their chakra into it, but to think Matsuri would use the complex trick like that, successfully confusing him... He had to admit that he was rather impressed. Naturally, she didn't have enough chakra to maintain two techniques for too long, and when he finally got rid of the sand from his eyes, he couldn't see his opponent anywhere. Good he had connected chakra threads to her belt earlier. Gently moving his fingers, he located her hideout and pondered what to do. She was bleeding, and he had to determine first if she needed immediate treatment or not. The bleeding seemed to be quite profuse, actually, even if Matsuri didn't cut any artery. On the other hand, he had just started enjoying the fight, plus the girl didn't give up still.

She chose to attack before he came to any conclusion. She emerged from under the ground, and Kankurou moved his fingers, confused a bit, since the chakra threads he had connected to his opponent earlier didn't move at all. He concluded she must have made a clone, so he ignored the fake Matsuri standing in front of him and looked around, just in time to spot her in a distance. Obviously, she realized he had connected chakra threads to her, and she cut them.

The girl hurled the smoke bomb onto the ground again, and flung the jouhyou at Karasu, attempting to immobilise him. Kankurou pretended he had fallen for the trick, and the puppet collapsed onto the ground, before its arms disconnected and swiftly jabbed at the motionless clone with poisoned blades. The clone disappeared with a puff, and Kankurou scrutinized his opponent, since the smoke had already dispersed.

He noticed at once the blood trickling down her fingers. Most likely, the girl cut her own palm in order to distract him. She must have guessed he would be trying not to injure her by any means. Annoyed that she had managed to trick him, he shot chakra threads from his fingertips, making them as thin as he could manage. They successfully connected, and Kankurou jerked his fingers. Matsuri lost her footing, dangling limply in the midair. She gave only one surprised cry, struggling against chakra thread connected to her belt, before she commenced Soushuujin again. What a shame she was able to shot only four kunais at the same time. Kankurou repelled them rather easily, while the girl cut the chakra thread and collapsed onto the ground, quickly raising to a standing position. The puppeteer smirked to himself. Matsuri's idea to use distractions was quite smart, but the outcome of their fight was obvious from the very beginning. Now the girl was short on chakra, tired and bleeding, but still unwilling to give up, apparently.

"Doton: Doryuusou!" she yelled, forming seals, and Kankurou jumped high, getting his next scroll and releasing the second puppet.

"Karakuri Engeki: Sanshōuo!" he exclaimed before the sharp rock spikes could pierce through him. The wooden salamander fell down with a thump and the puppeteer landed on it, reactivating Karasu at the same time. Matsuri stepped back, carefully measuring her chances. She managed to go further than she thought she was able to, since she made Kankurou use two puppets already. She wished she could have gone further, but it was rather impossible. Resigned, the girl watched her opponent indifferently, aware that if he decided to attack it would be the definite end of their fight. Kankurou didn't attack though. He eyed her carefully, then turned to the proctor and nodded.

The fight was over.

o0o0o0o

Gaara watched the ninjas, who passed the exam, approaching Baki and taking flak jackets and pouches from jounin's hands. Matsuri was also there, looking tired and displeased a bit. Her injuries, which were mostly minor except for the cut on her left hand, were already dressed, and Gaara slightly pursed his lips at his girlfriend's recklessness. Her determined yet reckless actions reminded him of Naruto and he didn't know if he found it endearing or rather annoying. Matsuri wasn't skilled enough yet to follow in Naruto's footsteps, so the redhead decided he was going to lecture his girlfriend on the matter later.

All the equipments were already dispensed and the festivities were about to begin. The Kazekage congratulated the happy ninjas who just got the chuunin rank and finally approached his girlfriend. She nodded at him while he meaningfully glanced at her left hand.

"You shouldn't do that, Matsuri," he disapproved, and she snorted quietly, pouting.

"I won't do that again," she said with a shrug, and he sighed inwardly since he could say with the absolute certainty that, opposed to her words, she would have done it again without a second thought.

"Kankurou might me confused but someone else wouldn't be," Gaara remarked, getting into the teaching mode again.

"But I was fighting him not someone else, wasn't I?" Matsuri said and the certain suspicion sprouted in Kazekage's mind.

"You knew?" he asked to confirm his assumption.

The girl slanted a glance at him and Gaara nodded to himself. Of course she knew. He should have learnt it long time ago that she was quite sharp when it came to reading people. She spotted pretty fast that Kankurou was holding back, trying not to injure her but in the same time make the fight look serious.

"Well done," he praised at last and Matsuri grinned but the expression of joy quickly faded away from her face.

"He went soft on me," she accused.

"Of course he did," Gaara answered, surprised. She wouldn't seriously think about fighting Kankurou without any handicap, would she?

Matsuri growled almost inaudibly at his words but didn't argue, only her shoulders sagged. The redhead watched her, astonished. She had just got the chuunin rank yet she didn't look happy at all.

"You made him get serious with your determination," the redhead added, wondering if her attitude was about the exam or something else.

Matsuri shook her head miserably. "I decided to give it my all but then I realized I couldn't stop holding back. I tried to stop but I succeeded only in part," she admitted, looking away, and the Kazekage pondered over her words silently. The fight must have been difficult for both parties involved. Kankurou didn't want to hurt Matsuri because she was his brother's girlfriend. Matsuri didn't want to hurt Kankurou because he was her boyfriend's brother. Naturally, ninjas shouldn't let such feelings disturb them. Ninjas should rule their emotions with iron fist of their willpower, and cut their feelings out ruthlessly. But Gaara had learnt long ago that trying to kill one's feelings resulted only in anguish and solitude, so he decided not to reproach Matsuri nor Kankurou for what had turned out to be their serious weakness. They must have been pretty much aware of it nonetheless.

"Don't worry about that," he answered, and the girl blinked at him, bewildered. "I mean you did great," he explained at her confused expression, and her features softened immediately, her eyes searching his for acknowledgement.

"Hello, lovebirds!" the voice uttered from behind their back. The redhead looked back calmly while Matsuri cringed and blushed madly, recognizing Temari's voice.

"Hello, Temari-sama," the girl said shyly and glimpsed at the older kunoichi as if she was afraid. Temari grinned at her and turned to the Kazekage.

"Gaara, the herbalists requested your approval on the supplies. If you could go to the greenhouse before the twilight falls, I would set off to Konoha tomorrow morning."

"I will go there immediately," the redhead answered. "Is Sekka waiting there?"

Temari nodded and walked away without a word, and Matsuri gave an inaudible sigh of relief. To be honest, she wasn't good at dealing with Gaara's siblings' sarcastic, flippant ways. Fortunately, they weren't talking to her too often, but she could say they were watching her carefully.

"Let's go," Gaara uttered and they headed for the greenhouse, while Matsuri's thoughts drifted to the wretched village.

"Why is Akatsuki doing this?" she inquired. "Hokage's in coma... The village's destroyed... Why? What for?"

Gaara didn't reply at all and Matsuri glanced at him suspiciously.

"Did they attack Konoha for the same reason they had assaulted our village?" she guessed with a frown. "Were they... looking for someone?"

Still no reply.

"For Naruto-san?" she prompted, and Gaara frowned lightly.

"You're too smart for your own good," he commented. "It's a secret, Matsuri. You're not supposed to know."

The compliment made her glad, but the 'secret' part got her slightly irked.

"It was hard to miss his determination to save you," she said in a defensive tone. "Plus, Kankurou-sama had said you two had much in common and each one of you would have ran across the entire world to save the other. Naruto-san... He had done it... together with her-" Matsuri ceased speaking and bit her lip. They were reaching their destination already, and what she needed the least was crying in front of the medics in the greenhouse. They could have thought that the Kazekage had an argument with his girlfriend, and even made her cry.

"I will wait outside," she decided, and Gaara nodded, walking into the greenhouse, while she strolled down the path between the patches of various kinds of succulents. The tiny lizards, basking on the pavement, were escaping from under her feet, while she walked, lost in her thoughts. Eventually, Gaara joined her and she was quite astonished with his grave, focused expression.

"Any problems?" she asked softly, trying not to push him but still show that she cared. The redhead glanced at her, obviously not shaken out from his reverie, and stepped ahead. "Gaara? What is it?" Matsuri prompted, frowning. The only thing she could think of was more bad news from Konohagakure, or maybe another hidden village, and it wasn't the encouraging thought at all.

"What did you mean by 'he had done it together with her'"? Gaara asked suddenly, when they entered the maze of brooms and junipers spreading behind the greenhouse. Matsuri blinked, realizing he referred to her previous words concerning Naruto. She would rather not talk about it let alone give a detailed explanation, but he apparently waited for it so she sighed quite heavily.

"I meant that he had saved you together with her. He helped her. That's all," she said quickly. The redhead didn't look satisfied, though.

"Helped her?" he echoed, and Matsuri couldn't comprehend the reason to shock and bewilderment in his voice.

"When we arrived there—" she uttered uncertainly. _I mean, when I saw you lying on the ground, with all of them standing around you..._ "—Elder Chiyo and Naruto were kneeling by your side—" ..._she was wheezing and he trembled, his cheeks stained with tears, and then I realized..._ "—pressing their hands against your chest—" ..._I realized that you were gone..._

Matsuri felt tears welling in her eyes and blinked a couple of times, attempting to push them down. The images etched into her mind were just as vivid as if the tragedy had happened only a few days ago.

"I didn't know about that," Gaara pronounced with a flat voice. "I had no idea."

"About what?" she managed to utter, her voice breaking.

"I was certain that Naruto had talked her into using Kishō Tensei on me," the redhead explained, his voice heavy with reverence and gratitude. "Nobody told me that he gave me his chakra as well-" he broke off.

"He did," Matsuri choked out, tears threatening to freely streak down her face. "Their chakra blazed like an azure fire, and then... you opened your eyes—" Unable to speak, the girl hid her face in her hands. Gaara hugged her to his chest, and she grabbed his robe, soaking the white fabric with her tears.

"I caused so much distress to you, Matsuri. I'm very sorry for that," he said, his breath warm against her ear. She shook her head wordlessly and pressed her ear against his chest to listen to his heartbeat - the steady, continuous sound announcing that he was still with her. That he was alive.

"You're alive," she whispered as if trying to confirm it to herself. "You're alive."

He brushed the top of her head with his lips, clasping her tighter. Matsuri raised her head, beaming, and he wiped her tears with his thumb, his expression still holding some of initial bewilderment at what he had just learnt about his revival.

"For what they have done, I will be grateful forever," the girl said quietly. "I often visit Elder Chiyo's grave—"

"I know," he said with a nod. "I've seen you once," he explained at the questioning look in Matsuri's eyes. "I've kind of... followed you, but I retreated once you entered the tombs area. I didn't want to disturb you."

"You followed me? You stalker!" the girl teased, and she could swear he pouted a bit.

"I'm not a stalker," the redhead contradicted reproachingly. "I wanted to talk to you."

"You can talk to me now," she invited, smiling. Gaara gave her long, intense look, and she couldn't help but swallow under that unblinking stare. Suddenly Sari's long forgotten words _How can you look into those eyes and not fall for him? _emerged from her memory, and Matsuri averted her eyes, abashed.

"Matsuri?" he prompted, and she shook her head. "What is it?" he asked, the surprise clearly distinct in his tone.

"Just leave it," the girl pleaded, more and more disconcerted. "It's no big deal."

"Isn't it?" he wondered, gently trying to lift her chin to make her look at him. "It doesn't seem so."

"I'm saying it's no big deal!" she stressed, dismayed by the mere thought of admitting aloud what had just come to her mind.

"You promised not to hide anything from me, right?" he said, and Matsuri shook her head indignantly.

"I only promised to come to you if I had any problems!" she protested, angry at how he was trying to use her own words against her.

"And you didn't," Gaara stated calmly, and the girl gaped at him, astounded.

"Meaning?" she inquired, furrowing her brow, her voice dripping with suspiciousness.

"Meaning you never told me that your family stopped providing for you," he explained, and Matsuri lowered her head, embarrassed beyond all imagination.

"How did you know?" she asked after a long silence.

"Temari and Kankurou had seen you in the shopping district. You were selling things. Plus, your physical strength and your weight considerably decreased. You weren't eating properly, were you?" Gaara guessed, and Matsuri stepped back, with tears of mortification and anger stinging her eyes.

"What was I supposed to do?" she spat in return. "To ask you for money? Do you think I don't have any pride?"

"I, the Kazekage of this village, won't let any ninja, who is under my command, suffer from malnutrition," Gaara replied sharply. "Why didn't you request support from our fund for orphans?"

"So it's actually a formal conversation with the Kazekage?" she scoffed hotly, clenching her trembling palms into fists.

"And what was _that_ supposed to mean?" the redhead drawled, his eyes narrowed, and Matsuri swallowed nervously. She won't be intimidated, she just won't! "Answer me!" he demanded in the same drawl, and the girl cringed. Damn, she forgot already he could be that scary!

"G-Gaara, it's no big d-deal, really—" she stuttered weakly, her voice shaking a bit. The redhead crossed his arms on his chest.

"It's no big deal?" he repeated in a hard tone. "Your strength is no big deal?"

"Wait—"

"Your health is no big deal? Your life is no big deal?"

"You're right, okay?" she threw in quickly. "Gaara—"

"I would have brought up that matter earlier if I was fully aware of your stubbornness and stupidity!" he announced in a growl, and Matsuri flinched. The person she always wanted to impress had just called her stupid! "Tell me, Matsuri," Gaara continued mercilessly, "what would have happened if you failed the mission because you were weak and unable to fight properly? What would have happened if you failed the mission because you were short on weapons? Did you ever think - and, obviously, the answer is 'no' - how would your injury or, in the worst case, death, make your friends feel? How it would make _me_ feel?

Matsuri didn't expect him to strike a nerve.

"Believe me, I know," she said in a teary voice, biting her trembling lip. "But we are ninjas. We can meet our fate at any time—"

"Don't you really see the difference?" he interrupted, his tone softer. Matsuri ducked her head because she did, of course. She only never thought before she was being selfish.

"I do, Gaara," she admitted at last, swallowing the tears. "And I'm sorry."

The redhead let out a long exhalation.

"I'm sorry, too," he said in a hushed tone. "I just don't want you to linger around shopping district like a second-rate merchant, and I certainly don't want you to be molested by some—" he broke off.

"Your sister really told you every little bit," Matsuri sighed. "But it happened only once, Gaara. I swear."

He only looked down at her wordlessly, and she laughed nervously.

"I know, I know," she said defensively. "Let's just leave it, okay? I am the chuunin now." She smiled at the thought. "You have no idea how long I was waiting for that," she admitted. "Sometimes I really—" she put her hand upon her mouth. _Sometimes I really couldn't wait to earn more money._ "I won't say it," she decided. "I don't want you to freak out again."

"I don't freak out—" Gaara started, but Matsuri put a finger upon his mouth swiftly.

"I don't want to argue anymore," she said in a pleading voice. "Let's just talk about something else, okay?"

The redhead looked into her eyes and nodded, eventually.

"You still owe me an explanation," he said after she withdrew her hand.

"Explanation?" Matsuri furrowed.

"From before," Gaara clarified. "You said I could talk to you now, and then you made such puzzling face-" he let the last sentence hang in the air.

"You owe me an explanation, too," Matsuri remarked smartly, in an attempt to change the topic. "About Naruto-san."

Gaara's expression grew serious.

"What you're asking involves his personal safety. Besides, it's a political matter. I can't tell you, Matsuri."

The kunoichi expected such answer, so she only nodded calmly and began counting on her fingers.

"One, he had been trying to protect you from Seimei by any means. Two, he had ran from Konoha to rescue you and even decided to give you his own chakra to—" Her voice faltered a bit. "To bring you back to life," she finished after taking a deep breath. "Three, Kankurou-sama had said you two have much in common. I was surprised, to put it mildly. Naruto-san's completely different from you, even if it actually seemed you two share some unique bond. But then we have four; six months after Akatsuki's attack on our village, they destroy Konoha. So the answer is..." The girl rubbed her chin, and lowered her voice. "It's the only thing that comes to my mind, even if it's hard to embrace." She raised her head and looked Gaara in the eye. "He is the Jinchuuriki, like you, right?" she inquired uncertainly.

"Those are secrets, which could put you in a great danger, Matsuri, if some people learnt that you know them," Gaara warned in a low-pitched voice. "Do not talk about those matters with anyone except for me, understood? Even if those are only your guesses, do not share them even with your best friends."

"So I was right," Matsuri said with a shiver. "Poor Naruto-san..."

"Naruto will manage. He's more powerful you could ever think of. Besides, his master is always with him. He won't let Akatsuki do any harm to Naruto. You have to worry about yourself, Matsuri," Gaara stressed, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Promise me you won't speak to anyone about our conversation, or I might not be able to protect you."

"I won't, Gaara," she nodded seriously, looking straight into his eyes to confirm the gravity of her statement. "I promise."

He seemed to believe her since the tension faded away from his expression. He was still holding her gaze, though, and Matsuri smiled lightly, tilting her head.

"I promise," she echoed, but he didn't seem to register her words. He was giving her that look again, intense and almost possessive, and she laughed nervously, forcing herself not to stutter.

"It's your turn now," Gaara reminded darkly, and she frowned. "For an explanation," he added, and Matsuri panicked again.

"Hey, you didn't give me any explanation, actually!" she protested fervently. "I had to guess everything by myself! It just doesn't count!"

"It doesn't matter. You've got an answer to your question, and now you're going to give an answer to mine," he said indifferently, his grasp on her shoulders tightening.

"Why can't you just leave it? It's no big deal, really!" she repeated for the tenth time, her voice imploring.

"Because I'm intrigued."

"I didn't know you were so stubborn!" the kunoichi complained, pouting, and she could swear she had just seen the tiniest of smirks momentarily crossing his lips.

"And I didn't know you didn't trust me," Gaara replied, releasing her and crossing his arms. Matsuri froze with her mouth slightly open. _Talk about manipulative bastards!_

"Okay!" she growled, averting her gaze. "But there is someone else involved so I can only tell you it was about your eyes."

"About my eyes?" he repeated, apparently stunned. "What about them?"

_They are amazing. They are... just mesmerizing, you idiot!_

"I can't tell you," Matsuri insisted, her face burning. "I can't betray he-, um, someone."

The redhead watched her for what seemed to be an eternity.

"I see," he said slowly at last, and the girl swallowed, inconspicuously crossing her fingers for luck. She knew Sari would just kill her if Matsuri revealed her friend's inclinations. She tried her best to keep the secret but if Gaara pushed the matter further she would be in trouble. To think that he dared to lecture her on stubbornness!

Matsuri glanced at him to check if he was going to insist, but he obviously gave up and she suppressed the sigh of relief which threatened to escape her lips.

"We, um, we have to go back soon, right?" she suggested, aware that her friends would tease her to no end about how long she was gone with her boyfriend. Gaara nodded in silence, but neither of them made any move to leave. They mutely looked at each other and Matsuri felt slight tremor of nervous anticipation creeping up her spine. She couldn't deny she wanted_ it_ to happen, even if she felt anxious and flustered at the same time. She often wondered how it would feel the second time, but it was certainly different thing to dream about it in the middle of the night than to stand in front of Gaara in the bright daylight and wait for him to make the move. Actually, he looked more amazing than in any of her dreams, and his constant stare was everything he needed to make her bashfulness speed up at her, taking away all her confidence. When he stepped closer into her personal space, Matsuri's head spinned and she swallowed, her lips parting instinctively. Gaara slowly lowered his gaze until it reached her mouth. His hand followed, cupping her chin, and he brushed her lower lip with his thumb, his eyes never leaving her slightly trembling lips. The girl's heartbeat grew wild in a instant when his other hand sneaked around her waist to bring her closer. She let out a shaky sigh, and gently put her palms against his white robe, spreading her fingers against his chest. Gaara nudged at her chin with his fingers until she raised her face, looking straight into his eyes. Like in a trance, she stared into twin pools of hazy turquoise, as they seemed to draw her in, until the redhead leant forward and she could feel his breath on her lips moments before he kissed her. Then her eyelids slipped shut on their own, and her hands clenched upon his robe at the sensation of skin brushing against skin, breath mingling with breath. It was all so new to her, still; exciting yet disturbing, enticing yet awkward, and all she could do was cling to him while he held her chin, kissing her in hungrier, more unhesitating manner than the first time. It didn't take long when his hand, resting at the small of her back, left the spot and captured her wrist. Then he released her chin and grasped her other wrist, gently drawing her hands up until they locked around his neck. Matsuri's legs were already buckling, so she leant against him easily at the wordless insistence of his palm sliding down her back and pressing against it. They were so close now that she could feel every rise and fall of his chest, while he breathed rapidly, his heart pounding next to hers. Suddenly, she heard someone's footsteps, and both of them stepped back simultaneously, their heads turning in the direction from which the unknown person was coming. Matsuri inhaled deeply, pressing her trembling hands against her sides and attempting to control her knees. She wasn't looking at Gaara at all, all her efforts concentrated on making the impression that nothing has happened, and her knees didn't turn into the melted butter at all. The footsteps were nearer and nearer, and finally Kankurou emerged from behind the line of junipers, strolling leisurely towards them. He nodded at them with his hands in his pockets, and stopped in front of his brother.

"Here you are," the puppeteer said. "Sekka was—" he broke off and frowned, eyeing the couple meticulously. "Did I, uh, just interrupt something?" he inquired suspiciously, his eyes wandering from Gaara's face to Matsuri's and vice versa. Matsuri shook her head briefly, all too aware the lie was transparent, while Gaara spoke, although without responding to Kankurou's question.

"What about Sekka?" the redhead asked, absolutely calm, albeit pinky tint staining his cheekbones betrayed him. Matsuri didn't even want to think how her own face must have surely looked. Even if she could tense her muscles to stop the trembling running all over her body, she wasn't able to cool down her heated cheeks, and Kankurou wouldn't be a first-rate shinobi if he overlooked such details.

"He was looking for you," the puppeteer replied, quickly masking his smirk with the nonchalant expression.

"I've only just been in a greenhouse," Gaara said, furrowing, and Kankurou shrugged.

"You know Sekka. He might be a genius, but he's too scatter-brained for his own good. He probably forgot something important and remembered it just after you were gone."

The redhead nodded in an imperious manner, while Matsuri pursed her lips, annoyed, not letting the sigh of disappointment tumble off her mouth. To think they were disturbed just because of some guy's wool-gathering!

"I suppose we have to go back there," Gaara remarked and Matsuri nodded briefly, not looking at him. Kankurou watched them curiously but he didn't utter a word. If he only tried, Matsuri couldn't promise she would be able to stop herself from throwing some caustic remarks. Together, the trio headed back for the greenhouse, pretending that nothing has happened at all.

**The end of chapter 14.**

**Chapter 15. Return of the old friend**

Soushuujin=Manipulating Attack Blades (aka 1000 Autumn Showers or Assault Blade)


	15. 15 Return of the old friend

Story image by tariah23 . deviantart . com

I have her permission to use it.

No betareading.

© "Naruto" is created and copyrighted by Kishimoto Masashi, and owned by Shueisha Publishing Co., Ltd. and Studio Pierrot.

Enjoy.

o0o0o0o

**Alive And Victorious**

**Chapter 15. Return of the old friend**

The sky behind the office's window darkened and the spirals of sand rose from the ground, merging with the enormous clouds of the sand dust. The gusty wind was rattling against the solid windows, and Kashiko interrupted her work to take the closer look at what was going on outside.

Matsuri took out her obento and watched the older woman, who shook her head at the nature's rage. Kotori wasn't with them; she had been dismissed from the work three weeks earlier, right after the chuunin exam.

"I hope the sandstorm subsides fast," Kashiko complained with a slight wince. "I don't want to stay here until tomorrow."

Matsuri didn't comment on her words since she knew both of them were fully aware of the magnitude of the oncoming storm.

"It's pretty much powerful," she only said and ate her onigiri, while Kashiko sighed deeply and walked towards her desk. The office door opened and Kankurou went inside, shaking the sand dust off his hood.

"Seems we have hell of a sandstorm coming," he announced and switched the light on. "I can see you're keeping your cool, ladies. Excellent."

"What news are you bringing, young man?" Kashiko asked in a maternal tone.

"The village is secured but I don't think you'd be able to go back home right now," the puppeteer said and walked towards Kazekage's room. "Excuse me."

He went inside and the noise of the muffled conversation could be heard. In the meantime Matsuri finished her meal and approached the round window. The visibility was getting low quickly and the girl was sure it would be reduced to zero soon. All the villagers were certainly stuck in their houses or businesses, wherever the storm found them. Matsuri felt really sorry for ANBU guards who were on duty this afternoon. Actually, the possibility that any enemy would attack the village during such a huge sandstorm was rather low, but ninjas must never be caught off their guard.

"Matsuri-chan—" Kashiko uttered but the sound of the door opening interupted her. The Kazekage entered the room, Kankurou following him.

"The work's over!" the puppeteer announced, and Kashiko frowned at him. The Kazekage confirmed his brother's words with a nod.

"The power outage is only a matter of time," he explained. "Let's call it a day."

A jounin walked inside the office and greeted everyone.

"Kazekage-sama," he uttered, "the storm is still growing stronger. Please do not leave the Tower. The power outage—"

"I am aware," Gaara interupted. "Did Baki and Suname return already?"

"Yes, Kazekage-sama."

"I want an immediate report on every possible serious damage," Gaara demanded and the jounin nodded formally before he exited the office.

"Oh, my," Kashiko sighed. "I was afraid it would come to that. What are we going to do?"

The light flickered and they froze still, but after several seconds the flickering stopped.

"I can't go to the jounins' quarters now. I'll be downstairs with the guards," Kankurou said to his brother." And you? Are you going to stay here?"

"I'll be in my room in case you need me," Gaara answered. "Tell Komaza that I have left."

"Sure," the puppeteer confirmed shortly. "Kashiko-san, Matsuri, if the storm continues, guest rooms are at your disposal," he added, and the assistant smiled with relief.

"Thank you very much, Kankurou-sama. I think I'll take the reports to the archive then," she said, taking the documents from her desk. "Kazekage-sama, I will take the messages to the Aviary tomorrow."

Gaara nodded in reply and Kashiko left, humming quietly. Kankurou followed her, glancing at his brother over his shoulder, the devilish smirk curving his lips. Matsuri pretended not to notice, even if she growled inwardly at what she had thought wasn't funny at all. Since Gaara had said he was going to his room, she was the only one staying in the office. Excellent! Huffed, the girl turned to the window and watched the desert sand dancing wildly behind the plexiglass. The sky was growing darker and darker, and probably even the toughest ANBU ninjas had to seek shelter not to have their bodies minced and chafed by the swishing sand.

She could hear Gaara's light footsteps approaching her from behind, until he stopped next to her and glimpsed through the window as well.

"The storm seems not to subside at all," he commented in his usual aloof tone. "Let's go to my room."

Surprised, Matsuri turned her head sharply. The redhead frowned at her expression.

"You can stay here, of course," he announced neutrally, and she quickly shook her head.

"No, I didn't mean that—" she broke off, her thoughts racing. "Um, let's go then," she added uncertainly, trying not to show her curiosity. "I didn't finish my work, though..."

"So didn't I," he said, glancing back at the door to his room. "Fortunately, there's nothing urgent to fix."

"Yeah," Matsuri nodded absent-mindedly. "Um, Gaara..." she opened. "I think... I think you don't really need my help in the office any longer, do you?"

The redhead glimpsed at her before he answered. They left the office and headed for the residential part of the building, where Matsuri had never been before.

"That's true, I don't," the Kazekage answered at last. "Actually, I was going to relieve you earlier, but I found this task hard to complete."

Her interest aroused, she shot a questioning glance at him. Before he could explain it further, a jounin appeared in the corridor and stopped in front of them, reporting the current situation to his superior. Gaara informed the jounin he would be actually staying in his room, and the couple resumed walking. Matsuri wished the redhead would explain what he had said earlier, but he seemed to ponder over something in silence. They entered the residential part of the building and went down the hall, not exchanging a word, and Gaara came to a halt in front of the door, opening it without hesitation. The girl was quite surprised since the hall they've been walking down, let alone the door itself, looked pretty much ordinary and she would have never thought they would lead to Kazekage's quarters. Probably, it served the purpose of misdirection, plus Gaara, as if she knew him, certainly didn't set great store by his living conditions.

The redhead switched the light on and Matsuri tripped inside, glimpsing around curiously, but at the same time pretending she didn't feel uncertain or nervous at all. The room would have looked quite ordinary, cosy even, as if not for noticeable lack of anything personal. There was a desk and a few chairs standing by the wall, but no books, no photos, no letters or papers, and no plants sat on it. There was only an empty mug standing on the window sill, and in the corner of the room the familiar shape of the gourd.

The wind rattled against the window and Matsuri came closer swiftly, only to notice the sky was even darker than before. Visibility was already close to zero, so the girl turned her back to the outer world.

"Well, I will stop coming to the office from now on," she opened, referring to their previous conversation. "Actually, I'm still surprised I managed to do the job properly, but maybe there is more to me than meets the eye..." She laughed shortly, and Gaara only glanced at her wordlessly, his look quite meaningful. "Okay, okay, it seems you've seen something in me, what I haven't," she defended herself in a light tone. "But the truth is, I'm not cut to work in the office, even if it was wonderful to see you every day—" she broke off, suddenly realizing the admission that tumbled off her lips all too easily. "Er, anyway, I'm—"she broke off again, uttering a short, high-pitched squeal, when the light flickered and the darkness fell.

"The power's off," Gaara announced calmly. "We need to turn on the power generator."

"Doesn't it turn on automatically?" Matsuri wondered aloud.

"Only in the public part of the Tower," the redhead replied, and Matsuri could hear his quiet footsteps. The door gave an almost inaudible creak when he opened it, and the girl left the room quickly. The corridor was even darker, but Gaara led her without hesitation. They entered a room and went down several stairs, then another door creaked, and they went into another room. From the sounds of their footsteps echoing from the walls, Matsuri could tell the room must have been rather small. Gaara stepped forward but before he could turn the generator on, the loud voices could be heard from the centre of the building. The couple couldn't distinguish the words, but there was something really alarming in them, and Matsuri felt her throat constricting. She quickly caught Gaara's hand and he squeezed her fingers briefly, still listening to the noises.

"Gaara? Gaara, where did you go? Damn it!" Kankurou's angry voice reverberated in the corridor. "This is emergency!"

o0o0o0o

Matsuri and Sari were waiting in front of the Academy building with several other chuunins, who were going to undergo a basic medical ninjutsu training. The girls sat down on the stairs and shared their whispered comments and beliefs on the last shocking events. Most of the missions were cancelled, number of patrols extended, security tightened, and on the top of everything, the Kazekage was going to leave the village and head for the distant Tetsu no Kuni, where something even the oldest ninjas hadn't heard of was going to happen; namely, the Five Kage Summit.

Matsuri was surprised and worried by the news, and many more experienced ninjas saw a presage of war in all of this. The reason for the summit was unknown for most of the villagers and low-ranked ninjas, but she knew more than the majority because of her close relationship with Gaara. Naturally, she was bound to keep it secret, and that was why she pretended not to know anything.

"I can't believe he didn't tell you anything," Sari insisted in a whisper. "Something must have escaped!"

"From Gaara?" Matsuri shook her head. "Never. He knows how to keep secrets."

Sari narrowed her eyes.

"Aren't you curious?" she asked in accusatory tone.

"Of course I am," Matsuri replied quietly, rolling her eyes. "But he said he couldn't tell me anything, period." Before Sari could press even more, Matsuri added quickly: "If I learn anything, I will come to you immediately. I promise."

Sari snorted impatiently and straightened, spotting the jounin who was teaching them medical ninjutsu basics. Both girls stood up and joined the group, but Sari suddenly stopped right in front of the entrance. The chuunin walking behind her ran into her, and growled with irritation.

"What's wrong with you?" he chided, and shoved her aside. Sari didn't answer, all her attention drawn to a distant group of a few ninjas, walking down the street.

"Matsuri," he nudged her friend in the elbow. "Yakku's back!"

Matsuri stood on her toes, craning her neck to see her friend... well, former friend. It seemed it was really him, even though he slightly changed during last two months they hadn't seen him. His hair was definitely shorter, and it seemed his gaze became even more unfriendly and hard.

"They were probably called back from the border," Sari uttered in a quiet voice. "I wonder... does it really mean there will be a war?"

Matsuri didn't answer. With her cheerful personality, it was hard for her to picture herself fighting in the actual war, let alone see her friends dying.

"We have to go," she only said, drawing Sari inside the building. "You'll see him later."

"What about you?" Sari asked, taken aback. "You not going to see him at all?"

"I doubt he would like to see me," Matsuri said with a half-shrug.

They had to cease talking and concentrate on the lecture. The medical ninjutsu was rather hard to master, and after a few hours they were really tired. When they finally left the building, heading home, Matsuri decided to start the conversation which was put off definitely for too long.

"Sari, can you, um, go with me to my place?" she opened hesitantly, and her friend sent her a puzzled look.

"Sure," she replied shortly, still looking around; apparently, she hoped she would spot Yakku somewhere.

The girls reached the house where Matsuri lived, and went to her apartment. Even before they began to climb upstairs, Matsuri took a deep breath.

"Sari, I think we need... to talk," she stressed. "About... about Gaara."

"Do we?" Sari inquired, her eyebrow raised. "Is there a problem? Or did you just remember he had said something about the summit?"

"It's not about the summit at all," Matsuri sighed. "It's about you... How you... you know... how you used to be."

"Meaning you want to know if I still fancy him," Sari said bluntly, and Matsuri flinched a bit.

"Yeah, I think that's the point... but there is something more to it."

They reached the last floor, and Sari stayed silent until Matsuri opened the door. They walked into her apartment and she closed the door carefully. She didn't even do as much as unfasten her pouch. She only settled down on her bed and patted the spot next to her. Sari sat down by her friend, and watched her mutely.

"First of all, I wanted to say I'm sorry. I insisted I had no eyes for Gaara, and now you probably think I'm a liar." When Sari didn't comment on that, Matsuri continued nervously. "I want you to know I was not lying then. I didn't like him the way you did, really. But then... it changed." She swallowed.

"After you returned from the border?" Sari asked quietly, her voice calm.

"No... Yes. No!" Matsuri shook her head. "I definitely missed him, and I was disappointed he had just ignored me. I even started thinking he got advantage of me... of my endeavours to change people's minds. But then we fought on the training ground—"

"You fought?" Sari interrupted. "You've never told me about that!"

Matsuri blushed.

"That's because it was the first time when I saw—" She averted her eyes. "When I... Well, I suddenly realized what you had meant when you said that he was handsome. I just... couldn't take my eyes off him—" She broke off, her heart pounding at the memory. "I didn't know what happened. I was... confused... and scared. I was trying to get rid of those feelings, to no avail. I didn't want to stand in your way, but I kept... dreaming about him. Secretly. And then... Akatsuki attacked... and I finally realized—"

"That you love him," Sari finished, and Matsuri ducked her head, not knowing how to reply. For a time being they sat there in silence, until Sari uttered a small sigh and resumed speaking. "I've been aware of majority of those things you have told me. I could see your interest in him steadily growing. It was obvious that you didn't know what to do with it. That you were trying to resist your... whatever it was. And it was obvious his interest in you was growing either."

"I'm sorry," Matsuri caught her friend's wrist. "I didn't want to hurt you—"

"And you didn't. At least not as much as you thought you did," Sari explained at Matsuri's surprised expression. "Because..." The long-haired girl slowly looked away. "There is something about me you didn't know either."

Their fingers entwined, Sari continued.

"I liked Gaara-sama, yes. But then I kind of... noticed... someone more interesting."

"No one is more interesting than Gaara!" Matsuri argued indignantly, and Sari giggled at her.

"Actually, there are some who certainly are," she commented. "But I'm not surprised you didn't notice."

"And who was that? Do I know him?" Matsuri questioned, her curiosity piqued.

Sari scratched the back of her head with embarrassment.

"You do," she nodded, her cheeks flushed. "It's... well, it's Gaara-sama's brother."

Matsuri frowned.

"You mean... Kankurou-sama?"

Sari nodded, laughing nervously. Matsuri gaped at her, shocked. So that was why Sari didn't look bothered at all when she found out her friend was dating Gaara!

Someone knocked at the door and the girls jumped five feet high, Sari looking particularly frightened at the thought someone could have heard her admission. They got up and Matsuri approached the entrance carefully. The knocking repeated, and she finally opened the door, gasping at the sight of Yakku standing there.

"Hi," he grinned at her. "Can I come in?"

Matsuri could only nod and move aside to let him in. Sari threw herself at him and hugged him, laughing a bit too loudly to make it sound convincing.

"Long time, no see!" she beamed, stepping back. "I bet you have many stories to tell!"

He only smirked, and Matsuri thought to herself she had never seen that kind of smirk on him before. It was... cynical? Cold? She couldn't pinpoint it, but she certainly didn't feel comfortable while seeing it. The old Yakku seemed to be gone.

They started chatting, and the impression faded. Yakku was rather unfriendly from the very first moment Matsuri had met him, and she thought she must have just grown unaccustomed to his attitude while he was gone. During their conversation it was more and more obvious he wanted to talk to Matsuri alone, and eventually Sari took leave of them. Matsuri assumed they would go back to the casual talk, but just after Sari's leaving he inquired bluntly:

"So you're going out with the Kazekage, aren't you?"

Matsuri didn't answer, her mouth slightly open, when she considered her options. She was rather certain he knew the answer to his question, yet he still asked it. What did he expect?

"I am," she replied warily, not willing to elaborate on the topic.

"Are you happy?"

Matsuri sighed.

"Why are you asking such questions?" she inquired wearily. "I'm trying to avoid talking about Gaara with you."

His eyes narrowed ever so slightly at their superior's name, but he controlled himself perfectly.

"You don't have to," he said conversationally.

Matsuri slanted a glance at him. He probably wanted her not to feel guilty because of her refusal, but she still thought not talking about Gaara would be better in this situation.

"I... appreciate your consideration," she said carefully. "But we have plenty of things to talk about, and Gaara is not on the top of the list. Tell me, how was it on the border? Have you made any friends? Did you miss us at all?"

She reddened at the look Yakku had sent her.

"I can't say I made any friends, but I've certainly met some interesting people," he only said. "People who told me some things I did not know."

Matsuri waited patiently for the continuation.

"I'm sorry I'm going to hurt you," he said at last, even if there was no sadness in his voice. "But you have the full right to know. He should have told you. It's obvious he didn't, so I'm going to do that, even if you're going to hate me for it."

"I have no idea what you're—"

"I'm talking about your grandfather," Yakku explained calmly, and Matsuri's eyes widened. "About his death."

"Grandpa's death?" she repeated, unable to solve the mistery behind his puzzling words. "What about it?"

"Your boyfriend murdered him."

Matsuri blinked at the words. She couldn't comprehend what this was all about. Eventually, she felt the disbelief and anger rising from within her. Such an awful allegiation! How dared he!

Yakku raised both hands at her expression, as if trying to stop her.

"It's understandable you're shocked and disbelieving. I would be the same if I was in your place," he recited quickly. "But this is all true. I've met an old jounin who told me this. He told me that everyone was surprised you had no qualms about associating with... him. They couldn't believe you simply didn't know the truth."

"Grandpa died on the mission," Matsuri protested, her fists clenched. "And you... how dare you— She trembled with fury. "You come here, babbling some nonsense, and all of that because you're simply jealous! I can't believe that!"

"It's all true," he insisted. "Ask Mukade or Reki! Ask the Kazekage himself! It might be, of course, that he don't even remember your grandfather's name or face, if he was out of control—"

Matsuri jumped to her feet. A few steps, and she was next to the door already. She jerked at the doorknob and flung the door wide open.

"Go away," she seethed, her breathing hitched.

"But I'm talking the truth—"

"Go away!" she echoed hoarsely. "You just... I've never—"

Her voice broke, and she only shook her head in silence.

"Just ask the Kazekage," Yakku pressed, slowly retreating towards the door. "You have the right to know. You can't turn away from truth!"

Matsuri slammed the door just after he went through the threshold. She kicked the door and groaned when her foot hurt. Tears of pain and anger escaped her eyes. To think someone would fall so low... to use his knowledge of Gaara's past misdeeds against her... It was just cruel.

Unreasonably cruel.

o0o0o0o

Gaara didn't know what to do. Since the date had started it became obvious Matsuri's mind was wandering somewhere else. She tried to hide it, but from her distant gaze and unusual reticence he could easily tell she was thinking of something. Or someone.

At first he tried to ignore it, hoping it would vanish soon. His experience in drawing people into conversation was rather poor, but he tried his best, to no avail. Matsuri seemed not to even notice his efforts.

He scoffed at himself inwardly, when he felt the sting of the slight anger. Recently, they weren't seeing each other often, and it was their last date before he would set off to Tetsu no Kuni. He couldn't deny the fact that he hoped for some... more active rendezvous, but now it seemed this goal was rather far from achieving. On the other hand, he couldn't help but wonder what it was what rendered Matsuri to that absent-minded state. If she wanted to share it with him, she would have done it long before. Obviously, she preferred to keep it secret, but first she needed to learn how to hide her true feelings better.

"Matsuri?" he opened, deciding to come straight to the point. Her onyx eyes, blurried and perturbed, slowly gazed in his direction. "What is it that is bothering you so much?" Gaara continued, and her eyes widened, the confusion and trepidation momentarily flickering over her features.

"M-me?" she stuttered, blinking and leaning backwards a bit.

"Do you see anyone else here?" he answered calmly, and the soft blush adorned Matsuri's cheeks in return, when she lowered her gaze and shook her head. "What is it then?"

To his astonishment, and concern, her lower lip began to tremble. She tried to conceal it by biting her lip, but it didn't work. The redhead frowned, and put his palms on Matsuri's shoulders to make her stand face to face with him. It was apparent that whatever troubled his girlfriend must have been something rather big, so he decided not to let it slip.

He tried to lift her chin with his fingertips, eliciting a half-moan, half-cry from the kunoichi, who quickly turned her head aside, although not quickly enough to let him miss the suspicious shine in her eyes.

"Matsuri," he pressed, his voice sharper. "Tell me, what is it?"

Sniffling, she stepped forward and hid her face in his chest. Surprised, he stood still for a moment, before his arms wrapped around her in a tardy motion.

Sobbing into his shoulder and wetting his coat with her tears, Matsuri shook her head, and Gaara thought he knew what this particular gesture was meant to express, but he refused to comply.

"I'm leaving tomorrow," he said quietly. "I need to be absolutely sure that the village - the entire village - is safe and sound." With those words, he withdrew from her, attempting to catch her gaze, but she resisted. "I need to know you are fine, and now you are definitely far from that."

"Oh, Gaara..." she cried. "Why people are so cruel?"

Baffled by her question, he thought it wasn't what he would exactly call a reasonable explanation.

"Who is cruel?" he demanded softly, gripping her arms. "Did someone hurt you?"

Matsuri wrenched away, her expression helpless and despondent.

"I can't talk with you about it!" she rejected, and the redhead crossed his arms over his chest.

"Who are you going to talk about it with, then?" he asked quite impatiently, masking the hurt with his trademark poker face. She did not reply; not that he expected her to. With a sigh, he stepped closer to his girlfriend, careful not to touch her again. "Matsuri, whatever it is, we will face it together," he stated firmly, hoping it would encourage her to share her concerns with him, but it was not the case, apparently. Matsuri shot a quick glance at him, but still didn't utter a word.

A few people passed by, glimpsing at the couple curiously, and Gaara decided he didn't like how the two of them must have looked like. Matsuri was crying, and he stood in front of her with his arms crossed, confused, worried and irritated. And her tears weren't even his fault, damn it!

"Matsuri," he said calmly, patiently, even if his patience was running out. "I don't know what to do."

The girl bit her lip, and her eyes finally met his for a time longer than a few seconds.

"I'm sorry, Gaara," she said, looking defeated. "But this is very, very hard for me to say."

She drew in the long, heavy breath, and he waited in silence for the continuation.

"What I said earlier about people being cruel... Actually, I meant someone I trusted, who told me an awful lie... a figment of his imagination," Matsuri explained, her lower lip briefly trembling. "He told me... well, that person told me that it was you who killed my grandfather."

Gaara nodded wordlessly, a small ache in his heart immediately suppressed with the power of his will. He couldn't say he wasn't expecting that at all. There were still many people in the village who held a grudge against him, who would like to see him hurt, devastated, and maybe even dead. Which way was better to attack him than hurting his most precious people?

"But you told me your grandfather died on the mission," he said, careful to keep his voice matter-of-fact. Matsuri nodded, and the redhead swore to himself he would get from her the name of the person who tried to mess their relationship. He needed to know if it was a personal revenge or a political matter. This or either way, he simply must have known his enemies, to deal with them in his own time.

"That's what I've been always told, but that person insisted that grandfather Aoba died from your hands," the kunoichi replied, rubbing her forearms as if she was cold. "An old jounin from our village told him so."

Aoba. The name didn't mean anything to him. It didn't bring any memories, any backflashes. However, if there was really a Sunagakure jounin involved, nameless one but still a jounin, the story began to look all-too-familiar.

"Gaara?" Matsuri asked, poking him slightly in the shoulder. "What is it?"

He shook his head ever so slightly, shaking himself out of his momentary reverie.

"Can you go with me to the Tower?" he inquired, taking a first step before she could even answer. "I need to... check on something."

Confounded, the brunette followed him in silence. She seemed to be scared a bit, and looked like she wanted to give him some questions, but not a word escaped her lips. After they entered the main hall, Gaara stopped.

"Please, wait here. I'll be back in a minute," he said, and the girl blinked. "I can't take you where I am going to go," he added before she could express her doubts, and quickly went away, with a strange sensation of coldness creeping up his chest.

He went downstairs to the basement of the Tower, than walked down the long corridor. Guards were greeting him officially, shooting surprised glimpses in his direction. Swallowing nevously, he entered the secret room.

It didn't take him long to find what he was searching for. His hand twitched instinctively, crumpling the paper, when he stared at a few lines, with the burden of his past speeding back at him with its full force.

Oh, the irony of it all.

**The end of chapter 15.**

**The next chapter: Mission 1023098**

o0o0o0o

Kashiko - obviously, one of my ocs

Suname, Komaza - Suna ninjas appearing in manga

Tetsu no Kuni=Land Of Iron


	16. 16 Mission 1023098

Dear readers, I'm happy you enjoy my story :) I get it that you're impatient to see updates as fast as possible, but please note that I'm not a native English speaker, and it takes a hell of an effort from me to write every chapter. Sorry for the mistakes, by the way ^^'

Story image by tariah23 . deviantart . com

I have her permission to use it.

No betareading.

© "Naruto" is created and copyrighted by Kishimoto Masashi, and owned by Shueisha Publishing Co., Ltd. and Studio Pierrot.

Enjoy.

o0o0o0o

**Alive And Victorious**

**Chapter 16. Mission 1023098**

With Temari and Kankurou at his side, Gaara started his journey to Tetsu no Kuni. All villagers and ninjas, gathered along the main Sunagakure's road, were biding him farewell, and one could think all of them were honestly happy to have him as their leader. However, there was at least one person hidden in this crowd, who was an enemy. The particularly dangerous enemy, since he attacked unexpectedly, and accurately, like a poisonous snake.

The Kazekage's eyes wandered from face to face, from a man to a woman, from a child to an old man. Then he spotted Matsuri, standing in the front line, and his heart skipped a beat. She wasn't smiling like others, when she uttered a few quiet, albeit distinct words for goodbye.

"Have a safe journey, Kazekage-sama."

He hoped he was the only one who could hear sadness and helplessness in her voice. His gaze met hers, and it hurt him to think about all the misery he had brought to her life.

Maybe it was actually better for her to stay away from him, after all.

The man standing by Matsuri's side shifted a bit, and the redhead calmly raised his gaze to meet an unfriendly stare. He knew he had seen the guy before. He could even link a name to that face, even if he hadn't seen it for quite a long time.

_..."Gaara-sensei, this is my friend Yakku," Matsuri had said. "Yakku, this is Gaara-sensei, whom I told you so much about..."_

_..."_He's one of my best friends_," Kankurou had repeated Matsuri's words in the mocking tone. "The girl is surely blind. This Yakku guy is head over heels with her, but he's not going to tell her. He's afraid of you..."_

_..."Someone I trusted, told me an awful lie... a figment of his imagination," Matsuri had explained, with her lower lip briefly trembling. "He told me... well, that person told me that is was you who killed my grandfather..."_

All the pieces of the jigsaw fell together, when Gaara saw the almost imperceptible, triumphant smirk crossing the chuunin's lips. Gaara always was a quick learner, but obviously not quick enough, to learn this particular, painful lesson. _Never underestimate the one who chases after your girlfriend_.

Striding towards the village's gate, Gaara realized that all of it wasn't exactly about Aoba's death. It was about jealousy, possessiveness and scheming, and if the guy told Matsuri the truth because he would have simply believed she had the right to know, it would be... well, not forgivable, but at least understandable. But that was just a vicious, selfish act, and the guy dared to hurt Matsuri with it.

And that was something Gaara couldn't let slip.

Glancing over his shoulder, the Kazekage scanned the village for the last time before he would march off to the distant lands. Despite of the circumstances, he was strangely calm. Cold even. Long ago, he resigned himself to the fact that his past would be haunting him from time to time, but he would have never thought it would harass him in that particular manner.

Deep in his heart, he didn't actually believe that he had the right to be happy. Not after destroying so many lives in his futile attempt to feel anything but loneliness and pain. Maybe, when his belief turned out to be true, it didn't even surprise him, after all.

He would hide where he was always hiding, under the mask of indifference and aloofness. Surely, Matsuri wouldn't want to associate with him any longer, and he couldn't blame her. Maybe she would even end up with this Yakku guy... that is, if he could survive Kazekage's revenge first.

o0o0o0o

Matsuri raised her head, and watched the white gravestone in front of her with the weary expression. She was sitting there for an hour already, but it didn't soothe the turmoil in her soul as it did earlier.

For the tenth, or maybe hundredth time, she remembered her grandfather's face from the night she had seen him for the last time. The night when she had seen him terrified like never before. He must have known. It was obvious. He must have known that the death awaited him behind the door... but how? How could he have known? He was heading for a mission, like many times before, and like many times before he was supposed to escape the monster's deadly grip.

She flinched when the word 'monster' came so easily to her mind, and she realized she had never thought of Gaara as a monster... until this time. Tears filled her eyes, and disappeared quickly, since she had no strength to cry anymore.

_"He was killing on whim, whoever he wanted dead, and when he was furious, he was changing into Shukaku and only Yondaime could stop him," Yakku had blurted out._

_"My friend's little brother didn't want to play with him. He still has huge scars over his legs where the sand wounded him," Darui had added._

_"My granny's neighbour looked askance at him_—_"_

_"My uncle's friend didn't go back from the mission. He was found dead deep in the desert with all his bones crushed-"_

_"My grandfather told me-"_

_"There was a shinobi with a scar on his face, do you remember?"_

_"...the sand broke his legs_—_"_

_"...he was only eight years old_—_"_

_"...her dad didn't come back home_—_"_

She had already forgotten that conversation from over two years ago, but now it returned to her mind, so vivid as if it was yesterday. She didn't want to listen then, she defended her sensei, completely oblivious to the fact she could add her own part to the story.

Did Gaara know?

Did he know from the very beginning, and he didn't tell her?

Her entire being protested against that suspicion. She had already doubted him once, and it turned out she was wrong. She knew him. She knew who he was... didn't she?

But still, could anyone honestly say that they really knew what was going on in Sabaku no Gaara's head?

If he didn't know, how come he had gone there, to the Tower? He didn't tell her where he went and what he was searching for, but apparently he had an idea where to look. Eventually, it turned out that whatever he found, was the evidence that the story Yakku had told was entirely true.

Matsuri bent her legs and rested her forehead against them, wrapping her arms around her knees. It wasn't quite appropriate, to sit in front of the gravestone, but she was too tired to give a damn about it.

Her dear grandafther... What would he say if he knew that she was going out with the man who had killed him? That she loved a murderer?

And Gaara... Did he love her at all?

She believed he did, but the fact remained that he had never said those words. Not even once. Not even in the slightest whisper.

She always thought it was because of his reticence, because of... him being just himself. But now, she couldn't stop wondering.

Was he able to love at all?

Matsuri only wanted to sleep, to stop all those dark musings from haunting her. To think that only a few days ago she deemed herself to be the happiest girl in the entire village.

Oh, the irony of it all.

o0o0o0o

Sipping the water from her canteen, Matsuri indifferently stared into space. After drinking all the water, she lifted herself to a standing position, and unreeled her jouhyou. Her companion stood up as well, and grabbed a few kunais from his pouch.

They've been training for a few hours, and Matsuri could feel the physical exhaustion stifling the pain in her chest. On those days, it was everything she yearned for; to train hard until she was too tired to be able to think.

Yakku was always by her side, like a shadow. He was training with her, eating with her, walking her home after the medical ninjutsu training. Darui and Sari were surprised, to say the least, but she had never told them the truth. She didn't care what they must have thought. The only thing she cared about was getting rid of the pain.

Yakku was eager to ease her pain. Of course he was. _I will make you forget about him_, he had said once, and Matsuri couldn't even bring herself to get angry. Then he tried to kiss her, and she let him. She didn't even begin to feel what she was feeling when Gaara was kissing her, so she broke the kiss, and told Yakku out of her sight. He had complied, but on the next day he was there, again.

Ten days had passed since Gaara left the village, and he was supposed to arrive at any time. Matsuri didn't know if she wanted to see him again or not. She didn't know anything.

She flung her jouhyou at Yakku, and missed. With a wince, she rubbed the sore muscles in her arm. At the sight, Yakku shoved the blades down his pouch, and approached her. Suddenly, they had heard a ruckus down the village. It sounded like many people were running here and there, and both chuunins could distinguish the sharp voices giving orders. Matsuri's heart leapt in her chest, and Yakku stiffened, the muscles in his jawline visibly working.

"Let's see what is going on there," he said nonchalantly, and the girl nodded. They paced quickly towards the main road, when a jounin named Mukade crossed their way.

"Report to the Kazekage Tower immediately," he commanded. "We're at war."

Both of young chuunins froze, even if it wasn't completely unexpected. People were talking about it for weeks. But still, when it turned out to be true, finally, they couldn't deny they were frightened a bit.

"Did the Kazekage return?" Yakku asked slowly, and the jounin shook his head.

"He sent a messenger hawk," Mukade replied, and nodded at them, before he went away, leaving them to their own assumptions and fears.

o0o0o0o

Kankurou didn't like prying into other people's business, but that rule, like all others, had some obvious exceptions, and Gaara definitely was such an exception.

Since the siblings came back from Tetsu no Kuni, the puppeteer had the vague feeling something was wrong. During the trip Gaara looked absolutely normal, but Kankurou had learned long ago, that when it came to his younger brother, it was better to trust his gut feelings. Just like with Matsuri. Kankurou didn't know how, but he just knew that Gaara was slowly developing an affection for his student, albeit unconsciously.

And now, Kankurou had this feeling again. The feeling that something was wrong, something was different than usual. Naturally, he began to watch his brother, and he quickly realized that Gaara wasn't seeing Matsuri at all. Moreover, she was always being accompanied by a chuunin, who had been in love with her for a long time.

Did Matsuri and Gaara argue? Did they break up? It seemed so, but it was also too hard to believe. They looked so happy together, and Kankurou didn't know any reason why they would have broken up. But still, Gaara was so damn hard to deal with, sometimes. The puppeteer knew it firsthand. Had Matsuri had enough of his brother?

It might be the case... but there was also Gaara's rival, Yakku, and Kankurou suspected he might have something to do with the sudden separation. So the puppeteer watched. Quietly, patiently. Temari asked him once, if he had noticed that Gaara and Matsuri weren't seeing each other, but he had dismissed her with some stupid excuse. Fortunately, she was too busy to realize.

Eventually, his vigilance paid off, and after a certain meeting in the Puppet Corps quarters he had learnt everything he needed to know.

Now he had to decide what to do next.

o0o0o0o

The training was over, and Matsuri sighed with relief. Mastering the medical ninjutsu was quite tiresome, and she was only learning the basics! She didn't even want to think, how much determination and natural gift was required to master it on the higher level.

Actually, she became considerably more determined, after she had learnt about the war. To think that Gaara could be wounded, and she could be the one to help him survive... It was a great responsibility, but also a great chance, and Matsuri decided she was not going to lose it, even they weren't going to reunite. Since his return, Gaara didn't ask her to see him even once. All the hidden villages were at war with Akatsuki, and they were busy with manufacturing and stockpiling ninja tools, and general preparations to defend their countries against the attack. Nothing strange Gaara didn't have a time to even think of her. But still... she wanted to hear a word from him. Just a word... even if she wasn't exactly sure, which word it should have been.

Leaving the building, she saw Yakku leaning against the wall, apparently waiting for her, as usual. She greeted him with a weak smile, and they strolled down the street, heading for the canteen. She wondered what Gaara would have thought if he had seen them together. Would he think she was cheating on him? Well, that wasn't exactly cheating, since they kind of broke up, but still...

Suddenly, a dark figure appeared in front of them, as if it was her sense of guilt personified. Matsuri blenched uncontrollably, and Yakku caught her hand, glaring provocatively at the person who blocked their way. Kankurou - since it was him - wore his usual, nonchalant expression, and his hands were shoved down his pockets.

"Can I have a word with your girlfriend? In private, if I might," he asked conversationally, and Matsuri opened her mouth to protest at the mentioning of her being Yakku's girlfriend.

"What for?" Yakku snapped, tightening his grasp on Matsuri's hand. The girl decided to throw aside all the pretences, and she shook his hand off with an irritated growl.

"Sorry, I can't tell you. It's personal," Kankurou replied in the same manner, even though the slightest edge of threat was recognizable in his voice.

"That's okay with me, Kankurou-sama," Matsuri said resolutely, and took a step forward. "See you later," she said to Yakku, who scowled at her and left without a word. The puppeteer observed him, until the chuunin disappeared behind the corner.

The kunoichi mutely waited for an explanation. Kankurou scanned the vicinity, and leant in.

"Not here. Your place," he murmured.

Surprised and scared a bit, Matsuri nodded and led him to her apartment. Before they went into the building, he turned around and assessed the neighbourhood with his eyes narrowed. After a good while, he slipped through the open door and followed Matsuri upstairs. She waited for him in front of her door, and when he came closer, she pushed the door and invited him inside with a gesture of her hand. Kankurou stepped inside without hesitation, and Matsuri shut the door quietly, taking a deep breath before looking at Gaara's brother.

"What is it that you need to talk about with me, Kankurou-sama?" she inquired softly, hoping he did not come here to chastise her. She didn't think he had the right to do so, because the whole affair was not his business, but she was afraid he could suddenly grow overprotective, when it came to his brother.

"Have you ever heard about the mission 1023098?" the puppeteer said bluntly, and Matsuri furrowed. She had never been assigned to a mission with the number starting with 10, but from what she had known, it stood for a high difficulty of the assignment and its top secrecy.

Puzzled, she shook her head, giving her guest the questioning look. Kankurou nodded slightly, and scanned her face meticulously.

"What I'm going to show you is a top secret thing," he announced, and the girl blinked, surprised. "I would be in trouble if someone had learnt I showed it you." He went silent, and took a thick folder from inside his top. "Can you keep a secret?" he asked in a quieter, harder tone, and Matsuri nodded easily. She was certain he wouldn't show it to her if he thought she wasn't trustworthy, anyway.

The puppeteer hesitated only for a moment, before he handed her the folder. The girl gasped when she read her grandfather's name written on it. Kankurou must have sneaked Aoba's files from the secret archive!

"The last page," he said impatiently, and she flipped through the papers obediently, until she reached the said page and began to read.

_Mission 2-4016777. Escorting the Kazekage to the summit conference with Kaze no Kuni no _Daimyō_. Mission report: Success._

Matsuri raised her head and slanted an uncertain glance at her guest.

"Read," he urged. "We don't have much time."

The girl's eyes returned to the page.

_Mission 21233350. Hunting down and eliminating the Iwagakure nukenin, Gantetsu. Mission report: Success._

Below there was only one, last entry. Matsuri gulped and her hands trembled, as she read the following words.

_Mission 1023098. Open to all shinobi of Sunagakure, to be assigned at any time. The assassination of the container of the demon Shukaku._

With her eyes closed, her heart hammering against her sternum, and her blood hissing in her ears, she didn't even have to read what was next. However, she forced her lids to snap open, knowing that the sight would be etched into her mind forever, no matter if she would read it or not.

The last line was written down in a red ink, the handwriting different, the brushes of the nib hurried and sloppy.

_Mission report: Failure._

**The end of the chapter 16.**

**The next chapter: Two sides of the same coin**

nukenin=rogue ninja

Mision 1023098 – the concept borrowed from an amazing fanfic „Lucky Number" by Storymaster Caith. Go and read it, you won't regret it!


	17. 17 Two sides of the same coin

Story image by tariah23 . deviantart . com

I have her permission to use it.

No betareading.

© "Naruto" is created and copyrighted by Kishimoto Masashi, and owned by Shueisha Publishing Co., Ltd. and Studio Pierrot.

Enjoy.

o0o0o0o

"A villain is just a victim whose story hasn't been told." Chris Colfer, _The Wishing Spell_

o0o0o0o

**Alive And Victorious**

**Chapter 17. Two sides of the same coin**

Matsuri paced around her room for the hundredth time. For the last few hours, she was continuously walking there and back again, from time to time throwing herself upon her bed, but she was too perturbed to lie still. Since Kankurou had left, there was no peace for her anymore, and she doubted she would be able to sleep at night at all.

_Mission report: Failure._ Those words were haunting her constantly. So it had _been_ the mission, after all. A special mission. A top secret mission.

Basically, a suicide mission.

She felt sick and her head spinned. All unanswered questions came back to her, upsetting and confusing her beyond all imagination, as she ringed her face with the cold water again, briefly pressing her fingers against her temples.

She wanted to cry and she wanted to scream. She hated everyone and she felt numb at the same time, as if the sand storm raged through her and tore everything out of her, leaving only an empty shell.

Mission 1023098. Assassination of the six-year-old child. Ordered by the Kazekage himself. The father of the said child.

How many such attempts happened before he ceased?

Matsuri stopped by the window and stared at the Kazekage Tower. Its lights were already on because the night was about to fall. Before she could realize what she was doing, the girl opened the window and hopped across the window-sill, jumping at the nearest rooftop.

The breeze tousled her hair, and she stopped momentarily, swallowing, when the apprehension overwhelmed her. What was she supposed to do? Just march into the Tower and demand to see the Kazekage?

_Yes_, she replied to herself, skipping from one rooftop to another. _Exactly._

No one else held the answers to the questions she needed to ask, after all.

Yakku might be the good source of the information, either, but she didn't trust him anymore. She was disgusted at the thought of his possible reasons for telling her the truth. He simply wanted to separate her from Gaara by any means, and he succeeded. It was all that mattered to him. He didn't give a damn about the truth at all.

She knew she might be unfair a bit, but she didn't care. She didn't even care that she was going to betray Kankurou. He asked her to keep the secret, but she was going to spill it.

Well, maybe those were his intentions, after all. He must have known what she would do.

Matsuri jumped down onto the road and headed for the Tower's entrance. The guard blocked her way, asking for her purpose, and she was just too distracted to mind her tongue before the answer slipped from her lips.

"I need to see Gaara."

The guard eyed her carefully, and she cringed inwardly, blushing, but her resolution was absolute. The formalities were the last thing on her mind at the moment, and she nodded at the guard, who let her inside. She made it only to the stairs, when the ANBU ninja appeared by her side, as if planning to stop her. Matsuri opened her mouth to explain herself again, but before she uttered a word, another ANBU came by and waved his hand, muttering something about "Kazekage's girlfriend." The kunoichi decided she was consequently allowed to pass, so she ran upstairs, where she almost bumped into Kankurou.

"I need to see Gaara," she repeated before he could ask anything, and he scrutinized her carefully. Matsuri thought he would dismiss her, but then he nodded and tilted his head, as if showing her, which way she ought to take.

"He's in his room," the puppeteer announced. "Suppose you don't need a guide there?"

Shaking her head, she stepped forward, leaving him behind, too busy with her own thoughts to realize she had been quite rude, not greeting him properly, and then leaving without a word. After entering the residential part of the building, she slowed down her pace, and pressed her hands against her hammering heart.

Did she really have enough courage to plunge into the dark secrets of Gaara's past? Moreover, would he be willing to share them with her, after they practically broke up?

There was only one way to find out.

She stopped in front of his door, and knocked.

"Who is it?" he asked after a good while, his voice tired. Matsuri licked her lips, suddenly realizing how much she missed his voice. How much she missed him.

"It's me," she squeaked, and cleared her throat. "Gaara, it's me," she repeated in a firmer tone, leaning closer.

Unnerved, she waited for him to open the door. When he finally did, frowning in surprise, she gulped audibly.

"Matsuri?" he inquired, his hand locked around the doorknob. "Did something happen?"

_Talk about the lamest question ever._

"Actually, yes," she replied, her voice slightly trembling. "Can I... Can I come in?"

The redhead stood there motionless, giving her that unblinking stare. She couldn't guess at all what he was thinking. After a while, it turned out he wasn't going to let her in. Well, she didn't go down all that way for nothing, so she blurted out the first question, her voice very quiet.

"Why didn't you tell me about the mission 1023098?"

Astonishment and wariness flickered over his features, but it took him only a few seconds to recover. Matsuri stumbled and gasped when he grabbed her forearm and pulled her inside. After closing the door, he turned to her and crossed his bare arms upon his chest, his gaze hard.

"Who told you about it? It's top secret," he inquired, his voice also quiet yet sharp like a kunai.

"You should have told me," she replied, resisting the urge to twiddle her fingers. "Why didn't you?"

Gaara slowly turned his head aside, breaking the eye contact.

"It's top secret. Besides... it wouldn't change anything."

Matsuri opened her mouth, but he didn't let her speak.

"Whoever told you about that mission, gave away the top secret information," he said, his tone harsh. "I, as the Kazekage, must know who did such thing. Was it that chuunin, Yakku?"

The girl faltered briefly at the mentioning of Yakku's name. It seemed, though, that Gaara wasn't going to ask her about their relationship. He only cared about the leak.

"No," she answered shortly. "It was Kankurou."

Gaara's almond-shaped eyes widened until she could see her reflection in the pale depths.

"Kan—" he began to speak, and broke off, obviously lost for words. It was the first time Matsuri had seen him that way.

She nodded seriously, and started reciting.

"Mission 1023098. Open to all shinobi of Sunagakure—" Her voice broke. She took a shallow breath, and continued. "—to be assigned... at any time."

Gaara watched her in silence, his face impassive. The tear slipped down her cheek, as she continued.

"The assassination of the... of the container..."

Still no reaction from him. Unable to stop another tear from falling, she sniffled and wiped her face with the back of her palm.

"...of the demon Shukaku—" Biting her lip, she fought to suppress the sobs racking her body.

The redhead averted his gaze and shifted back, so she could only see his profile, as he stared at the wall.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she demanded, her voice still hoarse a bit from all those stifled cries.

Gaara shrugged, the movement of his shoulders under the net shirt almost imperceptible.

"It wouldn't change anything," he repeated shortly, harshly.

Matsuri shook her head, taking a step in his direction.

"It would change many things," she protested softly. "It would change the way I feel."

"How so?" he asked, still refusing to look at her, his tone sarcastic.

The girl hesitated, knowing she was about to cross the point of no return.

"You didn't just kill him," she uttered quietly, her own voice sounding weird in her ears. "You did it in self-defense."

Gaara turned to her, straightening. His arms by his sides, his shoulders tensed as he seemed to brace himself for something.

"It doesn't mean I enjoyed it less," he spat bitterly, darkly. Matsuri blinked at the admission, her heart thumping as the chills crept up and down her spine. So this was it. Pandora's box was opened, and she could only hope she would survive it.

"What do you mean, you enjoyed it?" she asked uncertainly, hardly able to speak as her tongue refused to work properly.

Gaara snorted shortly under his breath and clenched his palms into fists, his eyes sparkling with malevolence and anger.

"I enjoyed the sight of his blood splattered all over, as his body lay at my feet, mutilated beyond recognition," he seethed through his teeth. "Is this what you wanted to hear?"

Matsuri swallowed a few times, her stomach making somersaults. The sour taste invaded her mouth, as she fought the sickness. Well, she wanted the truth, and she got it, as raw and blunt as they come. Forcing herself not to step back, she tried to keep her calm, inwardly repeating that she should have expected it. Gaara wasn't going to go easy on her, and she couldn't let him provoke her.

"You don't have to give me the details," she managed to say at last, and almost flinched at the despising look he had sent her.

"Don't ask if you don't want to know," he drawled icily, his eyes narrowed, and the girl bit her trembling lower lip. Speechless, she watched him in silence, cringing at the malicious expression she had seen on him only once before, after the fight with ANBU assassins. Naturally, she wasn't afraid he would hurt her, physically at least. Most likely, his only purpose was to scare her away, to avoid this conversation for some reasons.

But still, he didn't order her out of his sight.

Taking a step forward, she raised her hand as if trying to touch him, but she didn't dare to finish the movement. Instead, her hand wandered to the hitai-ate wrapped around her neck, fidgeting at it nervously.

"Gaara, I don't know what to do," she uttered, her voice just above the whisper. "You said that whatever it was, we would face it together, remember?"

Obviously defeated by his own words coming back at him in a way he hadn't probably expected, the redhead swallowed. The heavy sigh tore out from his throat, and his shoulders visibly sagged. Closing his eyes briefly, he stepped back as if increasing the distance between them could be of any help.

"I don't want to talk about it, Matsuri. Especially with you," he said wearily, his anger gradually fading away.

The girl nodded, even if she was sure she couldn't even begin to imagine how hard it must have been to him, to have this particular conversation.

"That is something I could understand," she acknowledged, her lips curving in a faint, encouraging smile. "But now I have learnt about what you've been trying to keep secret from me. Please, don't punish Kankurou too severely for giving it away. I'm glad he had done it, even if what I had learnt utterly confused me."

Gaara dismissed her concern with a shrug.

"Don't worry about him. He is perfectly aware that I understand his reasons," he said, his tone matter-of-fact.

The kunoichi breathed with relief, suddenly feeling drained. The entire conversation was unbelievably hard, and they didn't even make it to the point.

"Can I have some water?" she asked uncertainly, as she spotted the mug on his desk. He followed her gaze, and hesitated.

"I've been drinking it—" he uttered, and Matsuri forced herself not to roll her eyes. They've been kissing a few times before yet he thought she had issues to drink from his mug?

"I don't mind," she said carefreely, and tripped to the desk, resolutely taking the mug and swallowing the water in one gulp. "That's better," she murmured to herself, before the tension overwhelmed her again. Looking into Gaara's eyes, she remembered his previous words about enjoying slaying people, and the tremors returned as the words changed themselves into the repulsive image in her mind.

In some inexplicable way, the faithful and considerate person standing in front of her, and the heartless, bloodthirsty murderer she had only heard of, were one. Two sides of the same coin. It was the biggest mystery she had ever encountered, the mystery troubling her from the very moment she had met him.

And it was still unresolved.

Matsuri licked her lips, as she stared at her precious redhead. He crossed his arms over his chest again, and his calm expression could have deceived someone who wouldn't know him as well as she did. Inhaling deeply, the girl decided she must be the one to bring it on. Supposedly, it would be easier for him to answer her questions than to tell the whole story by himself.

"I know the time to talk about it might not be right - if it was ever going to be right - but we can't put it off any longer," she opened softly, watching him intently to gauge his reaction. "_I_ can't put it off any longer. Since we have met, I've heard various things about you from many people. I was confused, but I was in no position to raise the topic with you. But still, the confusion remained..."

She broke off for a while, taking her time to gather her thoughts. Gaara didn't comment on her words nor gave her any other response. He simply waited for the continuation, so she spoke again.

"It made no sense to me, at all. They said you were—" She averted her eyes momentarily. "A bad person," she finished with a slight trembling in her voice. "From what they said, it seemed I should be dead the first moment you started teaching me. I should be buried in the sand." The girl laughed mirthlessly at the memory. "I was clumsy, slow... just annoying. And there you were. Patient, understanding, but also sad and distant." She clasped her hands together, gazing into his eyes earnestly. "However, I told you I didn't want to pry into your past. Only... I didn't know I was a part of your past, in some sense. And you were a part of mine."

With a feeling that she was drowning, she took a few shaky breaths, wondering if Gaara would shy away if she tried to touch him. Slowly, she reached for him, watching his body tense at the prospect of her hands upon him. Biting her lip helplessly, she moved back, as tears stung her eyes.

"Gaara, I'm sorry..." she whispered, and he hang his head in shame.

"Don't be, Matsuri," he said in a dead voice. "I am the one who should beg your forgiveness."

The girl pressed her hand against her mouth, muffling the sob. Pulling it away, she quickly wiped a few tears that managed to escape.

"Will you do it, then?" she asked quietly, and from his frown she could see that he didn't understand. "Will you ask my forgiveness, then?" she clarified, her voice the tiniest whisper.

Even if his expression didn't change at all, even if he didn't blink nor spoke, the tears welled in his eyes and streaked down, and Matsuri gasped at the heart-wrenching sight.

"Gaara...!" she exclaimed, as she crossed the distance of a few steps between them in a flash and held him with all her might. She could feel that his muscles stiffened at the contact, but she couldn't care less, as she grabbed his wrists and wrapped his arms around her waist. Hiding her face in his chest, she wept with relief, while he put his forehead against her shoulder, silently wetting her shirt with his tears.

She didn't know how long they stood there. Gradually, her body stopped quaking, and the wet spot on her shirt grew cold, as Gaara's tears soaked in it no longer. Yet still, the couple clung to each other tightly, unwilling to pull back even for a second, before any remnant of the recent turmoil was gone.

Eventually, they grew completely calm at last.

Matsuri was the first to move back a bit, as she glanced at the redhead, deeply touched by the amount of trust he had shown her. The damp marks were still visible on his cheeks, and she couldn't resist touching them. Gaara blinked, as her fingers traced down his face, and the kunoichi stared at him in bewilderment.

Not so long ago he had admitted that he enjoyed killing people, and then he cried into her shoulder, mutely asking for her forgiveness for what he had done.

Two sides of the same coin.

"Gaara, what happened?" she could only ask, withdrawing her hand reluctantly. "What happened... to you?"

Refusal written all over his face, he hesitated before he would finally utter it. Matsuri released his hands swiftly and went towards the wall, reaching for the light switch next to the door. He had no time to react, when she clicked it, plunging them into darkness. Stretching her arms to feel her way through his room, she stepped forward, until she found him, still standing motionless in the middle of the room.

Holding his hand, she briefly pressed it against her cheek, the small sigh tumbling off her mouth at the contact. Entwining her fingers with his, she straightened, quickly reconfirming her resolution.

"You said that you... enjoyed killing people," she finally uttered, unable to erase trepidation from her voice. "How come? Was it... the demon?"

She could feel the grasp of Gaara's palm tightening upon hers, and she squeezed it reassuringly, even though she was shivering all over. The reply came after a long time, when she began to think he wouldn't speak at all.

"Initially, yes," he uttered in a low murmur, and Matsuri nodded, even if he couldn't see it, most likely.

"What happened, then?" she inquired, haunted with a feeling that they were standing on the thinnest glass, which could shatter at any time.

Another long pause, as if he was gathering his thoughts. Or calling for his strength.

Most likely, both.

"I was... alone."

Alone. Detested. Isolated. She could understand it all. People were afraid. No wonder they rejected him. She would do the same.

Actually, she did the same after she had learnt about Aoba's death.

"Things were happening to me... beyond my control," Gaara continued in a dull voice, and the girl nodded again. She had no other way to acknowledge his words, once she decided she would better stay silent.

The redhead ceased speaking again, and Matsuri thought to herself she couldn't stay silent, despite of her previous decision. Apparently, she had to draw everything from him, bit by bit.

"Was it the demon?" she prompted.

"Yes."

"Was it... taking over?"

"Yes." A short pause. "I couldn't stop it, no matter how hard I tried."

"How-" Matsuri hesitated momentarily. "How old were you?"

"Five."

_Talk about unimaginable burden._

Silence reigned once more, and the only sound audible was their heavy breathing. It seemed to Matsuri that the outer world has vanished somehow, and the two of them floated somewhere in the space, absolutely alone. She briefly wondered what would happen if someone disturbed them, but there was still hope that Kankurou would shoo any intruders away, since he had seen her earlier, going to his brother's room.

Intentionally or not, Gaara squeezed her hand lightly, and she deemed his movement an invitation to continue. The girl cleared her throat, as she spoke again.

"What happened then?"

Of course, he didn't answer immediately.

"The... rampages went on and on," he finally uttered. "I lost the will to fight off Shukaku, as everyone was growing apart from me. Even my own family—" He broke off suddenly.

Matsuri didn't want to disturb him, so she bit her lip hard, as the tears she managed to keep back till now started falling. She kept her breathing even so Gaara wouldn't notice that she was crying, and he continued, eventually.

"I failed." His voice hardened. "In Sunagakure, the ninjas who fail are useless. For this reason, I was doomed."

The girl gasped.

"Mission 1023098..." she whispered in a raspy voice.

"Yes."

"Was it then... when my grandfather...?"

"Yes. He was third."

Shocked, Matsuri froze with her mouth agape.

"Can you remember him?"

"I can remember each and every one of them," Gaara replied darkly. "And he was the only one fighting with chakra blades. He was quite a shinobi but there was no way he could succeed at the mission—" the redhead paused, as if struck by something. "Matsuri..." he said uncertainly. "Are you crying?"

"No," she said quickly. "No, I'm—"

But he was at it already, as he slid his hand up her arm and neck, until it found her wet cheek.

"You're crying," he said in a flat voice, and the kunoichi decided to drop all pretences, as Gaara wiped her damp skin with his thumb.

"Yes, Gaara, I'm crying. Anyone would, after listening to that," she replied softly, sadly. "I lied because I didn't want to disturb you. Please... please, continue, will you?"

Brushing her lips against his fingers, Matsuri straightened, as she tried to seek his gaze in the darkness. Since her eyes grew accustomed to it, she could see the black silhouette in front of her, but she didn't know if she actually spotted a glimpse of his eyes or it was only her imagination.

"Please?" she urged, as she tightened her grip on his palm and pulled it away from her face, to prevent him from feeling another onslaught of tears.

"There's not much left to say," Gaara said, and she sighed lightly. _The biggest understatement ever._

"You were angry," she probed, surprised by the level of self-control she had reached, as her voice didn't even tremble nor falter. The redhead uttered a quiet half-growl, half-snort.

"To put it mildly," he commented. "I never asked them to seal Shukaku within me, yet they did. I handled him as best as I could, but it was still not enough. It turned out I didn't live up to their expectations, so they simply decided to get rid of me. And I hated them for it."

"Them?"

It took him longer than ever to reply.

"My father, actually."

Matsuri let out the breath she was holding, as she kept her hands locked around his.

"That question was always nagging at me," she admitted, stepping up closer. "Why did your father allow that to happen? I mean, why didn't he prevent the sealing?"

"Prevent?" Gaara said, and she shuddered at the sadness that one word was dripping with. "He _ordered_ it to be done."

The girl faltered, wishing to see his face for the first time since they had started talking. She knew she could have expected literally everything from this conversation, but this...

Shock didn't even begin to describe it.

"Wh_—__what_?" Matsuri stuttered, as she fought the devastating pain clawing at her chest. "You mean... oh, Gaara, this is—"

She released his hands, moving back and forcefully pressing her palm against her lips. The odd feeling overwhelmed her - the feeling that she had just met a stranger.

A perfect stranger.

Everything she thought she knew about him, everything she had learnt from the first moment she had set her eyes on him, had been just turned upside down. The picture was complete now, but she couldn't find Gaara she used to know in it.

"I want the lights on," Matsuri blurted out in a daze. The redhead didn't speak, so she tripped towards the wall. Squinting her eyes, she clicked the light switch, as she wavered momentarily before she turned around and faced her perfect stranger.

It was still him... wasn't it? Naturally, he still looked the same... only he didn't. Not for her.

Slowly, uncertainly, the girl stepped up closer and raised her eyes to catch his gaze. Her heart still hurt from opening to embrace the whole truth that had been just given to her in the ultimate act of trust, and her mind was strangely clear, emptied of any thoughts.

With that last bit, she learnt everything she needed. It seemed to her that there were no questions left to be asked, no words left to be uttered. She could only stare at Gaara in silence, as he stared back, slightly nonplussed. She thought she needed to do something, to say something in return for what he had given her, and the only thing she could think of was the declaration she still didn't make, even if the time had been calling for it.

Suddenly abashed, she lowered her eyes briefly, as she took the deep breath before the plunge.

"I'm—I'm very grateful and... honoured... that you shared this with me," she began. "I appreciate it so much, and I—I only want to say that I—"

Funny, how hard it was to say those three words aloud. But still, if he managed to tell her so many details about his past, she definitely could manage a short declaration of her true feelings.

Ignoring the onslaught of heat upon her face and the intensity of Gaara's stare, she bravely looked him in the eye.

"I only want to say..." she repeated quietly, as her heart began to pound faster, "that I love you, Gaara."

The redhead visibly held his breath, as he stood completely still, obviously waiting for her words to sink in. He looked so surprised and confused, that in the different circumstances he would look pretty funny. But at the moment, it was not a laughing matter to any of them.

Matsuri shifted restlessly, because she wanted him to react. She didn't particularly expect he would utter those words back, yet she wanted him to say something. Just anything, so she would know he had acknowledged her declaration.

"I know that I should, uh, I don't know, have said it earlier, maybe—" the girl stuttered, unable to endure the tension any longer. She winced slightly at how stupid she sounded, but she simply had to let some of the nervousness escape, this or either way.

Promptly, Gaara raised his arm and gently put his fingers against her mouth, shaking his head. Matsuri blinked, astounded, as he shifted his hand, caressing her cheek. She closed her eyes, reveling in the sensation of his fingertips brushing against her skin, and the small sigh of disappointment tumbled off her lips, when he withdrew. Slowly, she opened her eyes to see him scrutinizing her from close-up, as if he sought for confirmation of her previous words in her gaze. Whatever he found, did apparently satisfy him, since he hugged the girl to his chest, and she relaxed almost instantly, melting in his embrace.

This was where she belonged; she had no slightest doubt about it, just as if previous several days didn't happen at all. She couldn't even bring herself to be angry at Yakku anymore. Naturally, he attempted to split her and Gaara apart, and even succeeded, albeit momentarily. But due to his endeavours, her relationship with Gaara had reached the new level of intimacy, and the warmth enveloped her heart at the thought.

Leaning against her boyfriend, Matsuri inhaled deeply, as the emotional exhaustion rendered her body sluggish. She wondered briefly how long they have been talking. She didn't want to disturb the silence and break the embrace, though, so she dismissed the thought, indulging herself almost shamelessly, as she cuddled up closer to her precious redhead.

**The end of chapter 17.**

**Chapter 18. Not a role model**


	18. 18 Not a role model

This chapter was planned long ago before Shippuuden ep.261 was released. That's why my story is not following the anime plot from now on.

Story image by tariah23 . deviantart . com

I have her permission to use it.

No betareading.

© "Naruto" is created and copyrighted by Kishimoto Masashi, and owned by Shueisha Publishing Co., Ltd. and Studio Pierrot.

Thank you very much for comments, favs and follows.

Enjoy.

o0o0o0o

**Alive And Victorious**

**Chapter 18. Not a role model**

_I only want to say that I love you, Gaara._

Speechless, the Kazekage could only stare at his girlfriend, as if caught in some kind of trance. Matsuri sent him an uncertain glance, and fidgeted, apparently nervous with his lack of acknowledgment. She began to stutter, and all he could think of was to put his fingers across her lips, to block the noise from interrupting the continuous echo in his head.

_I love you, Gaara._

Even if she wanted to catch him off guard in purpose, she couldn't have chosen any better moment. Telling the story of his past had left his entire being literally hurting, as if he had been scrubbed raw from the inside out. His head spinned, his breathing was laboured, and weren't those wet marks on his cheeks a trace of tears? The tears he hadn't shed for he didn't even know how long?

And then she said that she loved him.

Stunned, he raised his hand and touched Matsuri's cheek. She closed her eyes as if taking delight in the caress, and he leant in, watching her intently. She seemed to be lost in the sensation, but it perturbed him that he couldn't see her eyes. For that, he pulled his hand back, putting it on her shoulder, and she sighed, as her eyelids slipped up slowly, revealing two onyx orbs. Their gazes met, and the redhead briefly thought he should declare his feelings for her, either. Only he couldn't.

The horrors left in his wake were not entirely his fault, yet he still deemed himself responsible. Hoping that his willingness to rule the village and even sacrifice himself to protect it when needed would erase what he had done in the past, he didn't hesitate even once. The people of the village began to accept him, and they grew to maybe even love him, especially after Shukaku's removal, but it seemed that his sense of guilt couldn't be done away with by what others thought of him.

Before Matsuri favoured him with it, he was hardly aware that he direly needed it - the final act of liberation, coming along with her silently given forgiveness. Now the shackles binding him to his past fell, suddenly and unexpectedly, as if melted by the tears of his greatest regret. Emotionally exhausted and confused, he felt utterly vulnerable and helpless, so he only embraced his girlfriend, inwardly apologizing for not being able to say that he loved her as well.

Actually, he'd been trying to say it a few times before, but the time always seemed to be wrong. Also, Matsuri didn't seem to care, so he decided to leave it for later. If he knew what would happen he would have found the strength to say it. Maybe.

His girlfriend cuddled closer to him, and he held her tighter, mentally dismissing the thought. They were fine, finally, and even if he was still furious at the remembrance of his rival's messing and his brother's doings, he couldn't deny that their actions had led to rather happy ending. The war was upon ninja world, and it might be he would part with Matsuri forever. He didn't realize earlier how much it meant to him, to hear the declaration from her lips, and he didn't want to lose the chance to say the most important words to her, either.

But still, he couldn't tell her.

Brushing the top of her head with his lips, Gaara hugged her closer, unwilling to let her go even for a second. The girl leant against him so easily, and exhaled deeply. He glanced down, spotting the glimpse of her closed eyes, her expression serene as her cheek rested against his chest. Relaxing into the embrace, he breathed deeply, as the awareness of her curves pressing against his body grew more and more acute. He had got familiar with this sensation already, yet its intensity upset him a bit, even now. He always refused to indulge himself in powerful emotions, but this time powerful didn't even begin to describe it. The longer he inhaled Matsuri's scent and kept his hands upon her smaller frame, the harder it was to control the tingling in his fingertips, as the need to discover, to taste, to possess, grew in a rapid pace.

There were times when he had done it already. During their many trainings, he tasted what was not exactly his to taste, and only Matsuri's apprehensive, pleading gaze made him stop. It was the first time he had discovered how strong physical yearnings could be. He knew, then, that she would have been shocked and scared, if she had known the truth, so he withdrew. But now, it was certainly a different story, and he was aware that at this very moment he came to the point when he had to send Matsuri away immediately, or follow the burning need.

Leaning backwards a bit, the redhead looked at his girlfriend. Her appearance ruffled a bit, she glanced at him with half-lidded eyes, smiling dreamily. His gaze promptly dropped to her lips, as he brought his fingers upon the soft flesh, his touch gentle as the faintest breeze. Momentarily, he sought Matsuri's eyes, only to find the trembling anticipation in them. Fascinated as always, he leant in to catch his own reflection in ebony depths, as his palm slipped under her chin, raising her face so he could place a delicate kiss upon her forehead. Her eyes slipped shut as he went down, brushing against her eyelids with his mouth, briefly reveling in the sensation of her eyelashes tickling his lips. Swallowing, she slowly locked her arms around his neck, as he laid another kiss on the tip of her nose. The feeling of her warm breath seemed to filter through his skin, increasing his blazing inner heat and threatening to flood his body with it. When his lips finally descended upon hers, the time and space whirled around him in a dazzling flicker, leaving him lost and desperately searching for air, as if the kiss completely took his breath away.

Gaara didn't know how it happened or when, but he suddenly realized they weren't standing in the middle of his room anymore. Matsuri was sitting on his desk, quietly moaning into his mouth as the feeble, almost imperceptible shivers went down her body. Her thighs were spread wide as he pressed himself against her, holding her bottom so she wouldn't shift under the force of his hips thrusting forward. Both of them still had their clothes on, but he couldn't promise it would be that way for too long, since one of his hands had already slipped under Matsuri's shirt. Moreover, he could feel her palms upon his body, her probing fingertips slowly stroking his sides under the net shirt he was wearing.

As he swiftly recalled their actions from the last several minutes, he could remember quite clearly how it came to this. He remembered how the kiss grew more and more passionate, how his hands began to travel up and down Matsuri's body, and how her responsiveness had finally stripped him of all of his still remaining inhibitions, leading him to push her towards the desk.

And he remembered something more. He remembered how the words he had wanted to say easily tumbled off his lips, mixed into their pants and whimpers, and how sweetly Matsuri gasped at the declaration.

So it wasn't as difficult as he had thought before, after all.

Oddly enough, the notion made the logical part of his mind suddenly click. The redhead backed lightly, withdrawing his hand from under his girlfriend's shirt, and swallowed.

"M-Matsuri," he whispered hoarsely. "We'd better... better stop—"

The kunoichi blinked and looked around drowsily, as if woken up from a deep slumber. Her gaze focused on him, at last, and she licked her lips, the action making him avert his eyes hastily. Actually, he didn't want to stop. He wasn't even sure why he said they should stop. He supposed his sense of security must have been disturbed too greatly due to the recent events, and he needed to recover completely, before he would give himself to her, and claim her his.

He took another step backwards, to give her more space. She glanced at him and started smoothing out her attire in silence. Gaara watched her, desperately attempting to cool down his eager libido, since the elation overwhelming his senses was still dangerously powerful. Matsuri ran the trembling hand through her hair, and let out a sigh, shooting another glance at him. He didn't know if she wanted him to say something, but even if she did, the only words he could manage at the moment would be an invitation to continue, so he remained silent, just in case.

The girl smiled shyly and hesitated, before she wordlessly headed for the exit. Coming to a halt right before she would step through the threshold, she glimpsed at him over her shoulder, and timidly swept her hair behind her ear.

"See you—"

"—tomorrow," he finished quickly with a nod, as he suddenly regretted his decision to let her go. In two days, he would go to the war, and there was no telling if he would ever return. Naturally, the Alliance simply had to win. There was no other option. But still, Akatsuki was powerful. Most of its members could equally fight a Kage. True that only a few had left, now, but they obviously had a plan and believed themselves to be victors in an oncoming war. And if the Alliance would be defeated and most of the shinobi killed, maybe, just maybe, sending Matsuri away hadn't been such a great choice.

The door was shut with a quiet noise, and Gaara was left alone in his room.

o0o0o0o

The air in the Kazekage's office, usually quiet and businesslike place, was thickening in a rapid pace, as the leader of Sunagakure scowled at his girlfriend. Matsuri held her ground, as she put her hands on her hips, her eyes throwing daggers at the redhead.

"I can't believe what I'm hearing," she seethed furiously. "Gaara, I'm _not_ staying in the village!"

"Yes, you are," he replied calmly, his composure apparently outraging her even more.

"I'm going with you!" she argued, raising her voice a bit, still careful not to freak out too loudly since they were in the Kazekage's office, no more no less. "I'm not staying here while all of my friends would go to the war!"

Gaara didn't answer, and she could hardly stop herself from jumping at this annoying desk of his and grabbing his annoying white robe, to shake the annoying stubbornness out of him, and fast. Whatever he would say, she wouldn't stay in the village, period.

Naturally, she wouldn't dare to argue with him that way if he wasn't her boyfriend. She would quietly obey, no matter if she liked what she had been ordered to do, or not. But now, the situation was insufferable. He knew that she loved him, and he said he loved her as well, yet he denied her joining the war troops.

At the moment, she wasn't exactly sure if she still loved him, or maybe she had just begun to hate him.

"You're staying in the village," Gaara drawled, obviously irritated by her mutinous attitude. "I will say no more."

Matsuri ground her teeth with a snarl. She knew that tone of his. Oh yes, she knew it perfectly well. When he said he would say no more, he meant it. Definitely.

"I'm sure you won't, Kazekage-sama!" she screamed, fully aware her conduct was immature, but she couldn't care less at the moment. She stormed out of the office without looking back, her fists clenched. Muttering the profanities under her breath, she miraculously managed to say goodbye to Kashiko-san, ignoring the assistant's curious glances.

The disappointment and indignation boiled in her incessantly. When she had come to the office, she was nervous a bit, but still happy, and Gaara's order was like slamming the door in her face. She still couldn't believe he told her to stay. Her friends were going to fight, _he_ was going to fight, and yet he commanded her not to leave the village. Her very first thought, even if she didn't utter it, was that he deemed her not skilled enough to clash with mighty enemies. It was mortifying, to say the least. Yes, she wasn't amongst top ten ninjas in the village, but she was still pretty good, damn it!

Or maybe she wasn't.

Biting her lip, she told herself she wouldn't cry. Gaara cared about her, of course, that was why he denied her going to the war. She ought to be grateful. And happy. He would come back alive and victorious, and they would live happily ever after.

Bullshit.

Running down the stairs, Matsuri let the images she feared the most invade her mind. She didn't even have to strain her imagination too much, because she had seen it already. She had seen him falling, she had seen him being carried away by the enemy, and finally, she had seen him dead.

No living happily ever after. No victory. Only bitterness and grief, till the end of time.

The girl went out of the building, her feet moving on their own, as they carried her towards the cliffs, towards the tombs area. Since she had grown apart from her friends, she found herself visiting this place more often. It depended on her mood where she would go. When she was glad, she was going to her grandfather's grave. When she was sad or angry, she was often finding herself in front of Elder Chiyo's grave, and talking to the deceased woman she didn't even know was always helping her to calm down.

When she arrived at the spot, the plan was formed in her mind already. She would disobey the direct order given by her superior, and follow the troops secretly. Whatever punishment would be meted later, she would face it bravely. It couldn't be worse than the prospect of losing Gaara for ever.

The remembrance of her precious redhead made her resolution waver for an instant. He would be so mad at her. She could just see his face, the fury written all over his features. How would he punish her? A year exile on the border post? Two years? Matsuri has never heard of any ninja who would disobey Kazekage's order. Therefore, she had no slightest idea what punishment would have awaited her if she had done it.

With a sigh, the girl slowed down her pace as the white gravestones appeared in front of her. From what she had heard from others about Elder Chiyo, the old kunoichi would scoff at her and chastise her for being selfish. But still, the people who had known Elder Chiyo were shocked by her actions after the Kazekage's abduction. Apparently, the old puppeteer had changed, and maybe she wouldn't deny Matsuri following her heart, after all.

Kneeling down, Matsuri briefly bowed to the tomb, letting the anger go. She admitted to herself she had reacted too emotionally to Gaara's words. Her outburst had most likely confirmed him in the belief that it would be better if she stayed in Suna. She should have kept her cool and try to discuss the matter, but she was too hurt by what was actually nothing more than her assumption, that Gaara deemed her to be weak. And, as he had pointed out earlier, she should have more faith in herself. She knew she was good. She _was_ good. So why did she let this conversation perturb her to such extent?

Lost in thoughts, the girl jabbed at the sand with her index finger, as she started drawing things, her mind wandering back to the last several days. Those were hard, exhausting days, to put it mildly. She felt like she had lost a part of herself, first, then had got another part, and she still needed time to adjust to the change. Maybe that was the answer she was searching for. She simply wasn't herself these days.

Maybe Gaara wasn't himself, too. Maybe he would regain his senses and rethink what he had said to her. Maybe he would even change his mind.

The thought made Matsuri's heart throb, from happiness and fear. She would be happy to follow Gaara to the battlefield, but she was terrified by the possibility of defeat. There would be no Elder Chiyo this time. There would be only—

_I don't want to live a life of a ninja_, Matsuri thought suddenly. _Grandfather Aoba was right. It's nothing glorious or enviable about it. Just look at Gaara, at what they had done to him. If being a ninja means placing such a burden on other people, and accepting similar burden on myself, then I don't want to be a ninja._

Shocked, the girl stared at the quirks and spirals she had unconsciously drawn in the sand. The conclusion only added to her confusion, instead of soothing her. The entire world was on the brink of the war, and the last thing she needed was wallowing in doubt, but she couldn't help it. Not after learning the truth about Gaara's past. However, Gaara himself didn't seem to refuse his destiny. He had found the strength in himself, somehow, and willingly took the responsibility for Sunagakure. If he could have done it, she could surely do the same.

Suddenly, she fully realized how many things she still didn't know and wanted to ask him, but there was so little time left. Indulging in pointless arguments was one of the stupidest things they could do in the current circumstances. With that thought, she swiftly rose to a standing position, and headed towards her house. Actually, she wanted to go and see Gaara, but he wouldn't have a time for her at the moment, most likely. That's why she decided to wait till the sunset, even if it still didn't guarantee she would have a chance to apologize and talk him into changing his mind.

After coming home, Matsuri settled herself next to the window and begin to watch the Kazekage Tower. The activity in the building was still enormous, and no wonder. Most of the ninjas were going to depart in two days, and only a few troops were standing behind, including her, unfortunately. Of course, she understood some people must have stayed to defend the village in case the Akatsuki would try something wicked, but her personal feelings prevailed over logical reasons. She simply wouldn't bear sitting around and doing nothing, while Gaara and her friends would fight for the entire world's sake. And if, by any chance, his time - or hers - was coming to an end, she wanted to be constantly by his side, till the very end.

Matsuri bit her lip, refusing to immerse in depressing ruminations. She knew what Gaara would say in answer to her doubts, that the fight was lost even before it started if she let her spirit wither. Naturally, it was easy for him to say such things, once he had become the Kazekage. He had this particular gift, his unique ninjutsu, which didn't go away even after removing the Bijuu from him. It meant he wasn't only powerful as a Jinchuuriki. He was powerful as himself. And that was something she lacked...

Sighing, Matsuri thought to herself that she was an optimist by birth, but she obviously couldn't succeed at maintaining her cheerful, slightly idealistic attitude at the moment.

As the evening came, she grew more and more restless, until she couldn't wait any longer. She left her apartment and walked towards the Tower, deliberating over the best strategy of approaching the building close enough to find out what Gaara was actually doing, and if there was a chance to see him at all.

She slowly paced down the streets in circles, still far from achieving her goal. The jounins and ANBU were rushing in and out, but there was no hope she would get any sign from them. Eventually, the elders began to go out from the Tower, which could hopefully mean the daily debates were over. Matsuri was very alert, straining her ninja instincts to give her any prompt. Gaara was always perfectly masking his chakra, and only skilled sensory ninjas could perceive him, but forntunately, the feeling of the chakra wasn't the only thing, which could help her pinpoint him. And now, her instincts were telling her he certainly wouldn't go to sleep that night, and tomorrow's night as well. She asked him once if he had been sleeping at all after having Shukaku taken out of him. _Hardly_, he had said, avoiding her gaze, and she asked no more, but from what she had experienced later, she knew that he wasn't sleeping, while being under pressure or feeling insecure, especially when the moon was full. And now the redhead was definitely being under a fair amount of pressure, which meant he would most likely work till the next day, or leave the Tower to find the refuge in one of the highest points in the village, the top of the Tower included.

Several ANBU guards left the Tower, heading towards the gates, and finally, the Kazekage appeared in the doorway, with a few guards following him. Oddly enough, he had the gourd strapped to his back, and Matsuri gasped at the thought that he was secretly leaving the village. Shaking her head in a wordless response to her own doubts, she recovered quickly, and stepped closer into the dim half-light, waiting till he would set his eyes upon her. At the dismissing wave of his hand, the ANBU merged into the shadows, as the redhead approached his girlfriend.

"Sneaking out?" she joked lightly, with a faint, tentative smile curving her lips. "Can I go with you?"

The Kazekage eyed her with a serious expression, as if considering her request thoroughly.

"Gaara, I'm sorry for earlier," she said, eventually. "I realized we have so little time left. I want to spend all that time with you. That is, if you'd let me" she said, her voice distinctly quieter.

The redhead nodded slowly, officially.

"I'm going to the desert, to work on my techniques," he said, and Matsuri lowered her gaze for a second, as she took his words for an indirect refusal.

"I see," she said with a small, painful sigh. "Sorry for disturbing you."

The realization slowly dawned on Gaara, as he shook his head briefly.

"I'm glad you came," he said in a low voice. "If you find watching it interesting, I'd be more than happy to take you with me."

Matsuri stared at him, surprised by his choice of words. It didn't quite sound like Gaara she used to know, but she supposed it was due to the circumstances. They were not entirely alone, since the ANBU were surely watching them, so he was careful not to get too sentimental. But still, he seemed to be actually happy she had come to see him, and it was worth anything.

"Of course I find it interesting," she whispered, leaning in. "I bet you're going to do something enormous, aren't you?"

She didn't even know how wrong she was.

Several hours later, in the dead of the night, she still didn't entirely recover from the initial amazement. Actually, enormous didn't even begin to describe what Gaara was doing with his sand, and Matsuri briefly wondered if he seriously thought someone could not find watching that compelling. He himself was most likely bored with repeating the same move hundreds of times, as she often was during her own practice, either. Developing new techniques and mastering the old ones recquired so much work, and only the final effect was spectacular. That is, if one was lucky enough.

Anyway, she was absorbed completely, as she didn't feel like sleeping or eating at all. She had already settled herself comfortably on the sand platform, which was floating in the midair, and enjoyed the view, as the waves of sand below her were continuously rising and falling at Gaara's command. His reserves of chakra were quite considerable, allowing him to train that long, but Matsuri could see the first signs of exhaustion. It didn't took long when he finally stopped, and brought her to the ground. The girl jumped down neatly before the sand carrying her descended onto the dune, and approached her boyfriend, who had already sat down and began to drink the water from his canteen, gazing at the half moon. Matsuri settled herself next to the redhead, and smiled, as he glanced at her from the corner of his eye, still sipping the water. Eventually, he put the canteen into his pouch, and grasped Matsuri's hand. The kunoichi squeezed his palm, entwining her fingers with his, and wondered how to begin the talk about including her among the war troops.

"You don't seem to be very tired," she commented, as she decided that it would be better to start with the lighter topic. "I wouldn't be able to drag myself from the bed for a few days, if I would train that long and intensely."

Gaara stared at the moon again.

"It's nothing in comparison to how I was when Ichibi was still sealed within me," he finally replied, and the girl blinked. "I'm just stating the fact," he added at her slightly astonished expression. "I didn't mean I miss him."

"I see," she said, suddenly pensive. "I thought before that I envied you, but..."

"Exactly," he nodded, acknowledging what she didn't say. "The price for wielding such power is too high to pay."

The momentary shudder went down Matsuri's body, as she took a hint immediately.

"Yes, it's just tremendous," she said quietly, and Gaara only glanced at her. "But if I was powerful, you would take me to the war with you, wouldn't you?" she added, her voice tinted with sadness. "I'm simply not good enough."

"You _are_ good enough," the redhead protested, as he stroked her palm with his thumb.

"Then why?" she demanded, turning her head and holding his gaze firmly. "Why can't I go to the war?"

"Because..." Gaara began, his grip on her hand tightening. "Because I love you, Matsuri, and I can't let you die."

The girl swallowed in silence, her heart throbbing sweetly at those words.

"I love you, too," she echoed in a whisper. "And I want to stay by your side till the very end."

Gaara brushed her cheek with his fingers, before his gaze hardened.

"I have already weighed my options, Matsuri," he stated matter-of-factly, withdrawing his hand. "And I decided I can't risk including you among the war troops. This war recquires putting the complete and utter focus on it, and I have to get rid of all distractions."

"So I'm the distraction, now," she said in a hushed, sad voice, looking away at the starry sky above the sand dunes, as the throbbing in her chest slowly turned painful.

"Yes, Matsuri, you are," he said, his tone final and steady. "I can't go to the battle while constantly worrying about you. I must know you are safe from the Akatsuki."

Matsuri looked at him with her eyes wide.

"I can't quite believe what I'm hearing," she said, half-serious, half-kidding. "What happened to all those ninja rules? Don't you know a ninja ought to control his emotions, to restrain them with an iron fist of his reason?"

Gaara didn't seem to be disturbed by her mentioning the ninja rules.

"I know," he acknowledged indifferently. "Obviously, I'm not a role model."

The girl giggled, wrinkling her nose funnily at this self-criticism.

"Sure you're not," she said. "And I like it that way," she added, glancing at him tenderly. "But please, Gaara, try walking in my shoes. What happens if you... you know... if the Alliance would be defeated and you—" She broke off.

"I told you I have already weighed all options," the redhead uttered after a few minutes of silence. "And I believe I made the best decision."

"Aren't you going to change your mind?" Matsuri asked, even if she already knew the answer. Gaara shook his head, and the girl sighed, pulling back her hand and embracing her knees with her arms. "Sometimes I wish you weren't so stubborn," she commented, and he slanted the meaningful glance at her.

"Don't even think of following me," he remarked, and the kunoichi flinched, blushing.

"I have never—" she started with an outright lie, but he interrupted.

"Yes, you have."

"I have not!"

"Yes, you have. Don't even try to deny it."

Matsuri growled at him. "Sometimes I really hate you."

Apparently, the Kazekage didn't care. "But you had just said that you loved me," he only reminded her, and she pursed her lips to stop the laughter from coming out, but the corners of her mouth still quivered, betraying her.

"You're insufferable," she commented, rolling her eyes.

"Look who's talking."

At that, she could restrain herself no longer, as she began to giggle uncontrollably, pressing her fingers against her lips. Eventually, the laughter died out, and she inhaled heavily, throwing her head back and gazing at the stars.

"The desert is so beautiful at night," she said in a wistful voice.

"Hn," Gaara replied.

Matsuri sighed again.

"I don't want to go home at all," she complained.

"Hn," the redhead muttered, and she smirked.

"Growing talkative again, aren't you?" she joked.

Gaara scowled at her, and she raised her hand in a defensive gesture.

"Don't give me that look!" she whined. "You're scaring me!"

"Am I?" he inquired sarcastically, obviously unconvinced, and Matsuri only grinned. The redhead rose to a standing position, and she stood up as well.

"I'll walk you home," he announced, and Matsuri's heart almost leapt from her chest. They headed towards Suna's gate in silence, holding hands. With every step, more and more tremors were shaking her body. She had made the certain decision, earlier, but now she doubted she would have enough courage for that...

When they entered the village, she was so nervous that her legs started wobbling. If she had any choice, she wouldn't have done what she had in mind, yet, but unfortunately, the choice was hers no longer. There was still a huge possibility that it was their last rendezvous, and she couldn't just let the chance slip.

The apprehension was almost unbearable, as they went into the building and climbed upstairs. Matsuri swallowed, not even certain Gaara would think about it, either. From what they had been doing in his room earlier, she could unmistakably tell he wanted her badly. However, if he deemed it another distraction, he would probably simply kiss her goodbye and go away.

And, if they were lucky enough, he would return in several months.

If they were lucky enough...

The couple reached the last floor, and they stopped. The light was dim there, but Matsuri could still see the redhead's face. Suddenly, she felt the strange lump swelling up in her throat, as she stared at this wonder called Gaara. She knew his face as she knew her own, but she still felt compelled to memorize his features for this one last time.

"I won't follow you," she began, and sniffled. "But you have to promise me, Gaara, that you will come back. That you will come back alive and victorious, do you understand me?"

The redhead embraced her mutely, and she hid her face in his chest. Not that he would promise her what she had asked. He couldn't make such a promise, and she was aware of that.

"Gaara..." she whispered, her voice muffled by the fabric of his coat, all the sadness and despair poured into that one word. He hugged her even tighter in return, and she sank her fingers into his arms, biting her lip. So this was it. The farewell. Of course, he wouldn't march away in the next twenty four hours, but she knew he would have no time to see her before the departure.

She raised her head, and traced her fingers along his jawline. The feeling of his skin under her fingertips... It was still new, it was still confusing, but also, the temptation of it was simply irresistible. She could feel Gaara's intense stare upon her face, but she carefully avoided his eyes, as she brushed against the corner of his mouth with the pads of her fingers, the remembrance of their previous kisses surfacing her consciousness effortlessly. The kisses, which were instantly snaring her under his spell...

She wondered briefly if he knew at all what he had done to her. It started quite a long time ago... with a dream. The most embarrassing dream she had ever had. She misinterpreted the meaning of the dream, then, but now, she knew. Actually, she still wasn't completely ready for turning that dream into reality, but her time was up.

Licking her suddenly dry lips, she locked her trembling hands around Gaara's neck, and timidly gazed into his eyes. In the response to her action, his grasp on her waist tightened, and his stare grew unbearably intense, as if he was trying to look into her soul, to its very bottom. Matsuri wondered what it exactly was what he wanted to see, but she couldn't tell, of course. Her breathing grew laboured, as she fought the conflicting feelings. She decided she wouldn't be able to tell him bluntly what she wanted, but still, she could let her actions speak for themselves. Slowly, she wove her fingers into his hair, pressing against the back of his head with her palm. The redhead complied, gradually leaning in, as his eyes glittered in the half-light. The girl tilted her head, as her eyes started slipping shut on their own, right before Gaara's breath fanned over her face.

The kiss was very tentative, delicate, just like it was their first. Matsuri was slightly surprised, but then she realized Gaara was oddly tensed up, as if he was forcing himself not to indulge too much. Was he afraid they would lose control, like they did the last time?

Actually, Matsuri hoped for it. And she needed it to happen rather fast, before Gaara would decide that he had to go.

She stood on her toes, pushing against him with her entire body, gently at first. The redhead didn't loosen his grip on her; only brought one of his hands even lower, until his fingers settled against the curve of her backside. However, he still kept the kiss chaste, hardly parting his lips, even if his breathing grew hitched already. The kunoichi licked his upper lip with the tip of her tongue, and withdrew quickly, as her fingertips clawed at his coat. Apparently surprised by her boldness, Gaara held his breath for a second, so she dared to repeat the movement, only making it slower this time. Even if he planned to resist, the mounting excitement got the better of him, as he responded with entering her mouth with his tongue. At first, it was a probing, unsure gesture, as if the redhead was going to pull back at any time. Gradually, the caress grew more insistent and aggressive, and soon Matsuri could barely remember what this was all about. The only thing, constantly seizing her mind and enthralling her senses, the only thing that truly mattered at the moment, was Gaara's warm, alive presence next to her, sending pleasant tingles down her spine, as his lips sensually worked over hers.

Thus, the trigger was pulled.

**The end of chapter 18.**

**The next chapter: Like none other**


	19. 19 Like none other (part 1)

**Everyone, thank you very much for comments, favs and follows! Sorry I didn't update earlier but the real life went hard on me, recently.**

**This chapter wasn't betaread. Let me know if you find any mistakes.**

******Story image by tariah23 . deviantart . com**

******I have her permission to use it.**

**Since I've been complimented a few times on keeping Gaara's character in canon, I'd like to say it's quite easy because I like him just the way Kishimoto had created him. For that, I don't feel like changing him into a playboy or a kinky slave owner or a little girlish submissive uke (no offence, yaoi lovers XD) or something like that. I like Gaara when he is Gaara - simple as that :)**

**Now, the warning.**

**This chapter contains adult themes. You know what it means, right? Nudity, sexual touch, and so on, with all the awkwardness normal first-time sex most often includes.**

**Plus, it's a pairing many people consider implausible and disgusting. **(LOL, I simply had to add this part, just for fun! XD)

**!YOU'VE BEEN WARNED! **Still sure you're want to read it?

Enjoy then.

o0o0o0o

**Alive And Victorious**

**Chapter 19. Like none other (part 1)**

The deep silence reigned over Sunagakure, as the majority of the villagers were sleeping soundly. The daily activities has long diminished, until only several guards and messengers were striding down the village's roads and lanes.

A few ANBU ninjas were lurking in the darkness, scattered around the building the young Kazekage had entered not so long ago. Since they didn't expect him to go out before the dawn, they relaxed slightly, only hoping they would also have a chance for a goodbye kiss - or even more than a kiss, if they would be lucky - from the women they loved.

In the building, on the last floor, the light was dim, but still bright enough to distinguish two shadows, clinging to each other tightly. If someone would go there, they would unmistakably recognize the Kazekage and his girlfriend, kissing and hugging each other as if their life depended on it, but at this hour the chance of any intrusion was close to none. Nobody was there to witness the muffled sighs and moans, the quiet whispers and the rustling of clothes, as the silence and privacy steadily encouraged the couple to indulge their senses, deeper and deeper.

Eventually, one of the shadows moved back, shivering. It was the girl; her tousled hair and large onyx eyes, now dazed and blurry, could be distinguished even in the half-light. Wordlessly, she pushed her hand inside her flak jacket, and pulled out the key. It took her the considerable amount of time to open the door, but she managed to do that, eventually. Her boyfriend didn't move, watching her as she went inside and held the door open for him. He looked like he simply didn't know what to do, so the girl swept her hair behind her ear with a nervous gesture, and waved her hand softly, inviting him in.

Reluctantly, he stepped inside, and the girl shut the door without making any noise. They stood still for a few minutes, before Matsuri unfastened her pouch, and carefully put it away. Without looking at the redhead, she took off the forearm protectors, and untied the hitai-ate from her neck.

Gaara stared at her, utterly confused. It seemed Matsuri was willing to go that far; he couldn't be mistaken. But still, it was so hard to believe, that it erased his usual confidence and he stood there, frozen still and speechless, like a complete fool.

The brunette glanced at him briefly, and vaguely pointed with her hand in his general direction.

"Would you like to, um, take it off?" she asked shyly, and he realized she had meant the gourd, which was still strapped to his back.

Since he didn't feel like troubling himself with the buckles and straps, he simply let the gourd turn into sand. The grains swirled around him, as he sent them to the corner of the room, near the door, where they reshaped. Matsuri didn't wait for him to finish. She approached the table and filled two glasses with the water, taking a few gulps before she settled herself on the chair and took off her stockings and sandals, the action taking forever due to her shaking hands. Only then, she rose to a standing position and looked at the redhead with the faint, timid smile, her gaze assessing him carefully.

Gaara stepped up closer, taking her hands in his. Even if he had seen couples making sex before, it wasn't of any help to him, actually. Theoretically, he knew what he was supposed to do, but he was still concerned he could do something wrong, make a mistake somehow. True, that he didn't do anything wrong until now, but what they've been doing before was basically an overture. This night, they were most likely going to complete the act, and even if he felt heated at the thought, it didn't help him to get rid of the doubts.

Matsuri giggled quietly and he blinked, surprised and wary. The girl looked him in the eye and lowered her gaze. His gaze followed and he immediately found out what it was that made her laugh. She was looking at their joined palms, and Gaara realized his hands were trembling, just like hers. The two glanced at each other tenderly, before they embraced.

"I need to take a shower first," the redhead whispered, brushing his lips against his girlfriend's hair. The smooth wisps tickled his skin when she nodded.

"Of course," she whispered back. "Me too."

They stood still for a good while, before she withdrew. Gaara took a towel she had offered and disappeared behind the bathroom door. Soon, the sound of the water running could be heard, and Matsuri inhaled deeply, pressing her hands against her flaring cheeks.

_Calm down,_ she thought to herself. _Easy, easy, easyeasyeasy-_

It was hopeless. She was everything but easy, now.

The images her imagination was producing attempted to flood her consciousness but she refused any of them to haunt her. Mechanically, she made the bed, briefly hiding her face in her favourite peach-coloured sheets. The fabric was smooth and cool, and she exhaled heavily into it, catching the feeble scent of an olive flower. Once she was done, she carefully lowered the blinds and lit the night lamp. After switching the ceiling light off, the warm half-light filled the room, and the girl realized that she didn't hear the water running anymore. Swallowing nervously, she turned her back to the bathroom door and approached the table, pretending to drink the water. Her heart hammered so wildly that she could barely hear the door opening. Screwing her eyes shut, she took a deep breath.

_On the count of three_, she said to herself, gripping the glass tightly before she turned around. _One, two, three!_

Not that she hadn't seen shirtless guys before. Of course she did. But this time, it was different. This time, it was not a random bare chested guy she had seen by accident, or a patient being treated during the medical ninjutsu training.

This time, it was her precious redhead standing right before her, and wearing only the towel wrapped around his hips. The sight made her stomach flip, as the warmth gradually overcame her cheeks, regardless of her efforts not to look flustered.

Careful to keep her eyes upon his face, Matsuri sipped the water and put the glass aside, smiling weakly.

"I suppose it's my turn, now," she said in a hushed voice, and Gaara only nodded in a response. "I'll be back in no time," she added. "Make yourself at home."

Once she entered the bathroom, the redhead carefully folded his clothes and put them on the chair. He took another towel from where Matsuri kept them, and unwrapped the wet fabric from his hips. Even if he was going to get rid of it soon, he still preferred not to be stark naked when his girlfriend would have exited the bathroom. After that, he sat down on the edge of the bed, musing over the consequences of what they were going to do.

It was common for a kunoichi who didn't want to have a baby to take the particular mix of herbs. Every average medic nin could make it up. However, Matsuri did not start taking it, yet she invited him in, her actions telling him that she wanted more than only kissing and holding hands. It was rather hard to believe Matsuri would be so reckless. Apparently, she was ready to face the consequences, whatever they might be. Gaara wondered if he was ready for it, either, but he quickly dismissed the pointless thought. Ready or not, both of them had obviously succumbed to the primary need to take the chance of creating a new life before they would meet their end. Of course, the logical part of his mind refused to believe the Akatsuki could win, but there was still a chance that the malicious organization would actually defeat the Alliance-

The sound of the door opening interrupted his musings, and the remembrance of the war and his other responsibilities swiftly abandoned his mind, as he watched Matsuri standing in the doorway. Only the towel shielded her from his eyes, and Gaara suddenly swallowed, as their gazes met and Matsuri instinctively gripped the fabric. The redhead slowly rose to a standing position, and the girl smiled on him with a small, bashful smile, its sweetness absolutely captivating to him, before she switched the bathroom lights off, and closed the door. After that, she turned to him once more and swept her hair behind her ear again. They looked at each other in silence, before they approached each other tentatively. With a sigh, Matsuri cuddled to him, for the first time pressing her cheek not against his robe nor coat, but against his warm skin. She closed her eyes, as his heart thudded harder, just like her own.

It didn't take him too long to draw back gently, and the nervousness returned to Matsuri, only increased tenfold. Gaara put his slightly trembling hands on her shoulders, and she gulped, taking the deep breath.

"You do it," she whispered, her eyes desperately sticking to his.

The redhead slid his palms down her arms and grabbed the edge of the towel, which was wrapped around her slender frame. Matsuri lifted her hands a bit, while he pulled the fabric and let it go. The towel rustled quietly as it swiftly fell on the floor, and the girl clenched her fists to control the assaulting urge to cover herself with her hands. Her face started burning, slightly at first. Gaara's gaze was still connected to hers, while he unwrapped the soft cloth from his hips and simply let it fall. Taking her hands in his, he squeezed them reassuringly, even though he was embarrassed, too. Matsuri responded with a quick, shaky smile, bracing up for the inevitable.

She didn't know what was more flustering - his gaze upon her, fascinated and kind of ravenous, or her own reaction to his nudity. She was fascinated, either, to put it mildly. The sight was like none other, and she found it compelling and perplexing at the same time.

His skin was milky and flawless, as if it belonged to a girl. She couldn't see any disfigurements, except for the star-shaped scar right below his left collar-bone. Even if short and slender, he was still nicely built, and looked really good in the warm half-light.

„You are so beautiful, Matsuri," the redhead whispered hoarsely, causing an onslaught of heat overcome his girlfriend's face and neck.

„You look very good, too," she uttered in a tiny voice, thinking to herself that it was quite an understatement. He looked so good to her, so absolutely fantastic, that she wouldn't hesitate to swear he was the most gorgeous man she had ever met.

Gaara was slightly baffled by her words. He wondered if she had possibly spoken them because she thought it was appropriate, giving the circumstances. As usual, his first instinct was to search for the confirmation of her words in her eyes, since he had learnt already that her eyes couldn't lie.

He released Matsuri's hand and raised her chin with his fingers. She blinked, her gaze unfocused, before she slowly recovered from a daze. Once their eyes met, it only seemed natural that he leant in and captured her lips with a tentative kiss.

The responsive gasp, which tore out from her throat in a response to the caress, made Gaara's head spin. He placed his hands upon Matsuri's bare back, and drew her close, until he could feel the soft curves pressing against his body, just like many times before. Only this time, nothing stood between them. There was only skin brushing against skin, and the sensation of it, even if completely unfamiliar to him, was simply amazing.

The redhead knew it would be better to proceed rather slowly. They were so new to this, inexperienced and afraid of making a mistake. But still, the mounting need had to find a way to express itself before it would burn him from the inside, so he deepened the kiss, hugging his girlfriend even tighter.

Matsuri sighed and moaned, the sound of it instantly heating up his already eager libido. He shifted his palms up and down her back, while his tongue danced with hers, impatient to taste even more of her temptingly soft skin. Pressing against Matsuri's body with his own, he gently pushed her towards the bed, and she let out the small, surprised gasp, yielding to the wordless demand.

Step by step, they approached the edge of the bed without breaking the embrace. Gaara could feel Matsuri was shaking slightly, and her whimpers were most likely an expression of arousal just as much as of timidity. He was apprehensive, either. His deepest fear was still vivid, after all, the fear of being rejected at the time of his biggest vulnerability, even if he knew that this time he wouldn't be rejected, definitely.

Matsuri could feel his momentary hesitation. Breaking the kiss, she moved away a little and glanced at him diffidently.

"Are you afraid?" she asked in a quiet whisper, her voice serious and tender, and the redhead gave the quick, short nod, reluctantly admitting what he would rather keep to himself. Matsuri sat down, tugging him along with her, before she spoke again. "Me too," she said with a weak smile, which swiftly disappeared when Gaara put his palms upon her shoulders and gently pushed her down. The girl complied, swallowing, and the emotional turmoil within her increased, interfering with her attempts to identify the source of the trepidation, until she remembered one of the psychological trainings she had undergone several months before, the words of an instructor in particular.

_The biggest fear humans can experience is the fear of the unknown._

She repeated those words a few times in her mind, and they sounded so right. That was what she exactly feared in this situation - entering the land where she had never been before. What was even worse, the reason was not of any help there, since she could rely on her instincts only.

As a ninja, she had to listen to her instincts - her intuition - quite often. However, whatever she would have learnt that way, had been always filtered through her logical judgment, since she had to keep her calm during the mission. Emotions were unnecessary there, but now... she was anything but strong, overwhelming emotions.

Gaara didn't seem to notice her fears, or maybe just ignored them, as he knelt down next to her. Matsuri stared at the ceiling, instinctively clenching her fists in anticipation. _Easy, Matsuri, easy, just keep breathing..._

"You're trembling," he remarked calmly, and the corners of her lips quivered, trying to form a faint smile, which she knew was rather unconvincing. The redhead scrutinized her face and reached for her, causing her flinch lightly at the airy touch of his fingertips on her collar-bone, while he stroked the skin slowly, uncertainly. After a few minutes, his hand travelled down, and he hesitated only for a second before his palm gently cupped her breast, the contact eliciting a nervous sigh from them both. Even if he didn't move his hand at first, the warmth of his skin was enough to make her nipples harden. The kunoichi bit her lip as he kneaded the soft, resilient flesh ever so slightly, before he shifted his palm to brush the small nub with his thumb. The feeling was like none other, and Matsuri sucked the rapid breath through the clenched teeth. Regardless of her will, her body arched eagerly as if inviting him to continue, and he did. Breathing heavily, he repeated the caress again and again, apparently taking a great delight in discovering the new ways to please her. Eventually, the girl began to writhe fervently, whimpering, and only then he dared to forsake the alluring softness of the twin mounds and move down her sides and stomach, his fingers never leaving her smooth skin until they reached the dark triangle of curls down her abdomen.

By then, Matsuri partly recovered from the state of the passionate giddiness, and blinked, tensing up a little. The redhead watched her meticulously, as the pads of his fingers played with the soft hair, impatient to learn the enticing secrets it kept hidden. Matsuri glanced at him uncertainly, catching his eyes momentarily before he returned to staring at her naked body. Judging by his gaze darkened by lust and other bodily reactions, he was more than willing to continue, so the girl drew in the deep, shaky breath, trying to relax. She trusted him, no doubt about that, but it still was her very first journey together with him. Till now, it was always her and her alone, her own hand and her own fingers doing wonders between her legs, and even if she tried to imagine many times before how it would feel if he touched her in this manner, the reality of their intimate embrace was completely different than her fantasies. Oddly enough, the dream she had once had gave her the best recognition. Its details had already started to come into blur in her memory, but she could still remember the erotic awakening the dream had caused. Now, she felt as if she was experiencing this kind of awakening again, with the same trepidation haunting her.

Matsuri glimpsed at Gaara again, and noticed that he was observing her. From his expression she could tell that he was aware there was some kind of restlessness rising within her, and he waited for her to either share it with him or dispel it by herself. Taking a shallow, nervous breath, she gingerly parted her legs, and gasped when his fingers followed immediately, just as if he was only waiting for the smallest sign to further.

The redhead felt dizzy and licked his dry lips, as his fingertips slid down the folds of what felt like the hot, wet silk. The sensation was like none other, and his heart pounded harder still, while the tension slowly disappeared from Matsuri's features, replaced by what he couldn't actually identify with his senses muffled by the increasing passion. However, he couldn't miss the quaking, which suddenly went through her body, and he stopped stroking her, whispering to her in a low, hoarse murmur.

"Where?"

The girl turned her head aside with a strange expression, her chest still rising and falling rapidly. Gaara waited for the reply, and leant forward, eventually, when he got none.

"Matsuri, show me," he insisted quietly, in the same time gliding the pads of his fingers up and down the slick wetness. When he brushed the desired spot, Matsuri flinched again, her fists clenching in a tardy motion as her muscles visibly stiffened. He didn't need any other confirmation; everything was written all over her face, and her beautiful body.

"Like that?" he whispered, and she only moaned in a response, with her head lolled back into the sheets.

The sight was like none other, and the redhead watched his girlfriend hungrily, when she thrashed wildly, crying and whimpering. Gradually increasing the pace, he was rewarded with his name tumbling off her lips. He had never heard his own name being uttered in such a voice, tender and yearning, loving and possessive, and he immediately wished she would say it again, while the erotic sparks her every moan was lighting down his lower abdomen threatened to make him explode at any time.

Suddenly, Matsuri's body arched and she locked her thighs around his hand, considerably hampering his movements. Before he could react in any way, the girl screwed her eyes shut and gave the long, throaty groan, which promptly turned into scream, almost sending Gaara over the edge together with her. She was so hot that it practically burned, and he couldn't resist the urge to penetrate the very centre of the tantalizing heat.

The tremors still didn't leave her body but the unexpected intrusion made Matsuri's eyes snap open. The redhead withdrew his hand quickly, swallowing, and he didn't know if the faint sigh she gave was the sign of relief or rather disappointment. Then, the wariness flickered over her features, while she turned her head aside with a frown. Gaara looked in that direction, and immediately noticed what snatched Matsuri's attention. From his gourd, the thin coils of sand started running. He was so accustomed to its presence that he didn't mind it any longer, but Matsuri was probably surprised.

The girl rested on her elbows, and watched the sand trickling down onto the floor.

"Gaara, what are you doing?" she panted, still not fully recovered from the sweetest oblivion.

"It's not me," the redhead tried to explain, feeling strangely tongue-tied at the moment. "It always reacts this way—"

Matsuri snapped her gaze at him, and inhaled sharply.

"What do you mean by 'always'?" she breathed. "Have you... have you done it before?"

Gaara averted his eyes, angry at himself with that rather unfortunate choice of words, and definitely unwilling to go into details. However, Matsuri's shocked expression forced him to clarify the matter.

"I have not," he replied firmly, careful to keep his voice as matter-of-fact as he could. "However, as you surely remember, my sand is strongly charged with my chakra and every time I'm—I'm... agitated, it reacts this way to my... emotions."

Giving the current circumstances, it might be weird he couldn't bring himself to look her in the eye after revealing this little tidbit of what he'd been occasionally doing in private. The girl stared at him with her mouth slightly open and her brow furrowed, before the realization dawned on her.

"Oh... I see..." she muttered in a tiny voice, as she quickly dropped her gaze. Her cheeks were still reddened from the recent elation but now the blush had noticeably deepened. "Um, I'm sorry... sorry that I asked..."

He didn't answer, and she shot a glance at him. He was still looking away, and there was a fair amount of embarrassment and tension recognizable in his blank expression and tense shoulders. Matsuri cursed herself inwardly for ruining the mood, but it was admittedly Gaara's fault, either, wasn't it?

The girl slowly rolled to her side and grasped his hand, smiling uncertainly when he peeked at her.

"You know..." she began, squeezing his palm for reassurance. "If it was my sand, it would be probably floating everywhere by now..."

Gaara scanned her face, still looking impassive, and the kunoichi pushed from the mattress, shifting aside so she would sit up face to face with him. Her heart hammered against her ribs, as she leant in and closed her eyes, putting a long, delicate kiss on his cheek.

"You're still trembling," the young Kazekage murmured into her ear. "Are you cold?"

Matsuri shook her head, and gulped when Gaara gently nibbled at her earlobe.

"Just ignore it," she whispered, turning her head so they could kiss. "It can't be helped..."

Whatever Gaara was going to reply, mingled into their uneven breaths, as they returned to the sensual exploration of each other's mouths. Without breaking the kiss, Matsuri placed her outstretched palm against Gaara's chest, just above his thumping heart. The redhead held his breath for a second, obviously surprised, so she simply let her hand rest there, as it was rising and falling in the rhythm of his breathing. Only when he grew accustomed to her touch, she decided to move back a little. Gaara didn't seem to have any objections but he didn't let her completely go, pressing his forehead against hers. Matsuri shifted her hand a bit, her fingertips brushing against the scar, before she moved down gingerly. _What am I supposed to do?_ she asked herself, the momentary panic overwhelming her as she stroked his stomach, her index finger drawing small circles around his navel. _And how? I'm just... I'm..._

Lifting her hand a bit, she let it hover just above her destination.

"Gaara, help me," she murmured quietly, and he pressed against the back of her palm with his hand. At his wordless insistence, her fingers slowly locked around him, and her stomach flipped since the feeling was like none other. The skin under her fingers was soft yet the inside was everything but soft, as she moved her hand tentatively, feeling the outstanding veins under the sensitive pads of her fingers. Gaara grunted quietly when she repeated the action, and tightened his grip around her palm. Matsuri glanced at him, and was completely enthralled by his dazed expression. Unable to take her eyes off his face, she watched his half-lidded eyes and parted lips, as he apparently derived the utter pleasure from her initially awkward ministrations. It didn't take her long to learn how to establish the right rhythm, and the redhead released her hand soon, throwing his head back as he panted and moaned. The heat coming from his body seemed to be almost unbearable, and Matsuri licked her dry lips, as she steadily quickened the pace.

"Like that?" she whispered hoarsely.

"Harder—" he managed to stutter, and the girl immediately complied with his request. Suddenly, he sucked the sharp breath through his teeth, the powerful shiver going down his body, followed by the low moan, which sent erotic tingles up and down Matsuri's spine. The girl gasped in surprise when the hot, thick liquid spilled down her fingers and the redhead collapsed on the sheets, obviously exhausted. The kunoichi looked at his stomach with fascination, unable to resist the temptation of trailing her fingers along the white, cream-like streaks, and Gaara's eyes flickered open at the gentle touch.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, his words barely intelligible. "I should have warned you..."

Matsuri frowned since she couldn't quite understand why he apologized. Was she supposed to warn him, either?

"That's alright," she said in a hushed voice, before she glanced at him uncertainly. "Um, I think I'll better bring the towel..."

Gaara raised his hand and pressed his forearm against his closed eyes.

"Thank you," he murmured wearily, since he felt completely incapable at the moment. The mattress bent slightly when Matsuri shifted her weight towards the edge of the bed, and soon the sound of the water running could be heard. The redhead rested motionless, still shielding his eyes, struck by the intensity of his recent experience. He would have never thought Matsuri's touch would make so much difference.

The light footsteps approaching the bed interrupted his thoughts, and Matsuri spoke to him in a quiet voice.

"Here you are."

He reached for the damp fabric, and began to clean himself, awkwardly at first. The girl didn't wait for him to finish as she went away, tripping towards the counter.

"Want some water?" she inquired quietly, pouring the full glass before she would drink the liquid greedily. Gaara tried to swallow and realized that his mouth was actually dry as the desert, so he nodded, his eyes never leaving Matsuri's slender form as she stepped up closer and handed him another glass.

"Thank you," he muttered, and sipped the water, reveling in the refreshing sensation. The girl settled herself on the mattress and crawled towards him, before she lay down next to him, resting on her side. Propping herself on her elbow, she drew her hair away from her face and looked at him while he drank the water.

Gaara glanced at her from the corner of his eye, unable to admit even to himself that he was completely enslaved at the moment. Matsuri's expression was utterly serene; her eyes were shining like never before, and the lovely blush adorned her beautiful face as she gazed at him with unconcealed affection. The redhead put the empty glass on the floor near the bed, before he rolled to his side, watching his most precious person, who furrowed suspiciously.

"Stop staring," Matsuri suddenly demanded, and he blinked with astonishment.

"I'm not staring," he contradicted.

"Yes, you are."

"I'm not staring. I'm just looking."

"There's a difference between looking and staring."

"And where exactly that difference lies?"

Matsuri glared at him.

"Don't tell me you don't know the difference between looking at someone and staring at them."

"Okay, I do," he said, defeated and unwilling to argue at the moment, even if he usually cherished their little skirmishes, albeit secretly. "And what if I'm actually staring?"

"I'm telling you to stop."

"I can't," he replied with a shrug. "Besides, I don't want to."

To his bewilderment, Matsuri looked completely flustered by his statement. She averted her eyes and the challenging smirk swiftly vanished from her lips.

"All... right," she said acquiescently, and cuddled closer to him, hiding her face in his shoulder. He snared her waist with his arm, brushing his fingers against her back. Nuzzling at the top of her head, he wallowed in the afterglow, while Matsuri's breath warmed his chest as she yawned.

**The end of chapter 19 part 1.**

**The next chapter: Like none other (part 2)**

o0o0o0o

A/N.

If my account would ever be closed or this story would be deleted by staff, you can find me at AO3. The link is in my profile.


	20. 19 Like none other (part 2)

Here it is, the part 2. Hope it was worth waiting for :)

Story image by tariah23 . deviantart . com

I have her permission to use it.

No betareading.

© "Naruto" is created and copyrighted by Kishimoto Masashi, and owned by Shueisha Publishing Co., Ltd. and Studio Pierrot.

**o0o0o0o**

******Alive And Victorious**

**Chapter 19. Like none other (part 2)**

"Matsuri?" Gaara said, and the girl raised her head, looking at him. Her eyes glittered like the two perfect black diamonds, and the redhead's thoughts were momentarily derailed, as he marvelled at the enchanting sight.

"Yes, Gaara?" she prompted, and he blinked, before he remembered what he previously wanted to say.

"I love you," he uttered quietly, and to his astonishment she immediately saddened. She gazed away with the disheartened expression, sighing heavily.

"I'm going to follow you," she admitted bluntly, and he didn't realize at first what she had meant. After he did, he held his breath as he propped himself on his elbow, eyeing his girlfriend carefully.

"Matsuri, you can't," he finally said, his tone soft, on the verge of plea. He knew chastising her wouldn't be of any help. It would only strengthen her resolve. He had to approach the subject in a different way. "You can't do this to me."

The kunoichi rolled on her back and hid her face in her hands.

"Gaara, I'm sorry," she muttered. "I really am but—"

He grasped her forearm and pulled her hand back from her face, until she glanced at him.

"You need to know I'm not going to the war as the ordinary shinobi," he said, and Matsuri frowned.

"Sure you're not," she commented with a shrug. "You're the Kazekage."

"Actually, there's more to it than that..." he began hesitantly, since he was about to give away the information only a few people in Sunagakure were aware of till now. His girlfriend gazed at him curiously, as she raised her head, apparently waiting for the continuation. "I was nominated Regimental Commander of the Allied Shinobi Forces," he admitted, and Matsuri's eyes widened with disbelief. She sat up, alerted, but then she snorted quietly and relaxed.

"You're taking me in," she accused, laying on her side, face to face with him. "Aren't you...?" she added uncertainly when he didn't speak. "You have never fought in the war before..."

"I suppose the Tsuchikage had a hand in it," Gaara explained. However, it was not much of an explanation to Matsuri.

"The Tsuchikage?" the girl was more and more surprised. "Why would he—?"

"Regardless of the reasons, the fact remains," the redhead stated firmly. "I can't disappoint the Alliance. I _will_ _not_ disappoint the Alliance. I will not fail... that is, if you let me."

The girl let out the long breath she was holding, still not looking convinced.

"Please, Matsuri," Gaara pleaded quietly. "Stay here. Be safe. Please. For me."

Matsuri rolled to her back again and turned her head away to hide the tears. Of course, she couldn't refuse such request. Not when it was uttered in this voice. In this tone. Yet still, the prospect of separation hurt her more than she could explain.

The mattress bent slightly when the redhead leant over her and brought his lips to her eyelashes, kissing the tears away. Matsuri simply lay motionless, her eyes closed as he gently brushed against her eyelids with his mouth.

"Don't cry..." he whispered, almost too quietly, and she locked her arms around his neck with one swift motion, sniffling against his ear.

"Gaara, I'm afraid you'll die," she wept openly. "I'm so afraid..."

"You won't get rid of me so easily," he said in a hushed tone, and she clasped him tightly in the futile attempt to release some of her anxiety and sadness.

"Do you really think the Alliance will win this war?" she inquired after a few minutes of a desperate hugging, and pushed him away a little so she could look into his eyes.

Gaara moved back completely and sat up, his expression serious, as he tried to choose to right words.

"Yes, I think we can win," he answered at last. "If we can overcome the long-standing prejudices and look past the differences, we can form the strongest army in the world."

"Strong enough to defeat Akatsuki?"

The redhead stroked Matsuri's hair and drew a few strands away from her face, giving her a faint, reassuring smile.

"No one can answer that question," he said. "All the hidden villages have their secret weapons and extremely powerful techniques but they only use them as a last resort. For that reason, we can't even imagine the power of all those weapons and techniques combined. Moreover, I believe we have something worth fighting for, and they don't. That's why we're actually stronger."

The kunoichi rolled to her side in silence and stared into space, apparently musing over his words.

"We have something worth fighting for..." she echoed slowly, and rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "And what this would be?"

Gaara didn't know if Matsuri couldn't actually comprehend that or she was just trying him.

"We want to protect what we love and build a better future together," he explained, and she nodded absent-mindedly. He waited for any further comment but Matsuri still seemed to ponder over what he had said.

"It's all good and well," she suddenly spoke, leaving his previous words unaddressed, "but I would feel much better if I could fight instead of sitting around in the village and doing nothing."

"But you won't be just sitting around and doing nothing," he argued. "The fighting troops in the village have to protect the civilians and the village itself in case Akatsuki attempted to destroy our homes. The medical troop will look after the wounded brought from the battlefield. And finally, all of you need to be prepared to bury the dead. It might be not as glorious as fighting, but it's very important nonetheless."

The girl sat up quickly and glanced at him with an obvious irritation.

"You think that's the glory I'm after?" she fumed. "All I want is - how did you put it? - we want to protect what we love, right? And I want to protect the ones I love! To protect you!"

"I know you're not after the glory," Gaara said calmly. "And I want to protect you, too."

Resigned, Matsuri shook her head.

"You always have to have the last word, don't you?" she sighed.

"I do," he agreed since it would be pointless to deny her statement at the moment. Matsuri was obviously too disappointed with his decision to realize she wasn't fair. "I am the Kazekage, after all."

That earned him a glare from her.

"Convenient, isn't it?" she snarled, her fists clenching.

"Yes, it helps in many ways," he said nonchalantly. "How did Kankurou put it? Women are always weak at the knees for the elite—" He wasn't allowed to finish the sentence.

It was as if he was hit with the exploding tag. Matsuri growled lowly, her cheeks reddening threateningly, as the fury consumed her like the fire burning the paper. With the speed increased many times by anger, she grabbed the pillow and smashed it right into the red, annoying head of the most arrogant Kazekage Sunagakure had ever had.

"You!" she yelled, each word emphasized by the whacking sound when the pillow landed on the surprised, wide-eyed face. "You're the snottiest, the most obnoxious—"

Obnoxious or not, the Kazekage's honed reflexes were still excellent. Once he recovered from shock, he instantly caught his girlfriend's wrists, causing her to gasp in surprise and, of course, irritation.

"Matsuri, everyone will hear you," Gaara remarked mildly, while the girl fought his iron grip.

"I can't believe you're so tiny yet so strong!" she grumbled, and the vein in his temple immediately throbbed.

Tiny? Did she just call him _tiny_?

"You're tiny like a girl!" she teased, grinning triumphantly at his darkening expression, still mad at how he threw her words back at her in that manner. "Cool, elite, _tiny_ Kazekage!"

The next moment, she lay on her back, pinned to the sheets, as Gaara hovered over her, scowling.

"Call it off," he drawled, and she tried to wrench out from his grasp, to no avail. After a few futile attempts, she gave up, swearing under her breath.

"I can't," she informed him conversationally, "because it's true."

At that, his eyes narrowed dangerously, conveying the clear message; she would better do what she was told or she would regret it. Matsuri didn't particularly care since she knew he would do no harm to her, yet still that threatening, furious look of his was not something one could easily ignore. There was something in the way he stared; the deceitful calmness of his features, the ominous silence, and the unblinking glare, were much more terrifying than throwing a noisy tantrum, and the girl felt her resolution slowly breaking as he continued staring, like a snake watching his prey.

"Okay," she uttered slowly after clearing her throat. "I'm sorry I called you quiet, cool, strong, hot, elite... and tiny. I'm calling it off. All of it." She added the last bit since she simply couldn't resist taking even the smallest revenge.

Gaara's expression gradually turned confused, and he released his prisoner, shifting away, even if he found their previous position quite tantalizing.

"What do you mean?" he inquired, furrowing and trying to ignore the certain part of his body slowly coming back to life. "I've never said anything like that."

"I know you haven't," Matsuri said with a huff. "I said I called you that but now I'm calling it off."

The redhead waited in silence till the sentence she had said earlier replayed in his head.

"I can't honestly say that I know what you're talking about," he admitted at last. "I only repeated Kankurou's words—"

"Oh, come on, Gaara!" the brunette growled. "Are you pretending or are you actually that dumb?"

He couldn't say her assumptions were helpful.

"I'm not sure myself," he scathed, and Matsuri frowned, nonplussed.

"Don't you really remember?" she asked uncertainly. "I thought you were shoving my words back at my face, and I got angry..."

"I wasn't shoving your words back at your face since I didn't know you have ever uttered them in the first place," he explained, and the girl glanced at him with disbelief.

"How is that possible?" she wondered aloud. "I was so close I could touch you... I asked you if you were alright, and you nodded. How come you didn't hear what I have said a few minutes later?"

The redhead gaped at her, as her every word made it all less and less clear. Matsuri leant forward slightly, looking into his eyes intently, before she drew back, astounded.

"It was after your, um, revival," she clarified. "I thought you were teasing me about what I had said then. Or rather, cruelly making fun of it. I didn't like it."

"You said something then?" he inquired, making sure he actually understood. "Wait... What did you exactly say?"

The girl looked away, exasperated and disconcerted, as the blush creeped up her cheeks.

"It's of no great importance, now," she uttered in an angry murmur. "Besides, I am not particularly fond of recalling those moments."

To be honest, he wasn't particularly fond of it, either, even if learning that people of the village actually grew to appreciate him was rather inspiring experience. But now, he strained his mind to recall the vague memory in details, and it actually seemed Matsuri had said something then; something he couldn't quite grasp, even if he could clearly distinguish her rejoicing voice. Lost in his thoughts, Gaara remembered what his girlfriend said several minutes ago, when he told her to call off the name she had called him. _I'm sorry I called you quiet, cool, strong, hot, elite and... tiny. _Those were her exact words, and suddenly all of it made sense, clicking into place. He glimpsed at Matsuri, who didn't look particularly comfortable nor happy, and couldn't help but wonder if she really thought those of him. If she did, it meant she must have felt some kind of attraction to him for a longer time than he had previously thought.

"Don't make such face," Matsuri growled. "I told you I'm calling it off. You don't deserve any compliments. Not after pushing me away."

Another riddle. He was getting tired of it.

"Matsuri," he spoke firmly. "When I was brought back to life, I didn't know what was going on with me let alone around me. My memory was blurred, and still is. So please, stop speaking in riddles and tell me what happened."

The kunoichi's scrutiny was short but thorough.

"Don't you remember anything?" she asked in demanding voice.

"Only in parts. I remember when you stood in front of me and asked if I was alright. I remember Kankurou's comment about women going weak at their knees for cool, elite types. I remember when he said Elder Chiyo was dead—"

"What about pushing me away?" Matsuri interrupted, avoiding his eyes as if she wanted to hide an emotion. "It was rather mortifying, you know."

"I vaguely recall that someone tried supporting me. I didn't know who that was but I was sure it was a girl. For that, I recoiled," he admitted, and Matsuri blinked. Frowning, she glowered at him, quite unable to believe what she was hearing.

"You recoiled because you didn't want a support from a girl?" she asked, and he winced inwardly.

"Yes, and I can hardly understand why it bothers you so much," he answered dryly.

"Apart from being a sexist, I thought you did it because it was me," Matsuri snarled, rising to her knees and putting her hand on her hip, her other hand thrusting in his direction, her accusatory index finger pointing straight at him. Gaara tried to keep his gaze off her body but it was rather difficult, since her breasts were just in front of his eyes.

"I'm not a sexist," he muttered, attempting to focus on the topic.

"Aren't you?" she drawled sarcastically, fortunately remaining ignorant to what was going on with him. "But you just admitted you didn't want a support from a girl!"

Her breasts heaving up and down in a steady pace, Matsuri waited for an answer and Gaara found it too hard to give any. Speechless, he returned his gaze to his girlfriend's face, but it didn't take him long to find himself staring at her naked chest again.

"Gaara," Matsuri chided, "We're talking!"

Well, maybe she was. He definitely wasn't, since fighting the temptation kept him completely busy at the moment. Matsuri realized that, apparently, since she slowly lowered herself, sitting down on her heels and tugging at the sheet in an attempt to cover herself, as the darkening blush reached the roots of her hair.

"Don't," he asked softly, pulling her hand away. "I want to look at you."

The girl sat stiff, her eyes downcast.

"But we were just talking..." she protested weakly, and he only prayed she wouldn't look at the lower part of his body right now, since during the last few minutes he grew completely ready for the further action. He bent his knees, trying to hide the unstoppable bodily reaction, and only then he spoke.

"Actually, I don't think I can focus on the conversation any longer," he admitted, devouring her with his eyes and in the same time trying to maintain his usual calmness. "Can I... Can I touch you?"

Baffled, Matsuri raised her widened eyes at him, clasping her hands nervously before she settled them on her lap. Her parted lips quivered lightly, as if she wanted to speak but couldn't find the right words. He reached for her hand, entwining her fingers with his; feeling the jouhyou-earned calluses on her delicate skin, he slowly stroked the back of her palm with his thumb. Soon, he brought her hand to his mouth, briefly closing his eyes as he kissed the tips of her fingers. Then he leant forward a bit, turning her palm so he could press his lips against its inside. Matsuri gasped almost inaudibly, pressing her other hand against her chest, and he leered at her from under his eyelashes, his lips still working sensually over her skin. The girl looked away slowly, and swallowed nervously, her heart hammering wildly against her ribs. She remembered they were talking just a minute ago, but she didn't know any longer what the issue was. Then the mattress gave in a little under Gaara's weight and her flustered gaze returned to him, only to find out that he knelt down in front of her, revealing the unmistakable proof of his roaring desire.

Her response was another gasp, more distinctive this time, when he released her hand, leaning forward and settling his arms against the mattress by her sides. Matsuri raised her hand a bit as if trying to stop him but he ignored it completely, drawing near until his face was only a few inches away from hers. The girl leant back a little, the position quite uncomfortable since she was still sitting on her heels, and tried to speak, but the words seemed to die in her throat even before she would utter them. Gaara's gaze dropped at her parted, trembling lips, and he stared at them with unconcealed fascination, before he would finally kiss them. Matsuri's stomach flipped at the familiar sensation of his tongue running lightly over her mouth, gently demanding the entrance, which she unintentionally gave him, sucking in the sharp, surprised breath when she felt his fingers resting against her hip. The redhead purred with delight, sighing hotly into her mouth and gliding his hand down her leg until he could grasp beneath her knee, wordlessly insisting that she would change the position. When she didn't move, he broke the kiss and put his hand against her sternum, pushing her slowly, but firmly onto the mattress. Eventually, Matsuri gave in and lay on her back, her anxious onyx orbs watching him as he crawled on top of her.

"You're trembling again," he observed in a low murmur. "From what I've learnt, people tremble when they are impatient to get something they want very badly..."

Shock didn't even begin to describe Matsuri's reaction. With her jaw dropped, she gaped at him, her mind blank as the sentence sank in. _People tremble when they are impatient to get something they want very badly... _Was he implying what she thought he was implying?

"People also tremble when they are afraid," she informed him in a faint voice.

"Are you afraid, Matsuri?" he inquired with the slightest edge of concern in his voice, and she gulped when he leisurely settled one of his legs in between hers.

"I told you that I am," she whispered, her heart skipping a beat when his other leg followed. "And you?"

"I don't know anymore," he purred, as his face descended upon hers to capture her lips in a kiss. "You make me forget all the fear..."

And she did. Till that moment, he had never thought before he was able to let go completely in someone else's presence. Other people, maybe except for Naruto, made him constantly wary, and he expected rejection at any time.

Always.

It was as if his tears of despair after Yashamaru's betrayal soaked through him, and stayed at the bottom of his soul, the warning sign for him if he was to forget the devastation someday and indulge in trusting others. He didn't know any longer if it was really him or if it was a mental defence he had to develop not to go truly insane. Not that it meant anything, now; he wouldn't be able to get rid of it anymore. He had to quietly accept there would always be a wall between him and others, until someone would come into his life who would be able to make the sand fall away, grain by grain...

The kiss elicited the quiet moan from Matsuri, and the redhead raised his head, still maintaining the pressure of his weight upon his arms and knees.

"Are you afraid of me, Matsuri?" he inquired in a hoarse whisper, and she encircled his neck with her arms, shaking her head ever so slightly.

"Not you, Gaara..." she breathed, her gaze earnest when she looked straight into his eyes.

"Then what?"

"The unknown..."

The unknown. Yes, he understood that. He was a mystery to her just as much as she was a mystery to him.

The enticing, mesmerizing mystery.

Nuzzling at the side of her neck to catch her enthralling scent, he finally settled his weight flush against her body, and placed his lips against Matsuri's pulse, sucking very lightly so he wouldn't leave a mark. Instinctively, the girl entangled her fingers into his hair, her breath suddenly held when he moved down her neck, kissing and licking continuously as if he wanted to taste every inch of her skin. He didn't stop until his face hovered over one of her breasts, and she bit her lower lip when he brushed his lips against her nipple. Thrilled and confused, she briefly wondered if he hadn't cross the line, but all her doubts were promptly forgotten when the warm, wet sensation of his tongue caressing the small nub electrified her to the point where she could only make the soft, little noises of rapidly increasing pleasure.

Gaara took his time to explore many possibilities of teasing his girlfriend while using his lips, tongue and teeth, before he decided to switch his attention to other areas. Kissing Matsuri's stomach, he was rewarded with a loud gasp, followed by some unintelligent mumbling. He tried to ignore it but what he was trying to do apparently was too much for Matsuri, because she lifted her torso, propping herself on her elbows, and scowled at him, her thighs clenching tightly in protest.

"Gaara!" she rebuked but the effect was lost since she was panting and her voice was breaking. "What do you think you're doing?"

The redhead didn't know how to reply to her question. Actually, he knew pretty well what he was doing, and he supposed she knew it as well.

"You want me to stop?" he inquired, wondering why kissing her abdomen would be right but applying the same caress to the spot between her legs, located only several inches away, would be wrong.

"Yes!" she breathed quite angrily, watching how the disappointment slowly tinted his expression. He looked slightly baffled by her refusal but giving up was obviously the foreign concept to him.

"But why?" he asked, sliding down a bit.

Matsuri still tried to clench her thighs but it was rather difficult since he was still positioned in between them.

"Just because," she growled, sitting up and giving his shoulders a hard shove.

"Tell me why," he demanded, gripping her knees and refusing to let go.

"What the—!" she exclaimed, dismayed. "Is this how you handle girls? If you can't get what you want, you're taking it by force?"

The slight blush dusted over his cheeks at her words, and he released her immediately, since he realized that he actually hated being denied anything he thought that should be his.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, avoiding her eyes. Matsuri didn't reply, breathing heavily, but she considerably relaxed.

"And you should be," she admonished in a lighter tone. "What has got into you?"

Of course, he couldn't explain that. Not to her.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I won't try it again."

Matsuri cast a long glance at him, her lips pursed in a way that announced she was deliberating over something.

"Let me do it first, okay?" she asked a bit too lightly to sound natural. Shocked, Gaara stared at her with his eyes slightly widened. When she leant forward a bit, he panicked and grabbed her shoulders.

"Wait, Matsuri," he stuttered, and she flickered a glimpse at him.

"What is it?" she asked sweetly. "You have a problem with that?"

Damn, she could be so wicked sometimes.

"Just forget it," he hissed, gritting his teeth. "I said I won't try it again."

Hearing that, Matsuri was relieved but she was also upset. Gaara's irritation was apparent, and it didn't seem to subside, as if he still believed she didn't have the right to refuse any of his wishes. It was not the nicest thing to realize, and she bit her lip slightly, glancing at her boyfriend uncertainly.

"Gaara, it's not fair," she said quietly. "You can't always get what you want—"

"I know!" he spat angrily, causing her to flinch. Matsuri raised her hand in a response, and pointed at his forehead.

"You know it here," she said, and lowered her arm, "but you refuse it here," she added, her finger brushing his chest like a feather before she drew back quickly. Gaara glared at her briefly in silence, and she couldn't suppress a sigh, her eyes downcast.

"I don't know if you feel like it but I still want to continue," she admitted in a tiny voice, her cheeks burning madly. She would never credit herself with so much courage. Of course, she knew she wasn't a coward, but this was a very specific kind of courage, to speak her mind on what was very embarrassing to her and made her feel extremely vulnerable.

The redhead still didn't move nor spoke, what made her even more nervous when she shifted herself to sit next to him. Leaning towards him, she flickered her eyes at him, and she found out he was looking at her; his pale, mysterious orbs so close that she would drown in them if she wouldn't be careful. Flustered, Matsuri blinked a few times and averted her gaze swiftly, only to get the displeased murmur from him.

"Don't," he insisted, touching her cheek. "I want to see your eyes."

So her gaze returned to his, and stayed that way, while he pushed her gently onto the mattress and hovered over her, waiting for her to spread her legs a bit wider so he could position himself in between them. After that, he froze motionless, his eyes seeking reassurance from her. Matsuri nodded weakly, answering to his mute request, and braced herself up for the pain, when Gaara's hand sneaked down, followed by his gaze. Hissing almost inaudibly, the kunoichi screwed her eyes shut and winced slightly, clawing at his forearms when the strangest sensation she had ever experienced hit her.

As it turned out, it was not about pain at all; at least not all of it. She had been through more pain before, and she could easily stand it. It was about the completely foreign feeling elicited by the intrusion; the feeling of being breached, vulnerable and overwhelmed in a way that reached deeper one could ever imagine. Gaara was in her, and not only literally. In the very moment he had entered her, he had just become a part of her and she knew she would never be able to erase him from her soul, at least not until someone administered her with some advanced Sennō Sōsa no Jutsu.

"Gaara..." she breathed, when he started pulling back. "Wait..."

The redhead barely registered her words, lost in the sea of the unfamiliar sensations, too. Matsuri apparently wanted him not to move so she could slowly adjust to him, but, unfortunately, he wasn't able to stop. He was afraid that he wouldn't be able to stop even if the ceiling started collapsing on him. Plunging into the embrace of the hot delicious wetness felt like falling into the abyss with nothing to save him from the fall, and he realized he was constantly gasping for air, his every breath laboured and almost desperate. Hardly aware of the trembling presence of another human being under him, he closed his eyes and shivered when his carefully built defences began to crumble, and all he could do was calling out his girlfriend's name in a shaking voice.

Matsuri flickered her eyes open, shifting her palms up Gaara's arms and gripping his shoulders in an attempt to make him slow down.

"Gaara..." she whined quietly, and his gaze immediately sought hers. The eye contact was thrilling, and also terrifying, making both of the young lovers gasp in shock, when they instantly experienced the magic of touching each other's soul with only looking into each other's eyes.

"M-Matsuri..." the redhead moaned, hiding his face in Matsuri's shoulder, while she dug her nails into his skin a little, sobbing without tears along with the rhythm of thrusts he was sinking into her. The initial pain began to fade, or maybe she had just grew accustomed to it; she didn't quite know. In its place, the new, exotic sensation began to arise, but she didn't have time to explore it. Without any warning, the powerful tremor ran down Gaara's body, followed by the loud groan, and he collapsed onto her, his hot pants almost burning the sensitive skin below her collar-bone. Instictively, Matsuri locked him in her arms, the wild beating of her heart slowly beginning to calm down, as her fingers played absent-mindedly with his red locks. Gaara listened to her heartbeat with his eyes closed, slowly recovering from one of the most emotionally exhausting experiences he had ever had, before he would finally raise his head and sought Matsuri's eyes to find out if everything was alright with her.

The girl wasn't looking at him but she spoke immediately.

"It will be dawn soon."

"Yes," he said slowly, and watched her for several minutes, until she looked at him in silence. Their eyes met but neither of them uttered a word since there were no words in this world to express the love and gratitude they felt. Eventually, Gaara pushed himself from the mattress and shifted aside to sit up next to Matsuri, glancing at her graceful frame for the last time before he would go to the war. She mumbled something about having to go to the bathroom, and when she disappeared behind the door, he took a towel and dipped it in the water, cleaning himself carefully before he would put his clothes on. He was just done with his pants and net shirt when Matsuri left the bathroom, and she gasped quietly at the sight. Her bare feet didn't make any noise as she approached him swiftly and clung to him, as if in the last desperate attempt to stop him.

"I have to go," he whispered quietly, hugging her tightly and nuzzling at the crown of her head.

"I know," Matsuri sniffled, and wiped her eyes quickly, angrily. Gaara released her and reached for his coat, and she sighed, taking a few steps back, her eyes briefly flickering at the sand resting quietly on the floor, even if it was coiling and swishing wildly not so long ago. Sighing again, she put her nightshirt on and faced her boyfriend, who was almost done with his attire. The redhead waved his hand and the sand flew obediently to him, the yellow and ochre ribbons intertwining with straps until the gourd was reshaped in its place.

Matsuri tripped towards the door and waited for Gaara to join. The couple hugged each other tenderly before they shared the goodbye kiss.

"Don't say goodbye," Matsuri whispered, pressing her trembling hands against the nape of Gaara's neck. "You will come back to me, right? Please, Gaara... Come back to me..."

"I will," he whispered back, since at the moment he really believed that he would. Taking in her enchanting scent, he lowered his head and brushed against her ear with his lips. "Alive and victorious."

******The end of chapter 19 part 2.**

******The next chapter: Alive and victorious**

**o0o0o0o**

Sennō Sōsa no Jutsu - lit. Memory-Concealing Manipulative Sand Technique, Sasori's technique created for the purpose of making sleeper agents


	21. 20 Alive And Victorious

I'm sorry I didn't update earlier but I was very busy with my groups on deviantArt^^' I'm the founder of Naruto-best-fanarts and Gaara-best-fanarts, and co-founder in GaaraMatsu. If you're interested to check out those groups, find the links in my profile. Bonus: GaaraMatsu is actually hosting the contest :3

This chapter wasn't betaread.

Gaara, Matsuri, and Narutoverse still belong to Kishimoto Masashi. Damn it xD

o0o0o0o

**Alive And Victorious**

**Chapter 20. Alive and victorious**

Matsuri opened her eyes. She blinked a few times, rubbing against her forehead with the back of her palm, before she slowly rolled on her side and scanned the room carefully. Not that she expected to find anything there, but she had to see with her own eyes there wasn't even one grain of sand left.

Naturally, the room was empty. As if nothing happened there.

The girl sat up and stroked the bedsheet absent-mindedly, when the bittersweet memories of the last night returned. The fabric was smooth under her fingertips but it seemed to be cold. So cold in comparison to Gaara's warm skin.

She grabbed the fistfuls of the bedsheet and leant forward, pressing her face against it. The linen still held his scent, even if only a little. Matsuri inhaled deeply but the scent seemed to fade away. Desperately, she tried to catch it, until her rapid breathing turned into sobs and the hot tears soaked in the fabric. She knew that the hour was rather late and she was supposed to leave the house but she couldn't bring herself to care, while she wept into the linen, whispering her beloved redhead's name in a breaking voice, so desperate and sad as if he was already gone.

o0o0o0o

The jounins headquarters weren't as busy as they had been recently, since only several of them stayed in charge of protecting the village. Because of that, Baki was definitely surprised, when someone knocked at his office's door.

"Come in," he commanded, wondering who decided to visit him at this hour, when the entire village was gathering on the cliffs to see the army marching out. He could put a few guesses but he definitely didn't expect to see the Kazekage's red head, as the boy glimpsed inside, apparently checking out if Baki was alone. Once Gaara confirmed he could enter safely, he went in, his steps noiseless. The two greeted each other with a nod since there were no words needed between them. Baki stood up from his chair and went towards his former student, suddenly worried.

"I would like to ask you a favour," Gaara spoke, looking into Baki's only eye.

The jounin frowned, since there was something in the redhead's voice he hadn't heard before. Of course, Gaara wasn't used to making requests, but it seemed there was something more to his attitude than a simple discomfort caused by his decision to rely on someone else. Slowly, Baki acknowledged his words with a nod, and waited till the redhead gathered his thoughts and continued.

"Please take care of Matsuri while I'm gone."

Baki held his breath a bit, even if he couldn't say he was completely surprised by those particular words. So Gaara came to him with a personal request. That, more than anything else, told the jounin how Gaara had changed. There was a specific kind of courage recquired to make such a request, and Gaara hadn't had it before since he was always afraid of rejection. Baki knew it, because his former student, even if he had been terrifying and terrorizing, once, was always rather easy to read; at least to his teacher.

Proud with Gaara, and with himself, Baki held the redhead's gaze steadily, noticing that the boy swallowed almost imperceptibly.

"I decided she would stay in the village but I need to be sure she wouldn't disobey me. I have to be absolutely certain she's safe," the young Kazekage finished, and breathed deeply. Baki glanced away, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, while Gaara waited for his reply in silence.

"Yes, the girl could do that," the jounin muttered, eventually, more to himself than to Gaara.

Once, Baki was concerned that the girl would be an easy prey for those who would like to destroy Kazekage's reputation. As it turned out, he was wrong, and Gaara, who believed in Matsuri, was right. His logic failed where Gaara's instincts succeeded.

Maybe he ought to put more faith in his former student, after all.

The jounin looked into the Kazekage's eyes again, only to see a frail, unrecognizable emotion in them, when the redhead spoke in a quieter tone.

"She's... precious to me."

_Precious._ Baki didn't need to be told anything else. He grew serious immediately, his eyes sticking to Gaara's.

"I swear I will protect her with my life," he announced solemnly, and the redhead blinked, obviously astounded.

"I—" he stuttered, before he made a bow, as if he was a subordinate, and Baki was a superior. "Thank you very much—" Gaara said in a low voice, and was interrupted by the rapid knocking on the door.

"Kazekage-sama!" the voice urged, apparently impatient. The redhead approached the door and put his hand on the doorknob. Baki still stood in front of his desk and watched the young ruler of Suna, who glanced at him over his shoulder. The pale aqua eyes assessed Baki for the last time before the Kazekage went out of the jounin's office, leaving his former teacher alone to his own insecurities and concerns.

o0o0o0o

It had been seven days since Gaara left the village, and Matsuri couldn't help but waiting for the letter even if she knew she wouldn't get any, at all. Suna ninjas had just arrived at Kumo, most likely. They were extremely busy at the moment, and Gaara was the busiest one amongst them. But... she hoped he would think of her, at least. Sometimes. Maybe.

She wondered about the people from other villages he would meet. The old dear friends. New formidable allies. Great, strong ninjas. Powerful, beautiful kunoichis. They would fight by his side. She wouldn't. And it was a bitter pill to swallow, still. She would begin to think of following him, despite her promise, if Baki didn't watch her. At first, she was surprised that the jounin kept her by his side for most times. She was glad he kept her busy, but she was suspicious, too. And finally, she just knew.

He was watching her. Closely. As if he expected she would attempt to sneak out. She still didn't know if he was doing it on his own, or if it was the Kazekage's order, but the fact remained. He watched her.

Sometimes, Matsuri was so desperate that she hardly controlled herself not to ask him about it. Not to ask him about any news on Gaara. The council was certainly getting some messages from Alliance headquarters but nobody would share them with a mere chuunin girl. Matsuri simply had to wait, and an impatient anxiety was a torture to her.

Sari was waiting, either. She was quiet and sad those days, since she hadn't find the courage in her to declare her feelings to Kankurou before he left, and now she could only silently pray he would come back home safely. Matsuri knew that Sari missed Gaara's brother just as much as she missed Gaara. She missed the redhead - everything about him - so much that it was killing her, and she wondered if he missed her, too. Usually, the girls would talk about it so the conversation would ease their anxiety... but not this time. There was no comfort for them, and talking about their loved ones would only rub salt into the wound, so they remained silent. Nobody knew the tears they shed at night, and the pain they carried in their hearts. Day by day, they waited.

And waited.

And waited.

It had been fourteen days since Gaara left when the first gossips started running rampant, and people began to whisper about legions of dead ninjas, who were brought to this world by Akatsuki, and made fight their former comrades. At first, it seemed too unbelievable to Matsuri. She couldn't quite imagine the power recquired to call back hundreds, or maybe even thousands of long since dead people, whose bodies must have been long rotten and turned to dust. However, the rumours didn't stop spreading like the fire in the woods. Day by day, the picture they were creating grew more and more horrible and daunting, and Matsuri often found herself waking up in the middle of the night, crying from fear. In her nightmares, the swarm of zombies was destroying Sunagakure, killing her friends, and annihilating everything she held dear.

Even Gaara.

Those nights, she sat on the window-sill and watched the night sky, silently calling out to him through the space. Naturally, he couldn't hear her, but it made her feel a bit better. Just a little bit... because he was still alive. He wasn't wounded, and he didn't fall yet. Such news would be announced immediately so Matsuri knew that he was alive, and nothing else mattered.

_He was alive._

It had been twenty five days since he left, when several disabled ninjas returned home. Their injuries were healed by the medics from Medical Division but even the greatest healer couldn't make cut limbs grow back. The disabled ninjas wouldn't contribute to the war effort unless they would be formidable strategists or medics so they were sent home. The long journey from Kaminari no Kuni to Kaze no Kuni didn't lift their moods, and when they finally arrived, the stories they were telling about the enemy were definitely not what Suna needed at those tough times. Baki tried to shut them up but a few days later another two Suna ninjas appeared at the village's gates. Those were hit by an unknown irreversible technique, which no one from Medical Division could counter. At the prospect of an inevitable death, the wounded ninjas asked the headquarters for permission to return home and, if they would be lucky enough, die with their families by their side. The permission was granted, and now they came back to the village, bringing some names that were not listed before, Pakura included. The message was a shock to the council and the villagers, since many of them had come to know Pakura before she was betrayed and murdered by Kiri. An overwhelming fear began to seep into the hearts of the people of Suna even if the Alliance seemed to handle the enemy quite well. But still, the news Matsuri feared the most did not come, which meant the Kazekage was still alive.

And then, a week later, they brought the dead from the battlefield for the first time.

The despair reigned over the village, followed by anger. Many ninjas, who were told to stay in the village, wanted to join the Alliance army on the battlefield, replacing their dead comrades. Baki was furious, and threatened to punish them severely if they disobeyed Kazekage's orders, but they kept boiling over. After a few days, Matsuri couldn't endure their tedious discussions any longer. She yelled at them, and the words her heart chose were rather embarrassing, but the ninjas finally stopped whining, and it was all that mattered.

Matsuri could understand them so well since she wanted to fight, too. But she remembered what Gaara had said when she complained. _Y__ou won't be just sitting around and doing nothing._ And they weren't. No one could say they were bored or inactive. Of course, it didn't stop them from worrying about their friends and relatives fighting against Akatsuki, but Matsuri finally realized - and she hoped everyone realized it, too - that there were no greater or lesser tasks in this war. Those who were fighting on the battlefield needed to be certain that their homes would stay unharmed, and their loved ones would be safe. Only then they could fight without fear. And the task of protecting the homeland was appointed to those who stayed behind.

The realization considerably decreased Matsuri's impatience but it didn't ease her fear of Gaara's death. She wondered how he was doing, and how her friends were doing. Darui had become quite a puppeteer but he was still a chuunin, and he still had a long way to go as a ninja. Yakku went to the war, either, but she tried not to think about him. There was no reconciliation of any kind with him before he left, and she regretted it a little. If, by any case, he would die, he wouldn't know that she forgave him for what he did to her. Naturally, she was still wary about him. She wanted to know if he planned to continue on his attempts to ruin her relationship with Gaara, or he had just given up after his recent fail.

Oddly enough, several days later she heard the familiar voice in the hospital. Appalled, she froze in her steps, and listened carefully, even if she knew she couldn't be mistaken. It was Yakku's voice, weak and trembling with agony, answering the medic's questions. The girl approached them reluctantly, not knowing what to do. Another two medics passed by her, and hurried behind the screen. The one who was inquiring Yakku went out, scanning his notebook with a frown. Raising his eyes briefly, he spotted Matsuri lurking behind the screen, and waved at her.

"Matsuri-san, you're going to help," he commanded, and she opened her mouth to protest. "This is emergency," he said, before she was even able to speak. "Whatever you were going to do, has to wait until we're finished with this."

Since Matsuri wasn't ordered to do any emergency treatment, she couldn't deny the request, at least not without telling a sound reason. Slowly, she joined the medics gathered by Yakku's bed. At first, she didn't see the boy's face, because Sekka was leaning over him, his genius hands glowing with a green light, as he moved them up and down the patient's body. When Matsuri stepped closer, Sekka glanced at her over his shoulder.

"Matsuri, you're going to assisst me." Before she could react, he continued giving orders. "Abiru, take the blood sample to the laboratory. Tsuchino, go to Ebizou-sama, and kindly ask him for the permission to enter his library. We need everything you can find on techniques causing incessant bloodloss, immediate treatment of the victim, and countertechniques."

The medics hurried away, and Sekka shifted aside, so Matsuri could finally see Yakku's face. He was very pale, to the point of his skin taking on the greenish tint. His expression was serene, and his eyes seemed to be unbearably weary, when he blinked, focusing his gaze on his former friend.

"Hello, Matsuri," he croaked in a weak voice, and Sekka growled under his breath.

"Quiet," he ordered, not looking at the boy's face. "Matsuri, concentrate on the heart, the SAN in particular."

The kunoichi put her palms on Yakku's chest, immediately.

"Do not try to stabilise the rate," Sekka warned. "But don't let it drop further, either."

She nodded, swallowing, and focused on forcing the chakra into her hands, while Yakku drew in the long, shaky breath.

"Matsuri, they say I'm dying," he said, earning another glare from the medic. "And I want you... to know—"

"Quiet!" Sekka hissed, placing his palms on Yakku's stomach. "Lie still!"

"I have to... sort this out... before I'll... go."

"We're doing anything possible to not let you go," Matsuri assured but Yakku only rolled his eyes. It seemed even this small movement took a lot of strength from him, because he rested in silence for a few minutes before he spoke again.

"Matsuri... listen... I lasted this long... to tell you... that I know... that I was... wrong."

"Stop talking, _now_!" the medic commanded, apparently losing his patience.

"I can't," Yakku whispered. "Matsuri, please... forgive me..."

"Don't think about it, now," she pleaded. "It'll only make you feel worse."

"What I had done... to you... was awful... but now... I understand..." he whispered, his voice even quieter than before. "He's a... great shinobi... Amazing... I wish you could... have heard... his speech... to the allied forces—"

"Yakku, stop talking!" Matsuri interrupted. She didn't want to speak about Gaara, especially not with Yakku, not even mentioning Sekka who was listening to their every word. It was too embarrassing, and hurtful, too.

"I know... why you chose... him... I admit... I was wrong... about him..."

"This can't go on," Sekka said to Matsuri. "You have to leave. Ask Tomari or Sari to come and assisst me. We also need a medicine to counter the effects of the draught, which forced the bone marrow to produce more erythrocytes."

"No!" Yakku raised his head, and collapsed on the pillow, gasping. "I can't... die—" he coughed heavily, as his every breath seemed to tear his lungs apart.

"You're not going to die, young man! You have to live and tell the Kazekage himself that you were wrong about him," Sekka said a bit harshly but Yakku didn't seem to register his words.

"Matsuri..." he went on. "I'm so... sorry..."

"That's okay," she said in a low voice, leaning forward and stroking his forehead. "It's all right, now. Rest. We'll talk about it later."

Yakku closed his eyes, and relaxed a bit.

"Are you... happy... with him?"

Matsuri didn't reply at once, biting her lip. She didn't have much practice as a rookie medic nin, let alone the skills, but she learnt already that sometimes people knew that they were going to die. If that was the case, she had to stop insisting and let Yakku speak so he could find peace before he would go.

Her friend opened his eyes, obviously trying to read her expression to find out why she didn't speak.

"Yes," she answered at last, as the tears welled in her eyes. "I am."

Yakku's eyelids slid down again, and he sighed heavily.

"You know... I thought... it would hurt... if you would... admit... that he makes you... happy... But... it doesn't... hurt... anymore..."

"Good to hear," Matsuri replied, smiling weakly. "Now, please, just rest and let us help you."

"I'm glad... you want to... save me... but I've seen... too many deaths... to be oblivious..." He wheezed and coughed again, the thin trickle of blood slowly streaking down his chin. "I'm... dying... That was... pretty wicked... technique..."

"You can't die!" Matsuri protested, terrified. "You made it this far!"

The faint smirk curved the corners of his mouth.

"So... you care... about me?"

"You silly, of course I do!" she sniffled. "I always have."

Before he could reply, several skilled medics joined Sekka in his attempts to save the boy's life. They had sent Matsuri home, and she had no chance to talk with her friend again. She was restless, worrying Yakku would die before she could see him again, but she knew medics wouldn't let them have a private conversation unless Yakku's condition was stable. Given that even the medics from the Medical Division couldn't help him, there was actually not much hope he would survive.

The next day, Matsuri woke up early, and hurried to the hospital, only to find out that she was right. Yakku didn't survive the night; the combined effect of the technique, and the draught some medic from Kawa no Kuni had administered to him before the boy got to Suna, were too much for his weakened body. They didn't know if his strength had finally dropped to the point where he simply gave up, or something happened to him that decreased his will to live. Of course, Matsuri instantly thought the conversation with her took away Yakku's life, and she felt so guilty. Now, apart from the enormous grief, she also had to bear with the nagging sense of guilt. She was frightened by how hard she cried at the funeral. She refused to think what her reaction would be if it was Gaara. She pushed away those thoughts, put a mental barrier around them, and pretended they never existed in the first place. Yakku's death was horrible enough and Gaara... Gaara was still alive.

She repeated it in her head as if some kind of mantra.

Gaara was still alive.

It had been forty six days since he left, when the messenger hawk brought the most welcome message: The Alliance defeated the enemy. At first, people seemed to be disbelieving, or maybe even reluctant to accept the news. The victory meant there would be even more wounded to look after, and even more dead to be buried, and people had enough of suffering. However, the victory is not something one could simply ignore, so after a few days they began celebrating. For Matsuri, there was no reason to celebrate, yet. The one she was waiting for still didn't come back, and she was more impatient than ever, climbing the cliffs each and every day, and looking at the eastern horizon for as long as she could. One day in the morning, she noticed the distant figures, small at first, but growing bigger and bigger with every minute. The girl's heart almost leapt from her chest while she stared at the familiar flak jackets and turbans, her eyes watering and stinging from strain. Unfortunately, she couldn't spot the distinctive red hair anywhere, and the fear clawed at her chest, forcing the breath out of it. Close to fainting, she jumped off the cliff, and joined the crowd, which had already gathered at the gates. When the approaching army got closer, Matsuri was certain that Gaara wasn't amongst them. As the Kazekage, he would have walked at the very front, but she couldn't see him anywhere. His siblings weren't there, either, and the girl wondered what held them back.

The next moment, the uproar people caused became barely bearable. Parents and children, couples and friends, all of them began crying, calling and squealing with happiness, or grief. Matsuri stood In the middle of the pandemonium, her mind blank, and her hands cold. The initial disappointment faded away quickly, leaving only emptiness in her heart, when she looked around, her gaze blurry. Suddenly, someone came to a halt next to her, and called her name. The kunoichi frowned, realizing she knew that voice, even if it wasn't the voice she wanted to hear the most.

"Darui," she uttered indifferently, and he hugged her to his chest in return. Surprised, Matsuri embraced him gingerly, listening to his voice whispering to her ear.

"Matsuri, you have no idea... I'm— It's so good to see you, so good to see you!" he rambled. "And Sari, where is she? I want to— No, I don't even— Suppose I should see Sana first... _Oh, Matsuri_!"

With those words, he leant backwards, and Matsuri could finally see his eyes, veiled with tears. Those were haunted eyes; the horrors Darui had just experienced were still written in them, and all his emotions were flayed open for her to see.

She grabbed his hands, and squeezed them with all her might.

"I love you, too, Darui," she said with an angelic smile, and he sniffled quietly, blinking to force the tears back. "Now, go and see Sana. She's on duty at the moment; you will find her at the Kazekage Tower's entrance."

Darui stared at her, apparently confused, and she pushed him towards the gate.

"Go!" she repeated. "We'll see each other later, and you will tell us everything. Now, go!"

Without further delay, he turned around, and ran towards the gate. After a few steps, he stopped, and turned around again.

"He had to stay in Kumo for a few days more but he'll be here soon!" Darui exclaimed. "Wait for him, will you?"

Matsuri gasped, pressing her palms against her chest, and nodded. She was ready to wait in this very spot, literally, unless Gaara wouldn't come, but she realized it wasn't a good idea. Biting her lower lip, she dragged herself towards the cliffs, wondering what it was what made Gaara stay in Kumo when all the troops marched away already. Was there a kind of farewell party? A special celebration for the victors? Whatever it was, she hated it deeply, since it prolonged the painful separation for another week, or so.

She had to wait for another five days and two hours until someone stormed into the hospital, carrying the most welcome message. Matsuri was treating a patient at the moment, and her hands started trembling immediately. The shinobi whom she was treating smiled weakly when he saw her reaction.

"Easy, girl," he muttered. "Don't worry about me. I'm fine."

The kunoichi blinked, astonished. Furrowing, she tried to link the patient's comment, and her actual emotional reaction. Gradually, she realized he probably thought she was nervous about treating because she thought she could do something wrong. Faking a smile, she prayed for someone to come so she could ask them to take her place. When Sari came running, with an enormous beam plastered to her face, Matsuri was on the verge of tears already. Abiru was following Sari but he didn't look content at all.

"I want to go there, too," he lamented. "Why should I stay here?"

The next moment, something apparently clicked in the patient's brain.

"Aren't you Kazekage's girlfriend?" he asked, and three young medics snapped their gazes at him. Matsuri blushed madly, and nodded in silence. "Then go!" he encouraged, gesturing towards the exit. "You must have missed him a lot, haven't you?"

Abiru glared at Matsuri, and sat down with a sigh.

"Thank you," she said at last, her voice faint. Behind her, Sari was shifting impatiently, and it didn't help Matsuri to keep her calm when she explained Abiru what she was doing earlier. When she was done, Sari caught her hand, and the girls dashed out as if they grew wings. Many people had also heard the news so the streets were rather busy. Matsuri and Sari started pushing through but it didn't took long when they had enough. They weren't ninjas for nothing so they swiftly climbed the nearest wall. Soon, they reached the gates, and went out, squeezing each other's sweaty hands. Matsuri's heart was hammering like crazy when she stared at the eastern horizon, recognizing familiar figures in the distance. The first thing she could distinguish was Temari's giant fan, the next - Gaara's red hair. The sobs began to rise within Matsuri's chest, and she pressed her fingers against her mouth. From the corner of her eye she could notice that Sari did exactly the same thing. The small group crossing the desert was getting closer and closer, and it lasted hours.

Days.

Months.

Years.

Matsuri's entire body shivered with impatience; unconsciously, she made a step forward, then another, but it was still not enough. The distance between them was still so enormous that she couldn't bear it any longer. Without even realizing it, she began to walk but soon she was running, her feet continuously getting stuck in the loose sand. Stumbling and gasping for air, she ran, her eyes focused on Gaara. People behind her were saying something, laughing and commenting, but it seemed to her as if those voices were only a distant buzzing. They meant nothing.

She could see that his skin wore the marks of a fight for the first time. His flak jacket was torn, his sandals worn, but it didn't matter at all. He came back to her, just like he promised.

Alive and victorious.

Suddenly, the sand under her feet hardened, and it felt as if she was running down the village's road. The change was unexpected, and made her trip, but she regained her balance quickly. Beaming, she dashed forward again, while the crowd far behind her followed her example. Gaara quickened his pace, either, coming to a halt only a minute before Matsuri threw herself in his arms.

Laughing and crying, sniffing and whispering, she clung to him as if she fought for her dear life. The embrace was tight, almost desperate, but it was still not tight enough for those two who simply wanted to melt into each other. However, it didn't took them long before they stepped away from each other, holding their hands, and finally looking into each other's eyes.

The sight made Matsuri gasp from shock. She blinked, wondering if it was only her or there actually was something different about Gaara's eyes.

She knew those eyes. She could read the sea-foam orbs almost as well as she could read her own. And now, what she had just seen utterly confused her, because something was gone from them. Something that had been there from the very first time she saw him was gone, and Matsuri could see it even clearer when he leant in to kiss her.

The kiss tasted bitter like tears, and sweet like the dream coming true. Somewhere far, far away from the couple someone whistled at the sight, and someone chuckled, but they couldn't care less, while they stood in the middle of the desert, moving their hands up and down each other's body as if uncertain if it was for real. Matsuri stepped back first; she savoured the kiss, and didn't want to break it, but on the other hand she simply had to see Gaara's eyes again.

The redhead grabbed her waist and lifted her, the shadow of a first honest smile lurking just behind his usual calm expression. His face was spotted with Matsuri's tears when he turned around a few times before he put her onto the ground again, wiping the shining streaks from her face while she stared into his eyes, amazed.

They were always kind of blank, except of those rare moments when he let them reflect his soul. But now, they were alive, in a way that seized her completely.

Gaara seemed to register her immense shock at last, since he blinked, and froze in his movements. Matsuri shook her head quickly, her own onyx orbs unable to avert from his even for a moment, contemplating, searching, looking for an answer why the war, which had inflicted so many wounds on bodies and souls of other people, didn't have the same effect on Gaara. Actually, it was the opposite, and Matsuri gasped when the realization dawned on her.

The agony, which completely disappeared from his eyes, could only mean one thing: That his soul was healed at last. Matsuri didn't have the slightest idea how or why it happened but the truth of it was undeniable, and it increased the happiness beyond all imagination. The war was won, and the enemy defeated. They were about to celebrate the victory with the ones they loved, but when the small, gentle smile finally found its way to Gaara's lips, Matsuri thought that there could never be more important, and greater victory than _that_.

**The End.**

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A/N. Yes, it's the last chapter! This was how it was planned from the very beginning. I planned this story almost a year ago, and I'm so proud with myself I managed to finish it xD Thank you very much for comments, favs and follows! And I'm so grateful to my wonderful betareaders: **Annabella Colt**, **Katakiari**, and **Ranchii**! :* You're great! Thank you for your patience to put up with my English! ^^'

Naturally, I have already started planning another multi-chaptered story :D I made the poll to know, which one of two plots you would like to see developed first, and majority of the people voted on 'fake girl theme' xD However, I'm going to write the second one. Why, you ask? Well, there are a few reasons. I feel more like it, simple as that. I've been writing romance for a year, you know. Apart from that, there are the reviews ^^' Most of them is like "oh great chapter can't wait to read the next one" so I decided I'm not obliged by the poll result. Sorry^^' And, finally, **DivineHearts** brought to my attention that there is a large shortage of non-romantic Gaara stories, recently. "It would be nice to have a change of pace in genre," she said, and I agree with her completely!

So, "The Longest Road"'s prologue will be submitted on September 5th. Why this day? See the date when the first chapter of "Alive And Victorious" was posted! xD


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